ANNIEONLI   47,663
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a love/hate relationship

Monday, November 29, 2010

.....with what you may ask??

My pizza dough thinnest tummy I have ever had.

See what I mean?!?

No amount of stomach crunch is going to ever get rid of the skin. None. I have to accept that.

The stretch marks are like tattoo's or scars from an old battle. I have to accept that.

But I love the fact that I have definition where there was none.

I love the fact that when I try to wear something fitted I do not cringe inwardly and hang it back in the closet....although at times of the month, there is no way I would wear something fitted. emoticon

I mentioned it to my now skinny husband that it's amazing how men's bodies and women's bodies are so different....for pete's sake, he looks cut without even working out at this point...that son of a gun! He just looked at me and said, "honey, you've had 3 kids, it's part of you."......a compliment of "your still sexy to me" would have been a nice add, but I'm not going to split hairs here emoticon

So the moral of the story is to accept the things we cannot change, and try to change the things we can....preferably without major surgery emoticon although....if I were loaded....yeah, at this point in maintaining, I'd get a tummy tuck! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 12/13/2010 10:40PM

    How well I understand what you are talking about! My belly is still like a crumpled up paper bag... and I look so much like my mom after 5 kids...

However it did get some better after hauling around 50# of gear for 3 weeks with the Army... so you could try to procure some combat boots, a molle vest, 2 full canteens, an assault pack (HUGE back pack) crammed full, and an M16 and try that for a workout!

Put all that on and run up & down hill... or walk 5-10 miles a day with all that on! You will tone up!

I honestly love the way Jillian Michaels looks at it... those are your battle scars that show you have lived a life!

Big hugs!

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YAMINOKODOMO 11/29/2010 12:53PM

    I totally agree with you! Once you except that one little thing that bugs you for some reason it feels like a weight has lifted off your shoulders and you just love yourself even more!

You look hot and be proud of your stretch makes! They tell a story about a beautiful mother who has had three wonderful kids and has worked hard to get her body to where she wants it to be, and she made it!

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SMITTY35 11/29/2010 9:27AM

    Nothing wrong in wanting a tummy tuck - though it's better that you can accept yourself the way you are. Congrats to you and your husband for making it to skinny! I'll see you there some time next year ;)

and I *LOVE* your background photo!


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CARRIE1948 11/29/2010 9:24AM

    Words to live by

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A silly thankful

Monday, November 22, 2010

I had no intention of doing my makeup today....or even showering...until maybe later in the day, but not this morning. I figured I'd get the kids to school as usual, hit the grocery store, as is my routine, and then come home and shower up....but today, I jumped in the shower real quick, and my makeup turned into a test for my little sister's wedding next year...AND to try and cover this huge GINORMOUS ZIT that decided to say hello this week on my cheek. I played up the eyes mostly to distract people from the zit...and then I decided to try on my little sister's purple shirt she gave me in a bag of hand me downs (yeah, I need clothes and I am not afraid to try even my thin sister's stuff on now!) ...anyway, it fit! So that just made my day start even better!!!!

It's nice to start off a day feeling pretty (even despite a mammoth zit) and to be in a de-stressed and happy mood. I admit that it's been crazy around here, and today just felt different....less crazy, and you know what? I'll TAKE it! It's been a looong time to feel this way! LoL

Well, I am glad I looked pretty today....the produce guy certainly was attentive today! ROFL!!! and the young man in the book store certainly was as well...I think...or maybe me giggling over an Amy Sedaris cookbook caught his attention. Either way, I felt eyes on me all the way to check-out. ROFL!! Once in a blue moon, it's nice to feel like you got "it" took me a long while to feel this way, so why not enjoy it...just a little bit. In fact, last week, my son's friend's grandparents tried to guess my age.....27!!! ahhhh....THANK YOU!!!! ROFL Maybe that is why I feel so darned UP right now!!

I know that these relaxed days are few and far between with the onslaught of the holiday the perfect buzz from a favorite beverage, and it's nice to acknowledge the universe for such a nice gift like today. So thanks, powers that be....Thanks! Even for something as shallow as a stroked ego....thanks must be given! LoL

On a more serious and less shallow note: my other thanks to the universe is to my Guardian Angel, for preventing an accident this morning....someone ran the shoulder and almost crashed into me because they were hurried to turn was a near miss. I'm a lucky girl.

Ying & Yang -Makes the world go 'round.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YAMINOKODOMO 11/24/2010 12:56PM

    I am glad you didnt get hit. Yes definitely thank your guardian angel!

It IS nice to feel pretty every once in a blue! I feel like I look like poop today... my hair is knotted and frizzy and I have been feeling bloated lol I am in dire need of a little makeover.. So tomorrow I am going to where a nice top, do my makeup, fix up my hair, and feel pretty! lol

Hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving and guuuurl you know you still got it!

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JENSHAWN 11/22/2010 6:37PM

    It always the little things (shower) that can be the most rewarding!

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PARKERB2 11/22/2010 3:38PM

    It is a blue Moon this month. Three full moons in a month, so that's a lucky sign for you. Have a good Thanksgiving and keep Sparking. emoticon

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The light at the end of the tunnel

Monday, November 15, 2010

With the advent of Thanksgiving....I FINALLY see the end of the tunnel!

Soccer is almost over. (secret squeal of delight!)

This class I have right now will be over in early December, (I'm rocking it so far!)

The other school stuff is routine now, and scouts (while I seem to have a committee meeting every other week) is managable as well.

So where is my Spark?????

As you can all see, I have been on a Spark hiatus. In the last 2.5 years, I have seemed to take, ohhhh, about one big one a year....and it is usually when I am NUTS with life in general.

Yup, same old chestnut on that front - exercise: nil, tracking food: nil, eating: meh, and as for the last 2 weeks - horrible according to my usual. My horrible might seem healthy to some people's horrible...but it is still not great from what is my usual maintenance boring...and maybe that is why I take these breaks - because maintenance is just that: boring.

Maintaining the weightloss has been fine, but like I said, when the activity is lower, the mush takes over! and lately, I went up into my upper maintenance range....which means that I HAVE to take back control of the runaway cart.

Taking back that control means that it's time to track again....and time to move again....and time to get inspired again. For me, that means loading up some new tunes into the good ol' iPod! Katy Perry's "Firework" was released at the perfect time for me....I needed that boost and that song has got "it" in that department.....check it out and you will see what I mean.

In my world now, I am also constantly talking maintenance with my husband, who is where I was mentally, about 2 years ago. You've lost this weight and now what??? The diet mentality is clinging on for dear life, and the maintenance brain is trying to just...breathe andmake it's own foothold. It's a hard struggle. You don't want to go off track too much because you think you will sabotage all those efforts and never get back on track...then the weightgain comes back on with a vengeance. It is a fear that I deal with every day in my own brain, trust me, and that voice calms down to a whisper, but it is still will always be there. It's LIVING with that small voice that you have to work on, and learning from those past mistakes enough to stop the cycle from happening again.

Living and learning...and keeping one's eyes open to the reality of our immediate world at hand.

The reality of the immediate world will soon be tons of food and baked goods: my nemesis. In general, I don't keep any in the's my rule of thumb, but now is the season for strength of MIND.... to have a treat and move on and not have 2 or 3 or 5 repeated treat performances! And let's face it - I have sons, and those sons will eventually want to EAT and EAT and EAT and to NOT have stuff in the house because of my weaknesses is just plain silly. A new mental thought process is going to be this "I would rather bake for them, know WHAT is in the baked good and what is going in there body, than deny them the moderation, of course" and I love to bake, so guess what?? Mental strength comes in to play once again...and to teach THEM that you can have your cake (once in a while), and eat it (or not) too.

Back to the tracker I keep it all on the healthy choice road until the times when I get to have some more culinary fun!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENSHAWN 11/22/2010 6:41PM

    I only have one son and he EATS AND EATS AND EATS. I can't imagine what it would be like with three! Hiatus or not seems like what ever your doing is working!!

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 11/15/2010 3:36PM

    ... and it is all called maintenance!


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SASSYSACY 11/15/2010 3:35PM


I always find so much strength in your blogs. Way to continue to keep things in perspective, and as always, in such a clever way!

You've been missed so regardless of the reason your back (I'm sure necessity won't last long) I am glad!

Happy Sparking to you, get out those oven mitts and push up your sleeves!

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Your cells and you

Monday, October 11, 2010

you might say....WHAT on EARTH is she doing now?????

Welcome a crash course on your body's cells...and you.

I've been doing a lot...and when I mean A LOT, well ..... lots and lots and lots and lots of reading on this particular subject for a while now. To me, it is fascinating...and illumininating on many levels, so let me bring you into my brain for a bit....shall me, it will tie into Spark somehow or another...but in the meantime...let's go on an adventure.

Not many people think of themselves as anything but a whole giant block of human, when in reality, every little bit of us is it's own little ecosystem, tied closely together in a ultrafine nextwork of teeny tiny, small units of life called cells. (Deep, huh?)

Well, now that we are focused on those teeny tiny cells, we can try to understand a little better if something that keeps that cell alive and kicking, goes out of wack. Each cell has it's own job, it's own functioning tiny universe, with each little organelle doing it's own little job inside of that little cell. If something were out of balance....would that little world function the way it should??? would survive, sure, but would it be working at it's 100% functional capability? Probably not. Depending on each situation, the balance of each cell's equilibrium is entirely up to a foriegn dictator...ourselves.

I have a theory about our bodies cells and the happy equilibrium that each cell can live in and work at encompasses what Spark has been talking about since I've been on here. Eat right, exercise, drink IS as simple as that. Doing that alone will make a body turn from heavy to thin most definitely....keeping it that way is a bit harder, but certainly achieveable...but there is a "but" here that I have running around in my head.

But what if you do all, achieve all ...but do not learn and embrace those changes as changes for good...for life?

Now imagine a happy little has enough water to function at 100% - it brings in the good fuel, makes it's power and by-products, expels the bad - it is a high-functioing homeostatic enviroment...happy and content at an equilibrium it can sustain, if things stay on the normal happy course. Sure, some high fats and sugars come into play here and there....but these cells can handle those ups and downs like a champ now! Recovery back to it's happy equilibrium is fast and quick, with nothing damaged because of the flux.

But sometimes, things will change that happy little cell...water is not as plentiful...key minerals are missing....key fats and/or proteins are missing...the cell cannot make enough energy from the fuel brought in...that energy might not be the correct type of fuel it needs...other cells start growing to make sure that there is enough energy stored just in case there is a complete food/energy shortage. The equilibrium is upset...the cell itself is out of wack, the entire system is out of balance....and then we all know where we are...a sluggish, heavy body wondering when and why this happened in the first place....or worse...we are ill.

Yeah, sure, I have repeated a bit here and there in this mini-lecture, but it stands to be repeated. I shall even simplify:
Food = fuel.
Good fuel = high functioning body cells.
Bad fuel (garbage) = low functioning body cells.
Good cell equilibrium = happy cell
Unbalanced cell = sad cell.

Think about your little cells the next time you eat. How are you fueling those tiny little universes? YOU are the god here. YOU are the caretaker of those little creatures that make up YOU. Are you treating them nice?

It's a question worth asking for sure.....some food for thought, so to speak.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILAC_LOVER 10/12/2010 1:09PM

    It took me a day to digest all of this thanks for the information it has been a motivator for me to keep at it when we all think of weight loss I don't believe we are all thinking about what truly happens on a smaller scale in our bodies hears to balanced cells everywhere emoticon emoticon

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LILAC_LOVER 10/12/2010 12:33PM

    It took me a day to digest all of this thanks for the information it has been a motivator for me to keep at it when we all think of weight loss I don't believe we are all thinking about what truly happens on a smaller scale in our bodies hears to balanced cells everywhere emoticon emoticon

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OAKBORN 10/12/2010 10:32AM

    Entertaining & informative! Just like you!

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HEALTH4LYFE 10/11/2010 9:17PM

    My cells are experiencing a sugar coma right now because I have had too many Brachs pumpkins and Indian corn. emoticon emoticon

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SUCHAHOOT 10/11/2010 7:26PM

    So, if I accept this 'food for thought', my brain will be full of happy balanced cells since this is good fuel, eh?

I like it! Thanks for the ever-so-informative, thought-provoking blog! I can't wait for more as you continue on your educational path! I really don't want to think about my cells right now as i have just finished a meal that they probably are not so thrilled with!

Good to 'see' you, girlfriend!


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A success!

Sunday, October 03, 2010 was a crazy week for me....nothing went right it seemed...well, honestly, now that I think back on it...all the Cub Scout things WERE very successful...and if that was all that was, for my kids, I am extremely happy about a leader, same a mother/wife, again, that same happy sentiment! So I will take the bad for that one good, nah, make that GREAT Saturday that my family had while camping in the woods with a bunch of people we barely knew!

And in saying that...we learned a whole lot about ourselves and those people as well.

We all learned how to shoot bows & arrows, and most of us climbed a rock wall...a few of us to the very top...a few of us not, but at least we all tried! And coming from a girl (ahem...that is me) who grew up as the non-athletic child who could barely get a foot off of the ground on the rope in gym class - this rock wall thing was a huge accomplishment! And we did not pressure anyone to do it....and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my middle son (the shy, reserved one most like me as a kid one) turn to another leader, all on his own, and asked to be geared up to climb the wall he vowed he would never go on. It brought tears to my eyes! The little guy whose legs are a wee bit too short for the rocks and whose legs were restricted by too snug jeans (because I haven't gone shopping yet) listened to the instructors every command and attempted the first two sets, got stuck, and was asked to be lowered down....turned and was cheered by everyone and the grin on his face made my day!! It was awesome!

Unfortunately, I had to leave with my youngest after that (another event for me to get to) - so I missed the big bonfire, but when I saw my little cubs come in the house today...beaming with happiness and completely exhausted, well, that made the crazy week fade away into a fogged memory...well, for a minute at least!

Then it got me thinking about all the things in the past that I did not do because I felt shy, or awkward, or self-conscious....a bunch of missed opportunities that I sometimes wish I could reverse and do again....but then I look at my kids, and this "new me" - this athletic person (yes, for the first time, I WILL say that term and honestly deserve it and mean it when I say it)...this being that does NOT get winded going up a hill, who can run up an incline faster than some kids I was with, who can run a little peanut to the potty without breaking a sweat...this "new" person can DO these things with these kids and enjoy the fun WITH them and encourage them to fly as I had never done before! Now that...THAT is a reward in and of itself....something surprising and an unexpected and unforeseen treat that I will carry in my mind and heart.....forever.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 11/10/2010 2:33AM

    Aawww - you're such a great mom! And as always, I so appreciate your attitude. Hope you're feeling well, happy and as energetic as you sound!

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SUCHAHOOT 10/5/2010 2:32PM

    Aaahhh, you are a ROCK STAR!!! I can just see and feel all of those things you described.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTH4LYFE 10/3/2010 10:23PM

    emoticon emoticon All of the little successes are something to cheer about! Congrats on a great Saturday and the epiphany of how you are a success as well. Thanks for being so inspiring!

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OAKBORN 10/3/2010 10:00PM

    You are such and awesome mom! And a great woman who inspires me all the time with your determination and sense of humour in the face of adversity!

Hang in there!


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