Keith and I walking a path by Utah Lake. Keith used to be as tall as I. Married 32 yrs. '05?
Provo Canyon, Where Bridal Veil Falls is. Such beauty, Such Peace...
SHERRY528 is a SparkPeople Motivator!
...and I wonder what gifts I'll engage for my life?---Hope-Giving-Love---even for me......figuring out WHAT I REALLY WANT for Christmas---I want to know where my ship is heading-not just drifting...I've done that too long-I want to go back to the wonderful success I had......
With the Start of Fall, I also want to see that scale FALL!
It's time for a NEW DAY! A NEW SEASON! A NEW LIFE...
I lost 165 lbs with SP in 2006-07...I gained most of it back---
I'm about to travel back around that unfortunate U-turn!...I know the way.
My name is Sherry, I have now lost 127 lbs. At my best, it was 165 gone. I WILL reattain that. \I'm 53 years old, married, and the mother of 3 grown men I love with all my heart. I live in Utah and grew up in Southern California.
I wish to be SO OPEN here. I want to do this to help both myself and others see how very possible this is---that it CAN and IS happening for me, and if it is for me, it can for you, too! I began losing weight last November(05) in a very slow, not purposeful way. I've wanted to ALLL my life in a desperate way. I've been very heavy since age six. I started at 458 lbs back in Nov. 05 and have since lost 127pounds. Most of that has been since coming here to SP in early June 06. I have implemented a multi-pronged approach to this effort and many factors have contributed to my FINALLY, FINALLY being able to get good results. I truly believed I never would. I'll share with you in a few moments some of what I've done---but first I'd like to give you just a bit more background. In addition to being heavy since early childhood, I also have struggled with major depression since then. In my teens, I had several very serious suicide attempts because I was so unhappy and hated myself so much. I came from a troubled home with parents who were ill, physically and mentally. My father, or the man who I thought was my father---was an alcoholic and abusive when he drank---but we all loved each other very much. But from all of these dynamics came a very tangled web of almost inescapable pain and confusion. I am "still" in therapy, and have come so very, very far! I "still" struggle with "downs"---depression---but I fight with all my heart to stay out of them and find ways to connect with the joy and LIFE part of life. For as down as I can get...I also can SO appreciate the good things around me...the simple things that can be so overlooked that are so important to not miss.
Because of what I have gone thru, I have developed an empathy and caring for others that has made it all worth it.
And so, with that basic introduction, let me tell you how the turn to finally be able to lose some weight has come about. As I've said, I SO wanted to for SO very long! I've been around 400 my entire adult life! About 25 years ago, I lost 50 lbs thru OverEater's Anonymous. It was a struggle all the way and I finally quit after a few months. There were some bad experiences there, and I just wasn't ready emotionally to deal with all I needed to do.
About 12 years ago, I lost 40 lbs doing much like we do with our SP Plan for food, and doing water aerobics 3 times a week and walking the other 2. I took weekends off. After about 4 months, we lost our water aerobics instructor and I gradually lost my way. Emotional illness was still a factor.
I heard of the Gastric Bypass Surgery and I SO wanted it! I'd tried so hard a number of times and so believed I "just COULDN'T" do it!!!...I made the appt. with the doctors---told them I was on medicaid---they said "yes, we'll see you"---and my heart SOARED!...I got there and they showed me the before and after pictures and my heart soared HIGHER!...and then they said, "Oh, we're sorry, Medicaid WON'T cover it"! BUT---get your Drs. to write letters to appeal this...sometimes they "do". So...I got LOTS of letters...but you have to have 3 BIG physical problems to qualify---and "I" didn't. I was devastated. (But now, so VERY thankful!!!)...but I would go on to wish on many occasions it could BE---ME. And I would see occassional acquaintances as well as a couple Friends, have it...and I would see the transformation I SOOO LONGED FOR~!!!! And I would go on and hurt when I'd try to sit in places too small...get exhausted when I would try to walk...try to act invisible in this HUGE body when I was with people, because I was "so sure" no one would "want to" be with me...struggle with skin problems and odors that made me want to die---I'd try to be SOOO careful---but they are "there"...and on and on I would WISH, WISH, WISH.
Last Fall, I was in a group where they showed the movie/documentary "Super Size Me". Ohhh...WHAT an IMPACT that had on me!!! It is the story of a man who did an experiment eating all fast food for a limited amount of time---and showed the results of changes in his health status even in a short period. "I" was eating mainly fast food---EVERY day. I struggle with cooking as part of my depression. So it was---even is---(I'm working on it!)---easier to just go out...but money wise, that was disastrous, not to mention my health. And so, I'm watching this show---and feeling INTENSE emotion with it. Realizing WHAT I "was" doing to myself and my dear Husband...who, by the way, has had open heart surgery---yet I couldn't stop!!! And I watched on, and on...and felt more and more...and at one point they showed a man who finally got desperate enough to have the bypass---and they wheeled him in on a gurney---so vulnerable---his big belly exposed---his life in offering---and the Drs. in such a cold, routine way, changed this man's life forever---while "The Blue Danube" played in the background---like it was funny or something!
And then in the end---it showed all these AWFUL Statistics of what had happened to the man who did the experiment about fast food---and then a song that was a chant over and over---"SUPER SIZE ME, SUPER SIZE ME!!!"...and "this" Super Size Lady, Sherry, just sat there and SOBBED!!!...and I went on for months until in April of last year then, I finally began in earnest to DO SOMETHING about this weight!!! But I didn't KNOW it would REALLY BE REAL, even yet. I was QUITE DETERMINED---and "HOPED" it "would be"...but I didn't "know" yet.
What had happened was that we started a "Biggest Loser" Competition at work. I work at our Mental Health Center. So...I had all these people I soo look up to that I could compete with---Psychologists, nurses, other secretaries, social workers...and I tried with all my heart for the 3 month competition---and guys---I CAME IN SECOND!!! THAT WAS A-OK!!! I WAS DEEEE-LIGHTED!!! A male nurse came in first with a 45 lb. loss. I had a 32 lb loss for the 12 week competition. A short time before I had also re-joined TOPS---Take Off Pounds Sensibly---so I had a local group for support each week and a place to weigh in. That also majorly spurred me on with much to help me in their program. As I said, I am also in therapy with an individual therapist as well as a group and I so advocate that---never be afraid or ashamed to ask for help if you need it! And my spiritual side---OH, WHAT a search THAT has been!---it's getting better, too---and having God be a part of this is everything to me!!! He's not just "a part"---I know He's orchestrating it all!
And then in June, I found SP thru a Friend at work---SHE doesn't even use it!---but OH, WHAT A HELP IT'S been!!! HOW could we EVER thank our Friend for starting and keeping this site for us???!! THIS has been my GREATEST HELP---I don't think I'd be where I am or even still with my losing if I didn't have this---and WHAT INSPIRATION he has!!!---SO MANY WONDERFUL features to help us---I don't need to enumerate them here---they are available to all and to the extent we use them comes our success. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!! SUCH HELP available 24-7!!!...AMAZING!!!...
To all who may read this, I offer you hope. I NEVER thought it would be me. I started and stopped so many times. I could never stay with things more than a few days even in my times I "did" lose. This time---I'm not even trying to "stay with" something! I've done away with ALLLL guilt and all staying within a rigid "diet". I am working my plan for a healthy lifestyle change that will last the rest of my life. NO FOOD IS "BAD". There is NOTHING I "cannot have". There is no fun event I cannot attend. It all just has to be worked into "my plan".
And if I slip and do more than I HAVE planned---I forgive myself and get right back from right then. And there's times I even ALLOW myself to do something more than I normally would---AND ENJOY IT!...then just eat lighter the next day. THAT, in my mind, is "Healthy Lifestyle Change"---and hey---123 pounds lighter---it seems to be working!
I wish you all equal times of discovering it CAN HAPPEN---YOU CAN DO IT---we ARE doing it---and every step that is taken along the way is a good, valid one---this has been SO VERY LONG coming for me---be gentle with yourself and know you are just fine WHEREVER you are---it "WILL" click for you, too! Sherry
I''ve been heavy since I was six years old. I made a few attempts at wt. loss, but mostly believed I couldn''t and never would. I SO believe I WILL now. I''m in this all the way. I will know what it''s like to wear normal clothing, to have warm things in winter, to sit where I would like, to move freely and be happy.
I am doing all SP recommends. I am having 6-7 oz of lean protein, 6-8 srvngs. starch/carbohydrate, lots of veggies, 2-3 fruit, 2 milk and 3 fat srvngs per day. I am believing there is NO bad food, and NO room for guilt. That has been everything to me this time. I am giving to others all I can in encouragement on the boards. I am receiving SO much as well. I LOVE SP. God bless the people who gave us this wonderful tool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh!---I am also walking and doing water aerobics---both are hard for me so it''s a major victory each time I go!:-)
My name is Cheryll, but I go by Sherry. I live in Utah and so love nature and have so much beauty around us here.
I love any movie that makes ya feel better for having seen it. Anything that shows triumph and the good in life. Same thing with reading. I like to make things. A favorite quote?---"A true Friend is one who reaches for your hand, and touches your heart."
| current weight: 287.0