Monday, May 11, 2009
Happy Post-Mother's day to you! It was great yesterday, however, I unfortunately have reap the aftereffects which come with the day....oh what fun!
You might be wondering why I say this? Well, my good sparkbuddies know that I can't eat certain things: ice cream, cheese cake, cake icing, any abundance of chocolate - basically refined sugars and everything thing that I absolutely love.
So here's my gripe with my own body today: I had HALF a brownie at noon (big woop) and then at 7pm, I made a banana cream pie with SKIM milk, but used real whipped cream - maybe I ate 1/4 cup of the bad fats - BOOM - this morning I feel like crap! Ugh! It has to be the refined sugars, because I ate nothing out of the ordinary - and from my tracking, the fats& carbs were a little high for the dieting zone, but totally OK for maintenance range and I BARELY went out of the maintenance range.
So that's that. I'm done with desserts for good. They make me feel like crap. I LOVE to bake to, but I guess it's going to be will power over the urge to eat because this just stinks. What is funny to me about this whole thing is that I never seem to learn! LOL Whenever I think I'm OK, I'm not. Better off not having it in my book. I feel like a healthnut even talking like this, but I think I'm going to be sticking with natural sugars from now on.
I'm sure there is some technical & medical term involving blood sugars spiking & whatnot, the function on the liver/pancreas/speen, etc. which, honestly, I know all about, but REALLY! can't a girl just have one stinkin' brownie God???!!!???
Ok - I feel better. Now back to the old recovery grind of water water water & eating light today w/ low fats and fruits & veggies. Hahaha - I might make 136 after all!! LOL! Gotta see the water bottle as half full...always!
Friday, May 08, 2009
I have that....BIG TIME. Bathing suits season is here, and I will wear one (under duress mind you), yet in my daily life I have form fitting clothing phobia. I would love to know the real medical name for that one.
Today, I pulled out of my drawer, a stretch type, fitted T that I bought from the Kmart clearance rack by accident (the shoulders are all screwed up & are gonna piss me off all day, but I digress). I usually buy the cotton ones w/o the stretch because in the past, God forbid! I show off the back fat! and I usually by the size up so they have room to shrink. Nice mentality I have, huh? Years & years of low self-esteem coming thru loud & clear. Anyway, today is my SAHM day, and no one is going to see me - except my SIL coming over, so why the heck not. I HAVE TO GET OVER THIS!
So today I'm going to wear this clingy t-shirt and look in the mirror whenever I pass it. I've talked about the mental picture before - I'm still at 162 for some reason...well, this month at least. Every bump, every divit, bring it on.
Why am I blogging about this is another question...well, I lost a few extra pounds & last night, I tried on a few dresses that I bought on clearance to see if they fit better- like I have anyplace to wear them. Actually, I take that back. I'm a godmother in 5 weeks, so there I go -an occassion! The size M and size 10 both fit...albeit with bumps, but going a size up would be worse. I have a giant load of loose skin on my belly that isn't going to go away overnight, it looks like a 6pack, which cracks me up. So what to do? what to do? Well, I'm going to buy some Spanx - LOL - to help with the 6pack & I'm going to get over my phobia today if it kills me...which it won't, kill me, that is.
This all comes about from an article I read on Spark about liking oneself in a bathing suit. The writer basically said to wean yourself into the situation. I like that advice & am going to put it into action.
This is a weird challenge for me because even as I type this, I want to rip this stupid shirt off and put on my comfy loose cotton t-shirt.
6PM update....I made it through the day! My SIL came over & she was like, that shirt really fits you (it was under my fleece b/c I was cold) So I took the fleece off. She was all like - it look awesome! It really fits you well! She knows how I was, so she's really happy & supportive like that.
Anyway, we got into this whole conversation of fitness & goal weights and maintainablilty. She just had a baby, so she can relate to my world now really well. Anyway, it was a good day, nonetheless. I'm not ready to go out food shopping in the shirt, but it's a start.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
I went out last night with some people I haven't seen in 10 to 12 years. They were pre-husband and were actually there we had our very first date, and one was at my wedding, but after that..well, people moved on & life got in the way.
Well - first off...they knew the heavy Anne. I felt like I was the fat girl friend in this group of 2 women (this includes me BTW) and 8 guys. I crushed on each & every guy in the group at one point I think, but was too self conscious to do anything about it. Anywho...me & my old girlfriend reconnected thru FB, and I with another one of the guys, and Whallah! a reunion took place last night at an old restaurant we used to go to.
It was such a great time getting together with these people - I cannot express! I still have that huge grin on my face from last night. No awkwardness, no weird vibes - just smiles & laughter...probably because nobody dated one each other in our group! LOL
I will say this, appearance wise, everyone else looked the same, but I absolutely FLOORED my friend John (ROFL) and my friend Ann (LMAO). Ok, Ann gained a little, but she was a size 0 way back when, and now she looks, well, normal. I think she's a size 4 or6 now - LoL & she looks fabulous!
The weirdest thing about this group is that we have only a few pictures of our time together from way back when...but I really wish we had at least some. Well, we took a few pics and had a bunch of laughs and I was no longer the self conscious one this time... I was the life of the frickin' party!!
I don't think we'll ever let 10 years go like that again. I'd like to add that there is a certain freedom and comfort that comes with getting older & wiser...we are all in great relationships and happy in our lives...but there's also an added exhilaration about making one of my past secret mini-crush's mouth hang open on first meeting. That was cool.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Just went to Kohl's and blew a load of moolah on a whole new summer wardrobe! (whoa! totally just remembered I didn't use the giftcard in my pocketbook! Oh well - I have to return a dress anyway...I'll pick up some more clothes! LOL)
I raided the petite section and got about 10 pairs on summer bottoms - size 10P, thank you very much. It's a victory and a nice thing to see and say, because that means I'm maintaining well. Last summers sad 12s are going buy buy officially. Only the ones that really fit will stay, but baggy is not allowed anymore.
I'm still a large in the tops for some reason....hmmmm....the boobs maybe? Anyway..the styles of tops still suck. I'm still not pregnant, nor do I plan to be!!! I bought one of each of the Kohl's classic seasonal graphic t-shirt. Mediums were to tight in the shoulder (I hate that). Larges were a little to big. I bought the Larges. They can shrink all they want to in the drier - I don't care at $5.50 a piece! LOL They will be very useful camping too.
Now - the bathingsuit is still not bought. I try them on in the stores and they all stink. I don't think I'm a separates type of person. I'm going to give QVC a try instead.
I treated myself to 3 pairs of new sandles too. The ones on my feet now are ten years old. They look OK, but for goodness sake!
I gave a little fashion show to my 4 week post-partum SIL. We had fun, and she's in that weird, new, foreign body of hers....it gives her hope that things come back to normal. She approved of all my purchases, which made me feel good. She still can't believe how "skinny" I am. I put that word in quotes, because I'm still 162 in my head...and I do not feel skinny. It's nice to talk with a new mom about how things change when a baby comes. We now have a big chunk of stuff in common and she sometimes needs my knowledge...and it's nice to be needed and appreciated like that. She's a great mom...she's doing just fine. I gave her a few L shirts that I bought thinking that she might need a boost of normal non-maternity clothes - actually, they look better on her than me! I'll go back and get some more with my never used gift card! LOL
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