Friday, October 17, 2014
Yeah. It's me again.
I have a serious first world problem.
My name is Andrea. I'm 33 years old. And I have no clue how to dress my body.
*the crowd murmurs "hi Andrea"*
Okay so maybe that's not entirely true. What I mean is I have no CONFIDENCE in dressing my body. I hem and haw and spend hours if not days mulling over whether or not a fashion choice I make actually looks good, or if I am secretly making a giant joke out of myself.
This week my problem is my skinny jeans. I like them, a lot, and I think they look cute on me... BUT... it's getting colder... and the flats I've been wearing them are old and tattered and too big. I need replacement shoes. I WANT shoes that are a) cute, b) good for daily wear including walking the dog, and c) cover me up enough for fall.
I found a pair of ankle boots that were cute. I tried them on. They were all of the above except... I'm not sure they GO WITH THE SKINNY JEANS. And what bugs me the most about it is I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY. There is an itty bitty gap between the top of the boots and the bottom of the jeans. My skinnies are long. I'm not sure if that tiny gap should be there or not! ARGH. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!
I think I'm fine with the actual clothing part... but... shoes? I feel like a lost puppy. Maybe I should just snag another pair of flats not dissimilar to my old ones. *sigh* Maybe I should stop wearing skinny jeans. HOW DID I GET TO MY 30s WITHOUT LEARNING THIS STUFF?! (I mean, I *know* how. My adoptive mom was a tomboy and so is my birth mom. ARGH. No wonder people wear Uggs and flipflops all the time. It helps you avoid making an actual shoe choice. *sigh*) I think it's ridiculous that it's upsetting me. I'm just feeling like there's a fine line between someone my age looking casual cute and someone my age looking like they're trying to be a teenager.
I guess I should have taken a picture and asked you guys. I was just kind of tired and upset and frustrated and it took me five years to convince my husband that you DO NOT WEAR WHITE ATHLETIC SOCKS WITH BLACK MEN'S DRESS SHOES, so he is quite literally NO HELP. "You look good even if you just wear a paper bag, dear." It's a very sweet sentiment but it doesn't help me decide anything.
I am super insecure about shoes.
I'm not really looking for help just need to vent.
A lot of the problem is $$$. If I had unlimited funds I would have a much easier time of it. But with the repairs to my car, and the new car, and Christmas coming... it's just stressing me.
Sorry for the down note post, peeps. It's amazing what will set me off these days. I'm so totally cool, calm and collected about so many things but then it comes to clothes and I'm like OH MAH GAWD WHAT DO I DO. Haha.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get it out.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
You know. That person who loves working out. That person who thinks sweat is an accomplishment.
When did this happen?
It must have been slow and over time. Or maybe... just maybe... I really have found the workout that I truly love.
I know you guys have heard me ramble about my kettlebell and how much I love it. More than a month later and it's still true. I've stepped up my workout twice already! I bought my new best friend on September 2nd and have gone from doing an 8 minute workout to doing a 30 minute workout with 30 minutes of abs. I work out for an HOUR now three days a week. WTH?! And I FREAKING LOVE IT.
My weight is up, but my measurements are not up, so it's got to be muscle or water or something. I feel stronger, I am stronger, and it has been mentioned to me that I have more definition, even if I don't see it. My clothes certainly don't feel tighter, so I can't be screwing it up!
I did my first session of my new workout this morning. And I was SWEATY.
Look at my back!
I also had sweat rolling down my neck.
When I was fat, I hated sweating. It was gross. Now it's an achievement, a goal.
This is just more evidence that we all need to find the things we LOVE to do, and then it doesn't feel like work(ing out).
I love hiking, I love kettlebells. I'm going to just keep on doing what I love.
YOU CAN DO IT TOO!
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
(This blog brought to you in part by The Tea Party's "Luxuria")
I want to dwell in yesterday a little longer. I want to remember the overcast, cool day, the mountains and trees and sky, the moist chill in the air, the mist on my face as we sat by the pond.
The day started out slow. Mondays are bells days for me, and I really love bells day. I have a routine now. Up at 5, coffee, reading, maybe get some bookkeeping work done, have some nuts to get some energy. Around 6:15, get on my workout clothes, setup the PS3 to play YouTube, get my video set up, fill my water cup. I get my bell out in the middle of the floor and tie my sneakers. And then I work up a sweat. But this Monday didn't start like that, because I was finally, after 10 months of waiting, doing my 100-lb lost reward hike.
I took my time and packed my backpack: two bottles of water, homemade trailmix (half ounce of cocktail peanuts, 8 Ghirardelli 60% chocolate chips, 3 dried apricots), a Lemon Zest Luna Bar, a small apple, an umbrella, a sleeveless vest, a pair of leather gloves, some Wet Ones, a small pocket knife, my sunglasses, and of course my phone to take pictures. I had made two cds of podcasts: The Instance and StarTalk Radio. I walked Bingley, hopped in the car, popped in the cd of The Instance, and got rolling. I wanted something more than music to accompany me on the hour and fifteen minute drive up the NJ Turnpike, something to distract my thoughts.
The drive was smooth, despite going through major construction, and as I drove from exit 3 to exit 9 I was pleased to see the state had planned wildflowers in pinks, whites and purples along the 'Pike as part of a beautification project. Which is a good thing, considering most people traveling through NJ travel this road, as it is also route 95, which as far as I know goes from Maine to Miami. So when people talk about NJ being cruddy, this is the drive they're talking about. I saw license plates from Texas, Illinois, Maryland, New York, Pennsylvania, Quebec, Kentucky and a few more I can't remember.
I made it to my bestie's house and then she took over the driving. We stopped in Chester to have brunch, where I thoroughly enjoyed a Monte Cristo, which is one of my diner favorites. We chatted a lot: the sorts of conversations the ladies on Sex and the City often have, the type of stuff you can only really talk about with a bestie, with whom you can talk about almost anything. It wasn't far to the trail from there: we stopped at the visitors center to grab maps then drove to the Douglas Trail parking lot. After a quick pee break we headed up the trail!
(Looking back the way we came)
(The freakin' colors)
(The giant stump)
I was super excited because I really wanted to compare it to the last time I did the same hike. It was October 2011, and I was 275 lbs. Yesterday I was around 165. So 110 lbs lighter than the last time. The difference was awesome. I can't remember too much of the hike from before, only that it took us almost 50% longer. We stopped a lot more the first time. The ascent was challenging, but not terribly difficult. We had to stop a few times for bestie to catch her breath, and she hikes frequently! I didn't feel like I *had* to stop, but the breaks were nice. I guess all the working out I've been doing has been conditioning me. On the way we saw a huge tree that had fallen, the base of which was taller than my 5'2" tall bestie. Further along we came by a stream. We climbed the 1150 foot elevation in about an hour and 15 minutes, moving from Douglas Trail to the Appalachian Trail and reaching Sunfish Pond. Once at Sunfish Pond we sat on a nice stone bench and ate snacks and chatted a while before traversing the rockiest part of our route, which was the part of the AT that skims the edge of Sunfish Pond. The rocks are large and loose, and you need to be careful, but there are trees close to the edge of the trail we used to help us move safely. Near the end of the section of the AT we were planning to follow is an area where people build little structures out of the stones. It was getting late, so we didn't stop to look. We finished the AT portion of the trail, and turned at Garvey Springs Trail.
(The colors of garnet and peridot)
(Appalachian Trail sign)
(on the AT)
(Sunfish Pond Sign)
(Sunfish Pond from the bench)
(bestie with lichen covered rocks)
Garvey Springs Trail is very steep, and it was slick from the leaves and the mist, and the rocks are loose. Yet I managed to make it to the bottom without injuring myself, which is a small miracle considering I fell twice and I am a super mega klutzoid. Like, seriously. I could be standing still and lose my balance. I blame it on having a ton of ear infections as a child and being top heavy. *shrugs* So the worst injury I sustained was a teensy tiny scratch on my ringfinger from a thorny bush. The descent, like I said, was difficult: I could really feel it in my knees and thighs, and I was a bit afraid of breaking a kneecap!
We got back to the car around 4 PM, making the round trip just over 3 hours. Not bad for 5+ miles and 1150 feet of elevation I don't think. I got home just after 7 PM and enjoyed a nice bowl of homemade chili, which was perfect considering I was chilled and tired. And let me tell you, a hot shower feels AMAZEBALLS after a long hike.
Today I'm just relaxing as much as possible, and right this second I'm enjoying "Coco Paradise" from Graze, which is Belgian Milk Chocolate, Coconut and Dried Cranberries. Yum! The only plan for tonight is to manage to stay awake long enough to watch Agents of Shield.
Here's the menu for the rest of the week:
Tues: Chicken Paillards in Lemon Butter Sauce with White Rice and a Veggie
Weds: Open Faced Roast Beef Sandwiches w/ Mashed Potatoes and a Veggie
Thurs: Chili Spaghetti
Friday: Buffalo Chicken Thighs w/ Crudite and Baked Potatoes
Saturday: Soup, Grilled Cheese and Tossed Salad
SIDE NOTE: Tori Amos' "Mother" just came on my Spotify and my god how beautiful is her voice in the chorus?
Mother the car is here
Somebody leave the light on
Black chariot for the redhead DANCING dancing girl
He's gonna change my name
Maybe you'll leave the light on
Just in just in case I like the dancing I can remember where I come from
Hope your week is going well!
Saturday, October 11, 2014
(this blog is brought to you in part by Florence + The Machine's Bedroom Hymns)
I'm going to delay my vlog until tomorrow when the weather's better, because it's really cruddy and muddy and I have 2 dogs to watch today (watching Bossman's dog) and I think what I'm going to do is drag them to the park with me and tie them up at a pavilion of I can snag one.
Last night I stayed up late having a fantastic chat with a friend and watching Bill Maher's HBO special, so I didn't get to bed until midnight, and 5 am comes early. Then I realized I was out of coffee. Boo. But still woke up in a dang good mood and have been pretty chipper all day. Despite some of the crap going on, life is pretty good. Isn't it nice to have friends with which you can discuss your passions? Especially super nerdy passions like books and geometry and physics and art and architecture and stuff like that. (Nerd alert!)
So this morning I went to the Collingswood Book Fair with Underling Josh. The weather, like I said above, was cruddy, so they had it inside the middle school and high school, which are right next to each other. The used books were outside under the covered walkways and in tents, and the new books and their authors were inside the buildings. We started with the used paperbacks. TEN FOR A DOLLAR. Uhm, yes please I'll take ten book for less than a cup of coffee. There were actually several things I was interested in for that price. I got:
- Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep - Philip K. Dick (this was made into Blade Runner the movie)
- Othello and A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare (Othello has been a theme in conversations I've had this week)
- Firestarter, Duma Key and The Dark Half by Stephen King (I like Stephen King well enough to pay 10 cents for his books or borrow them from the library. I really like how good is is at writing a sense of dread/unease)
- Micro by Michael Crichton (He can't end a book for sh*t but I like him)
- Slayride and Driving Force by Dick Francis (These are private detective mysteries with a horse racing theme)
- Into the Green by Charles de Lint (I've heard nothing but good things about Charles de Lint so I figured for a dime I could check him out)
Unfortunately though, I had planned on getting a soft pretzel from The Philly Pretzel factory. This would be fine except the minimum you can buy is 3. I was so hungry (since it was noon and I hadn't eaten since 7) that I ate two of them. I'm going to push my lunch back a while and eat a light dinner. Yeah, that's about 600 calories of no nutrition at all, and 2 days worth of sodium. Meh. I'll burn it off Monday on my hike.
It was really nice to have a real conversation with Josh today. His wife went through something very similar to what my husband is going through right now, so he has some insight. He tells it how it is, instead of smoothing over stuff. It really helps. In the meantime, I'm just throwing myself into things I enjoy, like art, architecture, writing, and other stuff. I'm awash in a sea of beautiful things right now, and I'll ride that wave as long as I can, taking everything as it comes. Because I'm not going to sit around and be miserable in the prime of my life. I'm going to enjoy this time as much as I can. I'm going to really take the time and savor every minute of it. Because if you don't enjoy your life, are you really living?
Still tracking, still rocking the bells workout. In fact, I might even step it up again next week. I'm not saying what I'm doing is easy, but I'm really ready to work harder and see some visible results. I'm definitely getting stronger. In just over a month I've moved from an 8 minute workout to a 30 minute workout plus ab work. What I might do is a longer, harder routine MWF, with ab work on TR to balance it out a bit. Nothing's changing until after my hike though, which is still Monday, yay! I can't wait to show you all pics and compare them to my old ones. I need to figure out what to wear though. I'm going to layer. That way I can take stuff off if necessary. It's cold and damp today but it's supposed to warm up by Monday. We'll see.
Anyhoo, gonna go get another dose of vice by watching The Knick, then I'm going to do a little reading and curl up under a blanket and pretend I have a fireplace. I wonder if Comcast has put their Yule log up on On Demand yet???
Hope you're all having a great weekend!
Get An Email Alert Each Time ADARKARA Posts