Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I live with 4 males...one is 37, one is 6, then 4, then 22 months old.
Summer is at it's boredom peak in our house and I want to run away! Dh is a teacher and puts on the Mr. Mom hat every year, and every year we go thru the same garbage. No routine set by him (even though he says he will - every singel year!) and the kids fighting and running around in their pjs until they hit the pool at 6pm when I get home from work. That was my yesterday...lovely, huh? There is more to this picture, but you get the point.
On top of this stupidity is the male PMS factor. They all have it (so do I, but that does not matter - I'm the girl here and entitled to my moodiness once a month). The boredom kicked it off and I finally opened my mouth this morning and said something! Yay me! Let's just say, my kiss goodbye was much better than yesterday's. Attitude adjustment accomplished. Jeesh!
I'm going home for lunch in about 10 minutes...I hope things are a little bit calmer. I haven't resorted to food (thank god) but I can feel it coming on. Along with my PMS and boredom - it is a bad combo. This too shall pass.
I wish I made a butt-load of moolah sometimes...the kids would be in camp 2 days a week to break up the monotany for them (and us - LOL). Summer is catch up season in our house - no extra spending if at all possible. I've been doing this for so long, you would think I'd be used to it! I guess I'm bored and want to shop! LOL
Well, I feel better now that it's out. Time for lunch! I'm STARVING! Not good!
Friday, July 18, 2008
I am so happy! We are going camping in an hour, but I had to blog about this one! I am typing so fast!!!!!!!
OH HAPPY DAY!!!!
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! EVERYONE!!!
I LOVE YOU MY SPARKY FRIENDS!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!
I'll see you all when I get back!!!!
SMILES and Much Sparky DONE luv!!!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
My 9th anniversary was yesterday and my mini-goal of my wedding dress being loose was totally accomplished...my chest and shoulders have disappeared, that's why! So I was super happy yesterday about that! My weigh in today was 151 - so close!!! Soon, very soon!!!
Good things too - for the big day, DH and I went to the Cheesecake Factory...it's a place where the food is do die for and the desserts are too! I saved cals and everything, so I did not feel guilty at all eating my meal...funny thing - we never even ate cheesecake!! I can't!! really, I can't digest that stuff anymore...bile duct issues...but I digress.
We walked around the mall, sans kids, and went into a few stores that I was itching to look at the last time we were there with the whining cherubs of my heart. Eddie Bauer (OK, I'm a preppy at heart - sue me) and this store called White House/Black Market (all B&W stuff). Oh was I drooling!! I need new clothes SO bad it's not funny. I tried on some stuff at EB and can get into a M top there - SHOCKING! But things were $30 on sale and that's a little high right now for me, plus who the hell knows where I'll be in the fall?! So we walked out w/o anything except a big grin on my face!
I'm still getting used to this body. I am in line and fitting in with my sisters now, which blows my mind! My one sis even said she probably has clothes for me....ME! WOW! I'm even in my closet trying things on and taking them off for whatever reason 2 times before I step out the door - another first. So weird. It blows my mind that I can go into a store and try stuff on in the M, size 10/12 range.
Today I packed up my size 16 pants to give to a co-worker - and that brown jacket in the Feb 7 start picture is there too. It's a 1X. I tried it on and it was HUGE. I also tried on the green jacket from my little sister's white coat ceremony and that was huge too. I almost cried.
My DH gave me a football jersey in a L YEARS ago - tags still on it...it fits fine now, and that made him really happy. My eldest was watching me go thru my closet this morning and when I tried it on and said that it was good, he said, "No Mom, that is great." That made ME feel great.
I did this for me.
I did this for them.
Nothing can beat this feeling of accomplishment.
Thanks SP for existing - without you, I might still be heavy.
Thanks to ALL of my SP friends for your support - you helped me along and kept me going when I needed it most.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Yes, I am talking about those last few pounds til goal - those elusive 3 pounds...I know that things came up that did not help my goal, but the last 2 weeks was not all THAT bad - gimme a break! And this week got me down to the 153 I was before vacation, which was good, but something has just NOT been right.
It began with the fitness tracker screaming at me in red that I went WAY over calorie burn to lose weight and I should increase my calories; that was something I was already doing naturally because I was genuinely hungry...so that went up. I'm not surprised at all. Camping was non-stop up and the crack of dawn, walk everywhere, go to sleep early kind of stuff, and eating like crazy because we were so active. That week was not tracked...this week was, and the results were crazy!
I usually don't track every active thing I do. Like playing with the kids? So subjective. Swimming? What is SPs true definition anyway? Cleaning the house? subjective. So this week was VERY different...I tracked swimming and bike riding in addition to my cardio (which I did faithfully) and my strength (some is better than none). WAY over ranges. WAY. I did this before about 4 weeks ago - SP fitness yelled at me then too.
I changed the cardio cals burned to just get rid of the red, and SP diet skyrocketed my cals...holy crap! I was shooting for my 1200-1550 range, well not anymore! Try 1370-1690! Whoa nellie! I'm totally not used to thinking like this! No wonder I was not losing so much and stalling on some weeks - I am not eating enough calories! I've been hitting the 1350s most days this week before I even changed the diet - imagine that!
So now I am in jump start mode...new thinking and behavior to finally blast those 3 pounds away for good! Time to hit the market tomorrow for more fruits & veggies. Track all food & fitness. Strength is going to be done - period. Cardio in the morning - period.
I'm done with this BS and a little angry at myself for not tracking the fitness better. I probably could have been more proactive toward my goal. Oh well - one step back, two steps forward to goal. I don't expect to make it by Wed, but I'm going to give it my all to try. Old me would have said something really negative, but new me is fighting hard not to listen to the dark side of what-used-to-be. New me is here to stay and will not give up.
Friday, July 04, 2008
We got back last night from camping, and we made it a full week without killing each other!!! A week is a long time, and don't get me wrong, there was a time Tues/Wed when the kids just laid there like lumps, bored out of their skulls, but all in all, they had a blast at the beach and lots of miles-stones were made:
My oldest now rides without training wheels!
My middle guy practically jumped in the ocean with his clothes on the first time down at the shore - the last time we were there in April, he would NOT go past the dunes to even look at the ocean.
My little guy - well... he's still a weasel and addicted to his binky, but we are working on him....who wants a screaming kid being weaned off a binky during a camping trip - NOT ME! He did like the water though, but not the sand - he's like me that way.
Any trip now will be a piece of cake. 2 days - HA - no problem! I laugh at that! HaHA! We forgot some key things, like the frozen premade chicken braciole and the bacon, but that was ok...my DH made 3 racks of baby back pork ribs on a 14 inch grill that were to die for! I swear he's a gifted man - he can cook gourmet anywhere.
Food wise - meat, bread, donuts, chips. That was the diet. Water & veggies & fruits were real low...storage issues and pee issues really. So now it's "CAMPING DETOX" - water water water!!! Food shopping is tomorrow, which means - veggies, fruits and good breads and skim milk!! YAY I can't wait!!!!
So the bathing suit was REALLY funny, because my ever disappearing ass has now made my suit look stupid. I had to buy some black shorts to wear OVER the suit, and now the back part around the chestal area is getting loose!! Gimme a break!! If I really had guts, I'd post it online, but that my friends, you will never see!
So here is another random thought I had today...and if you had similar weightloss, you will experience this too...it's the mental concept that your body really is not all that bad. Think about it. Go to a beach and sit and people watch and you will see. Go to a museum and look at the sculptures and nudes of "back in the day." Women are made and depicted in a certain way for centuries for a reason - we are women! We have the round curves, the belly pouch, the poochy arms and full thighs. Every single Roman and Greek statue I have ever seen has had those similar features. Womanly, motherly, sexy features. And the artists - MEN. Think about it. Think about that power the female form has over the male...for as long as man and woman has walked the earth, the goddess and mother earth cultures. I can go all ethnographic and anthropological on you guys, but I think I made my point somehow: sometimes that little bit here and there that we HATE is what the other half loves the most about our body.
So my conclusion is this (long winded, I know, but hey, it's been a week!)
Lose what you want to lose to make you happy with your body, whatever weight that may be. Love yourself first and foremost, and that starting point will bring about such wonderful changes in your world - Confidence, Self-esteem, Time for YOU.
PS - I'll be bopping in to see y'all soon! Just give me some time to do the laundry - 5 loads easy!
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