Friday, December 26, 2008
For some reason, after all is said and done...presents given and received, food made and eaten, hugs and kisses passing every germ known to man...the day after the holiday hubbub is always the same. The title of this blog says the mood. Enough said.
The 2 days prior to this were all good...the Eve is always the better of the days...the excitement of the children, the company is way better than usual, kids are behaving and we parents are more relaxed than ever before (a conscious effort this year). The company yesterday was great, and the food was waaay too much, and gifts given and received were appropriate for once! Yay!
Christmas day was not without it's family drama...in-law stupidity and well, stupidity...kept a chosen few away because they were "sick". if they truly were, I hope they feel better. If they were sick because of their karma over the past year...then, they deserve what they get. The disappointment is weighing on me today. In the movie "Love Actually," a theme of the movie is that on Christmas, you tell the truth. The spirit of the holiday is rebirth and renewal and forgiveness. One side did all of the good things and extended the proverbial olive branch on both days and both times, the other party involved was "sick"...and now I just learned that they were glad and happy to be "sick" this year. So drag in the rest of the family to keep the facade going, at all costs, on them being "sick". Honestly - their behavior is abhorrent and the result has made me....sick. Lucky me! Tomorrow is Sat and we are having dinner at my in-laws and I bet my SIL and her family will all be well and over and eating pasta....fully recovered.
There - I actually feel better just writing this out. Me being me - I make nice tomorrow, as usual.
But I digress....the house is halfway decent - forget about the family room....inundated with toys just like it was when I was a kid! It can stay like that a few more days. My kids, in their uber polite way (almost disturbing in my opinion) were their normal restrained selves when they saw all the Santa presents (side note...I did NOT do this to them...it's just how they are! We have 2 years of this behavior on tape as proof.) They piled them, slowly opened them, and slowly took each thing out of their packaging...it took all day, and some today. Weird. Very unkid-like. Very Unchristmassy....another thing to shrug off as "that's just how they are." I will interject that my eldest got to his wii game and immediately put it in and started playing happily,..my middle guy got a bike and rode it up the hall all day with his Leapster in tow...my little guy got a bunch of play food (he likes to throw it - how 2 y.o.) and a shopping cart that he ran around the house with....alll were happy and pleased...which makes me very happy.
Blogging always makes me feel better...I'm thinking about changing the title....Nah...
Food wise - I DRANK A LOT!! lots of useless calories consumed there...LOTS and LOTS. I never do that, so I'm forgiving myself. Food was OK, but desserts/snacking - BAD NEWS! I know I gained weight...haven't hit the scale yet - the clothes say it all! LOL But the great news is that the water is going and tracking is in swing once again. The alcohol was put away until new years and the cookies are being THROWN OUT.....it's my favorite part of the year that I call "THE GREAT COOKIE TOSS" - it feels good, cathartic almost, euphoristic, orgasmic, powerful....try it...you'll like it, I promise. Toss the evil into the can and breathe again!!!
Exercise wise...my older stability ball is blown up and will be used today...TM is for tomorrow. I got a new iPod from DH - shocker there! We got gifts for each other this year - first time, long time, last time for a while again. I have to load all of my tunes for the TM tomorrow,
Head wise..feeling better now that I vented. Can't do this on facebook, that is for damn sure. Can't talk to DH about it - doesn't want to hear it again. Can't talk to sister - rehashes the above story b/c we share family. Oh, well...back to my friends here! That's why I'm a lifer. Ready to get back in the saddle and lose the weight gained and get fit again...3 months off is enough.
WISHING EVERYONE A WONDERFUL BLACK FRIDAY!!!!!
Yeah, I'm losing it...
Friday, December 12, 2008
I love baking!!! Can't eat a lick of it, but I love to bake.
It is my kryptonite - every goodie that comes out of my oven needs sampling, or so I thought a month ago. I had a lick of icing a few weeks back, and my gut did a 360 and I felt like crap in less than 30 seconds...can we way processed & refined sugars? Add that to the list of things that I absolutely love, but cannot eat any more. First it was ice cream, then cheesecake, then icing...now add chocolate to the list and certain cookies and my apple pie. I have to consider them as allergies, which absolutely SUCKS, because I love all things that are sweet and processed and refined. Natural sugars...no problem there, so I can still get a sweet in here and there.
I guess this is a blessing in disguise, because now I won't have all of those extra calories, but having to accept that is hard to take, especially around the holidays, when things are so abundant and tempting. Rats. Maybe writing it down here will help me deal with this issue. Today is a baking day - the goal is to keep things out of my mouth so I can feel good before I go to bed. Baby steps.
Beside that...things here are holiday crazy, just like everyone else on here! Sparking is on hold because I am so busy, and I miss chatting and hitting the boards, but we can't always spend time on the computer - the gifts won't wrap themselves...which reminds me, still has to be done.
Catching up after Christmas is what I'm looking forward to. Getting back into working out, and visiting, and relaxing with the family while the kids play with all their toys and let me and DH veg out together on the couch...now that is a holiday dream I can wrap my head around. LOL Ahhhh....(sigh)...that's a Christmas wish that I think can make come true.
But right now....I've got to defrost my butter and get my oldest to school...Ahhh, the life of a mom, gotta love it!!!
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Insomnia update...it's over! At last. Boy, my subconscious must have had something big going on and it all worked itself out. After my shows last night and putting the 2 yo to bed (I tried going down with the other 2 kids, but the little guy wanted mommy), I actually fell fast asleep. Sure, I was woken up by the 2 yo and went up to the spare bed with him in a huff, a rare thing to, but sleep deprivation calls for drastic measures....but at least I slept 7 full hours.
No midnight workout necessary! LOL
BTW - I loved everyone's responses to my sleep crisis! And as for the facebook thing...totally using it as a fun goof around thing. Right now, my HS alumni are all joining facebook like crazy...like someone spread the word that it's the place to be and do. I'm not one for peer pressure, so I'm using it as fun and only befriending people who actually spoke to me in HS. I can see how some people get addicted to that stuff - hey look at us here on SP!! LOL I think I'll keep SP as my place of permanent addiction - it's way healthier for me.
So that's the update people - thanks again for the support!!
Love you guys!!!
PS - ELK - It's what's for dinner.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
I can't sleep for the last 2 nights...my mind is racing. I did that stupid free tarot card reading online and now my brain won't shut off. My HS friends visited on Fri, and we had a great time...they are all on facebook, so I joined facebook and now I can't sleep. Is it because I actually know people there? And the requests for adding friends is totally weird because some of these people I barely said 2 words to in HS and then there are some I don't ever want to talk to again for the rest of my life! Or is it time to become the bigger person and let things in the past stay there?
Here's the thing about me and HS....I was the geek... the fly on the wall with no boyfriend...the smart girl that no one wanted to be with "in that way" for whatever reason. I knew that I was the marrying type - even back then, so I guess it never bugged me when I never had a boyfriend. Sure - I had my good friends - we still are very good friends and I wouldn't change that for the world...but then there were the others that really could care less...or they cared about themselves way more than they ever cared about me, or even if I existed. And then there were the jerks - everyone has them. Now they are asking to be my "friend" when I really want to just ask "why? Why now?" Is it to add me to the alumni list and rack it up or is it to spy on my life? one of these people is in the latter category, and I have to think about this hard.
So that's what is keeping me awake. It's so much easier to come to SP - where everyone is more "distant" and yet sympathetic/empathetic, than to open up to people I once knew. Let's face it. They know me in some form or another, just like you, but when physical contact and personal space has been breeched - even so long ago...it changes everything. I like my SP buds...no past or present judgements.
Computer is dying and it's midnight...gotta go to sleep...if I can.
Edited on the morning after.....sleep and comments give new perspective on the issue.
The whole FB thing is almost a non-issue...I lived fine before....it changes nothing except keeping me in the loop with my alumni. The aforementioned person...well, he knows my feelings about the situation - for goodness sake, I certainly gave him an earful when we met up in college, and I have to actually thank the dope for hurting my feelings because then I wouldn't be friends with my best friends from HS now. Forgiveness comes in time....I guess this was the time for me. I'm probably the only one with the issue, so I should just let it go.
Thanks for the perspective everyone...it helped a lot.
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