ANNIEONLI   43,551
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Put...the candy....BACK!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

That was a text I shot back at my girlfriend this morning....she asked me if jellybeans were fat-free! LOL Of course they are, but we just talked about how we've fallen off the wagon since Easter hit...so PUT...the candy....BACK!!! Or rather....put them in the garbage! Which she texted me back "Put in sink and soaped them up good" - well, that'll work too! LOL

What's funny about our 10 minute conversation this morning is that I confessed to her that I ate rainbow cookies and brownies in the last week ***GASP!!*** {Let me digress for those of you who do not know me very well - I usually stay away from these things ENTIRELY because they can make me sick...literally, if I overdo it. No joke.} and yes, my dear friend's face and jaw hit the floor in shock!! Yup...I ate a Keebler graham cookie on my nieces birthday on April Fool's Day...and I didn't get sick...and that lead to a bite of cake on her birthday again the next weekend...and some rainbow cookies...and then the brownies. There - the Spark confession is now over too. Whew! - now that wasn't so bad! LoL

But here is the kicker....if I keep doing these little snacky thingies...I really will get sick...which is HORRIBLE, so I think I'm done being naughty.

It's a bummer, because right now, all I do is study, work, mom, wife, study, work, mom, wife....you know - the grind we all go thru, and in talking with my girlfriend who is in the same boat as me....well, the food is that bit of control and comfort and guilt that we get to indulge in that is ALL OURS!!!!! and it's ALL ABOUT US in that moment there. A silly stupid moment that ends in regret as soon as it's over...and then the guilt starts in again and then there we go! the emotional rollercoaster of eating begins ONCE AGAIN!!!

....and to stop it is like going through withdrawal or detox - she was just telling me that too....how she gets the shakes (which I've heard before from sugar lovers like herself) and then satiates the symptom with the sugar again. So when she texted me....she broke her cycle a bit - which (to me) is awesome.

So today is my own detox day. I have a buttload of fruit I bought at Costco because it was cheaper..but geez it's a lot!! So instead of letting it go bad - I am on a fruit kick today. Between that and my water, I'm on the road to detoxing the refined sugars out of my body once again....and again...and again. LolL - I know exactly what to do, I've been here before you see, and I've come to far to let the sugary lovely baked good win. Strike that....to let the sugary EVIL baked goods win.

Funny - but I was thinking the last time I felt like this.....kinda stressed out, not happy about gaining a few back and not exercising, the eating drinking & being merry had caught up with me....and it was right around my 10th anniversary and 1 year maintenance sparkiversary in July of 2009. I took control then....I can take control again now. The last time I took control I lost 10 pounds. Hmmm....i wonder where this one is going to take me? My minigoal is 135 (honestly I haven't weighed myself in a week - I think I was 137 then) and I'm due for a SparkCheck tomorrow....but it's not so much about eating, it's about moving again!! The whole studying thing is me on my butt - the biggest change EVER! - and I need to get moving again - whether it be simple stuff at night or walking to work here & there during the week. Something is going to give....I just have to fit it in and do it once and for all.

Boy - I bet I sound like a broken record to a few people, but you know what? I'm keeping this journey real for you as well as me...it's about accountability...transparency....all those good buzz words people use. It keeps me in line. It's like that text that my friend sent me. In essence, this is MY text to you,

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTH4LYFE 4/16/2010 8:50AM

    From one recovering sugar addict to another, thank you for sharing. I have been on my own non stop roller coaster ride with sugar. Go into rehab for a few days and then back out seeking the drug of choice. I know its' my own choice and I just have to decide how much I want to reach my goal versus how much I want instant gratification.
Keep on keepin on. Your strength is inspiring.

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TASOGAREBAN 4/14/2010 5:22PM

    Hey maybe you can freeze the fruit instead of needing to gobble it all down in one day, LOL! Well, depending on the fruit.

And I eat sweets very rarely. Like I bought a small bag of pretzel m&ms the other day just to try it, had two and then gave them to my boss since she was needing sugar. But beyond that I don't normally eat candy and sugar unless I suddenly want it. And that doesn't happen too often. My vices are usually fast food and alcoholic drinks which...sucks, lol!

Take control, homegirl! LOL! Run around your house like three laps and then have some water. BAM! Back on track, hahahahahaha!

Ok well that would work for ME anyways. :)

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OAKBORN 4/14/2010 4:47PM

    Hey Girl!!

I hear you loud and clear! I have been on this chocolate craving thing for weeks now. I just can't seem to get enough, so I've **MOSTLY** been budgeting for it. I don't have the sick thing... which is good and bad.

Might you have dumping syndrome? You get too much sugar and your gut says, "uh NO!" and draws all the water into your intestines and out it goes? My daughter has that... as does my MIL... connexion... prolly!

Keep bouncing back! We'll do it together!

emoticon Be strong!

Comment edited on: 4/14/2010 4:47:40 PM

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YAMINOKODOMO 4/14/2010 3:50PM

    I totally get you! I was like that last week myself! Normally I can do fine without sweets and I am an ultimate sweettooth! But ever since I started this healthy journey I have somehow trained my body to not crave sugary sweets as much as I used to! And I have 100 calorie snacks to help that craving when its to much to bare! But last week, I had a bite of a cake, and it went downhill from there! I was eating cake everyday after dinner! Bad me!

All we can do is just hop right back on that wagon and keep pushing forward. You definitely will get that boost of motivation, if not already! You can lose those 2 pounds I know you can! You are going to look those 2 pounds in the um.. face and let them know who is boss!

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FULLOFFAITH 4/14/2010 1:46PM

    Congratulations on getting back in control. I only know to well how difficult that can be. emoticon.

Keep on the road to success. You are a inspiration. emoticon

Lisa

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SCDALYNCH 4/14/2010 1:20PM

    There are so many of us like this. It is fat free and so it's okay. Sugar is my real downfall. My husband brings in the cookies I don't buy. That is one of my temtations. Very few things realy make me sick. Easter and fixing for everyone was also my disaster. Thanks for this text... I need to read it every day.

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Flipped the bird at my scale

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Everyday I weigh myself, or at least I try to....it's part of my maintenance.

And part of maintenance is to go up....and go down...and go up.....and go down...and go up...

Well, today was an up day. emoticon

And I HATE the up days.

I don't care WHO you are...those days are just NOT FUN!!!!

So I flipped the bird at my scale.

Juvenile - oh yes....did it feel good...meh (as my friend Taso would say)

It's just the constant reminder that this takes work...along with everything else, and sometimes, you just want something to be easy....just for once.

This ain't it...even on maintenance.

But then again....all things good in life do not come easy.

Raising a family - hard.
School - hard.
To find a job you like/love - hard.
Maintaining a marriage/relationship - hard.

But you know what....for all that hard work...to say you are happy, well, then... that is priceless and worth all the effort in the world.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 4/14/2010 4:51PM

    I missed this entry (sorry emoticon!)... keep getting unsubbed and I don't know why. Big bah humbug on that!

But anyway, as usual... I hear/see/feel/taste what you are talking about!

Here's my saying, "The best things in life are paradoxical... they can take you to the highest highs and drag you to the lowest lows within virtually the same moment!"

Hang in there... you are are Mommy Strong! emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/14/2010 4:51:31 PM

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NIKKIG125 4/14/2010 1:07PM

    Love it!!
Thanks for the kind words on my blog!!
Have a great day!

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YAMINOKODOMO 4/13/2010 11:08PM

    I definitely flip the bird at the scale when I dont like what it shows me! It deserves it sometimes... But like you said mainting is hard and so now that I have basically reached my goal weight thats where I am at now and it IS tough to keep it around the same numbers.. but you are definitely doing a great job at mainting! and dont worry the next time you step on that scale and it will be your down day and thats when the scale gets the pat-pat from you! emoticon

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SHAYGETSFIT 4/9/2010 5:19PM

    Oh how many times have I wanted to do that!!!!

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HEALTH4LYFE 4/9/2010 5:11PM

    It's amazing how a number can change our mood from blissful to b1tchful! Amazing how we let a number define ourselves. But many of us do it. Kudos to the few, the lucky, who don't.
And, although it's hard to maintain, emotionally I believe it would be harder to regain the weight and work on losing it again, and again, and again. Hard on the body, hard on the mind. So, we continue to struggle, work harder toward our goals and hopefully, we don't continue to go up and up and up, because we are worth the effort!

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CMRAND54 4/8/2010 8:43PM

    Great blog. You're right that things worth having are things worth working for. I always tell people that the first 15 years of marriage are hard, but after that it's gets easier. I've been married for 38 years, so I know what I'm talking about.

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TASOGAREBAN 4/8/2010 2:25PM

    LMAO! I love it. I've been flipping my scale the bird for the last month. And the last two days I've been sick with a sore throat and back pain so I've barely eaten. But I've lost 2 lbs that I'm hoping won't come back and I'm off for three days after today so I'm not too mad at my scale. I haven't seen a 132 in like three years, LOL!

At least we're healthy right? Kinda? emoticon

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SSDCQUINCY 4/8/2010 8:46AM

    emoticon for sharing!! This is a great blog and just what I needed today!! Thanks again, and keep up the fight it is worth it.

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KELLY3305 4/8/2010 8:17AM

    emoticon

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Huh?? Holy big zit Batman!!!

Monday, April 05, 2010

OMG...this thing is HUGE!!!

GINORMOUS!!!

Right on my CHIN!!! Why oh why God, do you HAVE to still bless us with these huge, painful sebumlicious clear oil oozing things when we are in our 30s???? WHY!!?!?!?!

I must be going through some huge hormonal shift or something...my skin looks disgusting emoticon

Hmmm...maybe it's sympathy pregnancy or something...a bunch of people I know are expecting.,,,maybe it's the increased bit of carbs I've had...maybe it's the stress about NOT eating the chocolate and peeps and jellybeans sitting at my table.

I can be completely honest that it's NOT from eating the easter bunny's loot he left behind. I only had 1 measly piece of candy this year. Maybe it's because my body is stressed and it WAAAAANTTSSSS that ----but sorry Charlie...no can do....it's bad enough that I've eaten the hardboiled eggs. WHOA - hold on a sec....the EGGS!!!! I have had an increase in EGGS!!!!! More than any other time...since I can ever remember!! And in the last 3 day especially!!

Maybe it's that...I'm betting on that one now.

But in the meantime...my chin looks like Mount Etna is going to blow. No makeup can cover this thing up tomorrow...that's for sure.

I'll take suggestions...toothpaste? windex? I'll try anything!!!!!!

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AKASHA66 4/8/2010 5:57PM

    Yup, I thought the zits would be history too, eventually, not yet though at 43.... will it ever end?

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JENSHAWN 4/8/2010 5:43PM

    Just wait it gets better!! I am in my early 40's and I have more zits than I did when I was a teenager!@

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DWEXCEL 4/7/2010 7:25AM

    You are toooooooooo funny girl! I just love how you super analyze things........you are capturing me on paper. Ha! HA! Sometimes, I forget I am in my 50's (will be 51 soon) and you just in your 30's.

And, yes, you always make me smile too!

Love ya!
Donna emoticon emoticon

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HEALTH4LYFE 4/6/2010 11:53PM

    Have the same problem when I ovulate and sometimes just before TOM. I try not too touch it too much so the oil from my fingers doesn't make it bigger. It's usually gone in two days or so, sometimes less.
According to My Big Fat Greek Wedding, windex works on just about everything, but I haven't tried it yet. Let me know...

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YAMINOKODOMO 4/6/2010 12:24PM

    lmao! Your too funny! I still go through that *sigh*... Right before I get my period I break out and so I am like w...t....H! LOL I am sorry I dont have good suggestions for you! But hope you find something to get rid of that beast!

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OAKBORN 4/5/2010 8:45PM

    Sorry about the zit... I got one next to my nose last week but it resolved without much ado...

Your 40s can be doomed too!

I emoticon ed so hard that I shrieked!

You can always make me smile!!

emoticon You are teh emoticon!!!

Mark and Alan vote for the windex!

Comment edited on: 4/5/2010 8:52:31 PM

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MMPWYOSLP 4/5/2010 8:36PM

    Not that this is going to be at all helpful...but may make you laugh! I work in a middle school, and I too get the fine character building experience of dealing w/ acne...still! Seriously when does it END! But the highlight of my day is when a student comes up and says, "Hey. Ms. P didya know ya gotta huge zit right there??" - and points! I always respond with, "Geez thanks Captain Obvious - where's your cape??" Crack me up!

The thing I find that works is the acne mask at night - just a dab on the zit and then wash it off in the morning - at leat it reduces the size! And cleaning it with hydrogen peroxide seems to cut down on the face life of these things!!

Good luck emoticon

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Weird, yet productive day

Friday, April 02, 2010

Make that the last 2 days were weird and yet very productive...

Yesterday we did the yard...it's never looked so good, and it's never been this easy to clean-up thanks to all the work we did last year in one section...a 2 day weed/cleanup wound up to be 3 hours! No kidding!! and the grass is cut and the preen is down...it's all good! We are ready to entertain!! Woohoo!! and that being said, while we were working in the yard yesterday, I noticed a significant change in exertion levels...what would have been an out of breath experience and sore muscles screaming at me even last year, turns out to not be the case anymore...which is honestly a very good sign, because it proved to myself that I am pretty fit, considering my lack of movement as of late! ROFL!! See - proof that all is not lost when things change up!! I know that it will go away, so I'm also happy to say that I've been increasing my nightly workout routines - AT LAST!!! WEEE!!!!

So today, I had my very first paying piano lesson...and the kid's mom never ordered the books online. Ugh!! and I left mine at home - hellooo, you had 3 weeks to order them!! So I winged it, and I think I did a pretty good job considering that I had nothing to go by. Sheesh...I'm carrying mine from now on...lesson learned. When I got home, i jumped right into studying, took a quiz, printed out the labs, printed out another quiz...so I have some stuff to do later tonight, which is more than I've done in the last 4 days!! ROFL....I need a fire lit under my dareierre sometimes, but then again, I always work better under pressure.

So I was trying to study outside, and the boys were playing basketball in the driveway, and of course, someone needed something done,and the studying ended pretty quick. So instead, I grabbed the basketball and started playing with them....it's SO cute how they all hang out and play now that they are older, which got me thinking....I NEVER take these kids out by myself...I am NOT joking (have a gaggle of kids 2 year apart and you'll know exactly what I mean)...and they have been so cooped up in the house this whole week, I started to feel bad for them, but also for myself..."Kids - get in the car!! We're going to get some easter shirts at the Navy of Old!" Their heads whipped around so fast - "what about Dad?"..."nevermind Dad, he's napping....let's GO!! I give him a shout, and if he hears, great...if not, we'll be back in 20 minutes" Off we went like a bat outta heck! Windows open, chalk on their pants, 3 complete sets of mismatched playclothes and all...music playing...to the store!! Yay!!!

I have to preface the next part here...whenever I took the babies out, they were always oogled at...each one-completely different - all oogled...very amusing to me. Well, now they are older, and I have to tout, well behaved MOST of the time, but I figured the oogling was pretty much a done thing. We have our rules as a family, no running in parking lots, hold hands, listen to mom & dad, stranger danger...yadda yadda, but having them alone is like having your head on a swivel that goes 360...and your brain on overload so noone gets lost, they stay near me and together, I find my stuff and theirs in record time in order to not lose the small window of excitement before boredom sets in...the brain processes alone could send one into a tizzy! LoL and that is basically how the trip went...and into the dressing room we go to try on my pants!!

The teenager at the desk just glances at the 3 boys holding their shirts and she just melted (teeheehee - they still ge the oogle it seems) and grins and brings me over to a room...where we all trapse into like an little army. As I order them to sit down in a row on the bench, they all look at each other and start to take off their own shirts to try the new ones on...being Mommy, I already knew they'd fit, but heck, it'll keep them occupied while I try on 2 pairs of jeans. Bam! Done 7 minutes flat!! "Let's go boys!" A world record for trying on a pair of jeans! That fit! In a smaller size! Yay!! mommy's happy - boys are happy...off like a little army we go!! As we pass and I look back to make sure they are all together with their shirts, all I see are people's heads turning and grins lighting up their faces, just like when the boys were babies. I kid you not....it was like it was from an old corny movie or something! Picture it...3 little boys all in a row, smallest to tallest, each carrying an easter shirt in his arms like a prize, right up to the cashier and each plops theirs right onto the counter and grins! I swear I almost peed my pants, it was so cute. Even I could not believe how awesome they were! And they still get an oogle out of a place!! ROFL! The cashier even said with a smile..."they all yours?" (honestly, we get that a lot for some reason, must be the boy thing and their close ages) My oldest goes "yup, we are!" and smiled his flirty smile....guess he's heard it a lot too!! LoL What a crew i have...each completely different, but as a whole, the best little bunch of guys a mommy could have - I am SO lucky!! Blessings counted for the day...1, 2, 3!!

And guess what - we were home within 20 minutes! BOOya!! ROFL!!! Mission accomplished! My hubby was sleepy eyed and "Where'd ya go?" as soon as we walked in the door too...very funny!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YAMINOKODOMO 4/6/2010 12:34PM

    LOL I really enjoyed this blog!

I know what you mean, I work a lot better under pressure which was always bad for me cause I would literally start a project last minute! lol I guess I need that little bit of fear of "am I going to finish this on time" to make doing school work more exciting!

Thats pretty awesome, piano lessons! Hope you are a pro soon!


"the navy of old" LOL I was cracking up. I used to LOVE thore spur of the moment times with my mom because my mom never really did stuff with me and my sister out the house. It was always dad taking us out or mom AND dad taking us out. I remember my mom going, "lets go have a bar b q" I was like "Where, here?" She was like yup, "we will get franks, burgers, sausages, I will make potato salad, come on lets go!" Mind you we lived in an apt building so we didnt have any backyard or grill to bar b q on so we did bar b q ghetto style on the stove LOL It was awesome!

I am glad you had such a great 20 minutes to the navy of old! I am definitely sure they enjoyed the time spent with you too!!

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TASOGAREBAN 4/5/2010 12:35PM

    ROFL! You send me into a headspin just thinking about three boys and taking care of them. I can barely take care of myself, I can't begin to imagine three kids. Kinda like the little ducks in a row crossing the street, hahahahahaha!

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SUZYWM 4/3/2010 4:59PM

    Being a proud mom is a wonderful vocation! It's always great to hear from someone who's loving it, not just complaining because it can be hard. And it can be, we all have our hair-tearing moments! But aren't we lucky? Happy, healthy, terrific kids. Congrats mom - you're doing a great job!

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OAKBORN 4/2/2010 6:54PM

    You are teriffic lady! What a great tribute to you in every possible way!

Congrats and more power to you!!

emoticon

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Falling out of the sky - pure joy

Sunday, March 28, 2010

With the headsets on, everything is quiet and muffled.

And then, you turn the key and it's time to get moving.

Slowly, you push in the throttle and you go faster and faster down the pavement and before you know it, the throttle is full in, the lines on the pavement get closer and closer together, the fuselage shakes all the while the noise is getting louder...and then all it takes is your hand to pull back and there it is - the quiet rush of the air as you climb higher and higher into the sky as the ground falls away into a small and wonderous world of strange familiarity that only a bird would know.

Then there you are...up in the air with someone you hang out with on a regular basis at this point in your life. Imagine the fun of getting to know someone in such an enclosed space. Literally 6 inches away is another person who has a knowledge that you are yearning to possess and while you are paying for this experience...they eventually turn into one of your best friends. Their knowledge holds both of your lives in their hands, but you are the one in command.

"Here, now put these on."

What are those hideous things?

"Blinder glasses"

What are they for?

"So you can't see out....just the instruments"

Huh? Why? You didn't tell me about this part,

"So what? Just put them on and close your eyes and give me the stick. It's time for some fun."

So I did as I was told. I closed my eyes with the hideous glasses on...and I held my breath and tried to pay attention in the dark.

Silence....huh? what happened to the engine? Strange forces on my back and a buffeting sound....that's a stall going on. More silence and a steep pitch down.

"Open your eyes....save us."

Gauges are going nuts - hard right rudder, yoke down and in turned to the left, throttle in...fighting the urge to do the complete opposite and to react to what your body is telling you...to trust the instruments and the skills you learned before this moment.

I can still remember it to this day....the adrenaline rush, the motion of the world around me as instincts took over, and the feeling of accomplishment of completing the task at hand.

"Good. Let's do it again"

Yes, please.

It was one of the coolest things I had ever done in my life and on clear spring days, I can close my eyes and go right back into that small 2-seater airplane and experience those feeling all over again without ever leaving the ground. It ranks right up there with meeting my husband, getting married and giving birth to my 3 kids. Pure joy.

And then I think of this place...Spark...the people....the feeling of accomplishment when a goal is reached. It's like saving yourself from falling out of the sky...and when you save yourself, it's joy. Pure joy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 4/3/2010 4:53PM

    Super cool! Learning to pilot a small plane is on my to do list when my kids are older. I love to fly.

Thanks for sharing, this is fabulous inspiration.

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SASSYSACY 3/30/2010 9:43AM

    What a cool experience and as always, well written!

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TASOGAREBAN 3/29/2010 8:48PM

    So I was totally getting nauseous for the whole beginning of this (I get carsick, seasick and airsick, it's AWESOME, LOL!) and then I liked it because I kinda do get that feeling whenever I accomplish something with Spark. :) So, good job with this blog!

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YAMINOKODOMO 3/29/2010 6:26PM

    well said. Thanks for sharing that! Its a wonderful feeling being saved! emoticon

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OAKBORN 3/28/2010 4:00PM

    I just love your description... almost felt like I was there!!

emoticon

I would have inserted a plane but couldn't find one.

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JENSHAWN 3/28/2010 3:13PM

    How fun and exhilarating !

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ANNIEONLI 3/28/2010 7:46AM

    Just call me a "Jack of all trades" and 'well rounded'- LOL! To put this in a time line: 1994-1996, prekids, prehubby...one of my BFFs and instructor is now a private jet pilot, and the other is a commercial pilot...I, instead, met my husband and the rest is history. I found my headset the other day and my medical license...my weight was 182 & I can tell you for darn sure, I fudged the weights & balances checks constantly by using 170.

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DWEXCEL 3/28/2010 7:18AM

    Wow, you did this? You truly are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was thinking what a great metaphor, but you really know what you are talking about!

Luv,
Donna

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HEALTHYARTIST1 3/28/2010 12:44AM

    What a wonderful blog! It literally gave me the chills, thank you so much for sharing this! emoticon

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