Saturday, September 25, 2010
I went shopping the other day for shirts...my local thrifty and trusty Vanity Fair/Lee outlet. Basically LOTS of layering pieces, lots of sweaters, jeans, dress pants at discounted prices...and lots and lots of searching with a discerning eye for basics...not junk...that will tide me by without breaking the bank.
My focus was on shirts because all I have are old T-shirts that are too large, or that are shrunken to high on the waist and old, or that are just overused because I don't have ANY variety in my closet. In fact, I pulled a bunch of size 8 and 10 pants that were just creating a mess and no room for my nothingness of a wardrobe!
Yeah, you'd have thunk that after I hit GOAL back in 2008-09 I would have bought an entire new wardrobe....but no, because I hate shopping (I'm scarred from the past body - still working on that issue) Kind of glad I didn't spend TONS of cash on stuff because all the stuff I did buy....well, it's too big now!
So I grab TONs of clothes, and hit the dressing room....I bought a lot of key layering pieces all in a size medium, a few repeats (old habits die hard - still working on breaking that one) and no pants whatsoever...I just checked all of mine in my open closet, all size 6s that fit or are sort of loose, but I was having a "skinny" week, so I just fluffed it off as that....they still fit fine.
Well....today I got a surprise!
My little sister left a few clothes in a closet...and I was looking for a pin everywhere to fix my top before heading out to my other sister's baby shower...I searched everywhere, so I hit the closet as a last resort thinking there would MAYBE be a pin tucked in a top or waistband. No such luck...but there were a few pieces of clothes (very cute ones too - she has great taste - I wish I was her like that sometimes). All were in a size medium or small, and I kinda laughed at the irony that MAYBE I could fit into them one day. I even saw a top that I was thinking about calling her to borrow one day....but the last piece was a denim skirt from DKNY...in a size 4.
It looked at me.
and I stared back.
"Would you fit me?" I asked it.
It just stared back.
"I think you'd fit," I said to it.
It just stared back.
"I'm going to try you on and see.... if you don't mind."
So I did. The darned thing fit PERFECTLY! I stared at us in the mirror. WOW. No frakking WAY am I in THAT skirt that my beautiful sister has worn. No way!!!
I ran out to my dad in the living room and spun around to show him like a little girl in a frilly new dress. "Hey, that looks pretty good on you - perfect in fact," he says. I beam, "It's a size 4 Dad."...."Really? Wow! Maybe you can borrow it"..."Yeah, I know, it's so cool! I've NEVER been NEAR this...ever!"...."Congrats honey, you look great."
And then I took it off...and hung it back up in the closet.
I have to PS this whole thing by mentioning that everyone I saw was making comments about my "thinness" - not in a bad way...in a surprised way really. Maybe it's the more clingy, more fitted clothes I am trying to embrace a bit more than the oversized junk I've been wearing. I will say that I have been keeping off 4 extra pounds for the last 4 weeks....I'm 133 now....never thought I'd see that number...wasn't on my agenda, that is for sure, but I like it here more than the 137 I was for a long time. Clothes fit better, I feel better, I'm not trying to really lose, but I'm eating better overall....I'm toning up when I can. But I hate to even admit this, I felt very defensive about it...like I was being accused of doing something bad...I even went to far as saying I wasn't trying, but people don't want to hear that either. Now I'm just saying "yes, and thank you for noticing...I've been maintaining this for a while now."
Anyway, it's been a weird week for me in that regard. Mentally, I am 137 or 150 or 168 or 175 or 187, depending on the day....my mind sees one image while the mirror reflects another. I've written about this subject before, and it is still there, not an issue, not a disorder...more a fact of life that needs to be dealt with.....that will eventually fade over time as the mind and body come together as one. It takes time...and with anything, patience is key to change and adapt to a new situation.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wow!!! How time flies!!!!
Anyway, people around here are probably thinking that I'm looooong gone from Spark. Oh contrare mon frare!! While I have been quiet here, I have still been tracking like a nut. Keeps me sane, what can I say. And with that, things in general stay steady....which is a very good thing.
I can even say that EXERCISE has been up this past month!! I KNOW!!! WTH?!? WHO is this woman????? ROFL - again, it has kept me sane!
So school is back in session - I still have to finish up the other classes I started back in February (a goal for the fall) and I started another, more structured class....LOVE the professor. Probably my age by the way he talks (ie, writes), and he has a good sense of humor, which makes it cool and more light hearted. The entire family is now in school - so it makes for an interesting and busy fall...once you throw in soccer and practices, and religious education...and extended family stuff....That old chestnut. It's all good
My mother in law is still healing from her major surgery a month ago, but again, it's all good. She did lose about 30 pounds, and I thinkshe is on the road to losing more. Another family member is on her own journey, and is using WW...and from what we talked about, she has a good handle on things and a good outlook. She said that I inspired her in the way I completely changed the way I use food, view food, and never deny myself anything I want to eat. I think she has made her own breakthrough....which is what needs to happen (IMO). She sees that maintaining is hard, but doable too. I'm proud of her for seeing and saying and doing....she will be just fine.
I have to do a mini report on my husband here....he is TRYING to maintain between 160-165. Yes, through portion control, he went from 225 to 160 this past year and I cannot be prouder of him. I said "trying" because he is still experimenting with foods, still slowly losing because he body is in that mode. Maintenance is a tough thing to start and figure out, but he will do it. Now, I can hear some people saying "Well, why don't you just show him what to do?" Well, because I CANNOT. It is HIS journey. It is HIS body that HE has to figure out.
Well...that being said....I have to pop off to my local discout clothing store. We need some new shirts in this house, and when I say "we" - I mean EVERYONE!! The whole lot of us!!! It's starting to look pathetic and shabby - not the image to project! So off I go!! Wish me luck! I need clothes SO badly it's not even funny. So now, with NO kids in tow - I'm taking the opportunity!
hope all is well with everyone here! Wish it was more exciting on my end....but it is what it is...
Friday, August 27, 2010
I woke up with the thought Cleanse or not to Cleanse? That is the question! in my head. For me, that is a no brainer....the answer is simply "no".
I came across a bunch of blogs lately talking about this very subject...and in fact, last year my neighbor tried one (please note the word 'tried') and she gave me the paper instructions on it....which were enlightening on a few levels, and insane on all the others.
Here was her cleanse...concentrating on her liver and stones in particular. I will not go into detail, since I have forgotten them, but I will tell you this: it involved a day or so of fasting, drinking a water, ESPOM salt and olive oil mixture, and then laying down on the couch to let the "stones pass". Sounds so yummy, doesn't it. By the way, the end product of her 'cleanse' was 5 days of misery, light headedness, and starvation.... sure she lost weight (of course she did, she wasn't eating properly and was not drinking properly)....and guess what, she bailed on the last day to finally eat something proper and had diarrhea for 2 more days and today, she looks the same way as when she started. So worth it, huh?
Now, I am no food expert (yet), but I will say this - the body and the body's cells KNOW automatically what are good and bad things to keep in them and expel. It's on a microbiological level here. Forcing the issue with concoctions and potions that verge on the point of poisoning your natural system just does not make sense to me....or to nature. If you want to do one....go right ahead! just do it under the supervision of someone with experience with it....a LOT of experience...like an 80 year old monk from an ashram in Timbuktu who does one every month since he was 10. Have fun...enjoy.
Which brings me to a second pointed subject that I have come across, diet soda's in particular and what I see people putting in their shared food trackers (OH yes, I look on occassion). I KNOW they have no calories, but seriously, the other stuff in them is as good as drinking the stuff in the cleanse!! Chemicals that your body does not need, but hey since it is zero calories - have at it! 2 or 3 a day is just fine...right? ............ Right?
I want everyone who reads this to THINK about their diet. REALLY THINK about it. Sure, you can track all you want and be in calorie range, but if what you are eating is questionable chemically - maybe, just maybe, if you swap it out for a healthier product, you might drop those pesky pounds that have been plaguing you, or it might kickstart you OUT of a plateau. What can you substitute out for a healthier choice?
- White bread for whole grain.
- Diet soda or Crystal Light (all those Nutrasweet drinks) for just plain water.
- Creamer for lower fat milk.
- non-fat creamer (look at the sugar cals here) for non-fat milk
- beef for turkey or chicken or fish or pork
- fried for grilled or baked
- mayonnaise for extra virgin olive oil and spices
- mayonnaise for a pesto or chutney or salsa - all fat free
I can go on and on and on about substituting out stuff. I do it everyday, because I HAVE to now.... my body does not react well to over-processed foods. It came about that way over time...naturally. I never say never with food either....that is not the point of living life if you deny yourself...but when Spark talks about moderation...it means, every once in a while with portion control, on special occasion, on holiday....heck on a particular day of the week even!
Which brings me to another subject that has been floating through my brain..and touched on by Maha in her blog. Organic vs. regular produce. Here's my stand on it....organic is better if you can get it....and afford it. BUT if you are in your grocery store, and are just starting out, and are all confused as to what to do there....just get some produce!!! ANY produce! #1 It is way better than the canned stuff. #2 it tastes better than the frozen stuff, which is great for some things, surely. #3 it's better than NOT getting it at all!!
Play with your food. Make your own chutneys and salsa's and pesto's. Cut it up and prep it when you get home. Make that a part of your shopping ritual. Rachel Ray has something there when she talks about it on tv. Besides, you are more apt to eat it if it is ready to rock than if you have to prep it when you are hungry! You will be SHOCKED at how proud you will be if you do this for yourself and make it a habit.....I promise!
OK - thanks for listening to my mini-rant. This is what floats around in my brain when I am alone with my 3 sons and no adult conversation to speak of. I might get slammed on a few things, but so be it. I can only speak for myself....and maybe make others think.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
First and foremost, a MIL hospital update for those following: Status quo from the last update...slow and steady...still in ICU, probably for another week. If she gets out earlier, then it will be joyous gravy!! :)
OK - to the blog at hand:
I have to admit - I really don't eat out at restaurants for several reasons - #1 I have my own personal chef (my dear hubby is that good)---#2 small children and sit down restaurants don't mix (at least mine don't...until now)---#3 we never have a sitter to GO out (hahaha)
So today, I brought the kids to work with me, and I told them, if they were REALLY good, we would go OUT to dinner at a restaurant....and not McDonald's or BK. HOOK----LINE-----SINKER....I had them!! Oh boy oh BOY were they GREAT today!
...... and so, after this long and draining week that ended in the longest workday on record....with kids in tow to boot....we went out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday. Is it Ruby Tuesday, or Ruby Tuesday's???? Anywhooo. I digress...
Did you know that TODAY of ALL days, the nutrition info on the restaurants website was down?? well...it was! I know because I looked! Eeeesssh! I have been SO good, and did not want to break my streak. OK, OK, OK - confession time...I have JUST GOT up into my calorie range each day...and by a hair. That is why I am tracking - so I can GET to that range, because stress now, makes me forget to eat. Talk about a 180!
Now in the place, I looked and drooled at the menu....buffalo chicken sandwich (the waiter was just describing the pretzel bun it was put on and all I saw was a scale wiht numbers next to his head shooting to the sky!), the quesadilla, decisions decisions.....my eye landed on the herb crusted tilapia. "HMmmmm," says I, "Maybe that is the way to go tonight - I never make fish for myself, and I've had this and that before, I can make them at home. But the others are SOOO goood and I have been underall week and blah blah blah blah....." you catch my drift. The menu debate...and a BLIND menu debate too! I have no idea what anything is, so I went half with gut/half with guilt on the decision....the fish.
Now, I like Ruby Tuesday because they give you the correct portion most of the time, the stuff is fresh, a good product...and my kids eat everything on their plates...because it is the correct portion size, even if it is french fries and chicken strips.
The food comes and In literally 5 minutes....we are done eating - we are fast eaters, what can I say. Waiters LOVE us too....not picky, not apt to complain, quick tip, and done! Whallah!
So I get home and start researching...Guess what WORKS now?!?!? The Ruby Tuesday website!!! Ta-DAH!!! and off I run to look things up..on there and on Spark.
All I can say is that I made the BEST choices I could, with the info at hand...probably could have done even better if I had the info I needed, but all in all...not too shabby. It was still a 900 calorie meal...but compaired to one that could have been 2000 or 4000?? I will keep my 900 cal meal, thank you very much.
Which brings me to why I blogged this. It is SO deceiving. What you think are not too bad, are HORRID 80% of the time. A quesadilla, for example was 1300 calories just for that! I could have had the buffalo chicken burger for LESS calories! and those don't even include the sides! Believe it or not, the sirloin was one of the better choices on the menu...and I always thought it was the chicken!
So this girl's lesson is learned...do some research first if you can and if not, do the following
- order the broiled fish
- order the sides plain b/c if you don't they will throw the whole hog on it if you don't specifically say not too
- stick to water (the drink alone was a treat, but 200 cals I could have axed easily)
I think it is safe to say that this will be my rule of thumb from now on...unless I am seriously craving something on that menu....THAT is a different story entirely!! and a different blog as well.........
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