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Live In The Moment

Monday, October 27, 2014


Sorry if I'm whispering. I don't know why I was speaking so quietly. Maybe in reverence of nature. emoticon

UGH And sorry about all the vibraty noises. I figure out someone was sending me messages from Facebook Messenger.

(This blog is brought to you in part by Tove Lo's "Habits" because it gets played on the radio so much I never quite get it out of my head.)

Hey all! Just a bit of life philosophy this time. Nature called and I answered.

Guess who has two thumbs and didn't sew today?! THIS GAL!

Weekly Menu:

Sun: Pancakes, Pork Roll & Winter Fruit Salad (Pears, Oranges and Pomegranates, thanks Persephone!)

Mon: Chicken, White Bean & Poblano Chili (This was delicious)

Tues: Homemade Cheddar Scones with Ham, Tomato Salad

Weds: Greek-Style Pork Chops w/ Roasted Baby Potatoes & Cucumber Salad

Thurs: Nachos. Yeah baby. NACHOS.

Fri: Bistro Braised Chicken, Rice, Frozen Veg

Sat: Spaghetti & Tossed Salad

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVEDAILY 10/29/2014 9:26PM

    More very yummy foods!!

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SAGE150 10/29/2014 8:25PM

    You have motivated me to go for a walk tomorrow and be mindful about the beauty around me.

Sage

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HOPEFULHIPPO 10/28/2014 3:17PM

    love it...upside down and all. LOL

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FOR_THE_DUDES 10/28/2014 9:49AM

    Love it. Nothing better than a day in the woods. Most people get very caught up in the minutia of life and fail to be present. For so many years I focused on living in the moment, that I woke up one day and realized that I'd gone to an extreme. I've actually had to make a bit of a conscious effort to make future plans and evaluate the past. It's kind of an opposite problem most folks have. I still firmly believe that living in the present is the only way to appreciate our time on Earth, but you also have to pay your water bill!

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SPEDED2 10/27/2014 8:16PM

    Sounds yummy!

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I Appreciate You

Saturday, October 25, 2014

I think most of us are here for a lot of the same reasons, the most important of which is support.

We support each other by sharing successes, failures, recipes, workouts, strategies. We also support each other with compliments.

I wrote a blog not long ago about working on accepting compliments. We have to work on not putting ourselves down to others, and not using abusive language in our own heads. I've never been one to put myself down internally much, but I do have a bad habit of deflecting compliments, which I *have* been working on, and *have* seen some success with! And part of my therapy is complimenting others. Or more specifically, you.

YES, we are more than our looks. All of us here (hopefully) know this. Our looks are, however, a part of us, and a part of how we view ourselves, and this, a part of our self esteem. When we feel we look good, we FEEL good, and our self esteem improves. God knows mine has over time. Five years ago I would NEVER have posted photos of myself in a sports bra. I certainly have no trouble finding flaws, but in general I'm getting happier about how I look every day.

So when I receive a compliment from you, I'm truly grateful: whether it be about my body or my smile or my sense of humor or my crazy writing style, it's all appreciated. And because you're my friend, it means more. You like me because I'm me. And that's better than any compliment from a stranger, because they have no idea what I've been through and you do.



(It totally wouldn't be a ME blog without some humor, now would it?)

Also, here is an adorable picture of Bingley:



So yeah. You're totes appreciated. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DRTOVAH 10/27/2014 9:57AM

  Great post! I love the support and comments on here too!

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VERSESTHATHURT 10/27/2014 9:37AM

    Word.

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FINCHFEEDER80 10/27/2014 9:19AM

    Right back at ya! emoticon

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NUTSNUTSGETEM 10/27/2014 8:59AM

    Selfishly too - I look at people like you on here and use your success as proof of what can be accomplished. When I want to whine and think, I will never get there, I see that you have. And, when I need to, I have to be a little stalker-ish with the people who have been successful to go back through some of their blogs to see that they struggled too. It wasn't easy for you. It's a great example. And, then, I use the people, who like me, are early in their transformation, and I see that I am not alone. And, it makes me feel better to not be alone. And, then, I see those that are 4-5 months behind me, and feel an obligation to them to help them get to where I am so they can eventually get to where you are.

So, I appreciate you.

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RASPBERRY56 10/27/2014 5:15AM

    Gotta love those "e-cards"......... a lot of the snarker ones are right up my alley!

emoticon

Awesone pic of Bingley - looks like a Boston Terrier (love those dogs)!

Thank you for sharing such a well-written, thoughtful and insightful blog (I truly appreciate those - and *you* for taking the time out of your busy life to share)!

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/27/2014 2:53AM

    So well said :)

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HOPEFULHIPPO 10/27/2014 1:50AM

    emoticon

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UNSWEETMAMA 10/26/2014 10:38PM

    I appreciate your openness and humor. And yer cute dog, too.
emoticon

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NETGYRL 10/26/2014 5:24PM

    Bingley is a studly boy! Love the hat.

You rock. I love reading your blogs and appreciate all your support. Have a kick ass week!

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SAGE150 10/26/2014 11:18AM

    Bingley is adorable. :-) I appreciate you, too.

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SPEDED2 10/25/2014 11:13PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CATTUTT 10/25/2014 9:16PM

    Love this blog. It's so true, the encouragement here is awesome. And Bingley looks a little concerned about his current predicament, and I love it!

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LIVEDAILY 10/25/2014 8:22PM

    Thank you right back!

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ECCOVISION1 10/25/2014 7:44PM

    What a nice blog! You inspire us! emoticon

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FOR_THE_DUDES 10/25/2014 7:22PM

    Really nice blog. And I am sure you are much more appreciated than you could imagine. Thanks

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CHANGING-TURTLE 10/25/2014 3:39PM

    emoticon

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HONEYBEESBLISS 10/25/2014 3:34PM

    emoticon I appreciate you too! emoticon

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MAGGIEVAN 10/25/2014 3:33PM

    I loved your post because it is so true! We all need encouragement, we need to love and feel loved. Thanks for sharing.

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Of My Past, Dreams, and User Errors

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Has there ever been someone from your past that pops up in your memories or your dreams randomly, so they're never really ever clear from your mind?

2003 was not a great year for me.

I was attending Roger Williams University in Bristol, RI for Architecture. I was taking 18 or 19 credits every semester. The major required a course called Studio, which was the design course (where you design a project, do drawings and build 3d models before getting your designs ripped apart by critics ala Project Runway). Studio was a 9 hour a week course, and the out-of-class investment time was a minimum of 3x that to finish the work. Often it was longer. Let's round to 40 hours a week. FOR ONE CLASS. On top of taking four other courses. In addition to this, I worked 30+ hours a week to pay rent in a slummy apartment where when it was windy, the snow would pile on my bedroom floor. I had a male and female roommate who HATED each other. They would passive aggressively fight all the time. They would stay up late because neither of them was going to school. I didn't have a safe, quiet place to work. My college bestie and I were no longer speaking. I was 300 miles from the only person I trusted, my Dad, and he was busy with his new wife.

In January, my Gran died. My Gran was the closest thing I had to a real mom back then, as my adoptive mom had long ago moved to Florida and essentially abandoned me, except for the monthly guilt-trip phone calls. Gran was 87 years old. I went to visit her at the nursing home the day she died, on my way back to school. She was skeletal. We visited for a half hour. She asked me when I was going to visit again. I told her Easter, when I had my next break. I left. I drove the 6 hours back to school. I called home to say I had made it. I could hear my Dad crying. She had died before I made it back to school.

My crappy male roommate left the heat on 90 for days while I was away for the funeral, running up the bill to almost $500. I didn't last long up there after that. Two, maybe 3 weeks? I asked the Dean for a leave of absence, which he granted reluctantly, but I knew I wasn't coming back. My step-family, who lived in nearby Massachusetts, helped me move out. Female roommate was long gone by then. Male roommate had pissed on her bedroom floor and sprinkled sugar over it, making a crust, which we then had to clean. He also broke a bunch of light switch covers. He rummaged through my things while I was out, leaving notes about what he'd found. I'm not sure I quite made it to nervous breakdown territory, but it might have been close. I sobbed the whole time. It upset me more than these people, my step family, who were very new to me, had to see me like this. I'm sure it was very distressing.

I moved back in with my Dad and Step-Mom, which I'm sure you can imagine was very volatile at times. In March, my 13-year old Cocker Spaniel had to be put down because of cancer. Everything dog-related had been thrown away by my Step-Mom by the time we got back from the vet's office. I lost it. I had lost my Gran and my dog, and I had "lost" my Dad to this woman who couldn't wait to throw away everything that reminded me of my pet. I was severely depressed. Step-Mom suggested therapy, which I agreed with. I got a job at a family owned chain of grocery stores called Genuardi's, which, if there are any left, are now owned by Safeway. All the ones I know of closed. Genuardi's is where I met Chris.

Chris was also in a rebuilding stage of life. He was decent-looking, tall, had Southern manners and an easy going demeanor. Like me, he liked to tease people, so we threw friendly harassments at each other during training. One day he teased me about something that rubbed me the wrong way, I don't even remember what, and I gave him a stern look and jokingly said "If you don't stop I'm going to shoot you in the face." Surprisingly, he burst out laughing. Later he would tell people that's when he knew we were going to be friends. (People apparently like it when I'm a bit of a butthole!)

We talked a lot. He was in therapy too, for bi-polar disorder. He was only a few years older than me but was divorced with two young kids who lived with their mom in Oklahoma. He was from NJ originally so came back after the divorce because his mom, Step-Dad and half-brother and -sister were here. We were very open about our crazy emotions and step-family problems and just how tumultuous life was in general. I was already engaged to my husband but it was very long distance, and I wasn't going to school, just work and therapy, so I had a lot of spare time. We started hanging out outside of work, absolutely just friends.

At some point though, a couple of years in, maybe late 2005, it became a little more than that. He was here and Paulo was 500 miles away. I started questioning my feelings for Chris. I had to write myself a list of the positives and negatives of the two of them, which I discussed with my therapist. Chris had too many negatives. Still, I kept getting this feeling that he liked me too. He never, ever said anything, or tried anything. He dated multiple women while we were friends, but nothing super serious. So I asked. He insisted that no, we were just friends. This sealed my decision. We remained friends, but things were strained after that. At the time, I thought it was just me. I was heavy, and I thought unattractive. I was upset about being rejected, despite not being single. Therapy was wrapping up, but I was still fragile at this point. I wondered what was wrong with me.

Either way, he was still a good friend, and I asked him to be in my wedding. He agreed. But well before the wedding, he stopped answering his phone. I drove by his place. It was closed up, empty, and for sale. I persisted, leaving voice mail after voicemail. Worried. Where did he go? What happened? This had happened before, but he had turned up in a halfway house, having gone off his meds and having a severe manic episode. This time it took longer. Almost a month later he finally answered his phone. His voice was strained, very upset, and it sounded like he'd been crying. He didn't tell me much, except he was sorry for the way he left, without telling me. He said he had moved back to Oklahoma to be closer to his kids. We lost touch after that.

It's always hard to lose a friend. But what can you do when someone cuts you off? So I moved on. I got married. I listened to my closest friends say bad things about this guy, to make me feel better I guess. But he wasn't bad. He had problems, but he wasn't a bad person. It's not always the person in control, sometimes it's the disorder. People in general need to be more understanding of these things. Everyone has a reason behind the things they do.

So anyway, fast forward to 2011. I'm married. Things are good. I get a message on Facebook from Chris, out of the blue. He tells me he's sorry, and tells me that part of the reason he left so suddenly was because he was in love with me. I had spent the last five years hoping I would bump into him somewhere so I could throw a rock at him. I was angry at being abandoned by someone else. (Abandonment issues, remember?) I had told him I had felt like he'd used me at times: like when I had gone with him to drive his kids to Indiana to get picked up by their mom, or when he'd wanted to take them to the beach but didn't have the money. (I realize in hindsight I didn't have to do any of those things.) But he told me he had just wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. He didn't try to rekindle our friendship: maybe my anger quelled that desire or maybe he just wanted closure, I don't know. I haven't heard from him since.

But I think about him often. Just randomly. Despite how it ended he WAS a good friend to me, and what I needed at that point in my life was a good friend. I dreamt of him last night, which is what prompted this excessively long foray into my past and psyche. The dream wasn't much. I was cleaning my place (which, like in all dreams, was completely different looking from my actual home, but was still "my" home) and someone came inside to tell me there was someone on my front porch waiting for me (I don't have a front porch). And there he was, like he always was, sitting on a patio chair, legs crossed in the way men cross their legs, with ankle resting on knee, talking on his cell phone with one hand, smoking a cigarette in the other. Telling me he was sorry to drop back into my life yet again. And then I woke up. It's funny how such a precise image can stand out in our memories like that and require a ridiculously lengthy blog to get it out. Maybe now I can work on letting go of it.

As for user error, I "fixed" my sewing machine. I say "fixed" because it wasn't broken. I'd been threading it wrong for all this time. I am a dumb*ss. So this morning I threaded it correctly, and it works perfectly. I can now begin working on my mom's Christmas present hardcore! I want to finish it by Thanksgiving if I can. Still not sure if we're going to be spending Christmas with her or not, so I need to make sure I have enough time to ship it.

On the health front, I've got a dentist appointment this afternoon to fix some fillings, so I get to leave work at 2:45. (But let's be honest, leaving work to go to the dentist is not fun. I'd rather stay at work.)

Not much else going on today, but I needed to get that off my chest, and I feel better now that it's down on "paper".

Have a great day, everyone!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAGE150 10/26/2014 11:14AM

    Living with bipolar disorder is very difficult. I know. On top of the fact that he was in love with you and was probably just trying to do the honorable thing and not wreck your marriage? I don't know what makes us have such vivid dreams of people who have impacted our lives sometimes in retrospect for what seems for just a moment in the total span of our lives. Maybe that's all it was supposed to be.

Sage

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LIVEDAILY 10/25/2014 8:31PM

    The longer you've lived, the more people there will be that live on in your memory and that will pop up every so often in your dreams. Happens to me all the time. I always wonder what has happened to them. I had a girl friend drop off the face of the earth. Tried calling; writing. No response. No explanation. I know I did nothing wrong, so I just chalk it up to "one of those things" that you'll never get a satisfactory explanation about. These things do happen. But I think about her from time to time.

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SGTCUPCAKE 10/25/2014 2:41PM

    I'm really glad that you seeked therapy during those difficulty times! People don't realize how benefit a therapist/counselor can be during those rough times.

bipolar disorder is rough...sounds like chris was self medicating! I have lost friends in my life time that I have no idea why..sometimes we don't find out why. Just the way it is!

Sounds like you are doing so much better now though.

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FINCHFEEDER80 10/23/2014 1:29PM

    I was in a horrible relationship in 2005. It was short, about six months, but it was brutal. The guy was an emotionally abusive, cheating alcoholic. And very manipulative. I had no idea just how under his thumb he had me until he left. Basically, anything negative that happened, or any way he treated me was my fault kind of crap. My friends had apparently been planning an intervention for me before the guy just up and left, leaving behind a lot of baggage and a Dear John letter on the living room table. I was angry. At first I was just angry at him for just leaving and the way he treated me. And then I was angry at myself for allowing the situation to happen. I really shut down and just shut myself away from the world in general.

My best friend at the time was a guy named Brian. Brian was dating someone else, and by this point in our relationship I wasn't interested in anything romantic with him. I harbored a crush on him for a while, but once I got to know him he was like a brother from another mother. He was also just about the only person I spent any significant time with for most of the first year after that relationship. It was a safe place. Brian wouldn't push me to talk about it, but he would listen when I needed to. And we just enjoyed each other's company. I was "the other woman". He was also the one who introduced me to D&D, which ended up being how I met my husband!

We've kind of drifted off our separate ways a bit. He's moved about 45 minutes down the road with his girlfriend. Plus, he discovered alcohol kind of late in life, so when they do have gatherings at the house it's usually alcohol fueled. And while they have crash space, Sleeping on someone's floor drunk at 34 years old while my husband is at home just isn't that appealing to me. So we don't see each other much. It makes me sad sometimes, but I'll definitely always have love for him. It would be kind of nice if that whole group of us started spending more time together.

I have an ex that part of me will always love who pops up in dreams sometimes, but that's another long story for another day. ;)

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CATTUTT 10/23/2014 1:19PM

    I definitely have one person who continually haunts my dreams. I try so hard to forget this person, but they pop up anyway.

I hope getting this out on your blog made you feel more clear headed about it all, dreams can leave you feeling so messed up.

Good luck at the dentist!

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GSEATON 10/23/2014 12:54PM

    GURL! You are an author and you KNOW it! I hope you are keeping track of all stuff written and some day you are published! Amazing story. For real.

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SIMONEKP 10/23/2014 12:48PM

    I know what you mean, I have an ex that I really thought I would spend the rest of my life with but things didn't work out, I still think of him from time to time and he has randomly appeared in my dreams. He was a really good friend before we started dating and most of the time when I think of him it is of the days when we were just friends.

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GETTING_FIT44 10/23/2014 12:36PM

    I can certainly admit to thinking about people from my past at random moments which happen often. I always thought I was the only one (which has driven me nuts for years!). I think we all do it. I have had to say good-bye to friends who actually come back into my life. I wouldn't act on these thoughts though, I used to with each person and it only created emotional hell because I thought me randomly dreaming about them meant that things would get better if I tried. I've since learned that I don't communicate with anyone I've let go of unless they contact me first. It's rare that they do, but I certainly hate going after people.

Hope you are feeling better about Christ though. Don't worry too much, and now we both know we aren't the only ones who randomly think of people in the past!

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CHICAM 10/23/2014 11:31AM

    Loved reading your story. We all have those dreams of people that just stick in our hearts and mind now and then. Wish life was easier for us all. I have dreams with my late husband. I always believed people are supposed to die in there old ages, but life sprung a very hard one on me and my kids. He died from a meningitis (from a simple cold). He was at the time 31 years old when he passed away, I was 27. The love of my life. I had 2 children Daniel 5 and Elisa 7 years old when he passed away. My heart will always remember him as the love of my life. I thank God for all the good memories I have of him. I re married 13 years ago to a very good man, he also was a widower and new what I had gone through. I am very happy with my husband but will NEVER forget my late husband. I know my husband will also not forget his late wife. We love each other and he is very important to me. My kids love him very much as a dad. But still I love when I have a dream with my late husband. I get to hug him and talk to him. I always ask him in my dreams why did he leave me with our kids? In some dreams he says he went to study to get a better job to help our life get better and in other dreams he says he just had to go and that he was sorry for having left me alone. Poor guy he died and no one wants to die, leaving a wife and children. At least we have these dreams to remember good people in our lives that we cared very much for. emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/23/2014 11:33:16 AM

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BRAINBENTT 10/23/2014 11:29AM

    thank you for sharing

i hope your life is filled with joy going forward

emoticon

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MY9STONEJOURNEY 10/23/2014 11:16AM

    OMG I absolutely LOVE this BLOG!!! I didn't want it to end. I can so relate my year was 2006-2007 Sophomore year my life literally fell to pieces. Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu so much for sharing. WE SURVIVED!!!! You get this special feeling when you go back to a time/event where you knew you COULDN'T make it only to realize YOU DID!!! AMAZEBALLS!!! emoticon

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NUTSNUTSGETEM 10/23/2014 11:11AM

    I went to Catholic School through high school. If you know many Catholics, you'll know that we know our Bible much less than other Christian denominations. But, I guess it was back in freshman year of high school, Sister Inez was trying to change that a bit. So, in religion class, one morning a week, she would have us flip open the Bible randomly and read a verse. I still remember the first one I had to read. It was from the Book of Sirach (which I think is only in the Catholic Old Testament) - kind of like the Book of Wisdom. And the verse was, "Never abandon an old friend. You will never find another to replace him." Probably 25 years-ish later, you made me think of it.

Everyone we meet has some impact one us one way or another - some more than others. Ultimately, it all worked out for you.

But, in terms of letting go - I think I might need to take one of your kettlebells and whack the woman who threw out all of your dog's things. Yes. It's a decade later. But, I think it would make me feel better.

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VERSESTHATHURT 10/23/2014 11:10AM

    I think there are people we encounter that leave a mark on our lives, sometimes good and sometimes bad. We carry a bit of that person with us forever whether we want to or not.

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Fighting For Your Health

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

So now that I have this new kettlebell routine that doesn't require having a video streaming, I've been watching Comcast's Music Choice Rock Channel. I tried the metal channel, because heavy metal is awesome, but unfortunately there's a bit too much death metal and screamo on that channel. The MC Rock Channel is way better, and in spite of occasionally playing Foo Fighters or (ugh) Nickelback, most of the stuff on there is pretty good. I've discovered 3 new bands I like. This week's winner is In This Moment, which is kind of like Pantera with a female singer, but without the exceptional guitar skills of Dimebag Darrell. In This Moment is very heavy, and some of the songs are not for the faint of heart. Not a ton of swearing, so probably safe for kids. Most of it is allusion. So anyway, I heard the song "Sick Like Me" which I LOVED, so I explored them further on Spotify and found the PERFECT song for motivating exercise for me. Without further ado, I give you the lyrics to "Comanche":

I feel the pressure is building in me
My stomachís sick, itís getting harder to breathe
I hear the screaming, I feel the disease
Thereís blood in the air, and there is death on the breeze

Will you come with me?
Will you stand with me?
Would you follow me?
Would you believe with me?
Tell me youíll bleed with me
Tell me youíll die with me

Come on, come on
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Yell it out, do or die
Let me hear your war cry

We wanted peace but you brought this war
We took enough and we canít take any more
With our fists in the air, weíll burn it all to the ground
We will tear your (profanity redacted) empire down

Will you come with me?
Will you stand with me?
Would you follow me?
Would you believe with me?
Tell me youíll bleed with me
Tell me youíll die with me

Come on, come on
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Yell it out, do or die
Let me hear your war cry

We wanted peace but you brought this war
We wanted peace but you brought this war
We wanted peace but you brought this war
We took enough and we wonít take anymore

Will you come with me?
Will you stand with me?
Would you follow me?
Would you believe with me?
Tell me youíll bleed with me
Tell me youíll die with me

Come on, come on
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Yell it out, do or die
Let me hear your war cry

Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Come on, get up
Let me hear your war cry
Yell it out, do or die
Let me hear your war cry

Let me hear your war cry



Okay, so, if you're not into really heavy music, maybe this isn't for you, but it really pumps me up. If I did heavy lifting, this would absolutely be on my playlist. And I'm going to use it as a call to arms for you guys.

This journey or self-betterment we're all on? It's like a war, where the enemy is ourselves. Not other people, not the food, not the couch, but against ourselves and our own minds. And while it might be a war, it's a war we have an excellent chance of winning, if we use the right strategies.

So which of you are going to join me in this fight for health? Which of you are going to work, and sweat, and make the effort? Winning is simple, but not easy. It takes more than the minimum effort. It takes mental strength. It takes being willing to be uncomfortable for a while. It takes believing in yourself. I believe in you. Each and every one of you.

Oh, and this war? It isn't over when you hit maintenance. I'm still in this battle hardcore. I've just switched focus from carpet bombing to sniping. I'm working on building muscle and toning my body. I'm up almost 8 lbs right now. Normally this would freak me out. But my clothes aren't any tighter! If anything my jeans are all baggy now. I'm taking this as a sign that I'm doing something right. The bells are working. My arms look a LOT better. My thighs are looking better. My conditioning is definitely better. I *feel* better. My moods are better. So how is it a loss? IT ISN'T. I'm winning my war. You can win your war too.

Stand with me and win your war.


Weekly Menu

Sunday
Entertaining Portuguese Dinner: Chicken Espetadas, Pico-Style Octopus, Chourico (did you know Portuguese chourico is very low in fat, unlike other sausages?), Sweet Bread, Azorean vegetables, Potato & Onion Casserole

Monday
Chicken & Mixed Nut Honey Mustard Stir Fry
Bok Choy Sauteed in garlic, ginger and soy
White Rice

Tuesday
Bean with Bacon Soup

Wednesday
Ribeye w/ Barley Salad

Thursday
Homemade Pork Lo Mein

Friday
Cupcake Tin Pork Pies, Butternut Squash

Saturday
Spaghetti & Tossed Salad

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NETGYRL 10/24/2014 12:58PM

    Booyah! This is definitely a war and I am in it to win it!

Loved "Sick like me". "Comanche" sounds like something I would hear on an episode of "The Walking Dead". :) Def gets the blood pumping.

Comment edited on: 10/24/2014 12:59:29 PM

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LIVEDAILY 10/22/2014 5:01PM

    Another awesome menu! Pray tell, how does one make cupcake tin pork pies, and how many can one eat?

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JAMIRBLAZE 10/22/2014 8:45AM

    Love In This Moment. "Sick Like Me" is definitely in high rotation at the moment on my Spotify. I like some of the screaming metal at times, but I have to be in the mood. Usually while lifting or running, but not always.

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 10/21/2014 10:12PM

    Love that song!

Thanks for the recommendation!

XOXO

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WISHICOULDFLY 10/21/2014 3:27PM

    OK. I'll come stand with you. But I don't wanna bleed or die. OK? emoticon

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ARRREAGLES 10/21/2014 2:46PM

    with you as the general? Yeah. I'll run through the field screaming and firing my gun.

Thanks for the awesome pep talk!

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GSEATON 10/21/2014 2:35PM

    I kinda was a metal girl, back in the Metallica day, lol. Death metal is NOT for me. Just total screaming and thrash. Love your menus too! Hugs from SP mama!~

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CATTUTT 10/21/2014 2:17PM

    Love the lyrics of that song!

And you are right, the war is with ourselves. I like to blame other things... especially my diabetes... but the war is with me.

Your menu sounds delectable, as always!

Hope you're having a great Tuesday!

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First World Problems

Friday, October 17, 2014

Yeah. It's me again.

I have a serious first world problem.

My name is Andrea. I'm 33 years old. And I have no clue how to dress my body.

*the crowd murmurs "hi Andrea"*

Okay so maybe that's not entirely true. What I mean is I have no CONFIDENCE in dressing my body. I hem and haw and spend hours if not days mulling over whether or not a fashion choice I make actually looks good, or if I am secretly making a giant joke out of myself.

This week my problem is my skinny jeans. I like them, a lot, and I think they look cute on me... BUT... it's getting colder... and the flats I've been wearing them are old and tattered and too big. I need replacement shoes. I WANT shoes that are a) cute, b) good for daily wear including walking the dog, and c) cover me up enough for fall.

I found a pair of ankle boots that were cute. I tried them on. They were all of the above except... I'm not sure they GO WITH THE SKINNY JEANS. And what bugs me the most about it is I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY. There is an itty bitty gap between the top of the boots and the bottom of the jeans. My skinnies are long. I'm not sure if that tiny gap should be there or not! ARGH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!



I think I'm fine with the actual clothing part... but... shoes? I feel like a lost puppy. Maybe I should just snag another pair of flats not dissimilar to my old ones. *sigh* Maybe I should stop wearing skinny jeans. HOW DID I GET TO MY 30s WITHOUT LEARNING THIS STUFF?! (I mean, I *know* how. My adoptive mom was a tomboy and so is my birth mom. ARGH. No wonder people wear Uggs and flipflops all the time. It helps you avoid making an actual shoe choice. *sigh*) I think it's ridiculous that it's upsetting me. I'm just feeling like there's a fine line between someone my age looking casual cute and someone my age looking like they're trying to be a teenager.

I guess I should have taken a picture and asked you guys. I was just kind of tired and upset and frustrated and it took me five years to convince my husband that you DO NOT WEAR WHITE ATHLETIC SOCKS WITH BLACK MEN'S DRESS SHOES, so he is quite literally NO HELP. "You look good even if you just wear a paper bag, dear." It's a very sweet sentiment but it doesn't help me decide anything.

I am super insecure about shoes.

I'm not really looking for help just need to vent.

A lot of the problem is $$$. If I had unlimited funds I would have a much easier time of it. But with the repairs to my car, and the new car, and Christmas coming... it's just stressing me.

Sorry for the down note post, peeps. It's amazing what will set me off these days. I'm so totally cool, calm and collected about so many things but then it comes to clothes and I'm like OH MAH GAWD WHAT DO I DO. Haha.

Anyway, thanks for letting me get it out. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POMATOJUICE 10/22/2014 1:11PM

    I would have all sorts of opinions with a pic! Honestly, though, for where you live, you could get away with all sorts of kinds of boots. I freaking love boots. Fall is for boots! Ankle boots, mid calf, knee high! Invest in a pair you like& you can wear them over skinny jeans, leggings, or with skirts!

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VERSESTHATHURT 10/21/2014 10:00AM

    So... I have a Gwynnie Bee subscription and one of the extra perks is the pictures of the models wearing the clothes. Even if that particular item isn't something I like, seeing what shoes, jewelry, etc that they paired with it is helpful. Because I also have no idea how to dress myself.

And, I really want some boots and/ankle boots but my legs are so freaking huge I don't even know if wide-calf would get the job done. It makes me sad.

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AHTRAP 10/20/2014 10:55PM

    What if the 'dress' shoes are more like work shoes/loafers? Are white socks okay then? All these silly rules to remember...

hope you've solved your dilemma

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FINCHFEEDER80 10/20/2014 2:39PM

    P.S. Ran into a girl in the kitchen here at work who was wearing ankle length jeans and ankle boots. She was showing a little skin, if that helps you at all.

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UNSWEETMAMA 10/20/2014 11:42AM

    I wear Crocs every day. So, yeah. I'm wouldn't be any help if you were asking for it.

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FINCHFEEDER80 10/20/2014 9:50AM

    I am honestly no help at all. I also have a 29" inseam so it is extrodinarily rare that I have this problem. I enjoy wearing skinny jeans as well but I don't have any ankle length boots. Those seem to never really come in no or low heels. I have several mid calf, and I am always in search of a knee high pair I can actually zip up over my big old man calves. I'm going to go with everyone else, if you like the way it looks, it's comfortable and makes you happy, then roll with it. I think when you exude confidence and you own what you are wearing, then no one gives is a second thought! I would be such a shoe hound if I had unlimited funds!

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ANNABELLISABEL 10/19/2014 8:50PM

    Wear what you like! If you don't love that the boots don't cover your jeans, maybe opt for mid-calf boots, do what you're comfortable in.

My fiance says the same paper-bag line, so sweet but totally not what I'm asking for! lol.



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SGTCUPCAKE 10/18/2014 1:43PM

    I was curious about ankle boots too now that you mentioned it. Here is this blogger's suggestions:

http://sarahsre
allife.com/2014/01/10/how-to-we
ar-ankle-boots-part-deux/

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SGTCUPCAKE 10/18/2014 1:34PM

    Can you take pictures? I'm a bit of a fashionista and I get compliments daily on the clothes that I put together. It may sound like I'm bragging...but if you had seen how i dressed in high school (addidas pants and XXL t shirts...I didn't even own a real bra), I have come a LONG LONG LONG way. I'm a meaty girl, with thick thighs but I have learned how to balance skinny jeans with my top half without looking like a total pear. I personally think that ankle boots can be a little difficult to pull off if you are not rail thin (just my opinion).Would love to see a picture if you can take one.

Also, are you on pinterest? I get a lot of outfit ideas on pinterest. Here is my board:
http://www.pinterest.com/carly_
castro/class-n-sass/

By the way I have over 40 pairs of shoes so I like choices with skinny jeans :)
I like Knee boots with skinny jeans
Flats
Toms look great with skinny jeans too for a more casual look
Heels also work really well with skinny jeans BUT they are not really great for walking the dog

Let me know if you are not able to view the Pinterest board!

I agree with everyone else though, it IS about confidence. If you are unsure if the style you have put together may or may not work, then other people will sense it.


As for the money situation, how much can you afford to spend on a nice pair of LONG LASTING shoes?

Comment edited on: 10/18/2014 1:39:21 PM

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HONEYBEESBLISS 10/18/2014 1:00PM

    P.S. I pinterested it and found out that you ARE supposed to have a gap in some way most of the time with ankle boots...some people say it's wrong to have the jeans go over the boots but then there are others who say that's not wrong either...very subjective but at least I have more ideas for wearing mine!!! HAHAHAHAHA Mostly the secret is to not make your ankles look fat...if you do that you are correct no matter what you do. LOL ;-D

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CATTUTT 10/18/2014 12:56PM

    I fully sympathize with you and not wanting to look like you're trying to be a teenager. I feel so torn between not wanting to look older than I am, but not wanting to look like I"m trying to hard to hang on to lost youth. It IS really frustrating.

Hope today is a better day!

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HONEYBEESBLISS 10/18/2014 12:27PM

    LOL I'm not sure if the gap would be bad or not, but I am going to take a (what I think is) educated guess and say it's probably not an issue since lately there's a trend of rolling up the hem of pants to make a gap between your pants and shoes AND because there are ankle length jeans too that also create that gap on purpose. So I believe that it does work. Also I've seen them pair those shoes with dresses or shorts which to me feels weird but I think it looks cute on others, but on me nah...maybe 'cause I'm short I feel like it cuts me off weirdly.

Also from what I see of fashion watching things like Project Runway it's more about personal style than anything else. Sure there's always gonna be "guru's" who might say this or that is right and this or that is wrong but really for the average person it doesn't really matter. Plus I might have bad "taste" myself since some things I LOVE of PR and the judges won't like!!! HA! So who knows in a way. I think it's more subjective than anything else and things that used to be perfect fashion sense are now no-no's! Like they will roast a designer who is too matchy-matchy with accessories, yet I can't help but match most of the time so does that mean I have bad taste? Maybe if I was trying to be a designer on Project Runway!!! LOL But I'm me, you are you, and basically we all get to wear what we think looks awesome and own it! So if you love it rock it!!! If you hate it ditch it! But I don't think you have to fear looking like a teen, your taste is not teen taste so I don't think you'll accidentally do it, you'd have to go shopping in the juniors section and put on the loud crop tops with bow in the back with a huge opening in the back so that you can't wear a bra and tight loud leggings with those ankle boots to look like you are trying to be a teen!!! HAHA Mostly it's some of the more teen prints that you have to worry about, and also the junior stuff tends to be really revealing too. So don't worry about it so much and just do what feels awesome to you! It's about expressing YOU.

Also I wouldn't mind seeing a photo if you wanted to post one!

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WISHICOULDFLY 10/18/2014 11:12AM

    What a fabulous problem to have. No more "what makes me not look as fat" to "What fashion combo do I like the best on my smokin' hot bod?" emoticon on replacing fat woes with fashion ones! emoticon I want to have these "problems" too!

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 10/18/2014 8:20AM

    LOL! I love hearing about such "problems" my dear.

You legs are looking amazing on the photos so you may not want to cover them up, but every consider a pair of long boots? So many cute options for that.

Or, just go with the tried and true flats!

Let us know what happens. The suspense is killing me....

emoticon

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BUBBLEJ1 10/18/2014 4:03AM

    I wear my skinny jeans with my sketchers. In fact, I wear everything with my sketchers, including a maxi dresses. I almost wore a white pair on my wedding day, but my bridesmaid had a fit and told me not to. I'm on my 3rd pair and I think they are the best shoe in the whole world. I don't know if I'm fashionable or not. My critics are 5 and think that I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

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ICEDEMETER 10/17/2014 11:22PM

    OK, first of all, keep in mind the one thing that makes any outfit look like a great fashion statement: CONFIDENCE. When you put something on and look in the mirror and think "oh yeah - I'm rockin' this", then you're good to go! What is currently in style, or supposedly more suitable for a different generation, or whatever other thing is totally irrelevant - if you love how YOU look in it, then it is YOUR style.

The best way to be confident in an outfit is to feel totally comfortable in it, and to know that it is suitable for where you are. You wouldn't want to be wearing that hot anniversary dress and heels to walk the dog - but a pair of skinny jeans and a pair of comfortable booties? Yup, perfect.

You didn't get that feeling from those particular boots paired with your skinny jeans, so I'd be inclined to keep looking until you get the ones that you instantly love.

Personally, I'm old and chill easily, so wouldn't go for the "gap" between boots and jeans simply from the perspective that I would get cold. A pair of high wool socks would fix that quite nicely. That said - I love boots and have everything from hikers to knee-high stiletto, and wear ankle-boots with my skinny jeans (usually the ones with 1-1/2" heels), but mine go just high enough that there is no gap.

If you're still looking, then try some low-calf height boots, with a 1" riding heel --- comfortable enough to wear all day, even standing on concrete, but can go easily with any leg-width on a pant, or with a skirt or dress. When you find the "right" ones, you'll know it - with no question!

This whole "dressing the new body" thing does have its challenges...


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SCRAPPYGAMBLER 10/17/2014 10:40PM

    If the ankle boots/or skinny jeans were too short add a pair of long (thick) socks! I always wear a pair of Timberlands with a long pair of socks over my skinny jeans. They just look like they belong together also...what about gym shoes?

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LIVEDAILY 10/17/2014 10:07PM

    Breathe. This, too, shall pass.

A wee bit of advice: wear what YOU like wearing.

I love Crocs flip flops. I own a pair in navy, black, turquoise, red, yellow, lime green, pink, and purple. I won't wear them to school, but they're on my feet the minute I get home. I have a pair of dusty red cowboy boots, low. 2 pairs of Minnetonka moccasins, navy and brown. THREE pairs of sneakers/running shoes/athletic shoes. One pair of chucks, low tops. 1 pair of winter hiking/snow boots. What do I wear to school EVERY. SINGLE. Day? The athletic shoes, simply because my school is a 4 story building, and on any given day I can walk up and down the stairs of all 4 floors at least once and I HAVE to have comfortable, supportive shoes on my feet. Personally, I cannot comprehend how women wear heels all day, but that's me. If my feet are happy, then I'm a happy camper.

If you like wearing flats, then go and buy another pair of flats! TJMaxx, Marshalls, Kohls, and HomeGoods often have great shoes for less (that's where I got my Minnetonkas, 'cause there was no way I was going to pay $70 for a pair of leather flats!!) Flats look cute with jeans!

The ankle boots were probably just fine. Have you tried getting jeans in a "tall" size? They'd be a bit longer for you, and you might have enough play with the length that you could tuck them in a bit, inside the boot. But then I've seen women wear ankle boots with skirts - so, again, it's wearing what YOU like.

Yours Hubs is a sweetie.

emoticon

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