ANNIEONLI   38,678
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For God's sake...just do it already!!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

This morning's musings:
Oh boy...i stepped on the scale and it was 140 and I fairly did a flip out in my head. I know that I had a LOT of salt this weekend, and yesterday I did not drink 8 glasses of water for some reason. I guess maybe in doing the kids rooms, I had lost focus of me...again. It's weird how FAST that can happen. One thing that eases my mind with a fluctuation like that is that I weigh myself everyday now, and the day before I was 137...so I don't panic nowadays.

Which brings me to the point that with everything changing....I cannot lose myself. School is good and the route to take, but I have to learn NOW not to lose myself amongst the labs and readings and to take the time to work out...for my body's sake, as well as my sanity and for the family's sake...because I KNOW how I can get when I am stressed out.

I have to refocus on fitness now. My Sparkbuds KNOW that I HATE to exercise, but I always feel good when I do it....so why don't I take my own advice and just do it? Well..because, like everyone on here....I have my own issues, that's why! I really don't know WHAT my workout issues are, so I will just chalk them up to pure and unabashed laziness on my part! I can totally do the weightloss/food tracking/good nutrition thing - I'm good like that......but to do exercise everyday, "ugh, do I have to???" is the first thing that comes into my head.
__________________________

Mid-morning musing:

ON a side note: I am currently having a mini-panic attack...WHY????

OK, In my hand are 2 class registration forms for biochemistry and microbiology....and my hands are shaking, my heart is pounding and I feel like I am going to throw up emoticon.

I HAVE TO go send them RIGHT NOW via fax. This is HUGE. I WANT THIS SO BAD and I"M SO SCARED I'm going to screw it up! But I won't know unless I try. It's been 20 years since my last chem class...and I will toot my own horn here, but I ROCKED when I was in school, especially in the science realm.

It's just jitters...life changing jitters. I don't think I ever felt this way in my life. I've never wanted anything so bad in my life. It's waaaay different than getting married or having kids too. WTF...BREATHE!

Calm down!!!!!! JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!

OK....I'm going now...to the fax machine Batman!!! Pronto!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMLION 1/19/2010 8:49PM

    I do the whole weigh myself daily too. I do it mainly b/c the weight does go up and down daily and this way I won't be so depressed when it seems like my weight isn't moving.

You know me and you know I hate exercising!!! Ugggghhhhh!! Why can't there be an easier way to do this! I am a lazy butt!! The only thing I like about exercising is when i am finished!! So you are not alone in the exercise haters club!!

Just do it!! I know you can!!!!! emoticon

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TASOGAREBAN 1/19/2010 1:47PM

    LOL to the fax machine. XD

Well I read this after your other one so I know you did it and YAY! And second, I'm the same way with working out. I feel great and SO proud of myself after but to work up to it...meh. This morning I had a training at the main branch and couldn't fit it in by the time I had to leave. But when I get home tonight I'm busting out half an hour. I HAVE TO.

And now you have a reason to celebrate! Yay!

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OAKBORN 1/19/2010 9:46AM

    wow... do I relate! My scale at home was 151. Meh. It's 153 here at work, but that's with clothes and shoes, I usually take off 2-3 lbs dependent on what I'm wearing... so it's pretty much equivalent.

Hang in there girl and remember yourself...

Here's a song dedication for both of us... I'd do this on Facebook, but I am at work...

Fullhouse (Kate Bush)

Driving back in her car
Watching the wipers
Squashing the leaves away
Suddenly there in the road
Is your old self
Trying to get out of the rain

I am my enemy
Mowing me over
And towing the light away
Somehow it just seems to fit
With that old me
Trying to get back again

Imagination sets in
Then all the voices begin
Telling you things that aren't happening
(But they nig and they nag, 'til they're under your skin)

(You've really got to)
Remember yourself
You've got a Full House in your head tonight
(You've got to, you've got to)
Remember yourself
Stand back and see emotion in getting you uptight

My silly pride
Digging the knife in
She loves to come for her ride
Surely by now, I should know
I can control
My highs and my lows

By questioning all that I do
Examining every move
Trying to get back to the rudiments
(If they nig and they nag, I'll just put in the boot)

(You've really got to)
Remember yourself
You've got a Full House in your head tonight
(You've got to, you've got to)
Remember yourself
Stand back and see emotion in getting you uptight

Remember yourself
You've got a Full House in your head tonight
(You've got to, you've got to)
Remember yourself
Stand back and see emotion in getting you uptight

emoticon

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HIPPIEFREAK66 1/19/2010 9:37AM

  emoticon hope the rest of the day goes better

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Quiet

Friday, January 15, 2010

All is quiet. My brain is quiet. Ever have just 'quiet' happen? I really have nothing remarkable to report here. Being a pieces, I'm usually daydreaming about something or another, planning something, or worrying about something....but today is a quiet day. Sure, I have things to do...school research to do, schedule planning to figure out, books to buy, loans to inquire about...but right now, I do not feel the pressing rush of having to do much of anything at all. Very strange for me.

There's something about sitting in a quiet house. The tick of the clock, the furnace going on, the distant sound of a neighbors dog barking, a car going by, a plane overhead, the ticking of my keys as I pluck away at this keybaord. It reminds me of period piece movies and/or novels where all they had WAS quiet and their own devices for entertainment and their own hand for their survival & livelihood...which is ironic to even type, because even in this modern age, those conditions still exist in the world today.

Take some time today to just be quiet.
Think about the people who don't have it as good as us Sparkers, typing away & worrying about every situp, and calorie consumed and burned.
The moment will pass away quickly enough for sure, but it's that acute awareness that will make us more compassionate in the end...even if it's just for a moment.

Be quiet.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BESTSUSIEYET 1/18/2010 11:39PM

    We are so busy -- and often 'hide' from the quiet -- are we afraid of what we might hear? I'm glad you enjoyed your quiet day, and encouraged the rest of us to do the same! I used to always want the radio on -- but have learned to treasure the times of solitude, when I might actually hear the voice of God!

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HEALTH4LYFE 1/15/2010 11:35PM

    Friday is usually the day when I can get the most quiet time. My children are usually in school, my DH is usually at work, and I am off. Sometimes Fridays are quite hectic because I try to do all that I am unable to do during the week, but other times, I can read, reflect, take a nap, or just enjoy doing nothing (LOL like that happens a lot). Thanks for sharing and for reminding us to be mindful of our surroundings and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Comment edited on: 1/15/2010 11:35:57 PM

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IAMLION 1/15/2010 7:56PM

    I had some quiet at work today. It was awesome. I didn't work, look at the computer or move for about 15 minutes, I just sat. It was great. Then the phone rang... It was good while it lasted emoticon

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CMRAND54 1/15/2010 7:21PM

    I really liked this blog. What a great thought to just enjoy the quiet. I was off work today and home alone with the cats. I did enjoy the quiet a lot.

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OAKBORN 1/15/2010 11:30AM

    Quiet can be a good thing... makes me think about a quote from a fave book, "take that moment between moments to just be".

Enjoy this space between past and future... the quiet is your time.

emoticon

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TASOGAREBAN 1/15/2010 11:29AM

    When I was reading your blog I was actually sitting at the front desk at my job. And it was quiet. Which it should be, it's a library after all. But just as you were explaining it, I was picturing it and then hearing what was going on here. A few patrons. Keyboard keys. The hum of the heating. The mumble of my coworkers in the back room talking. But it was just so peaceful. And all I can smell is my lotion and shampoo. XD But it's still SO nice to just sit in quiet.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand my coworker just spoke too loudly and ruined it all, hahahahaha! Have a good one lady! :)

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The next step on the RD road.

Monday, January 11, 2010

So I received the email from the university's program director last night. Reading it was like a rehash of what was online. The gist of it is this: I have to apply to the univeristy first as a grad student, then get into the dietetics program...no duh. Here's the thing....if I don't do this ASAP and start on the prereq's by 2011..I will have to take a bunch of other prereqs because the ones I had already taken will be null & void in 2012 because of a new 10 year limitation on prereqs. If I get in the program before then, I am grandfathered in with what I have already taken back in the early '90s. Uggg. I have to move my intellectual arse here.

So today is this...collect information re: transcipts & where to send them for 1 high school and 2 colleges. Apply to the university. Hopefully I can do this all online within the next 2 days. Wish me luck on that front. If I get into the university, I can take as many prereqs from them ASAP.

Oh, and I asked about the enrollment/demand of the program, as in how many people usually apply and how many get it....basically, online they accept 20 students out of a pool of 40-50 applicants. So I have a 50/50 shot. Nothing like putting all of ones eggs in one basket. I don't care, I'm going for this program. I figured the worst case scenario...I beg and send them to my Sparkpage to really get to know who I am! ROFL!!!

Don't think I didn't flip out last night when I received the email....I did and I got tremendously overwhelmed about time and money. I'm taking this one step at a time and I am going to try my best...the first step is to get accepted into the university. Next step is to scope out classes online and in town, just in case I cannot take them online.

Baby steps...just like how I lost weight...using baby steps....

and to breathe...

and to try my best.

Because: (Breaking out my motto's here)
- It will all work out in the end.
- God has a path, all we have to do is have faith that we chose the right one.
- I believe in myself and my abilities.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMLION 1/12/2010 8:21PM

    emoticon way to do it!!!! I'm so excited for you! emoticon

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ANNIEONLI 1/11/2010 3:52PM

    The university application is in and the transcript requests are written and enveloped for tomorrow's mail!! All done today! Woohoo!! So excited!!

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HEALTH4LYFE 1/11/2010 3:34PM

    Sounds as if you have a plan, and a back up. If your success with losing your weight and reaching that goal is any indication of how you will do, I can only envision you as a dietician of the future. Take care. Take deep breaths. And Take it easy.


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KATYROSE7 1/11/2010 12:29PM

    You go girl!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to school right now too. Follow your dreams emoticon

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TASOGAREBAN 1/11/2010 12:04PM

    You know, that's exactly right. I was worried in the beginning of your post because it did seem like a time crunch, and it IS. But there are other ways to get into these classes, like going to an actual university or taking the classes wherever they are offered. No matter what, I believe you'll do it. Your life will just be up and down for a few weeks while you rush through it but it was the same way when I was getting the house under my name. Rush, rush, rush but SO TOTALLY WORTH IT! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! I'm so excited, lol!

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OAKBORN 1/11/2010 10:38AM

    So PROUD of you!

And yes, the baby steps you have learned from losing weight will absolutely be tools that will aid your new journey!

How exciting! Totally jazzed for you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I did it...now I feel sick

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I did it. I just email the university inquiring about the RD program there. I feel sick. I hope I don't come off like a complete dolt in the email...with all my questions about prerequisites. I mentions " 'an online' communtiy sparking my passion for nutirtion and helping people." - that's a direct quote.

OMG - I have to go to work. Trying to breathe.

I'm tearing up....WTF is wrong with me? It's that first step...leap....flight...whatever. like falling in love all over again. Please God, please let this work out. please please please

Trying to breathe.....hoooooo haaaaa hooooo haaaaa

breaaaathee!!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FORTYANDFAB1 1/10/2010 1:34AM

    emoticonYou would make a great RN. You seem to have the personality to make your patience for get about there problems. Good Luck , my prayers are with you. you will be graduating before u know it.

Comment edited on: 1/10/2010 1:39:18 AM

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HEALTH4LYFE 1/6/2010 10:23PM

    Looking forward to hearing what happens. And BREATHE, you sent an e-mail with an inquiry! It should be fine.

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IAMLION 1/6/2010 10:11PM

    oh no, canned message! that sucked huh? you mean you have to wait that long? that seems a bit cruel after all that work you put into your email. hehehe ok, I 'm done teasing you.
That is awesome, you hit the send and you're on your way, well after the 11th. hehehe, couldn't help myself!
emoticon (there I go again!)

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ANNIEONLI 1/6/2010 4:37PM

    Thanks everyone! I ran into work and my coworker looked at me like "hmmmmm, what's going on?" She doesn't know anything yet. Let's just say I was a bit flushed like...well, whatever...you know emoticon

Well...anywhooooo...I got back and there was an email in my Inbox from the woman I emailed...SO Excited!!!! Only to open a canned message "i will be returning to the office on January 11th"....UGH!!! What a downer!! Well, like everything in life, there is NO instant gratification whenever you really want anything awesome! emoticon

Can't wait for Monday!

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TASOGAREBAN 1/6/2010 2:00PM

    LOL all you did was send an email! Calm down, I'm sure you'll get a response and all your questions will be answered. After all, it's a university. You need to know all the details before deciding that this is the right course and they have to understand that. That and they probably WANT you to apply and get enrolled and all because that's how they make their money, LOL! You'll be fine, you're doing GREAT. :)

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OAKBORN 1/6/2010 1:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You did the right thing and I'm sure you sounded just fine!

You did the right thing for YOU! And that is OKAY!

Did you see the mom on biggest loser last night... tiny little gal on the show with her son... Jillian first asked said, "I bet you have always put everyone before yourself" and then got into her face and yelled, "Are you ready?" and she yelled back, "YES! I AM READY!"

Hang in there... you have us!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MFLEESAK 1/6/2010 1:51PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PRINCESSMANDIE 1/6/2010 1:51PM

    It'll be ok, I'm sure you didn't sound like an idiot and it will all work out for you. I must add that you're blog made me laugh and made my day just a little bit brighter after the horrible day I was having. Read my blog if you want a laugh cause I'm sure it's funny to someone lol.

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KGELDOF 1/6/2010 1:51PM

    Congratz on hitting send! Crossing my fingers for you!

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Food tracking

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I was surfing yesterday...QUIET lurking and PEEKING if you will...& not on my friends pages, just so's you know.

This is what I saw:

- no food tracking at all

- wacky foods tracked for DAAAAYS on end....ie. a donut does not contistute a healthy meal (I kid you not)

- half-day tracking....doing good then - bam - nothing. Dinner DOES count, if you ate it track it, even though you might have killed your good day



Ok - I'm sure I can list mooooore, but that was the gist of it.

Do yourself a favor if you are stuck and not going anywhere on the ticker....track your food...every bite counts when you want to LOSE weight. I know it's tedious and some people might not even have access to a computer or SPARK after every meal - even so, right it down & log it later; trust me, tracking gets better and faster the more you do it. I'm maintaining and I STILL track to stay on the right path.

Ok...that's all...just an observation.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMLION 1/6/2010 10:04PM

    I've been tracking good for the last three days now emoticon and HEY that donut that I had yesterday did not push me over my calories either so it was fine. See our newest member of our office wanted to bring donuts to be nice and she didn't know that pretty much all of us were getting back to diets, etc... anyway I couldn't not eat a donut like most of the others b/c she felt bad that she brought donuts and we were dieting(another co-worker filled her in on our office diet decision) so see I had to eat the donut. I ONLY ate one, I promise! Check my tracker, it's there and I am so proud of myself for staying in my cals. I was good, right? yeah, I was, hmmmm... hehehe it was tasty! emoticon

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TASOGAREBAN 1/6/2010 10:21AM

    Yeah I'm guilty of that too, the half-day tracking, LOL. Usually because I'm always around my computer during the day but once I get home it's just a hassle to go to my comp to try to log it. That and if I make it or heat it up I know how many calories it is. Anyone else in the house makes it or if we order out, I'm at a loss for calorie counting. But I am trying especially this new year. I have to get on it!

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OAKBORN 1/6/2010 9:18AM

    I've been sooooooo guilty of this too much in the past year. Too many no-count days, which are fine every once in awhile... but assiduous tracking is it sistah! You are so right!

It's so easy to play mental games with ourselves and think we are being slick!

BTW, forgot my pedo today, but I will hit TM tonight to make up for it!

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JOHNMARTINMILES 1/6/2010 7:43AM

    It seems that a lot of people subscribe to one of two theories. the first is that if you don't write it down, it didn't happen therefore not tracking food means weight loss. The other theory is that one should post up to his or her calorie range each day and then stop.

LOL

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