Thursday, March 18, 2010
Hey all....Boy oh boy, it's been a while!!!
Here's what's been up. Studying hard, trying to balance everything (which was starting to work) and then BAM! the kids got a virus on Fri night, and that ended that studying steak and I got sick as well on Monday night. Probably a good thing in retrospect....I have been off the wagon for a while. The virus kinda reset my body, so to speak.
Maintenance is different when you lay off tracking everything you eat, so stress had unleased some bad habits (ie. the carb-lover) and the corned beef & cabbage & irish soda bread didn't have a chance in my house! I'll pat myself on the back for staying away from the sugary stuff tho - that stuff will kill me. Anyway - itt's all about balance, and eating right, falling off & getting back on is cyclical & normal, so I tend not to freak out as much anymore.
My energy levels are really garbage right now- totally because exercising has not been fit into my routine. Again, not going to flip out - I'll get back to it when I find that balance, but I'm starting to feel that "ITCH" you get when you slow down to a crawl. The change in time is playing havoc as well....again, not going to flip out - this too shall pass, like everything else.
I have to openly admit - I'm envying a bunch of you "fitness" people right now!! I'm using you all as inspiration to get moving again! You keep my brain on the fact that it's there and not going away! So thanks for that! Keep doing what you're doing - I'll be tooting my horn along with you soon enough.
I took my Spark Lifestyle Checkup today...Got a big fat red arrow pointing DOWN telling me to get my proveribial keester in gear again by tracking and exercising...... haha ...NO DUH!! Hahaha!!! I love taking those things and being honest...a great litmus test of what's going on.
Anyway - that's my 5 minutes that I have to spare....which of course went into 15 minutes! Haha!
Thanks for the well wishes on the status while I was all icky & gross! you buds are the bestest!!!!
Now....onward & upward!!!!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Getting STUCK happens to a lot of us. For me, right now, I'm totally stuck on this chemistry chapter...I even hit the restart button and re-read the book, reviewed the lecture...and I'm kind of stuck in this fear that I'm not absorbing the material enough to take a 10 question QUIZ for pete's sake. I'm wading thru a brain that is stuck...very frustrating.
But sometimes, we get stuck for a reason. Some might call it Providential...others might call it Hell of Earth. It's all how you look at it...and how you handle it.
In weightloss...getting stuck is hitting a plateau....frustrating for sure OR it's getting caught up in ones negative self image which leads to a spiral of emotional eating. So...here, getting "unstuck" is our most important challenge.
Spark's Fast Break is great for getting UNSTUCK. I use it everytime I fall off the proverbial wagon, so much so that it is now a part of my daily routine. But sometimes the stickiness is still there - I can drink gallons of water and tell myself I'm awesome in the mirror a billion times, but depending on my brain...it takes waaaaay longer than I'd like to get unstuck. (I'm feeling a little like that right now because that "vacation" really threw me off in my school work & it is pissing me off)
When this happens, i usually blog it out - Boy, I highly recommend blogging. My family looks at me & says "I could NEVER talk to strangers online....why should I blab MY business all over the place like that." Weeeellllllll........it's cathartic, that's why. if you are feeling alone, depressed, overstressed, angry, frustrated....whatever... .well, it's like the old time trick of tying a note to a helium ballon & letting it go into the air, or writing something on a note & burning it. or going to therapy. Same difference if you ask me. Except here on Spark...you get immediate support, so why the heck NOT? Even if you just put out there something once in a while, for goodness sake, it's better off that keeping it inside! Am I right??
On the vice versa of this...it works for the happy parts of your life too! Noone there when you score big on a test? Shout it out loud! Lose a half pound - toot that horn - that is GREAT! it's a human connection that somehow gets filled in this crazy cyber-world we are all connected to right now, that gives that pat on the back when everyone else is caught up in their own daily lives and you need some recognition for that effort you've done for yourself.
I'll go back to my family's criticism on this point here too..."why do you want everyone to know your business"???? Hmmm....the answer for $1,000,000 is "well, you sure as heck don't ask me, so why not? and besides, it's not like I talk about heavy things on facebook (I keep THAT for Sparkfriends - teehee) and seriously, if you keep things on an even keel, why not?" It helps me get unstuck too.
So...the small point of this blog is this...get unstuck. Try you darndest and change things up and get unstuck. If something is not working, it means that you have to shake things up a bit. Not a blogger - go blog. Not an exercise nut - get a routine. An emotional eater - chuck everything (cathartic there too) and look at the issue head on and attack it. What are we waiting for anyway? Someone to save us? A knight in shining armor? guess what? no one can save you except yourself. As with most things in life - change starts with the person needing the change...so (as Nike say) just do it already. What are you waiting for? It's time to go get unstuck.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
yup - I do! Have to make this short & sweet.
I'm still here but still playing catch up from vacation in my real world because vacations are not really vacations in my world, if you know what I mean - if not, i'll explain later...in the meantime, I'm just going to say that a woman's work is NEVER done and SO underappreciated it's NOT EVEN FUNNY. Ugh....I can say that at this moment because I'm waiting for a tow because our workhorse truck won't start & I'm waiting for a tow from AAA...in the middle of my busy workday that I had to leave in order to get it to the shop. I have so much stuff to do at work it's not even funny. and don't forget school...I have chem to do this week still, which was supposed to be at my lunchhour today, but that is now taken up by the repair shop. Ugh again. OK - vent is over.
Hey, if you are a guy and you read this....make sure you give your woman and BIG GINORMOUS HUG and say "THANK YOU for EVERYTHING" and mean it, because, guess what? we do a billion more things in a day that you cannot even comprehend, all behind the scenes and without thanks and we never get any credit sometimes. We are the glue that binds your world in safety, security , and order, and if you had to juggle all of this crap, you'd go dizzy and have an anxiety attack! And don't even tell us you cleaned the house or cooked a meal...what do you want - a metal? a parade? gimme a break
Ok - now the vent is over...I need a vacation
I miss you guys.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Hey all....I feel the need to update today, so here it goes....be prepared, this is RANDOM! LoL
On work: one word....UGH. I've had a negative week here and there production wise...this was one of them...and my dad has gotten a bad cold, so he doesn't want to work. I'm canceling the day tomorrow b/c of the snow coming...why pay staff to come in for only a few people. Oh well.....tis the biz. I did, however, announce to my coworkers about me going back to school....the office closing/retirement announcement, has been put off for another 3 months and we will go to the end of the year, so we still have plenty of time to break the news to everyone....my dad isn't ready to tell them he is retiring and I'm not about to do it for him....he's a big boy, it's his life...he can do it.
On school: FINALLY got everything up and running....bought a new computer JUST for school and installed an extra browser after much technical nonsense and now all is well. I am slowly figuring out the bio lab (Which is SO cool) and I still have to install the chem lab. I took 2 quizes and got only 1 wrong on each of them....not to shabby for a rusty, old fart! LOL But seriously, I always loved school and science, and it's neat to show my kids some new stuff too. Hubby has been great letting me figure things out and has been very supportive, as usual...gotta love him!
On mainatenance: an up on the scale week, leads to tracking once again, and that in turn leads to feeling better overall....last weeks period and full moon really had me bloated and heavy feeling, so i counteracted that nonsense with exercise and tracking...the result was a 135 on the scale. Don't hate me.....I'm sure it's a fluke, but in the meantime, I can say I'm in the healthy BMI index! LOL I can't even recall that number in my life...ever, so it was kinda nice to see.
On hubby: hubby has had a lot of anxiety issues over the last year....we're contributing it to a mid-life crisis!! LoL....seriously tho, he's seen the doc and everything, and he is in fine health, a little overwieght, but that is all. So a year ago, he cut back on eating and salt a bit...dropped from 210 to 204 and maintained that for a year. A new bout of "whatever" has him watching what he eats...overeating causes him to feel ill, which then makes him 'mental' - so he's stopped the overeating part, and lost a few more pounds in the meantime. I'm proud of him for realizing this on his own. I started my weightloss journey in the same way, and that is why I AVOID a lot of foods now - they make me sick, so I'm happy for him...he's eating to live and not living to eat. He's about 200 now...I'm sure it's going to go lower if he keeps this pattern up.
On me & hubby: Some one asked me the other day: How does you husband like the new you? So I asked him this morning....I can tell you this for sure - he's always loved me for me and so it is a non-issue as far as we are concerned....we met when I was 190. So his answer was thought out and he said, "Well, you are going to do what you are going to do to feel the best you can and I support that - as for your body, I miss "the girls" a bit but you have other parts to enjoy even more now." Hahaha.....he's so funny. So there you go, whoever asked the question - it's straight from the horse's mouth!
A patient at the office who hadn't seen me in 2 years first asked if I was "OK and not sick" and then said, "well, he passed the husband test" - which I kinda thought was rude to say, especially about my husband that she doesn't know. I smiled sweetly and just "haha yes'd" her....ick, people are so dumb sometimes...like if you are heavy you have to stay that way forever. dummy. Just a pet peeve that had to be aired...I'm done.
I will say this...the ladies at the office said that I was thinner than my middle sister now...which is kinda hard to believe becuase remember, I AM the fat sister...but the last time they saw her, she was a little on the heavier side for her. There are just some things that are hard to absorb, and one of them is the self image that we have in our head. Facebook had a "find your celebrity Doppleganger" profile pic going on...weird to even search for someone with a thinner face, I automatically think 'heavy' in my head....even a year and a half later. Anyway, my point was here somewhere...oh yeah, the weightloss thing is a weird thing to comprehend, no matter what size or shape you are. There is a lot of mental work that goes into this, aside from the physical "calorie in-calorie out equation". I like the "Biggest Loser" a lot because it touches on those points a lot.
Anyway...time to get the kids to the busstop...time to babysit and do lots of other things too. Told you this was random, I never lie...well, not NEVER, but you get my drift
Oh oh oh - before I forget! I saw this woman on QVC pushing a nutrition scale - a mom of 3 who's story was that she had worked out and worked out and lost 10 pounds and then stopped losing weight....until she started concentrating on tracking her food and her portion size and how she found that NUTRITION is such an important part of her weightloss...which incidently she pointed out she lost another 40 POUNDS by watching her nutrition intake while doing her normal exercise routine. Just something I wanted to share with everyone....food for thought!
NOW GET TRACKING!!!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Hey all....thanks for all of the support when I stressed blogged last night....I felt better, but that feeling of "OMG LIFE STINKS" was still hovering even today...but as I always say, "Knowing is half the battle" and over the years on Spark, I've learned a lot about my moods and myself, and usually, my TOM and the full moon reek HAVOC on my psyche and stress levels. It usually happens every calendar quarter that I just LOSE MY MIND and the proof is in the pudding...I can trace back blogs and other entries as to my nuttiness too...another reason I highly recommend blogging ;)
SO here is what I did today to break the FUNK...
I walked to work
in the snow
and it felt SO good to be out in the open air, snow stinging my eyes, my iPod in my ears.
WHY today? Well, after knowing me, myself and I for the last 2 years (yes, I found me during this time period)...I knew I had to do SOMETHING. I might STILL feel like I want to kill someone, but at least I will have expended some of that energy in a positive way...and it might help me destress a bit in the process.
~~~~sidenote: stressful patient from yesterday just walked in the door asking for an adjustment and the Doc is busy, & I pleasantly told her to come back in the afternoon....see, I didn't rip her head off...that is progress for today - ROFL!!!!~~~~~~~
Here's another thing that my subconscious was stressing about....waiting for EMAILs stresses me out...yup, they do...especially when it comes to my courses. I was waiting on 2 emails to just START my 2 courses, and I was just about to email them as to what was going on when I got one last night...the organic chem course, which I am telling you right now, I'm already projecting ickiness because the book reads like hieroglyphs, and I'm SUPER rusty in chem. Hmmm...I wonder if the have an "Organic Chemistry for Dummies" book out there? (Gonna have to google that one now.) But I digress.....
Anyway.....sometimes, the best thing to do is grab those bootstraps, pull yourself back up, and change your course of action/mindset/energy flow and see what happens. What is the worse thing that can happen really? not much...but a lot can be affected by just changing an x-factor or variable in your life.
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