20,000-24,999 SparkPoints 20,332

I started at 195, but have yet to find a real before picture. This was about a month after I started



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Hey guys! My name is Jill. I'm 24 years old and 4' 11'' (and a quarter!), which means my goal weight is a ridiculously small number that hardly seems real. At 123-125 lbs I'll have a healthy BMI, so right now that's where I want to be.
I previously had lost about 35 pounds following Spark from January of 2011 until about May. After the semester ended I lost my momentum and stopped, but managed to lose another 5 pounds throughout the summer. Shortly after transferring colleges and moving from home I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in September of 2011. Although it was not incredibly life-threatening, it changed my entire life, forcing me to leave school and come home to deal with surgeries and treatments. After my life settled a bit I was able to get myself back on track and lose about 60 pounds overall by May 2012.
So the moral of the story is that I was only 15 pounds from my goal when I got too busy with work and school to take care of myself. Issues with my thyroid hormones, depression and anxiety, and the subsequent medications to treat depression and anxiety (Paxil is a bitch, I've never gained so much weight so quickly in my life) left me bigger than ever, topping out around 220-230 on my tiny frame. I was miserable but couldn't seem to find the motivation. I let myself believe that because the majority of the weight gain was from medical issues that I couldn't really fight it and I essentially gave up. I'm happy to say today (3/8/15) that I have been back on track since August of 2014 aside from a break around the holidays and am half-way to my preliminary goal! My goals are pretty simple, just count my calories everyday, aim for at least 10,000 steps, and try to get some exercise 3-5 days a week. I am a vegetarian (though I do occasionally eat some seafood), but other than meat I do not cut out any foods. I try to eat plenty of vegetables and make sure I get enough protein but I also eat chocolate just about everyday and if I really want something "bad" I have it.

I have NEVER been a healthy weight. Okay, maybe when I was like, 3. I have seriously been obese since the dawn of time. The thought that some day (perhaps even in the near future!) I might even be considered JUST overweight is so shocking and amazing I just about die whenever I think about it. (Happened! 3/15/12!!!) But lucky, I did not die. Unfortunately I've gained it all back and then some, but I'm still pushing for the day that it comes again and STAYS!

I have recently come up with about a MILLION goals, too many for the entire side panel to handle, so here they are:

1. Be able to jog a mile (then 3, and then 5, and maybe someday 10!).

2. Do (at least) 10 REAL push-ups.

3. Have a healthy BMI by Fall-Winter of 2015.

4. I want to pass that presidential fitness test they made us do in high school. I will literally go back to my high school and do the damn test. I am going to be able to hang from that stupid bar like all the other girls!

5. To go on walks and hikes, or even just up a few flights of stairs with my fit friends and not either slow them down, or have to talk the entire time to mask the sound of my heavy breathing (thus making me more exhausted).

6. I want to be able to have fun at the beach, not spend the whole time tugging my shorts and shirt down and feeling awkward and lame for being the only one not in a bathing suit.

7. I want to go to the gym with my friends and not be embarrassed about my weight, or how sweaty and red-faced I get.

8. I WANT TO WEAR CUTE SHORTS WHEN IT'S 90 DEGREES OUT. I am DONE with capris and bermudas!

9. I want to go out and actually have fun, not be self-conscious. Originally this goal was to get attention from guys but honestly I think if I had confidence and wasn't afraid to even make eye contact because I feel like I'm not worthy I could get attention now.

10. In addition to nine, I want to say yes when people ask me to get dressed up and go somewhere, because I absolutely know that I have something cute to wear, and that it WILL fit. I could even go dancing, because I wouldn't be afraid of looking like an idiot and sweating so much!

11. I want to see a freaking "S" on my shirt size for once in my life!

12. I want to never look at another plus size article of clothing ever again. Specifically, I don't ever want to see a huge looking pair of pants hanging on a rack in the store, and then look at the tag and realize I am TOO BIG to wear them.

13. I want to be able to wear light-colored pants and horizontal stripes!

14. I want to go out to eat and order a TON of food and eat it all (okay so maybe just like, once a year) and have people thinking "Where does she put it all?" instead of "Well that explains a lot."

15. I want to have one of those pairs of jeans that you've had "forever." I'm sick of having to toss out a favorite pair of jeans (and by favorite, I mean the only pair that not only fits, but doesn't look like it was made for a mom of 5 in 1982) every few months because the inner thigh has wore away.

17. I want to break into the extensive wardrobe I have. Currently my options are very limited but I have so much cute clothing from the last time around that I won't need to buy anything until I hit a size 8. I also have lots of nice jeans and tops I have purchased the past few months thinking I still wore that size, only to find out that the only reason I'm still in that size in my old clothes is because I've stretched them all out. Seriously, brand new clothes that are just my style for free, my room is like a mall.

18. I want to not have any more freaking goals, because I am just so damn perfect that there is nothing left to achieve!

19. Mainly, I want to like myself. I know this is something I need to work on now, because there's likely always going to be something I don't like about myself that I'll use as an excuse to not live my life. I want to have a positive self image and feel like I'm a good person that's worthy of being happy.

Member Since: 10/23/2009

Fitness Minutes: 26,203

My Goals:
Too many to for this little spot to handle, they're listed in my intro section!

My Program:
Currently I'm doing the C25K a few days a week and filling in the others with walking, kickboxing, dancing, the elliptical, yoga, the wii, and pretty much anything else that will keep me moving! I'm so excited for the nice weather so I can get out on the trails and start hiking again, and I'd really love to be able to run outside this summer. Once I'm in a little better shape I vow to go back to my old aerobics class, I've never had so much fun sweating my butt off.

Personal Information:
I love music and animals, reading and watching movies! Oh and bowling and ice skating and games...and cooking and gardening...and eating (well duh). There are very few things I dislike.

Other Information:
I would love to have a few people to hold me accountable (and vise versa) and chat with on a regular basis. I plan to be on virtually everyday, so send me a message or an email (jjoelynnn@yahoo.com).

Read More About JJOELYNNN - Profile Information moved here. (Updated April 20)

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 current weight: 188.0 
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