ANNIEONLI   48,079
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Day 364

Friday, February 06, 2009

Today is day 364- tomorrow will be one full year on anniversary, so to speak!

It's been a wonderful journey - the support has been great, the challenges fun, the sparkpages inspiring, the friends I have made are considered "keepers" in my book, and a select few have emerged into "buds" that I think I would sorely miss if I were ever to not Spark again.

On a serious note: This week has been a very stressful week, and I still emotionally eat on occasion. It's a full blown out PMS week, most likely a full moon too (you know how I love those), work is painfully slow, and the winter blues have hit me hard. You see, I've received a few bits of new this week that worry me a bit. The news doesn't directly affect me at all, in fact, but I care for these people, even though I have never seen them before, or in one case, have not seen them in 20 years. It's in my nature to care (worry) and "pray it out" in that way, and hopefully my vibes sent into the universe will ease their stressful times. To some this might not make any sense at all - "why are you like that?" I have no idea, it's just how I am. I take things and people and their feelings to heart - literally...and to not be able to fix the problem or help them, stresses me out. Maybe writing this will balance something else out there. Maybe it's the economy stressing me out to...Who the hells knows.

On the flip side!!!!!! Because, for goodness sake, there is a point somewhere in my brain....I have been thinking of all the great things that have happened since Feb 7th last year...and here's a little list for you!
1 - I can run for 5 minutes now! for me, that is HUGE
2 - I have more energy and (usually) have steady moods
3 - my skin looks better on my face (on my stomach...not so much...can we say pizza dough? Goshdarn stretch marks & loose skin)
4 - my psoriasis on my knees and elbows (pretty bad) is almost completely gone!!! YAY!
5 - I really know my body now and how it react to certain foods
6 -I haven't had a bile duct attack all this time - another YAY!
7 - I'm actually looking forward to buying a bathing suit this year...I know, what the hell?!?!
8 - Part deux starts year, new goals, new challenges...but those are for tomorrow...

So that's all I can think of right kids are on my very very last nerve and are determined to drive me insane as I write this. Heck, that's the least of my worries, I'm going to shut my big mouth now. Counting my blessing for the billionth time....again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 2/10/2009 8:25PM

    Yay you!!

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HLH31688 2/6/2009 6:43PM

    Wow your Psoriasis cleared up! I wonder if my psoriasis will clear up as i lose weight, i hope so! I have it SEVERELY on my hands, a little on my elbows. That would be just wonderful if it would cause it has just plagued me tremendously, especially with my job, constantly using my hands.

That is great that you have been here for a year! Congrats as you have made great progress!

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Blast from the past

Friday, January 30, 2009

Today I met with a woman I was aquainted with 20 years ago! She dated my friend, and we went to the Junior Prom together, and via Facebook, we started talking and decided to have a playdate! Talk about funny/weird/strange/exciting! The jist of it is this, we got together because of a vibe and because we remember each other as being nice people, even though we only really spent maybe 24 hours total in our entire existance of "knowing" one another...when my friend broke up with her, so did we, so to speak, and never saw her again. I feel like I know her pretty well now, which is strange, but in reality, she barely knows me, but we get along. Must be the memories of the poeple we had in common.

Anyways, with all this getting to know you stuff, the pictures from high school came out. I was looking for a few of my own, but all I found were pictures of me being very heavy. Even my junior prom picture of me is heavy, and if memory serves me well, I weighed then what I weigh now....but I guess the fitness wasn't there, the fat was instead. Stuffed into a prop dress, cleavage everywhere. All I saw was the frustration and sadness in each photo. How I hid and was scared to be photographed, even at 16. The insecurities were written across every photo. I also realized that there aren't many of me either. In high school, I didn't take pictures at all, so none are there. My mom was very ill, so I missed parties and dances to be at home with her. And the photos in my twenties were no better...baggy this, saggy that, big hair to hide behind.

The whole thing today just made me realize how I love to be in the RIGHT NOW. I look better than I did in my teens and twenties, that is for damn sure. I feel the best I've felt in 20 years too. It's amazing how things change if you want them to.

So on Facebook, there is this note that goes around asking you to write 25 random things about yourself. A big one was my weight, but to blab that one is a little weird, I think...but it's a huge part of my life. An obtrusive part of my life....well, maybe not anymore, but it was.

Anyway - random weird blog is over at last. Sad about the past, but happy in the now and excited for the future. The best thing about today was that I made a new old friend.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMLION 1/31/2009 4:50PM

    Going thru the old school photos of mine was not that great of an experience either. My thing was the huge glasses I wore. Sure, I thought they looked fine then cause that's how everyone wore them! Then in 10th grade I got contacs. Still not very many pics of myself taken. In my 20's when I dieted down to a size little, my hair is crazy! So, don't like those pics either. Most of my thirties I'm back to being fat again and not taking too many pics at all. I started trying to make sure I was getting in some of the photos only to prove I did exist! And I do have quite a few pics that I hate because I am/was so big. I agree my here and now is much better than my then and I am hopeful for my future pics to be even better!
emoticon Cheers to out better looking photos!!! We are looking fabulous!

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Back to food tracking too

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Yup...SP always suggests to food track a few days when you are on maintenance, and I was always, "well, I'm doing fine right now - I've got the hang of it by now." Well, guess what? SP is right again!! I'm finding that it always is.

I started tracking this week after eating a 3000 calorie meal (no joke) at my inlaws on Sunday night. We all felt like crap, and I was stuffed to the gills and burping salad (pretty). In an Italian house, it's always "manga, manga" and it makes my Father in law happy that we all ate like pigs (especially since we don't see them often). Canoli's included. I hit the food tracker the next morning.

Summary after 2 days of tracking - bloating is down, feeling better again and more in control of my life. To me that is priceless.

It's amazing how things add up, and it IS good to keep in practice with the trackers.

So if you thought like me...don't be an idiot - track a few days and sweep the dust out of your eyes. You'll be very surprised at how things add up.


It is a happy new year!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I've been meaning to get on here for a while...Sparking has been prioritized in my life, which means that sometimes I don't get on here for days at a's all part of the new year.

This is the first year I can honestly say that I have made no New Year's Resolution! There was no talk of it between DH and myself, nothing entered my head when Ryan Seacrest was babbling on TV...nothing. It's pretty funny because in 1999/2000, I was videotaped saying that I was finally going to lose weight using Suzanne Somers' book she had out back then! Never happened...too funny!

My mental focus has been my exercise, and so far, so good! I'm tracking that like the devil. Food, not so much right now, because after 8 months, it's like old hat...natural. Now I'm trying to make exercise natural. LoL - you might be asking, "Well, why weren't you doing that all along?" The answer? I hate exercise! Well, at least I used to, and to break that mental crutch is hard and it takes time. Like my page title says, it's all about the journey! Baby steps, people, baby steps.

So here's what's been going with exercise - which is usually during my lunch hour 2 days a week, so there is no fooling around here.
1) eat my snack at 11:00 so I can get right to the TM without eating lunch yet
2) Run home, change right away into the gear & hit the TM for 20 to 40 minutes (depends on the workday)
3) Cool down, change, eat
4) Run back to work

Making this a priority has helped me focus so much. In doing that, my workouts are more intense - I am running more and pushing myself harder.

Now - confession time! YAY!
I, Anne, gained 4.5 pounds over the December season because I ate some sweets, lots of chippies and drank lots of Amaretto sours. Ahh, that's better.

The best part of the whole experience was that it was the first time doing that after I had hit goal. I had a 4 pound cushion to work with...the cushion went away and then I wound up over my goal weight by half pound. Eeek! What? I failed?!? NOT! I learned. I learned a hell of a lot about myself, my bad seasonal habits, my stresses (lots of emotional eating going on), and HOW to deal with them. Hidesight is 20/ year will be better...I'll only gain 2 pounds. emoticon

Everyone on SP is back with a vengeance...I hear ya on that one, so am I. There's something about taking away the holiday crap and refocusing that renews the spirit.

It's going to be a very good year. I can feel it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 1/24/2009 10:52AM

    I didn't get my updatey note on your blog either. I'll just go reset it... that seems to work.

So emoticon to hear from you! You have done a fabbo job of getting back on the wagon since the first of the year!

I have found my sparking to be still a daily thing, at least for tracking my food and such.

It sounds like you are finding some balance on how to fit in your exercise, go you!

Maintenanceville is certainly an interesting place to live.

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IAMLION 1/12/2009 8:00AM

    emoticon on getting back on the exercise train. I start today. After work I am meeting my husband and daughter along with a new work out buddy I'll be meeting for the first time today. This will be a huge challenge as I am used to working out by myself. It's much quicker when you go it alone.

You are totally not alone in your love (cough, cough! emoticon) of exercise! I really hate it to pieces. Well, I hate doing the exercising but I do love how it makes my body feel better and it helps me sleep better too. To me, exercising is sooooo painful (mentally, not physically). I don't like doing things that are hard. Oh well, the things we will go through to get the things we want, like improved health & appearance.

Great job on only gaining four pounds. My weight gain, although it's not really official yet, is about five - seven pounds. I was still eating and drinking up the last of the holiday last week emoticon

Take care my friend and I'll touch base with you again later!!

emoticon Connie

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I love my treadmill

Saturday, December 27, 2008

yup...I said it...I LOVE MY TREADMILL!!!

I missed her oh, so much and didn't even know it that I missed her that bad!

Yesterday I did the ball...real light stuff, and then I promised myself to get back to the TM the next...and when the littlest went to nap, I told the DH & the other 2 that I was going in the basement - not to be disturbed. Period.

Wow - talk about meeting with an old friend after a long time! On went the headphones, put on my favorite songs and off I went...for ten minutes...then 20...then 30...then by 40 minutes of fun...I cooled off at last. What a great workout. A much needed workout. Mindclearing. Stress releasing. Perfect. Just what the doctor ordered.

So there you go...back in the saddle and not too horrific. Proud of myself and my body for still being able after it's "vacation."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 1/6/2009 8:41PM

    Oh Annie!

How well I understand your entry! (Sorry I'm running a little on answering your post on my page!) I LOVE my treadmill too... and it sounds so funny to say it, doesn't it?

Isn't it wonderful to just let the world slip away as you get some time in your own music and mental space?

Keep it up girl! You can do it!

I also understand about rebuilding... esp since I was sick/slacked off during the holidaze!

Happy New Year!! emoticon

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