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Diary of a recovering fat girl.
Hi, My name is Meghan- I joined Sparkpeople in 2010, and I used to be a fat girl. I have been living my "skinny" life for four years now- finally free of the "obese" tag that has plagued me since I was a teen. If this seems like a support group meeting, yeah, it's kinda like that. Sparkpeople is a support group for people like us, who are trying to no longer be fat, because it is much easier to go it in a group than go it alone. You'll notice by my posts that I'm a very blunt, open and honest ...
Hi, My name is Meghan- I joined Sparkpeople in 2010, and I used to be a fat girl. I have been living my "skinny" life for four years now- finally free of the "obese" tag that has plagued me since I was a teen. If this seems like a support group meeting, yeah, it's kinda like that. Sparkpeople is a support group for people like us, who are trying to no longer be fat, because it is much easier to go it in a group than go it alone. You'll notice by my posts that I'm a very blunt, open and honest person, and I swear like a truck driver. But at least with me, you will always know where you stand. This is my story. Hold on for the ride.
I started my journey in September of 2010 weighing in at over 250 pounds (BMI of 42.9), and in the first year at it, I lost 100 pounds. I have maintained for 4 years and am back to SparkPeople for the final leg of my journey- getting from the 150's to 125. My goal is to be half of my original size- 125 pounds and a BMI of 21.5. Sounds extreme, but it is healthy and do-able.
I've been a "bigger" girl since puberty. I guess it does weird things to some people. For me, my hair changed color from straight and blond to wavy and brown, and Instead of growing boobs like everyone else, I got boobs and fat. Even though I hated how I looked, I was fairly unmotivated to change my lifestyle. I stayed the same way through college. I was a good student, did extracurricular activities, but I never exercised. I blame laziness. I'm not afraid to admit that anymore. I was a really lazy kid and I ate like crap.
At my job as an Emergency Medical Technician, I sit for 12 hours a day- 4 days a week, in an ambulance. A lot of fast food, junk food, soda, starbucks, eating on the run, not getting a full 8 hours of sleep. Sometimes we go days without sleeping, and the hours of sitting are broken up by moments of intense stress. I developed what we in the field commonly refer to as "ambulance ass". Despite the escalation of calories, I still never worked out. Laziness is a factor here yet again. (note the trend)
Then, while working in August 2009, I was taken out of commission by a knee injury that required surgery and a long recovery. I rapidly gained weight being immobilized. (again, eating crap, and now not moving AT ALL.) I sat on my couch all day, every day for nine months. Before I knew it I was up to 250 pounds. I refused to look at a scale for a long time, so that number may actually be much higher (during my sweat-pants phase of 2010 i believe I was closer to 270, but I have no physical record to say that). It hurt to look at myself. I avoided pictures like the plague. I stopped going out in public. I distanced myself from friends. I stopped riding my horses, which until now was my only outlet for stress. I hid in my house. I was very unhappy.
After I had surgery in January and did rehabilitation for a few months, I was cleared to work and start exercising in July of 2010. The doctor recommended I lose weight so i could avoid re-injuring my knee. I knew I was fat, but I didn't think I was that bad. I went back to work and to my dismay, my uniforms no longer fit. I couldn't zip up my boots all the way and my belt was too small. I had to borrow a larger jacket. I actually broke a belt trying to get it to fit. I realized at that point, I maybe needed to make a change, but I again chose laziness and didn't do anything about it.
Then a friend of mine showed me a picture she has taken of me over the summer, with my horse. I was appalled. That picture made me face the facts. Not only was I unhealthy, I was morbidly obese. I was 1/4 of the weight of the horse and I couldn't hide it anymore. The time to do something about it was now. I was almost 26 years old, and I knew that I wouldn't make it to 36 if I kept going down the path I was going down. All these dreams I wanted to accomplish, would be impossible without making a change.
So I made a change, or rather several little ones. I started exercising daily, riding my bike home from work, hiking, riding my horses more often and watching what I eat. I got off the damn couch. I joined a gym that I have friends at, so I would be more inclined to go. I tried to get out and do things more often. The more I did, the more I want to do, and the more weight that came off. The more success I had, the more I wanted to get out and do things. I wanted to eat right. I wasn't afraid of the scale anymore. I wanted to work out, ride the horses, go hiking and camping, get out and see the world! I wanted to find that skinny girl inside of me, and let her out! And slowly the weight came off. I was able to lose over 100 pounds in a little less than a year- of hard work and dedication to the cause. That's all it was. No gimmicks, no crash diets- just an overall lifestyle overhaul. Parking further away from the store in the lot, walking the dog. Little things that all added up.
IF I COULD DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT TOO.
I get emails all the time asking for advice, or what the "secret" is. So here it is: The secret my friends, is not holding on to the false hope that there is some easy miracle right around the corner that will turn you into a skinnier version of yourself. No miracle pill. No cureall. The secret really is getting off your ass, eating less and moving more. It isn't going to be easy. I didn't want to hear that. I still don't want to hear it, but it is the truth. Get off the couch, and onto the treadmill. It's going to hurt. It's going to suck. You're going to think you are going to die from moving and sweating. There will be days you work out and wake up the next day feeling like you've been run over by a damn truck. The trick is, to not let it discourage you. Get back on that treadmill, that bike, that elliptical- do it til you think you can't do it anymore, and then do it a little more. Lift those weights in whatever fashion you can. You're not going to look sexy or feel sexy doing it, but do it anyway. I'm not a sugar coater, I've never been. I'm blunt. But sometimes people need blunt. Hell I still need blunt. Sometimes I need to hear my mom say "honey, put down the donut" to realize I don't need a damn donut. (I really like the little buggers though, *sigh*) Losing those 100 pounds was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It broke me down, both physically and emotionally, but I built myself back up, and am better person for it.
Now this is the thing I never was warned about, so I feel the need to warn those starting out: I lost several friendships and ended long term relationship during my weight loss. Not everyone embraces change.
People chose to walk out of my life because, simply put, they were jealous of my success- and wicked jealous, at that- mostly women friends. Girls as a whole do seem to get pissed when you aren't the token "fat friend" anymore. Or because you are succeeding in your weight loss and they aren't. I didn't expect this to happen at all, but it did- and it caught me completely off guard. Being blindsided by friends who become super passive aggressive at you sucks. Just be prepared for people to leave, but know that if they do- they weren't all that good of 'friends' to begin with. You deserve friends that love and support you no matter what. Talk to your girlfriends about your goals, involve them in the process, and if they seem toxic or less than enthusiastic to help you out or support you- (this is harsh but) CUT THEM OUT. You'll be better for it, without having the nay-sayers and you-can't er's around. Be the you that YOU want to be. Not the you that THEY want you to be. Only you can truly make yourself happy. The lesson I was taught is to never ever give up on your dreams, even if others want you to. Let the haters hate.
The relationship ended because as I lost weight, I became more confident in myself and realized I was being treated atrociously. This was actually a refreshingly welcome change. I couldn't take being walked on, put down or lied to anymore. I'm not that weak girl you can bully around and cheat on because I can't do better. I can do better. And guess what, I did! In rebuilding my support system, I actually ended up starting a romantic relationship with a friend of mine (who took all of a day to ask me out for coffee once I was newly single, lol). We have now been happily dating for over three years and will be getting married Dec 2015. He is very supportive of my continued weight loss and is very good to me. I am very excited for the future, and I have never ever been more happy. My life, in all senses, began again at 27. I started everything over- And I wouldn't trade a minute.
It's never too late to be what you might have been!
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| current weight: 168.2
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Member Since: 10/6/2010
Fitness Minutes: 15,170
Goal: 125, half original weight by 9/11/2016
No Longer Morbidly Obese
No Longer Obese
No Longer Overweight
100 Pounds Down
Diet consists mainly of Fruits, Veggies and Protein. I'm a chicken/fish/boiled egg fiend.
30 minutes of cardio, at least 6 days per week.
Hiking once per week, at least 4 miles.
I take extra steps daily, even if I don't have to.
No cutting corners, or taking short cuts on walks.
I'm a 31 year old female who is 5'4". I live in California on a ranch with the love of my life. I'm an EMT who also runs a soapmaking business. In my spare time I enjoy hiking and riding my horses.
It's simple. Eat less. Move more. Anything you can dream you can do.