LOSING250
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today, 10/30/13




October 2013....I want to go from this....




...back to this as a first major goal. 06/2010


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I've done good with ups and downs...most ups on the scale and downs in my mood...this last weight loss go around....I would just love to end the cycle!

Hello everyone! I'm not quite 40 yet but with over 200# I'd like to lose, I may be when that happens. I'll be 38 this November. This isn't my first time out the weight loss gate. I'd like for it to be my last. I just ...like JUST...started back to eating healthier and counting my calories (via a non sparkpeople app) again on 8/16/15. I'm literally taking it one day/one week at a time. I'm a couple days from making it to two weeks of being healthier. I want to renew my gym membership that I cancelled last year when I just stopped going. I went for maybe two months and then just stopped. shortest gym stint. So I'm back to trying.

As I said above, I would like to lose over 200 pounds. between 2008-2010 I'd lost almost 100 pounds from what was until recently my heaviest weight ever. Now I'm making changes to lose 200 but realistically 100-150 from my new heaviest weight ever of 446.7+. I don't know if that is the highest because that is what it was at my last doctor's visit a couple months ago and my don't fit my electronic scale at home anymore (max weight is 400).

Personally, I have two children, 9 and 3, I'm a single mother and we live with my mother, unemployed former teacher, . . . . basically I'm "a mess" right now.

I decided that the undiagnosed sleep apnea, weak ASL in my left knee, constant swelling of my feet, certain weak organs, inability to do some physical activities and chores easily, and just overall dissatisfaction with my life that has been the cause of years of clinical depression...I've had enough. This is ridiculous. I keep trying, achieving, losing drive and motivation to continue, fail if failing means the weight gain happens again and brings some friends with it, so i try again, achieve again, etc etc etc. We all know the cycle. I need to survive.

I'd like to fit the clothes I just sorted through again today to see what to keep and what to donate out because it'll be months until I can fit any of them again so for now, they're taking up space.

I'd like to like what I see in the mirror again.

I'd like to fit in public transportation seats or restroom stalls without feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable (I drive but had to take public transpo for the first time in years yesterday....hrrrmmm).

I'd like to do a lot of things as a smaller sized woman...but i'd also like to do them as a physically fit woman who doesn't need to slow down, or have the searing, tight, literally almost vomit inducing back pain from a herniated disc and resulting sciatica that has me wondering if I need to apply for disability because my job options are limited due to the pain and limited lifting allowed.

I'd like to feel like I actually WANT to go outside and have fun. To be me again . . . if I every know who that person really was in the first place. To feel like if I wanted to date, the options I'd have would be .....options I wanted.

But most importantly...I'd like to survive past 56. Why 56? My dad died of a heart attack at 56, ten days before his 57th birthday almost 20 years ago. 20 years...wow. With depression, I have to ignore that lil voice in my head that suggests otherwise because there are actually people who depend on me and would miss me if I were gone. And overall I'd just have to be pretty PISSED in the hereafter knowing I died because of something caused by my morbid obesity.

soooooo, yeah, it's late, here in the Central Time Zone so I will stop ranting!

I'm going to try and stick it out. Post on my sparkpage more often...maybe blog....and in the teams I've joined. I look forward to helping and being helped or just being a listening ...well. eye in this case :). Good luck to us all and God Bless! thanks for reading to the end!


Member Since: 8/13/2010

Fitness Minutes: 896

My Goals:
1. 8/31/15 : Lose another 15 pounds.
2. Lose 50 pounds
3. Lose 100 pounds


My Program:
Following good old fashioned common knowledge. Cooking more of what I eat, watching how many calories I'm eating, trying to watch my fat and starch intake, and getting in some cardio and weight training at least 3 times a week.



Personal Information:
I'm from Chicago, IL, USA.

I have been overweight (briefly) then obese (mostly) my entire life. I am just hoping to reach my goal weight and physical appearance and live to enjoy it for a good number of years.


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 current weight: 431.0 
 
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