Q "Do you think that there's a personality change between 'fat you' and 'skinny you'? Forgive the nomenclature. Have your friendships changed since you hit your goal and maintenance of your new happier healthier You and Lifestyle? Can you compare that to fires?"
Hey P --- Hmmm good question! It's a double edged one because I am still the same person, just with more confidence in some arenas...and in other arenas, I still hold those old insecurities, except they are quieter in my head, and tend not to manifest as often unless sparked by memories of the past (think PTSD)...the main goal is to work through them and learn how to make reactions less..i.e. binge eating because of emotions or stress - pretty non existent for me now.
My BFF for 20 years has never seen me as heavy because she always saw me as ...me. I wasn't associated with weight in her eyes. She saw me as I am now...and when she describes me to someone from then to now, it's always been the same. So from another person's point of view of my outward personality, I guess I am not any different at my core HOWEVER...I still view myself as heavy, shy, and unattractive in my head from time to time...which she always calls me out on. I never walk into a room thinking that I am "hot" ...but quite the opposite, as if I'm still invisible. My husband has also been with me through "thick and thin" (yes, the pun is intended LOL) - and I him...and we are still the same in our core beliefs and feelings...or else, really, we would probably not still be together if anything changed that dramatically.
For some people though, the story is different...they do change, and I have seen people split up because issues were not tended to, because jealousy creeps in, because their life view changed while the other stays the same, because one person's support was not as true as it really was. The problem of out-growing a relationship because the fire wasn't tended to by one person or another. It happens. It also happens that to be healthy, toxic and negative relationships are pretty destructive to people's efforts, and they have to eventually be addressed one way or another. How is another discussion entirely.
As for current friendships....I have always had a few core ones, and those remain. Making new friends is easier because I'm less self-conscious, but I'm quick to recognize negative or toxic ones and release them quickly back into the sea from whence they came. Maybe it's an age thing rather than a being thinner thing! LoL
I hope it answered the question...it's definitely a good one!!
As for why the hang-up you spoke of?? you might be surprised that even with the weight off....certain issues might still be there. If it's fear of completely changing into a different person? have faith in your core beliefs and your goodness as a person...that won't change as long as you don't let it. As the song goes....stay humble and kind.
PS - Sorry it's so long!! And I figured to answer here because you never know who might read it and get something out of it! :) 24 days ago
Thank you for your comment on my page. I look forward to getting to know you too. (I think we have already added each other as friends, so we are good to go. We can do this thing called life, health, and fitness..............together. 46 days ago