Sunday, September 07, 2008
Another shopping adventure...alone this time!
Tried on about 80 different styled shirts...learned - wrap style is the best for my figure. OK - fat girl mentality did occur and old habits die hard - I bought one style shirt is 3 colors, but there is a method to my madness, and I'll tell you why.
Shirt #1 - basic black - enough said
Shirt #2 - multigreen tile print on white background with tiles of black thrown in - great for under a jacket, it's holiday-ee-ish if I want it to be (xmas & St. Pats), I can wear it around the kids and a stain won't show
Shirt #3 - deep maroony-plum - color was awesome on me, good for fall
So you see, the fat chick mentality, while present still, was dominated by a more fashion conscious medium sized chick persona coming through...I'm making progress.
Another thing learned....some petite sections just plain suck. No variety in the shirt department. Pants were fine...bought a nice trouser pair that makes my ass look nice...at last!!
And another thing....why are sweaters being put out with short sleeves? Winter IS coming, isn't it?
And another thing...do they think everyone WANTS to look pregnant in 80% of the clothes manufactured? Anyone with a chest is screwed.
And another thing...what's with the puffy bell sleeves on jackets?
And another thing...the 70s are OVER - give Mrs. Roper her clothes back.
OK - that vent is over.
Other things bought - a very cute vertical striped quilted jacket in brown - chose the L even thought the M fit because of the sweater factor. Plus, the buttons popped when I stretched my arms back. My mid-sis told me via phone to get the M if I could button it, but on further analysis, the L was the way to go. I'm glad I did.
A black & white skirt in a L...I always wanted one, so I bought it...goes great with the black top...might have to return it if I can get in online in a medium. The shirts I bought are the slightest bit more fitted than I am used to, which is a good thing because it will keep me accountable even more to stay focused on healthy stuff...especially during the holidays.
So that is that - and I am going to be a hot PTA mom this season. No more frumpwear for me.
I just looked in my closet and am pretty happy now. A lot of stuff is on ANOTHER pile to go out...this time the 14s and XL shirts. Somebutton downs are still hanging around to layer over tanks this winter...it'll save me some money that way, but if I need to look nice, I can now. I have a few jackets too that still fit. Now all I need are a few more pants that fit really well and I am really set.
Glad I went out today instead of sitting on my behind. What is what some people say...shopping is therapy? I can totally see that when things actually fit! Now all I need are some cool shoes....
Friday, August 29, 2008
So here is the deal. I went clothes shopping with my little sis - love her...she's totally like Kelly on "What Not to Wear." Let's just say I tried on about 80 different pieces of clothing and bought only 2. The problem is part the clothing style and construction, and part my own style...which I don't really have at the moment.
Being the heavy girl always meant shopping like this:
- find something not too clingy
- buy 5 of that shirt in different colors
- dresses? bought only when needed
- pants - well, that was jeans
That's basically it. I just tossed all of those sweaters and shirts like that. They no longer fit and were taking up room in my now empty closet. I've tossed more clothes into the donation bag than any other time in my life. I am not keeping anything from the past.
So shopping now is like being tossed into a giant dark pit of the unknown. Time for a freefall. What fits? What size to even try first? What cut is good for my body type? How much to spend? Is my body going to stay this shape and why should I spend money on really good pants when they might fall off my ars in a month if I exercise more consistently?
By the end of that shopping day - I had a headache.
So a conscious effort is being made. I found a really great website that the styles seem to be more...me. I took the plunge and ordered a few things...in petite, because that was one of those things I learned from my shopping trip. I am a petite. I have to embrace that phrase because clothes fit differently and a good fit equals a happy customer. This site is uber expensive though...way out of budget, so I hit the sale rack. A $139 velvet burnout dress for the holidays was going for $35!!! I don't know my size, so I bought 2...just gave the large to my MIL because the M fit great. The 2 other outfits that were not on sale...poor fits, so back they go with no guilt. At least I took the chance right? Trial and error.
Then I went to Kmart....yup- the only store close enough to me to let me run in & out without a long trip thru LI traffic and get home to the kids quickly. My sis hates this store because it's not as high quality as she would like. Well, I bought a size 10 - 3 piece suit in black for $75. If I change shape - who cares at that price! and I look great in it! and it's in my budget!! Sorry sis - I've got daycare to pay for.
So my basic summation on the clothes thing is this...this too shall take some time. Rome was not built in a day. This weight did not come off of this body overnight. The closet will be filled with wearable and liked clothes eventually as well. I'm not settling on any one thing anymore.
Another weird thing is being in pictures and hearing comments from other people who don't really see me that often. It's weird to be scolded by an Ann Taylor employee for wearing baggy capris...let's just say she tried to sell me a bunch of new petite capris and black pants. It's weird to be in pictures with my sisters and fit in with them. It's weird to think - size 10 and not be obsessed about wanting to be a size 8...to keep going even though things are perfectly AOK. It's weird to be nice to myself and consciously say that I look good in something.
Now some people may ask - why goal at 150? You are 5 ft 2in - you could be 110-120 if you kept going. The answer is this. The last time I was 150, I was 16 and not comfortable in my own skin. A lot of things went down that year in my life - not all good. I want to be comfortable in this skin for a while. 150 is that place to start some healing. I want that 150 teenager inside to know that 150 was an ok weight to be... that I was not "fat" like my head said I was...that I was way too hard on myself for things that I could not control. Being a 150 adult is way different that being a 150 teenager. With age comes wisdom and confidence. And people say you look good now, although as a lost teenager, you never heard those words uttered at all.
I'm getting used to this new skin. It's going to take some time to do, but it will get done.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Isn't she pretty?
So nothing goes smooth...not surprised at this point! LOL Sorry I'm in cynical mode still! ROFL hysterically!
The light didn't go on and the delivery dudes broke a non-essential cosmetic piece...DH is pissed! We fixed the light ourselves by - oh - pulling the thing out a half inch! duh! But the piece...I think DH is running down there and taking it off the floor model. LOL
But she is pretty... and high tech. I'm in debt big time on this one girls. But after 10 years of settling on everyone's left over's...it's time for a splurge on what we want and need, not just what we need.
Isn't she pretty? Ahhhhhhhhh I can't wait to wipe off the fingerprints.....Ahhhhhhhhh
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I have lots to say - be afraid, be very afraid.
The last entry told about my fridge passing away...which it finally did, poor thing, while we were away camping. But let me digress a moment, because camping was an adventure itself. We rode out one of the worst storms EVER - I thought a twister was coming...no joke.
Back to the fridge...I said that when this fridge died, I was going to get my ultimate dream fridge...of course there are height issues, LOL - nothing is easy. On the hunt to 6 different stores in 2 hours, we came to the conclusion that we would have to move the restricting cabinet up about 3 inches to get a decent fridge...so today, DH did just that!! (easier than he thought) and then he went and got my dream fridge! (to be installed tomorrow - thank God above)
But the story gets better...As I was unpacking, I broke my mirror. I'm usually not suspicious, but for some reason, something is off and it seems to have started with the stupid mirror. First the fridge not fitting in the space, OK, that is normal. Then my horrorscope, as I will call it today, was not nice at all. Doom was on the wind. I usually blow that off too, but I fell off the wagon camping, HARD, and I was struggling back to get on (which is hard with no fridge) when the day just flooded upon me like a tidal wave. Here we go:
Crap #1 - I called daycare....they raised the price almost $50 from last year. For each kid!! This is Long Island, I'm not even going to say the prices because you will upchuck, like I did.
#2 - You might ask, where did you put the food from your broken fridge? Well...in the ANCIENT fridge in the basement, of course! Nothing like going up and down a flight of stairs to get your kids' milk & juice every 10 seconds. Such darlings! And next to that ancient fridge is an ancient freezer on an ancient extension cord my dad rigged up about 30 years ago. No BS, I swear.
#3 - Getting the latest milk at 7pm tonight, I grabbed the handle to the ancient fridge in the basement and got a shock up my arm! Stupid me was like - huh? and went for the door with my other hand....shock #2 up the arm. DUH!! DH was down in the cellar with me, and shut the breaker off. The ancient basement fridge is done too! That one at least went out with a bang! LOL
#4 - The ancient freezer is AOK, but the ancient extension cord is BURNED OUT...I'm talking fried. So is the plug it was plugged in to. The thing sent sparks out last year, so I'm not surprised. Why didn't we replace those last year, you ask? Because we are lazy dummies, that is why! Let the house burn down - there you go!! How stupid are we?! Put a big fat L on my forehead please.
#5 - Working out did not happen again today - the wagon is speeding and I'm running hard (in my mind) to get back on, but nothing is getting me going. My AM workouts fizzled. I liked them a lot - got it done and over with in the morning and didn't have to think about it for the rest of the day...why did it fizzle? It wasn't a routine, that is why, just a try. I need to establish that again and then I'll feel better.
#6 - I ate whatever the hell I wanted today and I didn't care. Well, I care, but I made poor choiced instead of the healthy choices. It wasn't a whole lot of choices to choose from....it was Chinese for dinner that killed me and no fruits and veggies because the lack of fridge. I don't even want to calculate it on my log - that is how crappy I feel about it. I don't have to see the number of cals, I know what it is - over. period. Was it emotional eating? partly YES....partly hunger. I felt like a bottomless pit.
#7 - Maintenance is like being thrown into a big sea with no life preserver. Tread water....go ahead...keep going...getting tired?....too bad....keep treading....keep it up...what? your tired? still?....too bad....keep going...keep that nose out of the water....keep treading....you want to live, right?....keep treading...
Before "Maintenance" and "GOAL" - the weightloss kept you going. That pound, that inch lost was golden! Now it is a little bit like being lost in the sea, trying to find your way to land....balance normal exercise with the healthy eating habits. Being Ms. Done is fun, too, but I have to add that fun into my day too. The balance board is swaying back & forth instead of being steady.
Between work, kids, wife, Ms. Done (that gets in too because it is important to me), visiting family & friends...I feel like I lost...me. So when my mirror broke, it was not the mirror really...it was me.
Today was that uber crappy emotional day that happens every so often. Money issues, family issues, daycare issues, work issues, career issues, PMS...name an issue and throw it on the pile, I don't care anymore. The broken mirror started it and the shock by the fridge ended it. I'm done. Sometimes, we have to throw up our hands and surrender.
Tomorrow is a new day and it will be better than today. Things always work out in the end, and most times, they do. I set my alarm for 5:30am and now I am going to bed. I'm waking up and hitting the TM.
I threw out that mirror the other day...I guess some shards were left on the floor to cut my feet a little bit. It's time to vacuum really well and buy a new mirror.
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