UPDATE 4/6/13:
After struggling with fertility issues due to extreme low body fat (unintentionally done!) and thus low estrogen, I started treatment through reproductive endocrinologists, which involved some very expensive hormone shots and a great deal of stress because omg-what-if-I-permanently-screwed-up-my-bo
dy-and-the-treatment-wouldn't-work???....

I am now pregnant! Prior to conception, I had managed to gain close to ten pounds back and was probably within a ...

UPDATE 4/6/13:
After struggling with fertility issues due to extreme low body fat (unintentionally done!) and thus low estrogen, I started treatment through reproductive endocrinologists, which involved some very expensive hormone shots and a great deal of stress because omg-what-if-I-permanently-screwed-up-my-bo
dy-and-the-treatment-wouldn't-work???....

I am now pregnant! Prior to conception, I had managed to gain close to ten pounds back and was probably within a decently healthy body fat range although I still didn't ovulate normally, but with the assistance of modern medicine, we were able to successfully get pregnant! WITH TWINS. (*Gulp*)

So from blogging about trying to lose weight, to trying to gain weight and exercise less, now I will be whining primarily about being pregnant, even though that's exactly what I wanted. :) But seriously, it's totally upending my previous healthy eating and exercise habits! It will take some getting used to, but obviously I will HAPPILY get used to these changes if it means I can have a healthy new family this fall. :)

Here's to health and the miracle of life! May you all enjoy the miracles of health and life in the ways you most aspire to!

UPDATE 6/27/12:
I hit my initial goal a couple months ago, but then kept losing while trying to figure out the right balance of calories and exercise. I think I might have crossed the line into being something of a compulsive exerciser in my fear of backsliding and regaining weight. I'm currently experiencing amenorrhea, my family says I'm too skinny, and doctors say I need to gain weight. A body fat analysis confirms this, but it's hard to adjust my thinking after spending so long trying to LOSE weight. My head is kind of messed up and kind of conflicted about everything. Rationally, I know I need to gain at least 5-7 pounds back, but it's a scary thing to contemplate - what if I go too far and gain too much weight back? I never thought hitting goal and entering maintenance would be such a horrible mind game, but I'm working on eating more/reducing my cardio to a healthier and more balanced level. I *will* find peace and balance. :)


Original bio:
I am a happily married woman in my late twenties who would like to get down to a healthier weight before starting a family. I'm also a very quiet, very private person; I have never willingly spoken to any of my family or friends about my weight loss, and if anyone does mention it, I get embarrassed to the point of tears and do my best to leave or change the subject. (I do thank them, but I try to move on ASAP.) I just can't talk about it. It's been a private struggle for me all my life. I can admit my problems to myself, but this problem is something I cannot acknowledge to anyone else (even though it's of course very obvious) because that would somehow make it more difficult to handle. I don't know why. I know that having the support of loved ones is supposed to help when you're trying to lose weight, but I simply do not want to involve anyone else in this. Not even my wonderful husband, who thank God has never once seemed concerned or turned off by the extra 100 pounds I'd been carrying around. (I think his rationale has been that as long as I was eating healthy enough and exercising - which I was - I was fine by him. He may have had some love-blinders on when it came to my healthiness, though.) So ANYWAYS. Now that my mental issues have been aired...I just need to use this space to celebrate my weight loss successes with myself, since I can't talk about it with anyone else. If you're reading this, I'm sorry my page isn't more exciting. But today, I really just need to celebrate a victory over here in this little corner of the internet. Thank you to Spark People for allowing me to create this space and to make use of as much or as little of the various parts of the site as I need. I don't do a whole lot with this site (though I'm becoming increasingly active because it's surprisingly motivating), but what I DO do really matters to me.

Read More About ILIKETOZUMBA (Updated April 6)

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