ALLIBERRI   17,360
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thinking healthy

Sunday, December 22, 2013

So I am thinking healthy and strong. I have spent some time on interest to see what healthy strong bodies look like and am using them in my daily journaling to keep my minds eye on the prize. Healthy, strong me.
I have learned over the past couple of days that being obsessed about being obsessed with food has not been helpful for me. It is better for me to keep my eyes on the road ahead. I thought about how I used to run and too often it was with my eyes down looking at each step I took. My times were bad and I had more trouble breathing. On the days that I trusted my legs and feet to do their jobs I made better mileage and didn't have so much trouble breathing. I think there is an analogy here....I need to look up and enjoy the life around me.

I am just so glad that it is never too late.
I am glad that I have my spark friends to cheer me on.
(and help pick me up when I trip and fall)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LALMEIDA 12/22/2013 11:07PM

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JUNEAU2010 12/22/2013 8:43PM


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HOTPINKCAMARO49 12/22/2013 8:42PM

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DMEYER4 12/22/2013 8:40PM

  great blog. you can do it

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i can't believe it

Thursday, December 19, 2013

wow,,,how amazing is that? I came to my page and looked at my blog and the very same challenge came up this morning - imagining that I am throwing away my clothes that are too big. I have a whole different visual about it this morning. it is easy to toss those clothes aside and get on with my life. I see myself walking away with a spring in my step on a warm sunny day, happy and content in my life.
it is also a big scary because I am, once again working on my food addictions. I struggled with them about a year ago and am back - working on my recovery. but this time, I am good with it. I know how I got where I got and I know that I did make big strides last time and I am committed to being well. Dr. Pedro Lazaro and Debbie Danowski have come alongside this time with their book "Why Can't I Stop Eating?". it is a well written, caring book about how to gently take a look at your food addictions and how you can help haul yourself out of the hole.
it continues to be difficult to admit that I am a food addict, but by being honest with myself I will reach my goals here on Spark and I will be well.
I suppose my "I can't believe it" title is about being amazed that I am back here working on my addictions and also that I have grown because I see this challenge differently than I did even a month ago. I am dealing with the fears in my life and winning.
Spark on people! IT works.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 12/20/2013 9:27PM

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SANDYSHORES24 12/19/2013 2:24PM

    Way to go!! Keep up the good work!!

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letting it allllll go

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

the spark coach lesson for the day has me imagining that i am dropping off my old larger clothes to a drop off spot. quite frankly, i am having trouble letting go of the bag - all the what ifs of the world are pounding at my brain....what if i need these clothes again, what if no one really cares that i have lost all this weight, what if no one even notices that i have lost all this weight and the biggest one - what if i can't maintain my new weight? what if i stop being diligent and start sliding again...
i hear the roar of super spark guy in my ear "then all you have to do is call spark busters".
i want to believe him and all my spark friends, but it is a very, very scary thought. this is a big, big change in my life. i am afraid.

in actual fact, i am still on my journey to even throwing out the first set of one size too big clothing, and the thought scares me. i am so afraid of failing and then not being able to get back on that wagon. i know that i have made some good friends here, and i know that they will rally around me...but what if i disappoint them????

ahh...small one. remember that i am here, and i am woman - here me roar. you can do anything - for you too are woman. fight back, don't let the demons of the past try to jump on your back. swim harder, run faster, bike longer...and eat well, treat yourself to enough sleep, enjoy your friends and family, laugh a lot...and LIVE. Live now, in the present, not in the dark past, or the foggy future...breathe, and live now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 11/20/2013 12:08AM

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I WILL win!

Thursday, October 03, 2013

feels like a century since i have written here. my long uphill battle continues. i decided to just stay off the wagon for a long while. the wagon is looooong gone, but i am slowly making my way up the hill. it's been a battle. i actually told myself to quit trying and just use food as my solace - until my clothes starting getting tight again. i have been really worn out from my working environment. things finally crashed on September 4th and i made a monumental decision to not let this place kill me. i made a decision to remove myself from the people that were poisoning me and while they still attempt to do so, i am continually using my powers of mind over matter to shield myself from their poison. i have also decided to use exercise and wellness as my solace. when i feel overwhelmed, just pull on my jacket and go for a walk. it doesn't have to be a fast walk unless i choose it to be. i can walk with one of my friends in the building or i can go alone.
the choice is mine. while they may attempt to stop me from doing that too, then i will close the door to my office and do sit ups or push ups off my desk or something to get my energy back.
This is my motto for the month of October:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY4ME 10/16/2013 10:25AM

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CLPURNELL 10/4/2013 10:19PM

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BETHIEMAE75 10/3/2013 10:33AM

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uphill battle

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

first i fell off the wagon, and now i am trying to get back on the wagon, but it seems to be headed uphill at the present moment. i am letting every little 'thing' along the way turn into a lie i tell myself for 'allowing' myself to 'eat better' and 'nourish my body' etc., etc., etc.,
yup, i am being hard on myself, but i am not being honest with myself right now about what i am eating and why i am eating so....
i guise it under 'i need more nutrition while i am healing' - heck - i've healed incision is looking awesome
'i need extra protein because i am weight training more now' - heck, what a great way to see the pounds drop off versus pile on!
'i am just too tired to fix proper food' - but you have extra time to drive out of your way to get fast food when there is good food at home???? duh...that is a no-brainer
'i don't have enough money this month to eat properly' - and I can afford to eat poorly???
'i want to use up the nutritional shakes' - then do girl!
see...everywhere i turn there is an answer for everything...
now just to take those juicy lemons and make them into lemonade, and stop with the yo-yo. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLPURNELL 6/27/2013 7:30PM

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IMAVISION 6/25/2013 12:27PM

    I believe that your being able to recognize where you are going wrong is a vital first step on the road to success.

Make one change at a time - like determining not to allow yourself to purchase any fast food - no matter what. Soon you won't even miss it & be wondering how on earth you ever enjoyed that "garbage". emoticon emoticon

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God bless!

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*RENEAT* 6/25/2013 12:20PM

    baby steps...pick one thing and change it. Next day - pick one more... and so on. You can do it! Slow and steady wins the race!

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