Sunday, June 02, 2013
Just a quick update- I'm down 23lbs in 7 weeks, 32 since my highest weight in February. I'm so proud of myself. I know I have quite a ways to go still, but I'm making sure to give myself credit for how far I've come!
Yesterday I went to the movies with my parents, and I was shocked to see how different I looked in the movie theater bathroom. It was the most "myself" I've looked in almost 3 years. I can see my old self in my face now. I knew I was still in there somewhere, and I'm starting to remember who I really am, if that makes any sense. Anyway, it was weird to not strongly despise the reflection I saw in the mirror. I've had pretty intense body dismorphia for most of my life, so I still battle in my head with the whole "well, maybe I'm thinner/fatter than I think I am", and all that crap. But it feels good to start accepting myself, even though I still want to change, if that makes any sense. I was also really stoked that I was able to wear my size 16 pants the whole day! They fit perfectly in the legs and waist now. Holy crap.
I'm having a hard time trying to find the balance of what I can and can't do with this hiatal hernia. The pain/acid/discomfort are insane. Went back to the doctor on Friday and it looks like I'm going to need another upper endoscopy and quite likely it'll need to be fixed surgically and I'll need to have my gallbladder out. I'm not worried about the procedures themselves, but I don't know how I'm gonna pay for them without insurance. I know I really do need to get back to a gastroenterologist, though, with all these symptoms and my IBS acting up. Maybe they'll let me set up a payment plan. I gotta do something, though.
Hope everyone's having a great weekend!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
So Wednesday marked the end of the 6 week Intervention phase on the Protein Power plan and the phrase that comes to mind is "IT'S WORKING!!". So far it's going wonderfully, I'm so pleased. I did my measurements this morning and I've lost 23 1/2 inches in 52 days. What!!! I know! I'm noticing even more changes like feeling my thighs are thinner when walking up stairs, noticing my arm looks thinner, and I had to make a smaller notch on my belt (and that notch is already a little big so I'll need to make another one soon- or get a new belt!) I was also able to fit in a pair of size 16 pants this week!! The waist was a little tight, but the legs and hips were perfect. Not too shabby seeing as 6 weeks ago my size 18 pants were snug. I was even able to wear a pair of jeans this week that I bought over a year ago and was only able to wear 3 times before they were too small. I'd been saving them on the off chance I'd actually be able to fit in them someday, and now I can wear them! I've also noticed I can pull up pants higher since my belly isn't as big and squashing them down anymore.
I got my official reward for completing the 6 week Intervention phase on Thursday- a beautiful deep red lipstick from Lime Crime called Velvetines. I got it in Red Velvet, and I swear, it's like the heavens answered all my prayers from the past 9 years for the perfect blue-based red lipstick. (And before anyone reading this gets weirded out that I'm so obsessed with a lipstick, keep in mind that I'm an aspiring makeup artist, haha) I'll try to take some pictures the next time I wear it so I can do a post/review. So far I'm completely in love! I also got a little bonus present for myself this week since my favorite band, Eisley, came out with their new album, Currents. Actually, it's not officially out until Tuesday, but somehow I got it in the mail this past Thursday, but no complaints here! It came with a free poster, and this is gonna sound so cheesy, but it's such an inspirational image. The girls in the band are all so beautiful in their dresses and fun shoes and pretty hair. It's what I aspire to be, happy and doing what I love. See, cheesy, right? But you can't help what inspires you, I guess. I'm bummed that I won't be able to see them on their upcoming tour since the shows will be at bigger venues without seats and that's just not do-able with CFIDS right now. I've seen them twice before and met them in 2004. I brought my Mom to see them in Savannah when they came last March, and it was amazing. I'm so stoked for their new album.
One sort of wrench in the otherwise smooth sailing has been being diagnosed with a hiatal hernia last week. I'd been having burning/sharp stomach and chest pains, mainly in my esophagus, for a few weeks, but thought it was just a pulled muscle or something. But last weekend the pain got pretty bad and I kept almost passing out (which I'm assuming was from too little Potassium, and not the hernia, but I could be wrong), so I went to the doctor on Monday. He gave me a few prescriptions to help with the symptoms and I'm supposed to go back in a month to see if I'll need another upper endoscopy which would determine if I need surgery to fix it. It's been almost a week and the medicines don't seem to be touching it, if anything the symptoms seem worse, but I called them yesterday and they said the meds wouldn't be fully working yet and to call back on Tuesday if it's not better. So I'm just trying to tough it out. It's frustrating, being someone who never asks for help or makes a fuss unless something is significantly wrong, and when I finally do reach out I'm sort of shut down. But maybe they're right and I'll start feeling better soon. I was advised to not do my normal (already very small) amount of working out except I could keep walking, so I plan to keep that up. I'm sort of nervous for next week's weigh-in between being sick and moving into the next phase of Protein Power. But I won't know until I see the numbers, so I guess I'll just keep doing my best and know I'll be able to buckle down a little more when I start feeling better.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. Remember to take a little time to do something fun for yourself.
Thursday, May 09, 2013
So I'm at the end of week 4 and I've lost 15 lbs so far!! And 5 of that was this last week! If I had any doubt that this plan would work, this is the proof. (Yes, I realize that just sounded like a cheesy infomercial...) I didn't think I could do it for 2 weeks, let alone 4. So now I'm going to do 2 more weeks on this "intervention" phase (for 6 total weeks), and then up my carbs a little bit and follow that until I reach my goal weight and/or until I'm happy with my size.
I know everybody's heard that saying "It takes 4 weeks for you to notice changes, 8 weeks for people close to you, and 12 weeks for strangers" (or something like that), but other people have already pointed out that it looks like I've lost weight in my face, neck and waist, so that's pretty cool. I'm going to wait until the end of week 6 to officially do my measurements. I don't think I've ever been actually excited to measure myself before, but I really am!
Last night was the last session with the weight loss group I've been going to. I have to admit, I'm pretty bummed it's over. I was scared to even go in the first place, but the group leaders were so cool and relatable and uplifting. I've learned so many essential tips and tools (and this is coming from someone who thought they knew everything there is to know about dieting), and I'm glad I have my binder full of the info to refer back to. I'm also going to pick up the Beck Diet book that the course was based on. I even got an official certificate for completing the course! I'm going to frame it and put it on my wall for continued motivation :) The girls who ran the course want me to send them a picture when I get down to my goal weight. I warned them that it'll probably be about 2 years, but I'm definitely going to. They've helped me so much, I'm so thankful.
I have to admit, things haven't been all sunshine and roses lately. Just gonna be honest. I mean, I already told the whole world how much I weigh on here, might as well be an open book... My health is less than stellar right now. My IBS is acting up hardcore, and I'm having more pain from Fibro/CFS, to name a few. I've also started seeing a new doctor who is taking me off my anxiety and ADD meds and switching me to new things that I don't feel very hopeful about. But I'm just trying to be easy on myself, rest a lot, and do things I enjoy when I have a little energy. I am very proud to say that I've stuck to the weight loss plan through all of this, though I have to admit I haven't been working out as often. I'm going to try to get out and walk a little this weekend since it looks like it will be better weather than last weekend. Just tying to take it easy. But I'm making sure to give myself credit (which I learned to do in the group!) every time I do something positive. And I'm giving myself lots of credit today after that weigh in! :)
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Had my third weigh-in today and I lost 2 lbs! I have to admit, I was a little bummed that it wasn't more since I lost 6 the first week. But I'm still stoked! Plus, this is still on the high end of what I had hoped to lose in a week (aiming for 1-2 lbs a week), and I think (or at least I've read) that losing weight more slowly will help you to not have excess skin. Not sure how true that is, but it makes me feel better to think it. I've also noticed that my face is thinner! I was washing my face last weekend and glanced in the mirror and had a little flash of what I used to look like. My family can see it, too, and they say I'm looking smaller in my waist. I also had to go one notch smaller on my belt yesterday!! I'm gonna have to start making new holes!
One thing that's really been helping me is this weight loss group that I've been going to that's run by a local college. It started out with 4 people, including myself, then only 2 the second week, and since then it's been just me but that's been kinda cool since we get to talk about stuff that I want to work on and build skills for overcoming the difficulties that come with a major lifestyle change. The girls that run it are super nice and helpful and they've been through weight struggles, too. The program is based on the Beck Diet book and it's cognitive based, which I really like cause I tend to have emotional attachments to food (don't we all?), and "sabotaging thoughts". I was scared to even start going, but I'm really glad I have, I'm learning some pretty good tools.
Also, I know this might seem kind of little and silly to some of the people that have been on here for a while, but I just got to Level 3 (250 SparkPoints), and I'm pretty excited. I hope someday I'll look back at this post and laugh cause I'll be at a way higher level, but still, kind of excited.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Just a small update- I had my second weigh-in yesterday, my first since starting this plan, and I lost 6 lbs last week! I realise that could mostly be water weight, but I was shocked! Especially since I had the odds stacked against me with having PMS (Sorry to any dudes reading this. Maybe I should have had a "lady bits speak" spoiler alert...) and being sick (a pretty bad cold/sinus infection), but I managed to stay mostly on track and didn't give in to any cravings for junk food. I do realise that I won't lose this much every week, but it was a nice jump start to keep me inspired!
I feel sort of futile posting about my weight this week with everything that's been going on in Boston. It is a city that holds a very dear place in my heart, one of my favorite places I've ever been. I spent quite a bit of time there in my teen years, going to concerts or just walking around Harvard Square or getting food at Fanual Hall (Pizzeria Regina, nomnomnom). I have quite a few friends and family members that live and work there, and they were all fortunate enough to not be harmed on Monday. I have only heard from one of them today so far, though. She heard the explosives last night, and is currently still in lockdown. It's always horrifying when something like this happens, but I find this especially scary since it hits so close to home. One thing I can say is that I've never been more proud to be a New Englander than I have this week. I think our true colors have brightly shown in the way all the police officers, firefighters, ambulances, civilians, and everyone else that didn't even think twice to run directly into the sights of the bombings so they could help the injured, and how cooperative they've been staying off the streets and allowing their homes to be searched willingly. I thought the memorial yesterday was beautiful as well. My thoughts and prayers are with anyone touched by this. Hopefully the situation with be resolved very soon and without any more injuries or lives lost.
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