GEOPUNGUIN    
 
 
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Geopenguin

A year half lost or gained? Right now feels like lost, but I know better.

Am still looking for my mojotivation.

Peace all
Penguin out
A year half lost or gained? Right now feels like lost, but I know better.

Am still looking for my mojotivation.

Peace all
Penguin out




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 current weight: 184.0 
 
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Member Since: 1/16/2012

SparkPoints: 4,514

Fitness Minutes: 2,700

Other Information:
Mind strong...
Body strong...
Gotta find
Equilibrium...

(Bush, The Sound of Winter)

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Happy Thanksgiving
From:
JOYCECAIN

Rainbow
From:
PROT358

Best Wishes
From:
TEENY_BIKINI

Gold Star
From:
TEENY_BIKINI

Scale
From:
JANNEPERRY

Vegetable Soup
From:
TEENY_BIKINI




Member Comments:
PROT358
12/2/2013 9:59:49 PM

I'm sorry to hear you lost your job! That must be very stressful, so I can completely understand how other things have taken back burner. I hope I didn't seem too critical or negative. It's hard to convey tone in words. Good luck with the piece, whenever you get a chance to pick it up again!

Comment edited on: 12/2/2013 10:00:02 PM

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PROT358
12/1/2013 9:09:32 PM

Hi Geo!

Iím sorry about the late reply! I no longer receive spark reminders when I have sparkmail, so I just found it in my inbox last week. And with the festivities I got to it as soon as I could. Sorry for the wait!

Re: ďAnywhenĒ

Itís rather surreal to me, and I canít quite fully make sense of whatís going on. I assumed that was artistic choices and your intent. Itís a very different writing style than my own, so Iím not sure Iím the best one to give constructive criticism. Maybe someone more like-minded would be of more help. I would suggest improving the dialogue tags. They draw attention to themselves. Personally, I keep it simple with ďsaidĒ and ďaskedĒ and only upgrade if the situation really calls for it. Maybe you could remove a few tags a la Hemingway if theyíre not needed.

I like the idea of a one-man (or woman) adventure, like Alice in Wonderland. It might be hard to develop both main character and side kick equally. My only other advice is to add some clarity, unless itís supposed to be surreal and not make perfect sense.

Good luck with your writing, and thank you for sharing with me!




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TEENY_BIKINI
10/19/2013 11:57:06 AM

emoticon



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PROT358
10/18/2013 10:30:19 PM

Hi Geo! I'm sorry about the late reply. Yes, it is a Monet background on my page. Thanks for visiting, and I hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend!



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TEENY_BIKINI
10/4/2013 10:08:16 PM

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Rock on!



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