2008 is when I joined SP and at that time I chose the name Sparkle2008 because at that time it was the year I wanted to shine! Well, despite having a lot of changes to make... I didn't achieve my goals...
The story sounds all to familiar (yet again this year), so I have done a lot of soul searching and made some more changes to my life. One change was to leave as co-leader of the Just Do It team. Co-leading the Just Do It team was a very rewarding experience. Co-leading is also very time consuming and at times I felt I was giving more to my team than to myself. I wasn't finding the balance that I really felt I needed to continue on my journey.
As I have left as co-leader of the team, I also find the need to leave the team completely. I fully admit that I don't do very well with change, and although the many changes on the team may be working for some, it just isn't working for me. I am the type of person that needs compassion and caring, and I tend to respond negatively to an in your face, no excuses attitude. For those that this works for, fabulous. For me, not so fabulous. It was a hard decision because the team really was my baby for a long time. I put so much of my heart and soul into the team and nurturing the members of the team, but it is not longer a vehicle I recognize. It is no longer my baby. I felt I must leave and cut the ties completely. This was harder than any of you will realize.
So, here I am approaching another year continuing to figure out what this all means to me. A few things I have learned about myself includes: I need to learn to put myself and my needs first (not so easy for a mom to do); and that if I fall off the horse there is a reason for it and my goal for this upcoming year is to figure out what those reasons are. I realize I can't fix it if I don't know what is actually broken. One of my "a-ha" moments.
So, once again... as the new year approaches I have changed my name (unfortunately the one I wanted was taken, so I am now Sparkle2011) and with this change I am ready to continue my journey; my learning process; my adventure. It's not a perfect journey, and as we all know, there is no such thing as perfection, but I am ready to continue on this flawed path and learn from each and every bump along the way. I refuse to quit. I will get to where I am supposed to be. It may take some time, as well as blood, sweat and tears (too many to count I am certain), and ultimately it will be in my time and in my way... and you know what? I'm cool with that!!!
So, as I learn what I need to do to Sparkle and Shine, we shall see if this is the year to make it happen (whatever "IT" may be)! I guess we'll all just have to stay tuned and see...
I am Over forty, over fat and over it!!! I want to be the best I can be every day. I want to be healthy. I want to be a "sparkling" example for my kids. And, even though change is difficult, it is not impossible... so I know I CAN do this!
Tracking my nutrition EVERY day; drinking my 8 glasses of water; exercising 3-5 days per week; checking in with my Spark Teams for motivation and inspiration.
| current weight: 155.0