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Today is the first day of the rest of my life:

Sunday, January 26, 2014

And so it begins.... again.

As so many of us have, so have I.

I have fallen off the fence, much like humpty dumpty did, and I am in the process of gluing myself back together.

And so, my friends, I went to the gym today and actually got in a workout, weight training and cardio x2. I actually worked up a sweat and that is more than I can remember for the past year of my gym activities. I did not overeat, and I am pretty sure that I ate under 1500 calories.... which, is probably the best that I have done in like, a year.

Not really sure why I was doing so horribly, other than the excuses that we all like to use to lay blame when we do not want to admit we have a weakened resolve. Yes, the job is stressful, I work long hours, I have a 90 minute commute each way - which is no longer going past my gym on the way home - I'm tired at the end of the day and just want to vegetate and worst of all..... I started smoking again (as soon as I had to move to a different work location, that was the end of the non-smoking! Change like that is not my friend).

So, I find myself with 50 added lbs! Pounds that I do not wish to carry with me all day, every day. If I wanted to take it with me everywhere I would just drag along a full suitcase!! While I have woken up from this nightmare of gaining 50lbs back, I'm not sure that my resolve is 100% As I sit here an type this blog I am desperately trying NOT to get up, go into the kitchen and find something to snack on. It is literally killing me for some stupid reason. But, if I remember back to 2010 -- I spent most nights on sparkpeople - searching, reading, learning, logging my day and meeting all of the wonderful folks here on the site. And so I am once again.

This was my first step. My first step of many. If I can keep my goal for tomorrow, I will go to the gym before coming home from work - which will entail me leaving the house at 6 am..... and not getting to the gym until 7pm. But it can be done. I just need to drive the car straight instead of taking the turn for my home.. :-) Simple, right?

I could really go on and on and on.... and I really want to, but I started this blog too late and I need to get my sleep for a long day tomorrow. If I go to bed now, I will get my 7 hours of sleep otherwise I am setting myself up to fail.

So, until tomorrow my friends....

Good night and thank you for your kindness!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDREWMOM 1/27/2014 1:05PM


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Tomorrow: I begin AGAIN

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

i have been terrible the past week!

i feel awful. i know i have gained at least 10 lbs. i got home from florida today - i unpacked and headed to the gym for the first time in 9 days!! i lasted a mere 30 minutes on the elliptical and my legs were like rubber!!

i feel so crappy it is not even funny. i ate everything in sight, no holds barred. apple pie! chocolate covered nuts, chocolate, candy -- you name it... i had it. i didn't even try to limit myself and i do not know why!!

i used to be able to limit myself and know when to say NO! i am so depressed about this it is driving me crazy. i have come too far to fall back now. tomorrow is a new day and i will begin again. i have not gotten on a scale in 9 days and to be quite frank, i am afraid to. i know i will see at least 165!! which is 15lbs higher than i was 3 weeks ago.

i need to recommit. i'm scared. i cannot waiver and falter!! i over did everything this past week on vaca in florida and i knew it when i was doing it and i knew i'd feel horrible but it did not stop me. i used vacation and the holiday as an excuse to NOT CARE.

but that is over and i will return to my healthy lifestyle. i know that this binge did nothing for me. nothing but make me feel horrible (physically and mentally). i guess maybe i needed a small reminder of why i chose the healthy route. i miss my gym and the feeling i get after exercising. i can't wait to get my fruits and veggies back in the house tomorrow....

i just feel like SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    hope you've moved on from this... and are doing better.. & have gotten your butt back to the GYM!!! ;)

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 12/29/2011 8:05AM

    Oh Kat... I get it, I've been able to successfully gain 20 pounds in the last 5 months, and I hate myself... BUT, like you, I have realized that I screwed up, and am moving forward... It does us no good to say I shouldn't have had XYZ because the fact is, we DID have it, and now we must adjust for it. So, you get on the scale, you buy your fruits and veggie's, go back to the gym (I just joined on 2 weeks ago), and you remember why you hated being where you were, not where you are... You have come so far, and you have done AMAZING things, and that's what you need to remember. You'll get back on that horse and do it again!
My prayers are with you, you CAN do this.

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TRYINGTOLOSE64 12/28/2011 6:31AM

    The important thing is to get back on the wagon. Don't dwell on the past.

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Time to pay for all the FUN I HAD.....

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

so, the time has come.

it is time to pay for my totally awsome vacation. got back from europe yesterday and i could not believe how bloated and HUGE my legs and calves are!!

my legs look like an elephants legs and i made the mistake of getting on the scale this morning. first off, i had breakfast first (which is a big no no for weighing oneself) second of all, like i said, it i time to pay the piper. i was up 15lbs!! how the heck did that happen!!

well, i guess the irish coffees i've been drinking have not helped any, nor the frozen mudslides or toasted almonds (yet another frozen concoction). my hubby thinks most of the weight gain is water weight from travelling. i beg to differ. i just do not FEEL like that is most of the problem here.

however, i am not going to dwell on it. i spent 1.5 hours at the gym today and worked my little butt off. i ate well so far today and i still have nearly 500 calories to use for dinner (chicken and broccoli, yayyyyy).

yes, kids, i even managed to sneak in an irish coffee today. although, i did tone down a tad on the BAILEYS since one little tablespoon has 55 calories. but it is sooooo YUMMY.

has anyone ever heard of a coffee layered liquer called SHERIDAN'S? it is black and white and comes in a segregated bottle.... and it is TO DIE FOR!! i sampled it on the boat (lol, ok, so i went to a liquer tasting even, so what, lol) and walked away with 2 bottles of the darn stuff. did i mention it was TO DIE FOR. it is even tastier than BAILEYS if you dare to imagine that.


so here's the up to date scoop on me and my vacation.

we started out on a plane to DUBLIN where we had a 12 hour layover, did a whole day of sightseeing, and yes, we ended up at the TEMPLE BAR, a well known and quite homey tavern... crowded with both locals and tourists alike. we enjoyed our day of lolling around and headed back to the airport for our connecting flight to BARCELONA.

got to BARCELONA in time for bed and after breakfast we strolled around town sightseeing for a bit before we needed to head over to the dock to catch our "ship" the NORWEGIAN EPIC - which celebrated its 1 year anniversary while we were asea. yes, a brand new boat. wahoo!

the boat was huge. i know i did not get to see all of it during my week aboard, but the casino kept calling my name, what's a girl to do? it has 2 bowling alleys, a rock climbing wall, 3 water slides, roughly 10 poolside jaccuzi's, a gym (yes i worked out 2 x on the cruise) a spa, a cirque tent (incredible dinner show not to be missed), blue man group (also very entertaining), legends in concert (we had the pleasure of elton john, whitney houston and someone called shakira), a crew talent show, a comedy club, a jazz club, a piano club, a fine dining club, a single travelers complex designed for solo travelers with shared living spaces so you can mingle away and meet others, 15 restaurants on board, an internet cafe, a photo gallery, and art gallery, an entire deck of duty free shopping (yes, including liquor!), pool tables, table tennis, a game room, a library, a video arcade, a sports arena (basketball etc) a golf tee, a coffee bar, a theater for many shows, bingo and i don't really remember how many bars (hiccup) ---and you cannot forget the ICE BAR... walls, seats, counter and cups all made of ICE.... below freezing in there too!! oh, and one honking big casino!!

bottom line, you never got bored!


moderno churrascaria - was my favorite dining experience. it was a portuguese restaurant that offered a self serve salad bar (not typical items on this bar) and a table side meat carving dining experience. the carver came around with 10 different cuts of meat (chcken, pork, beef) all differently prepared and you got to try them all, as well as the four sides they offered. you had red and green chips that you flipped over. when you wanted them to stop or slow down, you faced the red side up, when you wanted them to start up again, you flipped the green side up. you could have as much of each item as you wanted and could go back to them after you tried them all too. and yes, desert was the same way. you got to try all that they offered. it was quite a thing to experience. it was incredible and the presentation was superb.


port info on florence, rome, naples and palma majorca to follow!

thanks for reading my blog!!!!

{{{{ hugs }}}}

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DR_BIRDIE 8/6/2011 6:12AM

    You sure know how to have fun! Congratulations on your success! We are all in this together! Get back on track and dream about feeling great for your next adventure!
Dr B

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SIMOFDIM 7/13/2011 12:33PM

    Sounds like a great trip!

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    WOW--I want to go on vacation with you! That sounds just wonderful! I don't think 15 pounds is too high a price to pay for such pleasure. I hope you have continued to get back on track since you returned home and are well on your way to losing those extra 15. Spark will help keep you motivated. Good Luck and thanks for sharing your great times!

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 6/22/2011 8:34AM

    WOW, it sounds like you had the most wonderful time. I am so glad you whooped it up!!! As you say, now back to business. I am sure you AND your husband are correct, some water, some Bailey's, but you know the drill, a minute on the lips a month on the hips! God Bless the gym!!

Welcome back, can't wait to hear about the rest of your trip!!

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.DUSTY. 6/21/2011 8:41PM

    Glad you had such a wonderful trip! emoticon

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MOCUEVAS 6/21/2011 6:33PM

    You are so good to be back in the gym today after all those wonderful things on vacation. It sounds like you had a great time and I'm so happy for you. I've been to a restuarant like the one you described, it is wonderful and a fun experience, though I couldn't do it every night!?!?!
Hope you are re-adjusting to the "real world" slowly and that the great feeling of such a good vacation lingers for a while.
I've missed you!
Smiles, Mo

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Taking a Major Nose DIVE!!

Monday, May 02, 2011

Nose Dive....

Head first plunge....

Free Falling......

Sinking fast....

Headed for a major CRASH and BURN!!

That is what i feel like anyway. I just feel like nothing i do is good enough anymore. Nothing i do will get results. I had a work trip to Atlanta this past week and gained nearly 5 lbs!! They seriously served NOTHING HEALTHY and since it was a work function I could not take off and find healthy fare. I was attending a convention with over 3,000 other folks and it literally took all my time without time to spare for myself. It certainly did not help that i was so frustrated that when we went to the Atlanta Aquarium (yes, group function) and World of Coke i got slightly intoxicated on white wine. Did i ever mention i do not drink much, usually only 1 drink every couple of months? and did i mention that i was drinking on an empty stomach? and did i mention that i never made it to the World of Coke or that i was lucky my best friend was my room mate? yeah, i am not sure i would have made it back to the hotel, let alone the room, without her. passed out before i hit the pillow!! Yes, i did. emoticon

we were on the 40th floor of the weston hotel. had to walk down 40 flights of stairs due to the overcrowded elevator situation. that was fun. oh yeah, then we had to call for help. the elevator got stuck on the 28th floor with just us 2 in it.... fun, fun. fun. security had to come and free us. i was totally laughing the whole time, jumping up and down trying to get the darn thing to move.

i have a nightly eating problem. after dinner i go right into snacking and i have to stop. i have to!! i know it now and i know it when i am doing it but it does not help. i am creeping myself out. i need a mental make over big time!! i need motivation. i need a new attitude!!!! i need a new job.

it doesn't help that i can't quit.... i have a huge trip planned in june and need to pay for it. besides... once you get used to a certain pay range, it is not easy to cut back as much as i would have to find a new job -- entry level will never pay me near what i am making. i am just so sick of the crappy work ethics of others, they HAVE NONE!!

so i get home and try to DEstress... dinner and snacking!!! i eat until my stomach is a tad over full. most of it is fruit and huge salads, but i still feel like i am overdoing it. i stay in my calorie range and i still get no results. i have tried high on the calorie range and low. but still nothing.

i am still going to the gym 3 or 4 days a week, but it does not feel the same. it does not feel effective regardless of how much i sweat and huff and puff.

i am going to try harder to be active once again. i am sorry to all my friends for being absent for so long. i feel like my absence may be a part of my problem. i need this interaction and all of you. knowing others are in this with me is a huge help for me. time is just a major issue for me.

i am so far behind on my weight loss goals it is depressing me even more. march 28th was my goal for 175 lbs. it is now may 2nd and i have also missed my april goal of 165lbs. i am 2 months behind. 3 months i have been stuck in the mud!! i have had zero movement in 3 months other than up a few, down a few. emoticon

well, i guess that is enough crying for one night. i have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.. and not particularly a fun one either. but it will end with me at the gym. perhaps i can, if for one day only, not go into snack mode after dinner tomorrow. that is my goal. i will not end the day with a full belly tomorrow. well, that is the goal anyway.

thanks to anyone out there who is listening.. you are all quite incredible.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 5/5/2011 8:48AM

    Hi, Did you pick yourself up yet? About the after dinner eating, I have (had) the same problem... How I sort of fixed it. I went to Google, printed off a picture of a clock at 7:30, and put it on the Fridge... NOW, I look at THAT clock, and if it's earlier than the that, I can have something to eat, if it's after that, no food. And, because we tend to eat a little later, we're not usually standing up from dinner until almost 7, so I'm not interested in eating just yet. Has worked fairly well for me, something to think about.
I did laugh about the wine and friend, and elevator, and sounds like you had a bang up time in Hotlanta!!!
You are doing the right things, know that. STOP worrying about the goals. You have 1 goal, to become more fit okay, 2, AND healthy. One foot in front of the other, stop tripping, we all go through this, it will be fine...


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TJHIERS 5/2/2011 9:47PM

    don't be so hard on yourself, just keep doing some kind of workout and watch those calories while you are back home now, and drink your water... things will get better, stress is not good for ya, take time to settle back in and refocus on your goals..we can't change yesterday, but tomorrow starts a new day.
take care. emoticon

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EMMANYC 5/2/2011 9:26PM

    Did you fly to and from Atlanta? How long have you been home? I just wanted to mention that, for some reason I do not understand, flying almost always makes me retain water. Even if I'm really careful with what I eat when I travel, I still seem to gain a couple of pounds (and then lose them within about 3-4 days). So if your weight is up a few (or 5 pounds) after your trip, I'll bet a couple of those are "airplane pounds", and another is a sodium pound. Destress, eat healthily, drink lots of water and your weight will probably drop within the next week.

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On the road back....

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

at least i hope i am on the road back...

i really miss having time to be here on spark. i really think my absence has been felt especially in my attitude. i have been rather non chalant in my approach of late, i have been satisfied with no losing and not gaining... well, actually it has been a bit of a roller coaster ride, i gain 5 - i lose 5 - i gain 5 - i lose five... well, you get the picture.

work has been seriously holding me back and i am pretty sure the stress, which is not going to go away, is part of my problem. i also tried something new for a month. i tried taking cinnamon supplements, which have been tooted has being able to attack belly flab, and that experiment was a bust. during the time i was using it, i lost nothing - no weight and no inches. however, on the flip side, as soon as i stopped taking the supplements, i immediately began losing again. i am now down 6lbs in 8 days.

overall, i have been keeping up with the gym - if i didn't i would not be sane. i have found that the gym is my outlet, my haven, my release. i always feel better after going to the gym. amen for that!

i have also done ok with my calories and nutrient intake. lots of veggies and sticking somewhere inside my calorie range has been going well, with only a few days of eccentric behavior (lol, if you can believe that). i guess i am a better cook than i care to relate because i always go overboard when i cook sunday dinners. mmmmm yummy. while they are quite healthy meals, too much of anything is not a good thing, as we all know.

so, i put my car in the shop to fix the issues from when i got rear ended a while ago and i had a rental car. needless to say, someone pulled into my line on the road at a crazy speed and i ended up clipping their car. well, i don't exactly work in the best area and they people in the other car took off like a bat out of hell. my guess is they were either on drugs, uninsured or illegals, since that is the modis operendi in my neck of the woods. so, as it be, i am stuck with the damn deductible for the accident. just a little more excitement to add to my plate.

my sister's mother-in-law passed the other day. tomorrow i will be going to the wake and friday the funeral. i knew her well as our families always shared events and holidays. she had been ill of late and dementia had started setting in which made things all the worse. that is not something i wish on anyone.

i do have this itching every night to snack endlessly. i have dinner. i'm full. yet, something keeps pulling at me to keep munching. and i know it is not the right thing to do but there are just times that i cannot help myself. i wish i could get a better grip on this particular situation, but it is tough. and i know i am not alone in this.

enough babbling for now. i have to get ready for work. i have to go to a meeting today for several hours on my day off. oh yayyyy. i am so excited i cannot contain myself.

thanks for your support and friendship.

hugs and well wishes to all


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANA2JONEMIMAT 5/17/2011 9:18AM

    Ya snacks in the evening is my downfall also. That's one of the reasons my DH and I gained weight, besides the overeating.
Trying to pick better snacks and less of them.

Deanna in Dacula, GA

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 4/14/2011 10:25AM

  oh, I know how that feels... the gaining 5 pounds, losing 5 pounds kind of thing! :( and, I also know about that snacking after dinner feeling. :( it was nice to see another blog from you... after awhile! missed reading your blogs! :(

hope you're having a good week.

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ALICEM13 4/10/2011 5:31AM

    I'm so sorry about all the stress you are under. I'm also sorry for your families loss.I too go threw the same thing, especially if I wake up in the middle of the night(witch I do often). Chains on that frig wont keep me out! What ever is handy is in my mouth.Sometimes I can stop"the madness" by reminding myself that I'm looking for comfort....that I'm tired &need to sleep. Anyway, hang in there Kat, one thing is for certain........CHANGE.This is all just temporary. emoticon....Alice

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 4/6/2011 3:48PM

    Oh, so nice to hear from you, but sorry about the stress, car boo boo, and of course, your sister in law. Major sad, I am very sorry for your loss.
BUT, I too was having after dinner need to eat thing, so I went to google images, and found a clock at 7:30. I put this on my fridge. Now, if I want to open the fridge, it has to be before 7:30, or nope, no food. It is my reminder that I can't... Shouldn't, why do I want to reminder...
Ya, that whole up 3 down 4 up 5 down 2, stinks, I too am going through that but hope to break out soon...

Be safe, Be well,


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MOONBIRD 4/6/2011 1:07PM

    It sounds like you've been having a lot of stress. I hope that life will get less stressful for you soon. I've also been wanting to snack a lot lately, I just feel so hungry some days, and then others barely get to my minimum calories. I think most people go through the lose a couple gain a couple time at some point during their weight loss journey. This happened for me during the holiday season.

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