STILLTRYING53

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Date: March 07, 2010

Well it has finally come to the point where I just no longer fit in this world I have out grown everything in it.

My world has now imprisoned me to the point where I am afraid to leave my home except to work where I hide behind desk all day as an engineer.

I no longer go out to eat or to the store because people just stare at me.

I am officially to FAT to fly so I no longer can travel. And if I do they charge me for two people.

The latest thing now is that I am too FAT to walk my knees are going out and I now walk with a cane and can no longer walk up stairs.

This year I made the decision to have the Gastric By-Pass surgery. I go in on the March 23rd, 2010 and I am really afraid.

I no longer have any options left. I have a friend of mine who had this surgery and was about 300-350 he is now 180 and he looks great. He told me "People like you and me have tried everything and nothing works" Another friend that also had this surgery told me "I no longer fit in this world"

These men both put it in words that finally made sense to me. So this year I went and did all the foot work to get my doctors and insurance to approve it. I got the approval. All this week I go and do all of the tests.

Today I start a two and half week liquid diet drinks four shakes and water. My partner who only loves me let me eat anything I wanted as my last solid meal for a while. I have to admit towards the end of the junk food and goodies I just didn't feel like eating any more.

I am throwing up the WHITE FLAG and surrendering I can not do this alone.

My partner told me to come back here and try again because I can't do it alone I need your support. So here I am again.

If there are any of you that have had this surgery I sure could use your help. I am really afraid of the surgery and then again I am really afraid of gaining even more weight and dying.

Stilltrying
Ruby....... emoticon


Member Since: 6/14/2009

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