NANCYANNE55   85,144
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints
05-24-14 All dolled up for my daughter's Band Banquet.

44th BDay. My Size-6 goal look. 9 Nov 2010

Me on the left. I believe a rare photo of me at my heaviest-197lbs. (I used to run from the camera!)

I have 50 pics in my gallery


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Has Anyone Seen My Focus?

I had a whole, big page full of inspiration and "You can do it!" type stuff on here, but the truth is that I have felt like a hypocrite every time someone sends me a message saying I am an inspiration.

Life sent me for a tumble and I have done a positively crummy job of responding to and bouncing back from it.

In 2012 a lot of really bad things happened within about a 6 month period. I mean, mind-numbingly bad stuff that left me reeling. I won't go into specifics, ...
I had a whole, big page full of inspiration and "You can do it!" type stuff on here, but the truth is that I have felt like a hypocrite every time someone sends me a message saying I am an inspiration.

Life sent me for a tumble and I have done a positively crummy job of responding to and bouncing back from it.

In 2012 a lot of really bad things happened within about a 6 month period. I mean, mind-numbingly bad stuff that left me reeling. I won't go into specifics, but trust me: The junk that happened was serious business.

But of all the crap that went on that year, there is one specific event that left my whole family wounded. I am not at liberty to talk about publicly (nothing illegal, so don't go there!), so I can't go into specifics. But therein lies my issue: This very inability to "talk it out" is what, I believe, ultimately led me on my downhill slide.

See, I've always been an emotional eater. And one of my strategies in losing the weight I'd was to communicate publicly about what was eating me. It seemed to not only help me, but help others in similar situations. Kinda a win-win. To suddenly be required to be less than transparent about something that was eating me up inside was simply NOT good for my weigh-maintenance mojo. Or my emotional state, for that matter. Being secretive has never been in my nature. I feel like a phoney when I can't be up-front about the big issues in my life.

I tried going to the gym. I really did. And thank goodness this whole time I have continued to work out. But it wasn't filling in the hole in my soul the way that spilling my guts does.

And yes, I tried going to a counselor. Two, actually. One seemed to not know what to do with the fact that I couldn't stop crying when I talked about what had been going on, and the other kept telling me how great I look in a creepy kind of way. Not cool.

So I walked away from the counseling strategy feeling even worse than before I started.

I also tried talking to friends, but after a while they stop asking how you are and move on with their lives. It's natural. And I don't want to be Negative Nancy, crying all the time.

So I sucked it up.

And chewed it up.

And swallowed it.

And in the process I managed to eat my way though the pain, gaining about half of the weight I worked so hard to get off right back. It took two years to gain it back, but there is no denying that I'm fatter than I should be!

And here I am, trying to figure out how to get my mojo back.

None of the stuff that motivated me to lose fat before seems to motivate me now. My whole life perspective has changed based on what happened back in 2012. I'm really struggling.

And because I have gained this weight back, I feel like a hypocrite proclaiming that I am a Personal Trainer and Health Coach, both of which I hold certifications for. I've even pulled back from training people because of it.

I'm really stuck.

And I'm still really sad.

And yes, I know I have allowed all of this to become an excuse. I kick myself for it every day. And I know I need to stop kicking myself for it. So then I feel guilty for kicking myself for it, which leads to further kicking.......... Round and round I go.

So there you are...... The honest truth. It actually feels good to put it out there. What I had up here before felt like such a lie: I hate lies and secrets. I do better when it's all out on the table. So maybe me spilling my guts here on my Spark Page will somehow help me to move ahead and get my focus back.

My Focus........ I know it's around here somewhere........ I dropped it....... I just gotta find it again.........
Read More About NANCYANNE55 (Updated July 30)

Current Status:
NANCYANNE55 Yesterday when training the Marching band we got interupted by a football coach and kicked out of the gym 12 minutes into a 20 minute circuit routine. Rude, and I felt really bad for the kids. Said c
set 13 hours ago



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 Pounds lost: 24.8 

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Member Since: 6/1/2007

SparkPoints: 85,144

Fitness Minutes: 94,827

My Goals:
My overall goal is to take care of this body God has entrusted me with.

Most motivating goal: Keep my family history of diabetes and heart disease at bay. My best chance to be around for kids & grand-kids is to be as lean as possible.

At 5'9", get consistently into a size 6 while putting on oodles of leg muscle!

Keep the reactive hypoglycemia I have when I am heavier at bay.

If God does decide to take me early, have my organs in excellent shape so they can save/extend the lives of others. What better way to leave than helping someone else stay?

My Program:
Current program:
As of 07/29/2014 I am doing the Weight Watchers program (again). And secretly, I'm wishing some very experienced Health Coach would come up beside me and volunteer to take me under their wing. But isn't that what we all want?

For workouts I have a coach here locally who makes my programs. We're not so focused on big muscle gains as we are safely progressing. I had several injuries earlier this year that I am just starting to move past. We don't want to aggravate them.

I stretch thoroughly after every workout- Have for years. It's an important part of fitness!

Personal Information:
I am certified as both a Personal Trainer and a Health Coach through the American Council on Exercise (ACE).

I live in Wichita Falls, Texas, but am originally from the SF Bay Area. In my adult life I have lived in Illinois, Southern California, Hampton Roads Virginia, Panama City Florida, Louisville Kentucky, Marion Ohio, and here in Texas.

We have a total of seven kids, four of which emerged from my body and three from the body of my ex-wife-in-law. :-) Only one lives at home full time still. We also have two beautiful grandchildren.

I enjoy all sorts of boring domestic stuff, but I also have a bit of a daredevil streak in me and like to try new things.

Other Information:
These have become my own original catch-phrases:
- "The shame is not in falling down. The shame is in not getting back up."
- "Any exercise is better than no exercise."
- "Do the Right thing, even when it's not easy."
- "Do what scares you! "
- "You can't know what you don't know"
- "If you do positive things to your body, your body can't help but respond positively."
- "An obstacle isn't a road block- it's simply something to either be climbed over or navigated around."

Favorite quote NOT by me:
- "You gotta put your behind in the past." (Pumba to Timon in The Lion King)

Favorite Bible Verse:
- "There is no temptation you are faced with that others haven't also faced. But God, who is faithful, will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can stand and will give you a way to escape the temptation so that you will be able to handle it." 1st Corinthians 10:13 NNAV [New Nancy Anne Version ;-)]

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Member Comments:
7/30/2014 2:02:37 PM

emoticon sweet friend!! YOU have always motivated me!!

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7/29/2014 1:45:59 PM

I think you should go back to training clients. Helping them might help you and you might gain some new insights. I love reading everything you have to share. I think you are refreshingly honest, we've all been there.

I read a quote and I try to live by it: "We teach best what me most need to know". You've learned a lot through your success and your mistakes. Why not pay it forward. Take what you do know to help you figure out your weaknesses.

Chin up, you'll find your mojo. Maybe you need to set a goal to have something to excite you and have something to work towards...

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7/29/2014 10:20:47 AM

Love the update on your page. I'm sorry for all you have gone through and that you are still struggling. JMO but calling yourself a trainer and health coach is not being a hypocrite. You are human and honestly I think sharing your struggles would make your clients relate to you all the more, and God can really use you in that role. Praying for you. I understand being an emotional eater, I'm one too and it's gotten worse in the last year due to tough circumstances. But we'll get through this somehow. emoticon

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7/28/2014 7:42:46 PM

Nice update...tough & raw, but sounds like you're zeroing in on the root of things.

Good luck, keep at it, stay strong, and keep posting updates!

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7/28/2014 6:33:20 PM

Love the page update. Self-awareness is huge and you're on the right track. Call me anytime.

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