ROSALIEESTHER   101,329
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That's me on the left in 2007. Boy have I changed. I'm hoping to get back to that some day . . .





Long ago (2007) I was thin and fit and it felt so good.Hope seeing this helps me get back in shape.








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This Is It!

I woke up one morning and I was fat!!!! How could that have happened? It was terrifying. I was Twice the weight that I'm supposed to be!!! Almost equally awful was realizing that I was so completely without a clue. Scary.

It's so embarrassing. I was in such incredibly great shape 3 years ago, but as my mother's health went down, my weight went up.

I am married to a wonderful man - we've been together for 29 years. We still are crazy in love with one another. ...
I woke up one morning and I was fat!!!! How could that have happened? It was terrifying. I was Twice the weight that I'm supposed to be!!! Almost equally awful was realizing that I was so completely without a clue. Scary.

It's so embarrassing. I was in such incredibly great shape 3 years ago, but as my mother's health went down, my weight went up.

I am married to a wonderful man - we've been together for 29 years. We still are crazy in love with one another. We couldn't have kids, but we've had a lot of cats. Right now we just have one who was about 8 years old when she moved in. We're still in the bonding stage and getting closer every day.

In 2009 my mother died in terrible pain. It was the most horrific experience of my life. My sister and I could tell that the medical establishment just didn't want to try to help her because she was old in their opinion. She was 89 and more vital and alive than anyone else I've ever known. She was not ready to sure and could have ben helped. I miss my mother and my father and feel that a huge part of me is gone for good now. But the way my mother died, and our inability to help her haunts me. I've had some wonderful therapy inthe form of EMDR. I urge anyone suffering from PTSD to get EMDR Many therapists are qualified now because it is so successful with returning vets. Also Sparkpeople has helped me come back to feeling that I have a reason to go on. I've been amazed by how much support this site gives.

My husband and I moved from California to Illinois to live in my parents' house for a while as we sift through the many wonderful things they left for my sister and me. They were very rare, creative, and productive people. I feel close to them here. I learn from them ever day. I am so lucky to have so many reminders of thm: philosophical cartoons/paintings by my father (he told me one that he did one every day as a form of meditation), letters, research, books and collections. It's a lot of work to go through these things. We take our time.

I know that grief caused my huge and sudden weight gain.

I am so very lucky. I am surrounded with love. I want to get in touch with my happiness my true self as I journey to my true weight.
Read More About ROSALIEESTHER (Updated February 11)




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Member Since: 6/8/2011

SparkPoints: 101,329

Fitness Minutes: 67,087

My Goals:
Just saw this quote by Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe, the star of Precious (2009) and I'd like to feel this way about myself:

"I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don't like myself, there's no reason to even live the life. I love the way I look. I'm fine with it. And if my body changes, I'll be fine with that."

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Member Comments:
TARHEEL9
9/18/2014 9:32:03 PM

Im about an hour east of chapel hill in johnston county im just a big fan of UNC im part of the tarheel nation lol nice to meet you emoticon



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KIMPAINTS
9/14/2014 5:11:54 PM

Rosa nice to see you too…I haven’t been taking time to spark..Life has been full and fulfilling of late..I have let myself go…But I am happy as ever!! We have been spending most of our time this spring-summer on the Salmon River..Rugged country with unbound beauty…If ever you are in our neck of the woods we would love to show you around…

Spark has a new format…hummmm…I loved the old way..Where is the huddle?? I will have to make some time to spark..

Think of you often!! Hope all is well in your world!! Big big hug!!! emoticon



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SMILES4383
9/10/2014 4:33:46 PM

Thanks for visiting my page ~
We are striving to be our very emoticon



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MJLUVSANIMALS
9/4/2014 5:18:07 PM

Now I recognize the names, I got his soups from Amazon. His tortilla soup is amazing. I kind of looked over what he wants you to eat, and it's odd how opposite it is from raw? There are so many choices out there. I generally don't like to follow a plan or regimen. I have given up all dairy, breads, pastas, red meat (haven't eaten it in forever) sugars in any form except for raw honey, and I limit that daily. I love my grains oatmeal, and quinoa and brown rice. I also don't do processed foods. I try to stay within the organic route, but it's way expensive. I would prefer to grow my own, but we are experiencing drought conditions here in California. So I am limited to hand watering and pot growing herbs or tomatoes.

Right now I am eating a huge salad with everything in it. All topped with macadamia cream dressing. I have yet to become hungry, at times I have to push myself to eat. But keep in mind I was already 3/4 there, with how I eat, and stepping into raw isn't so bad. I just don't cook my food, and I don't eat any form of meat. I just have to load up on more veges and less nuts and seeds because of the fat. Work in progress!! lol




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MJLUVSANIMALS
9/4/2014 4:09:21 PM

I am only going to do the raw for the 30 days. I don't think I could hack it for any longer than that. I have been following the clean eating path since March of 2013. I am trying so hard not to have to take medications for diabetes 2. And I figure best way is eating healthy. I cannot fall back into enemy food territory, or I will wig! So my best bet is to stick with eating clean plan. I am doing the 30 day to see how it helps with lowering my numbers A1C, and glucose, etc. If I resume eating meat, it may just only be fish. Can't say yet, what I will do. What is the McDouggaler plan? And how did you gain weight on the raw diet?

Comment edited on: 9/4/2014 4:10:15 PM

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