I'm Linda.

I was an active skinny kid. When my parents separated & divorced when I was 9 or 10 years old, Mom & my 2 brothers and I moved in with Mom's parents. My brothers and I weren't allowed to leave their yard and all activity ceased. There's only so much you can do in a backyard where the whole yard is covered with rose bushes and flowers. Our days were spent sitting and shelling beans & peas from their 2 gardens.

According to my school report cards, I ...

I'm Linda.

I was an active skinny kid. When my parents separated & divorced when I was 9 or 10 years old, Mom & my 2 brothers and I moved in with Mom's parents. My brothers and I weren't allowed to leave their yard and all activity ceased. There's only so much you can do in a backyard where the whole yard is covered with rose bushes and flowers. Our days were spent sitting and shelling beans & peas from their 2 gardens.

According to my school report cards, I would gain about 5 pounds a year. I was about a size 10/12 by this time... My grandmother made all of my clothes and she was the one that put the idea in my head that I was overweight. She was constantly telling me that I was HUGE!! I wasn't.

I finally went away to college....where all the girls in my dorm suite were about the same as me. But my mind was so filled with my grandmother's comments that I visualized myself as huge like she'd told me for 8 long years. I went on every diet that my dorm mates tried. In January of one year, my roommate and I went on a 30 day fast. It worked. I lost 30 pounds and I felt great!! (but it wasn't a healthy way to lose) Guys were noticing me!! I'm not sure what weight I got down to because there wasn't a scale to weigh on.

I got married . After I got pregnant years later, I was weighed at the doctor's office--185. OMG!!! All of a sudden I felt HUGE again. After my daughter's birth, I was back into my pre-pregnancy clothes in about 5 days. I stayed that size about 2 years, then I started slowing gaining. Then the divorce came and the stress was out of my life for awhile. Finally stopped gaining after 3 years--I was up to a size 20 now. Got a job that was totally sedentary.

In the early 90s, I got down to a size 14/16. I don't know what triggered the weight gain this time. I married for the 2nd time 10 years ago. I've gained about 60 pounds. Along with the 'menopause 20' this is just not a good healthy way to be. I'm not comfortable with the way I feel any more.

I'm looking for plenty of motivation and encouragement to lose weight and if I make a few friends along the way, that's even better.

I know I need to exercise... I've got to get motivated to move again. I need to focus on me. I've never done that before. My focus has always been on doing everything for every one else in my family. I took care of my mom's parents until they both died...then I took care of one of my younger brothers until he turned 21 and moved on and out. (Mom remarried when I was 17 and had 2 more children .)

I don't know how to focus on me. Any ideas??

I have health problems that need me to focus on me.

My grown daughter is my only support.

My husband is no support at all...he likes me so big that I can't waddle away from him. Maybe a jealousy issue on his part? Hmmmm....or to justify him flirting & setting up dates with other women?

I am in this journey for me. For my life. For the grandchildren I hope my daughter will have one day.

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