Friday, January 30, 2009
Today I met with a woman I was aquainted with 20 years ago! She dated my friend, and we went to the Junior Prom together, and via Facebook, we started talking and decided to have a playdate! Talk about funny/weird/strange/exciting! The jist of it is this, we got together because of a vibe and because we remember each other as being nice people, even though we only really spent maybe 24 hours total in our entire existance of "knowing" one another...when my friend broke up with her, so did we, so to speak, and never saw her again. I feel like I know her pretty well now, which is strange, but in reality, she barely knows me, but we get along. Must be the memories of the poeple we had in common.
Anyways, with all this getting to know you stuff, the pictures from high school came out. I was looking for a few of my own, but all I found were pictures of me being very heavy. Even my junior prom picture of me is heavy, and if memory serves me well, I weighed then what I weigh now....but I guess the fitness wasn't there, the fat was instead. Stuffed into a prop dress, cleavage everywhere. All I saw was the frustration and sadness in each photo. How I hid and was scared to be photographed, even at 16. The insecurities were written across every photo. I also realized that there aren't many of me either. In high school, I didn't take pictures at all, so none are there. My mom was very ill, so I missed parties and dances to be at home with her. And the photos in my twenties were no better...baggy this, saggy that, big hair to hide behind.
The whole thing today just made me realize how I love to be in the RIGHT NOW. I look better than I did in my teens and twenties, that is for damn sure. I feel the best I've felt in 20 years too. It's amazing how things change if you want them to.
So on Facebook, there is this note that goes around asking you to write 25 random things about yourself. A big one was my weight, but to blab that one is a little weird, I think...but it's a huge part of my life. An obtrusive part of my life....well, maybe not anymore, but it was.
Anyway - random weird blog is over at last. Sad about the past, but happy in the now and excited for the future. The best thing about today was that I made a new old friend.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Yup...SP always suggests to food track a few days when you are on maintenance, and I was always, "well, I'm doing fine right now - I've got the hang of it by now." Well, guess what? SP is right again!! I'm finding that it always is.
I started tracking this week after eating a 3000 calorie meal (no joke) at my inlaws on Sunday night. We all felt like crap, and I was stuffed to the gills and burping salad (pretty). In an Italian house, it's always "manga, manga" and it makes my Father in law happy that we all ate like pigs (especially since we don't see them often). Canoli's included. I hit the food tracker the next morning.
Summary after 2 days of tracking - bloating is down, feeling better again and more in control of my life. To me that is priceless.
It's amazing how things add up, and it IS good to keep in practice with the trackers.
So if you thought like me...don't be an idiot - track a few days and sweep the dust out of your eyes. You'll be very surprised at how things add up.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I've been meaning to get on here for a while...Sparking has been prioritized in my life, which means that sometimes I don't get on here for days at a time...it's all part of the new year.
This is the first year I can honestly say that I have made no New Year's Resolution! There was no talk of it between DH and myself, nothing entered my head when Ryan Seacrest was babbling on TV...nothing. It's pretty funny because in 1999/2000, I was videotaped saying that I was finally going to lose weight using Suzanne Somers' book she had out back then! Never happened...too funny!
My mental focus has been my exercise, and so far, so good! I'm tracking that like the devil. Food, not so much right now, because after 8 months, it's like old hat...natural. Now I'm trying to make exercise natural. LoL - you might be asking, "Well, why weren't you doing that all along?" The answer? I hate exercise! Well, at least I used to, and to break that mental crutch is hard and it takes time. Like my page title says, it's all about the journey! Baby steps, people, baby steps.
So here's what's been going with exercise - which is usually during my lunch hour 2 days a week, so there is no fooling around here.
1) eat my snack at 11:00 so I can get right to the TM without eating lunch yet
2) Run home, change right away into the gear & hit the TM for 20 to 40 minutes (depends on the workday)
3) Cool down, change, eat
4) Run back to work
Making this a priority has helped me focus so much. In doing that, my workouts are more intense - I am running more and pushing myself harder.
Now - confession time! YAY!
I, Anne, gained 4.5 pounds over the December season because I ate some sweets, lots of chippies and drank lots of Amaretto sours. Ahh, that's better.
The best part of the whole experience was that it was the first time doing that after I had hit goal. I had a 4 pound cushion to work with...the cushion went away and then I wound up over my goal weight by half pound. Eeek! What? I failed?!? NOT! I learned. I learned a hell of a lot about myself, my bad seasonal habits, my stresses (lots of emotional eating going on), and HOW to deal with them. Hidesight is 20/20...next year will be better...I'll only gain 2 pounds.
Everyone on SP is back with a vengeance...I hear ya on that one, so am I. There's something about taking away the holiday crap and refocusing that renews the spirit.
It's going to be a very good year. I can feel it.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
yup...I said it...I LOVE MY TREADMILL!!!
I missed her oh, so much and didn't even know it that I missed her that bad!
Yesterday I did the ball...real light stuff, and then I promised myself to get back to the TM the next...and when the littlest went to nap, I told the DH & the other 2 that I was going in the basement - not to be disturbed. Period.
Wow - talk about meeting with an old friend after a long time! On went the headphones, put on my favorite songs and off I went...for ten minutes...then 20...then 30...then by 40 minutes of fun...I cooled off at last. What a great workout. A much needed workout. Mindclearing. Stress releasing. Perfect. Just what the doctor ordered.
So there you go...back in the saddle and not too horrific. Proud of myself and my body for still being able after it's "vacation."
Friday, December 26, 2008
For some reason, after all is said and done...presents given and received, food made and eaten, hugs and kisses passing every germ known to man...the day after the holiday hubbub is always the same. The title of this blog says the mood. Enough said.
The 2 days prior to this were all good...the Eve is always the better of the days...the excitement of the children, the company is way better than usual, kids are behaving and we parents are more relaxed than ever before (a conscious effort this year). The company yesterday was great, and the food was waaay too much, and gifts given and received were appropriate for once! Yay!
Christmas day was not without it's family drama...in-law stupidity and well, stupidity...kept a chosen few away because they were "sick". if they truly were, I hope they feel better. If they were sick because of their karma over the past year...then, they deserve what they get. The disappointment is weighing on me today. In the movie "Love Actually," a theme of the movie is that on Christmas, you tell the truth. The spirit of the holiday is rebirth and renewal and forgiveness. One side did all of the good things and extended the proverbial olive branch on both days and both times, the other party involved was "sick"...and now I just learned that they were glad and happy to be "sick" this year. So drag in the rest of the family to keep the facade going, at all costs, on them being "sick". Honestly - their behavior is abhorrent and the result has made me....sick. Lucky me! Tomorrow is Sat and we are having dinner at my in-laws and I bet my SIL and her family will all be well and over and eating pasta....fully recovered.
There - I actually feel better just writing this out. Me being me - I make nice tomorrow, as usual.
But I digress....the house is halfway decent - forget about the family room....inundated with toys just like it was when I was a kid! It can stay like that a few more days. My kids, in their uber polite way (almost disturbing in my opinion) were their normal restrained selves when they saw all the Santa presents (side note...I did NOT do this to them...it's just how they are! We have 2 years of this behavior on tape as proof.) They piled them, slowly opened them, and slowly took each thing out of their packaging...it took all day, and some today. Weird. Very unkid-like. Very Unchristmassy....another thing to shrug off as "that's just how they are." I will interject that my eldest got to his wii game and immediately put it in and started playing happily,..my middle guy got a bike and rode it up the hall all day with his Leapster in tow...my little guy got a bunch of play food (he likes to throw it - how 2 y.o.) and a shopping cart that he ran around the house with....alll were happy and pleased...which makes me very happy.
Blogging always makes me feel better...I'm thinking about changing the title....Nah...
Food wise - I DRANK A LOT!! lots of useless calories consumed there...LOTS and LOTS. I never do that, so I'm forgiving myself. Food was OK, but desserts/snacking - BAD NEWS! I know I gained weight...haven't hit the scale yet - the clothes say it all! LOL But the great news is that the water is going and tracking is in swing once again. The alcohol was put away until new years and the cookies are being THROWN OUT.....it's my favorite part of the year that I call "THE GREAT COOKIE TOSS" - it feels good, cathartic almost, euphoristic, orgasmic, powerful....try it...you'll like it, I promise. Toss the evil into the can and breathe again!!!
Exercise wise...my older stability ball is blown up and will be used today...TM is for tomorrow. I got a new iPod from DH - shocker there! We got gifts for each other this year - first time, long time, last time for a while again. I have to load all of my tunes for the TM tomorrow,
Head wise..feeling better now that I vented. Can't do this on facebook, that is for damn sure. Can't talk to DH about it - doesn't want to hear it again. Can't talk to sister - rehashes the above story b/c we share family. Oh, well...back to my friends here! That's why I'm a lifer. Ready to get back in the saddle and lose the weight gained and get fit again...3 months off is enough.
WISHING EVERYONE A WONDERFUL BLACK FRIDAY!!!!!
Yeah, I'm losing it...
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