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This One Life
I have had some major obstacles to this process pop up in the last few months and somewhere in the dealing with them, I forgot to love me. After I got through kicking myself for not being strong enough and focused enough to deal with those obstacles and keep focused on getting my life in control, I stopped and sat down and had an “AHA” moment. The obstacles are part of life and the promise I made to myself was to start living and handling my life. I did that. I am one person and can only give ...
I have had some major obstacles to this process pop up in the last few months and somewhere in the dealing with them, I forgot to love me. After I got through kicking myself for not being strong enough and focused enough to deal with those obstacles and keep focused on getting my life in control, I stopped and sat down and had an “AHA” moment. The obstacles are part of life and the promise I made to myself was to start living and handling my life. I did that. I am one person and can only give my attention fully to a finite number of things. I remembered to love myself, so I patted myself on the back for handling these things with way more aplumb than I used to. I did not shut down, binge, curl up in a little ball and try to wish them away, I met them head on and pushed my way through. So, Yay! for me.
I have just this one life, as me, I am not sure how I feel about the concept that there may be more lives later, but I am working with just this one now.
In this one: I have a lot to say and I need to work everyday on saying it.
In this one: I have a relationship with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and I intend for it to get stronger with every passing hour.
In this one: I survived a horrific past. Now I need to get on with living.
In this one: I have adopted behaviors that have led to my being overweight and unhealthy. I need to replace each and every one with new ones that allow my body to return to it natural size and my health to improve.
In this one: I know that the only person on this plane who can make me happy, healthy, productive and moving forward, instead of looking back, is me.
So, berating me when I am not perfect does not help me move forward, it keeps me going around in a circle chase perfection, like a dog chases its tail. For the rest of this life, there will be moments that hurdle me into my past and it is up to me, to push my way back into the present and then move on. I am never going to be 16 or 18 or 23 or any of the ages where I did things that altered my life forever, again, so embrace and enjoy this life as it is now, and break myself free of the trap of “What If?”
If I had a penny for every time I have restarted, recommitted, reapplied, repromised, etc. I would be quite wealthy. So, I will look forward but realize I am a work in progress and I am libel to trip up and step back, at least one more time before I get where I am going. If that happens, I will try to remember that any movement even if it is sideways, is better than moving back or standing still.
And I pray, for once in this life, I just enjoy the living and let God plot the journey. It would be so much simpler than the way I have handled things before now.
Yeah, I know God, you said that a long time ago, I am hard-headed sometimes.
| current weight: 332.0
Interact with XENIAROSE77
Member Since: 7/3/2013
If nature did not create it, not to eat it.
340: Accept I Am Valuable (still working on…)
330: a JD Robb book
320: Breaking Dawn 2
310: Resident Evil 5
290: repiercing my ears
280: get my tattoo
270: swimming lessons
260: new sheets and pillowcases to match bed
250: hair dyed
240: off of anxiety meds
230: self-publish my poetry
220: buy Rosetta Stone Gaelic
210: Buy Rosetta Stone Ancient Greek
180: a bicycle
170: start an Acapella Praise Group
160: Go to an amusement park
150: Write a book about my weight loss journey
125: new wardrobe
Green smoothie daily.
Whole and mostly raw foods only.
Have fun relearning how to eat and use food.
Exercise 6 days a week.
Move whenever I can!!
Blog at least weekly as a means for putting into words what is rolling around in my head.
Assess each week where I am at emotionally, so I do not get far off track without noticing.
I am convinced I am from a different place and time and somehow got trapped here!! Hehehe! I am an author and songwriter. Oh, and I answer to the head of the house, my tortoiseshell tabby, Juliet.
I love romance, thriller, and horror books. I am addicted to movies and quote them often. I am a teddy bear fanatic. I love computer games.