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I left Sparkpeople around July two years ago. I'm not sure what happened, other than the fact that lack of air conditioning and a particularly hot and hectic summer sabotaged my weight-loss goals. I'd lost twenty pounds (which was amazing for me!) and not only have I gained that back, but probably another fifty to go along with it.

In the last few weeks, I've realized that perhaps the most important thing that I can do is to take responsibility for my weight, for my lifestyle, and to be honest with myself and with others about how I feel and what all of this is doing to me.

It's time to accept that it's okay to cry. That it's okay to feel fat. That it's okay to notice when people are looking at me, or to feel awkward eating out and ordering a salad and knowing that people are probably expecting me to eat a whole lot more than I typically do (particularly when I'm in public. It's time to accept my food cravings and obey them (since these days those cravings generally involve foods that are green and not foods that are high in fat and calories).

Even when I was here before, I was in denial. I was working on my self-esteem rather than on my body. Nothing wrong with that, except that my attitude toward the situation was wrong. My weight has less to do with my self-esteem and more to do with bad habits. I hide on the Internet. I don't let people see my real body because I'm afraid of what they'll think. And most people like me for the person I am, not for the way that I look. It's time for me to get real with myself.

And it's time for me to get over it and start working on improving my situation for the better. It's time to start blogging daily again, to monitor what I'm eating, to work out more, and to get enough sleep. It's time to work on these things, to work on myself. It's about loving myself enough to give myself a body that is healthy and that I can live with.

For me, at this point in my life, this is about gaining health and not about losing weight. I can do this. I have to do this. Not doing it is killing me.

Wish me luck.

Member Since: 10/22/2010

Fitness Minutes: 111

My Goals:
Drink 6 bottles of water a day.
Take 2 walks with the dog a day (longer and longer).
Go hiking.
Ride a bike.
Ride a roller coaster.
Go dancing.

My Program:
Hula Hooping for Exercise

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Read More About MYMIRACLE30 - Profile Information moved here. (Updated June 21)

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  • v LADYBUG4869
    emoticon HAPPY THURSDAY!! Have an amazing day!
    1621 days ago
    What a great blog, my prayers are with you.
    The ole Farmer Skeeter emoticon
    1765 days ago
  • v CATHRINE2010
    I just wanted to give you a redneck Hollar! Wishing you a great day!
    1806 days ago
    ./_\.Sending a guardian angel to
    bless you on this beautiful day!

    ./_\. May this angel watch over you
    and guide you to make healthy choices!

    2172 days ago
    emoticon In case you are wondering…shortly after the beginning of 2012 I made a commitment to myself to check in on Spark Friends at least once a week…it may be a goodie, or a comment on your page, blog, or feed. I try to make it more than just liking a comment. While any reciprocation of support is greatly appreciated please do not feel pressure. I just decided that it is the quality of the friendships in my life not the quantity that makes me so blessed. emoticon
    emoticon If you are on a team or teams with me and I spot in a huddle that you are needing support or there is a message to visit your page I am trying to be there. If you ever need extra support please feel free to give me a personal shout out. emoticon
    emoticon This being said, I have decided that the week after Easter I will be releasing friends who are no longer active on SP, I am setting the arbitrary level at 90 days inactivity. If you return to SP after that time I would love for you to add me back. It is not a decision to reject people it is a time management decision. emoticon
    emoticon I am finding that Spark People is bringing out the encourager and the pray-er in me, and as a result I am much more encouraged. Hope you have a blessed week and that you are still making a difference in your journey. LYMI emoticon

    2240 days ago
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