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OHANAMAMA is a SparkPeople Motivator!

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I'm close to my 10 year spark-anniversary! During my years here I have had great success and not so great. I've lost a LOT of weight in total, BUT the problem is, it's a lose/gain, lose/gain scenario. A terrible roller coaster to be on, and right now I'm sitting on a high point again. So here I go, working to lose those pounds again, and hopefully finally reach my ultimate goal weight, and then KEEP IT OFF!

I joined SP in 2007, lost 57 lbs over the next 8 or so months. (235 to 178) Gained back some, but held it there (185 to 190) for about a year. Started gaining it all back in 2009. By 2010, had gained all back plus more. (typical) (244)
2011- finally working again to get it back off, tried WW which worked, (lost 16 lbs) but i didn't stick to it (gained back 13), I've decided to go back to low carb. That worked best for me in the past that's the plan that I stuck with the longest and lost the most weight on and felt my best. Starting again at 241.
Aug 2011 - well, I lost 10 lbs and then fizzled again. **sigh** I am so glad I can start over and over and over and... eventually I will win this.
January 2012 - Oh. My. Gosh. I weighed in on the 1st. I weighed 248.5 lbs. I have never weighed that much before. Time to do things differently. No particular diet, no particular exercise, just consistency. I MUST succeed this year. A year to lose 100 lbs.
1/12/12 - down 5.5 so far!
1/31/12 - lost a total of 8.5 in January! Woot!!
2/19/12 - I lost my grandmother today.
2/21/12 - February has been a month of stress, anxiety, and sorrow.
3/1/12 - up 2.5 lbs for the month of Feb. :/
3/11/12 - 242.0
3/12/12 - I am now a Casual Traveler on the 5% Spring Challenge!
3/17/12 - down to 236.5!
3/21/12 - 5 years sparking!
3/24/12 - back up to 243 - how depressing.
3/24/12 - in the Casual Traveler's Spotlight! Awesome! That's uplifting!
3/29/12 - about 6 lbs net loss for March.
4/1/12 - I had a terrific dieting week. Weighed this morning at 233.5!
4/20/12 - after that, I had a BAD week... and then another good week... and I'm finally BACK to 233.5
4/24/12 - if I don't get hold of myself right away... I'm going to be 250!!! CONTROL it Renee'!!!
5/20/12 - not even trying hardly any more... weight is back up to 242.5 as of yesterday morning. I have GOT to get myself under control! Starting today.
5/24/12 - Just read through all my SP History... what a tragic number of failed attempts at losing weight. It's going on three years now of "trying this, lost a bit, fizzled out, gained again..." over and over and over. How boring to read and how depressing and embarrassing to be living it.
6/18 to 6/21 - trip to Washington DC. Fat as ever... but had a terrific time with M and D.
6/23/12 - Happy 26th Anniversary to me and my hubs. :)
8/2012 - Depressed. :/
9/7/12 - Ever said something that got less than a mediocre response... then later someone else says the same thing and gets a standing ovation... makes me wonder what's wrong with me...
9/22/12 - Happy Fall. So ready for Autumn.
9/29/12 - I found renewed focus again. See, I told you I never give up. I have a plan... and it all starts Monday, October 1st.
10/1/12 - 248.5 - I am exactly where I was on Jan 1st this year. I have accomplished nothing thus far, but I have 3 months left... ideally I could lose 30 lbs... and that still won't get me under 200 by the New Year. bummer... but I will be a helluva lot closer. today is another Day 1... and I hope the last.
10/6/12 - 245.5 today. Today is day 1 of the 5% Challenge
11/6/12 - started another challenge today. 248.5
11/8/12 - 243.5 water weight is going... having to fight my inner demon... but hanging in there.
11/29/12 - totally fizzled out. I hate one good week then 3 bad weeks each month... but that seems to be the way I roll. Just realized that I ended November at 244. That's 4.5 lbs lost. Not goal, but better than I realized. :) Next goal: 239 by 1/1/13
12/25/12 - I got a Fitbit ONE for Christmas from my hubs. It's a tiny little thing, but I'm looking forward to using it all the time! Logged weight for Christmas Day: 248. ugh.
January 1, 2013 - I am feeling great about this new year! Hopeful and full of plans! 247.5
"The past is behind me. I'll look back on occassion just to remember what I've learned... but I will not dwell there, I am moving forward!" ~Me
1/20/13 have been reading the Gabriel Method. It's making sense.
1/21/13 - Annette Larkins. Wow. Raw. I wanna go raw, but that will be one of the biggest challenges i ever imposed on myself.
1/24/13 - 241.5
3/2/13 - 237
4/5/13 - still 237 still eating too much. Not enough good days in a row, still not exercising.
Aug.2013: 208, been doing pretty good!
1/1/2014: back up to 226.5
5/28/14: 199 ONEDERLAND!!
7/26/14: 195 I have lost 57 lbs since Nov.2012
8/22/14: gained a lot back, not weighing, very stressful time.
Sept 2014: diagnosed with depression, started taking Celexa.
10/18/14: still very stressed. I've gained it all back plus a lot more in such a short time.
January 2015 - don't want to take Celexa any more, started weaning myself off.
Aug 2014 through Summer 2016 - didn't really try, didn't give a crap, completely let myself go. up to 272.5. will it end?
My mind is a mess.
I get lost within myself.
No one really knows. ~ Me
I often feel quite broken, sometimes shattered and each time I'm mended a bit, I feel some pieces are missing. ~Me
March or April (ish) 2016 - saw the doc for irritated eyes issue, found out I have high (ish) blood pressure, don't remember weigh in exactly... somewhere in the 260's. Doc put me on diuretics. Took these for a couple months, then stopped.
July 2016 is when I hit 272.5, started trying to at least care and eat less.
October 2016 I got very sick, ended up in emergency room. Had acute bronchitis, bronchial spasms, muscle spasms and the visit also revealed VERY high blood pressure, I have got to get my crap together.
11/18/16 doctor visit (new doc) - 259 - blood pressure still VERY high, put on meds for blood pressure and depression. She recommended 1800 calories a day and walking and wants me to take Calcium+D.
12/13/16 doctor visit - 254 - blood pressure better, lost 5 lbs, also found out I have very high triglycerides, got a med for that. Next doc appt March 17th.
1/1/17 - 256
1/8/17 - 251
1/14/17 - 249 Starting weight for Winter 5% Challenge

Member Since: 3/21/2007

Fitness Minutes: 19,466

My Goals:
Goal weight - to weigh 156, which is the upper end of my BMI range which is 118 to 158
2017 - to make progress towards that goal weight by losing an average of one pound per week this year.
Winter 5% Challenge goal - 236.5

My Program:
Low carb/Paleo, drinking lots of water, and daily activity.
Perhaps walking on my treadmill again, or start dancing every day again, be it Samba Reggae, Zumba, or just going crazy to Led Zeppelin or Fall Out Boy :)

Personal Information:
Aloha! I'm Renee'. 51, married 30.5 years with 4 kids ages 16 to 25, 3 dogs, 9 cats, 1 bird &1 big fish tank. I have Depression and Anxiety which is a constant mental battle every day. I also have high blood pressure & high triglycerides, of which I just found out about a few months ago, never had a problem before. My plan is to fix the ones I can this year. Med free by 2018!! :)

Other Information:
I love to watch horror movies and those pretaining to ghosts, demons, spirits and witches are my favorites. I also love the old Universal Horror movies such as Dracula, Bride of Frankenstein, The Wolf Man and others.
I love books. All kinds of books. Especially horror books, self-help books, art books, journals and notebooks.
I love music, Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac, Fall Out Boy, & My Chemical Romance are a few of my favorite bands, and when I can afford it, I love to attend concerts. The most recent concerts I've been to are Motley Crue with Alice Cooper and Fleetwood Mac. I've seen and met Fall Out Boy twice. :)
And I love water... rain and thunderstorms, snow, the ocean and beaches, and ice water to drink.
I'd like to say I'm an artist, at least I used to be. Years ago I got pretty good at drawing and painting and even worked on poetry and stories. Depression robbed a lot of that. I'm determined to reclaim it all, plus some.

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