one of my favortie photos of myself
Alexis and I, El Corazon, 2008
Here I am again....
Back in 2005, I weighed close to 300 lbs. My epiphany came after a trip to Hawaii. When I returned, I began to exercise and eat well; I quit booze, fast food, and soda, and... voila! It worked! I thought I'd beat the eating disorder and I loved the way I looked - and felt! - as a thin person (went from a size 22 to a size 4). Then... a couple of major setbacks (I won't beleaguer the details; ask if you are curious), and suddenly I'd put on 40 lbs! So, I'm trying to get rid of the last 30 and put my life back on track. Slow going, I might add....
I'm a writer, a 'Metalhead', and, even though it may seem otherwise at times, a fitness enthusiast. I'd rather exercise outdoors, but since I live in Helios-forsaken Seattle, I most often have to stay indoors to work out [thus the grumbling :D]. I used to be a smoking fetish model (nothing dirty, mind you - at least not on my end, hahaha!), but it made me too self-conscious, and having to go through hundreds of photos of myself ended up causing great self-loathing.
I'm not always shiny-happy (I believe people who are that way are either in denial or not playing with a full deck), but despite my grumpy, self-deprecating nature, I'm actually pretty positive most of the time. The eating disorder contributes greatly to my sometimes less-than-positive attitude toward diet and exercise (and please don't send me a message not to think of it as 'diet' - I already know this; I'm using 'diet' in a general sense).
I don't expect a huge amount of support here. After all, I didn't get it before - the non-shiny-happy thing I mentioned above, plus the fact that I'm anti-Christian (actually, anti-religion, period) kinda nips that right in the bud, especially on this particular health & fitness site. But if you see in me some similarities to yourself, I'd be more than willing to exchange occasional 'pleasantries' :-) and offer support.
To become healthier so that I am able to work out like I used to, and hopefully get back into my size 4 clothes one day (I can't afford another wardrobe!)
Transitioning to a more plant-based diet (for cardiovascular health); cardio at least 4 times per week; weight training at least three times per week.
|1,208 Days since: fast food, soda
"Eating bland and unsatisfying food is a sacrifice I have to make, I realize, but it makes me want to throw myself on the floor in a hissy fit, kicking and screaming: It's not fair!!!"
It's not just unfair it's UNTRUE!
Tell me your total calories per day that you are striving for and I will try to think of recipes. It is possible. I eat bacon, butter, cheese, and fries. I also drink wine and soda. Not all in one meal. But still. I lose weight, and enjoy every bite.
You do not have to be in diet food hell!
(tried to post this to your blog. Critical Fail. So I am posting here.)
1985 days ago