ANGELN325   35,298
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I hate TOM.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The first time I saw or heard of TOM on SparkPeople, I was like, "Who is this dude?" Then I came to realize what it stood for and thought, "Pretty clever." Well, lately I've begun to hate TOM. I know when he's coming. I get emotional and I hate it because it takes all I can to stay positive and at peace as it is. I find myself letting things go in one ear and out the other while still giving me time to grieve for the family members I lost this year, the job I miss, and of course, pray. However, when TOM comes, I start to question everything. Words sting more than usual. I laugh because I have to be tough, but inside I'm crying and wondering what I want to do with my life.

Coupled with my emotions is the lack of energy or the desire to want to sleep, which increases when I do not get good sleep. The last 2 days my daughter has woke up crying and I've comforted her back to sleep and then wake up tired and not wanting to go to work. I so would like a day off, but that's not my life anymore and I have to take off enough time for appointments and stuff like that so I'm then having an argument with myself to quit my complaining and just go do my job. I come home missing my daughter and wanting to spend time with her. Of course, this has just killed my intentions to start back with my exercise program. While I can't put too much on my ankle, I had come up with a plan to do strengthening and cardio that I could do sitting, but Monday I wasn't feeling it in the morning so I thought maybe at work I could do some calisthenics. Didn't happen. Home...missing daughter and played Legos. This morning was the same about my cardio. I still have lunch and hoping I can do something. Even if it's moving my feet like I'm running in place but in a chair would be better than nothing. Trying to fidget a little bit as we speak, but too hard to type and do that at the same time. LOL

To make matters worse, I have an aversion to healthy food. I'm forcing myself to eat grapes right now. Grapes! I generally love grapes. They are so sweet, well, the green ones are more sour than sweet, but still much better for me than chocolate or the other things I've been craving. I've had no desire to cook. I'm like a slug. I will be so happy when TOM is gone and then I can see which stuff is being magnified by TOM and which stuff is things I actually need to deal with. One thing is for sure. No big decisions will be made this week. LOL

Thanks for listening. I know this is not my usual type of blog, but from reading others blogs, we need to share it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM2ACAT 7/23/2014 5:39PM

    I went into menopause early, at the age of 39, because of my cancer treatments.
Even though menopause was an adjustment (especially the hot flashes!) I don't miss TOM at all! I was miserable with it, and it didn't help that I had PMS along with it.

Hang in there, and I hope it gets better! emoticon

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HARROWJET 7/23/2014 10:47AM

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PEZMOM1 7/22/2014 10:33PM

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KOFFEENUT 7/22/2014 12:33PM

    Sometimes the best thing we can do is get it all out so we're not carrying it around, festering inside us. This will pass. You'll find the "want to" inside yourself to do healthy things that will help you be around longer for your wonderful family. You'll take good care of yourself. Take a breath, then pat yourself on the back for coming here and venting about how you're feeling at this moment.

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MCJOYFUL 7/22/2014 12:26PM

    I hear ya. I have mixed feelings about TOM. In a way, I'm happy when he comes because then maybe I'm not close to the big M yet. Although I heard that he can still come then too. But my mood can get sketchy when TOM is near. And chocolate starts calling out to me - not candy necessarily - more like brownies or something more carby. Hang in there, this too shall pass. emoticon

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The adventures of ankle recovery.

Monday, July 21, 2014

This weekend, I did not want to be stopped or limited due to an ankle injury. Where I live, nice, hot weather is around for a limited time and we have to make the most of it. Plus the coupons that Caley earns from her summer reading program expire so every weekend is action packed and precious. There are no weekends to lie around and wish away injuries. So I setup a game plan as I wanted to knock out 2 coupons this weekend.

Saturday we went to the zoo as the weather was perfect. Warm enough that the misting stations would be available, but not so warm that we would be sweating hard and uncomfortable. My Mom was encouraged to go after she heard about my ankle injury because that meant we would be going at a relaxed pace. She's getting older now and because she does not exercise regularly, these outings are especially hard on her. (Another reason to motivate me to be active every day!)

I have discovered if I take small steps, I can walk. This was a necessary discovery for my job so I walk pretty well now. I just take slow, small steps. If I go too fast or my stride becomes too wide, my ankle lets me know and then I have to rest until my ankle can handle it again. Both members were very understanding. I let my daughter hold the map to keep her further entertained. Plus she knew we weren't going to be able to see everything so this would help us plan the most efficient routes. We had to park at a further gate so we didn't come into our usual entrance and saw the giraffes first and then worked our way to the penguins and on to where the sea lion show was. I figured that would be a nice long break for my ankle and I. Afterwards, we went to see the sting rays and sharks so we could pet them and have that experience and then proceeded to see other animals at the zoo. We rested at benches and tables whenever my daughter was hungry or I just needed a break from walking.

Despite taking this laid back approach, we did see quite a bit, but it was nice to stay at an area and really watch an animal. It's hard to say what my favorite animals were, but I'd say all the ones that were active!

Here are some pics of our zoo adventure:

My Mom and my daughter:


My daughter and I:


Giraffes:


My daughter and I at the sea lion show:


Looking for a sting ray to pet.


Enjoying the misting station:


Sunday was a nice, hot, sunny day so after I got the grass mowed, the trim done and did a little gardening, I took Caley swimming at McCarthy park and we dried off a little at the park afterwards:











It felt good getting out there and getting some activity in. Going to see how I do this week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELN325 7/22/2014 10:11AM

    Thank you! I responded on your wall.

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ROCKYCPA 7/21/2014 8:15PM

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ANGELN325 7/21/2014 6:53PM

    Thank you for all the wonderful comments. I responded personally to everyone I could!

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MOM2ACAT 7/21/2014 4:22PM

    I'm glad you had fun despite the ankle problems!

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PEZMOM1 7/21/2014 2:52PM

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KOFFEENUT 7/21/2014 11:53AM

    What a great memory building weekend with BOTH your daughter and mom!!!

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SUBMOM2 7/21/2014 10:53AM

    I'm glad you were able to get out there. Looks like tons of fun! I hope your ankle continues to improve, and have a great week!

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BEEANDHAM 7/21/2014 9:38AM

    Looks like you all had a great weekend together! Good job not letting your ankle hold you back!

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HARROWJET 7/21/2014 9:16AM

    It looks like it was fun.

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LIFESTYLE12 7/21/2014 9:11AM

    Nice pictures of your fun weekend! I've also had ankle injuries and if you aren't already, I suggest wearing some type of ankle brace/wrap that helps support it and also reminds you to not overdo things. Feel better soon! emoticon

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MCJOYFUL 7/21/2014 9:03AM

    I just love the zoo. It sounds like you had a fun weekend!

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HMBROWN1 7/21/2014 8:20AM

    I have had significant ankle/heel/lower leg/achiles tendon issues, so I share your pain! Best wishes!

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Woohoo! My ankle is healing.

Monday, July 14, 2014

I can walk for small periods of time without any pain. This is so awesome, but I know I won't be able to return to my walks during my lunch just yet. I have to continue to let things heal and then come up with some kind of return plan until I get back to my bronze level of steps. I think this week, I will look and see how many steps I get these next 2 weeks for a base line number and then I can work on setting some goals to work towards my bronze level again.

It was nice being able to walk with the children to the park though on Saturday and once around the track, rest and then go with them to the mini golfing. Yesterday I took Caley to the beach and we had fun. The water was really cold so I didn't go too far into the lake. I just dipped my toes in to cool me down and get out. My daughter was more daring so she was an ice cube last night. It was good though because we came home and I dozed off while my daughter played with Barbies. I woke up and she was out so I went back to bed. I think this is the most sleep I've gotten in a long while and I'm still tired so I may take another nap before going to work today. We'll see.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELN325 7/16/2014 5:33AM

    Thank you for all the wonderful support! I have responded to each of your pages personally. I'm not 100% yet, but so happy that I'm healing!

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JUNEAU2010 7/15/2014 3:37PM

    I hope you heal quickly and completely!

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BEEANDHAM 7/15/2014 12:52PM

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HARROWJET 7/14/2014 9:08PM

    It is good to hear that you are healing.

Judy emoticon

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MAMAMOOSE54 7/14/2014 8:53PM

    So glad to hear that you are feeling better and that the pain is improving. Hang in there!!!

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MOM2ACAT 7/14/2014 5:37PM

    So glad to hear you are healing!

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MCJOYFUL 7/14/2014 4:20PM

    Glad you are healing!

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BEATTYN1 7/14/2014 6:41AM

    Clearly that ankle injury didn't do you in. Sounds like you are coping well and recovering as quickly as you can. I like your point by point approach to retrieving your prior level of steps, emoticon

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Sync spot is back online. Wish my ankle would do the same now.

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Even though I've been listening to my body, somehow I hurt my ankle? My feet were sore on Friday so I changed to my good tennis and that helped...No issues. I didn't do anything crazy Saturday or Sunday so how come when I step out of the car on Monday to take my daughter to school, I can hardly walk. I do feel soreness in my hamstrings and back so I've been stretching to relieve that, but I can barely walk on my right ankle. The pain is in the back part where the hamstring attaches. When I came home from work Monday, I elevated the ankle, iced it, and just relaxed. Yesterday at work, I took two boxes so I could do the same. Then when I came home last night, I added ibuprofen to the mix. Hoping this heals soon.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELN325 7/10/2014 11:40AM

    Thank you for all the wonderful support. I replied to each of you on your individual walls.

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MAMAMOOSE54 7/9/2014 6:03PM

    Hang in there-I had something similar earlier in the year-my right heel was really hurting and had no idea what I had done. I did the same as you with ice, taking ibuprofen, and rest and eventually it got better. Hoping the same for you!!! I know how frustrating it is.


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MOM2ACAT 7/9/2014 5:34PM

    Wishing you speedy healing! emoticon

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KOFFEENUT 7/9/2014 1:58PM

    Bummer! Sounds like you're taking the right steps to help it heal as soon as possible - take care of yourself!

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WIFE48 7/9/2014 8:07AM

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MAPFARMS 7/9/2014 7:29AM

    Hope your feeling better soon. emoticon

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This Motivation brought to you from Spark People

Saturday, July 05, 2014

I have found a new form of motivation. Lately, I have been earning a lot of trophies from Spark People. Sometimes I know how to earn them, but sometimes they are trophies I didn't know existed, but I love those little guys. I know I can't put them on my shelf, but they are on the site which is in some ways better because my house is cluttered enough as it is! So these are perfect and so needed because my aunt finally lost her battle to colon cancer. This is now 3 family members cancer has taken from me in one year and just found out that another uncle has prostate cancer and I'm praying it's not 4 family members. I so hate cancer. I feel like he's a little boy running through my house with scissors and someone needs to stop him and take the scissors away.

So thank you for all those who supported me on my first feature blog. It was such a pick me up and I will refer to that page often since this has been the hardest year I've faced, but I feel like I'm winning because I'm holding that line!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELN325 7/7/2014 6:04AM

    Thank you for all the wonderful responses. I have replied to each of you individually. I'm definitely going to use this latest news about my uncle to spur me to get fit so that I can start doing cancer walks by next year. Training begins...today!

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RENATA144 7/6/2014 1:56PM

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PEZMOM1 7/5/2014 9:42PM

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MCJOYFUL 7/5/2014 9:24PM

    I love it when a new trophy pulls up. So sorry for your losses. emoticon

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MOM2ACAT 7/5/2014 4:33PM

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your aunt. emoticon

I love those trophies too; when I need a boost to my motivation, it helps me to go to my Spark page and click on the link to see all the trophies I've earned over the years.

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JUNEAU2010 7/5/2014 2:39PM

    Damn cancer! I so know the feeling. I am sorry for your recent losses and am praying your relative beats his cancer. Keep yourself strong - it sounds as if you have a lot of love to give to your family and they need your wonderful positive energy!

emoticon emoticon
I sometimes dedicate a day of fitness to a beloved family member and that helps me power through the hard stuff. Just a thought.

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SUBMOM2 7/5/2014 1:28PM

    So sorry to hear about your aunt. It sounds like it has been quite a year for you, and you've been able to hold the line during all of this. That deserves a trophy, too!


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MAMAMOOSE54 7/5/2014 12:49PM

    So sorry for all your losses this year-I hate cancer, too. Been doing 5k's this year in support of cancer survivors-such a good cause to support.
I love your determined attitude-keep up the good work!
I love the trophies too-it is a small thing but it really motivates me.


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WIFE48 7/5/2014 10:39AM

    Congrats on your trophy. Your quote is so true. Great job. emoticon

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KEEPITUP62 7/5/2014 10:30AM

    Life is always changing and it seems that even with a tough year, you have been able to overcome some difficult times. THIS is what it's all about, how you react to those challenges.
Obviously, you' ve got it going on girl. emoticon

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