ANNIEONLI   49,101
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ANNIEONLI's Recent Blog Entries

holiday week/new year

Sunday, December 19, 2010

ahhh...the time is FINALLY here!

The last minute things to buy...the last minute things to take care of....the whole hustle & bustle of it all!!!

And yet, what I look forward to the most is the after effect...the kids playing with their toys...the family praising the meal devoured in record time...the lack of cookie eating because we are so stuffed from the meal itself! The silliness of siblings being together!

I look forward to seeing an old friend or two....of driving 7 hours to have New Years at another old friend's house....a spur of the moment lark that has now become a tradition 4 years later!

Most of all, I look forward to the new the last 4 years, no STOP! I take that back, make that 10 years, my husband & I never stay awake long enough to ring it in...but this year, we plan to. There is something about a new year that has all sorts of possibilies in it....maybe I will see someone I have yet to meet face to face! maybe I will run a marathon! maybe I will take ballroom dancing classes! maybe I will renew my wedding vows on a beach! Who knows what is in store? All I know it that the possibilities are endless!!!!!!

Years back, before kids & my husband...before Spark too, the new year was quite the opposite - it was depressing - already filled with things I would never do, of things I would never accomplish, of things that other people got to experience and I justgot to wonder about.

So glad that things took a turn around....yeah, I do thank Spark for a lot of it because I finally found a place and myself in the process.

That is what I wish for everyone who reads this...consider it a cyber Christmas gift Wish for you. If I were magic, I'd wave my wand and grant you whatever you desire...but I have this feeling that it's already right inside your heart.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 12/27/2010 2:21PM

    Thanks for this beautiful post Honey! I've been off spark pages for several months with a seriously ill kid, and the whole world stopped for us. My daugher is improving, but we have ways to go. School is on hold for me, but I only have 5 classes to go and will do that next year.

The recent change is that I can now see a light at the end of the tunnel. I've regained all my weight, which seems like a small thing in light of our challenges, and I'm feeling especially grateful these days for all the small things. It's a great perspective.

But your post reminded me how I felt personally when my weight was down a few years ago. I felt unstoppable.

I know you'll have a great 2011 - you're a doer. Thanks for also being an inspiration!

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YAMINOKODOMO 12/24/2010 1:00PM

    I love the after effect too! Thats what I look forward to most about christmas!

I am happy that you and your husband are going to ring in the new year! I love that about new years eve. Counting down the last ten seconds then everybody cheering and the hugging and kissing, its such a great feeling to be surrounded by the people you love and to be able to celebrate another year together!

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AMJSATURN 12/19/2010 11:02PM

    Thanks.... I love your perspective on things.

Keep busy !!! emoticon Enjoy life

Comment edited on: 12/19/2010 11:03:36 PM

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OAKBORN 12/19/2010 9:41PM

    You always give fantastic food for thought, my friend! I hope your holidays are wonderful!

We will meet, yes we will!

Best always!

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FIREBIRD3423 12/19/2010 8:16PM

    emoticon thank you

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Take it on the chin

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Yeah - some times you have to just take it.

The lack of tracking, exercise, eating right. Admitting the hard plain truth that you are not doing what is right is the hardest and first thing to do in order to get back onto a more positive path.

So what do you do....or rather, what do most of us do?

We ignore that truth that is staring at us in the mirror and keep on going on the same road as before.

But the truth is there....and it KNOWS that it is eventually going to come out.

It takes it's time.

It waits.

It can wait for yeeeeeaaars....and years....and years...


The veil is lifted and we see what is really staring back at us.

One does not have to be 400 pounds....or 300, or 200...That veil can come off of a 125 pound person too....

One does not have to be rich or poor or of any particular religious belief....the lifted veil reveals what is inside at our most inner core....the self that needs to be loved.

But self love is harder to figure out than self-loathing. It's easier to be mean than kind in many cases, and even more so when it comes to ourselves. Self love takes discipline and acceptance of things we cannot change, and of accepting the challenge to change the things that we can.

In finding our love for ourselves...that positive energy spreads into other areas of our lives and the people we come into contact every day: our direct families, our coworkers, our friends and our neighbors.

Finding that part of ourselves can take years, but it can be done.

The first step is to look in that mirror and take it on the chin: to say it out loud that things need to change and to immediately say that it starts TODAY....with one little step each day.

That one little step will eventually turn into a yard...the a mile...and a few stumbles along the way are just and only that, a few stumbles that make you learn to regain your stride and balance to take that continuing next step......and so on.

Before you know it. You find it.....


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 12/16/2010 10:11AM

    Oh so true... and I'd like to add: that you can't do it for anyone else. You have to make the decision yourself... no matter how much you hear it from others, you have to pull that veil back yourself.

My moment was waking up one moment and just deciding to DO it.

Best to you always friend!

Hope your Christmas season is the best ever!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DWEXCEL 12/16/2010 7:10AM

    Oh yea, I like hearing that coming out of you! You are awesome and you are the best!

I have been missing you, Girlfriend! It is freezing cold in Florida once again!

And thanks to you, I am a regualar nuturition tracker! It may not always look good, but I do do it! I even tracked Turkey Day, and last Saturday when we went to a Christmas Cocktail Party, will all kinds of appetizers! That was actually worse than Turkey Day. LOL

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KAITLYNN51 12/15/2010 10:03PM

    I've always believed in the saying that every journey begins with the first step. All we have to do from there is keep taking steps and when we fall or stumble get back up and take another step.

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a love/hate relationship

Monday, November 29, 2010

.....with what you may ask??

My pizza dough thinnest tummy I have ever had.

See what I mean?!?

No amount of stomach crunch is going to ever get rid of the skin. None. I have to accept that.

The stretch marks are like tattoo's or scars from an old battle. I have to accept that.

But I love the fact that I have definition where there was none.

I love the fact that when I try to wear something fitted I do not cringe inwardly and hang it back in the closet....although at times of the month, there is no way I would wear something fitted. emoticon

I mentioned it to my now skinny husband that it's amazing how men's bodies and women's bodies are so different....for pete's sake, he looks cut without even working out at this point...that son of a gun! He just looked at me and said, "honey, you've had 3 kids, it's part of you."......a compliment of "your still sexy to me" would have been a nice add, but I'm not going to split hairs here emoticon

So the moral of the story is to accept the things we cannot change, and try to change the things we can....preferably without major surgery emoticon although....if I were loaded....yeah, at this point in maintaining, I'd get a tummy tuck! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 12/13/2010 10:40PM

    How well I understand what you are talking about! My belly is still like a crumpled up paper bag... and I look so much like my mom after 5 kids...

However it did get some better after hauling around 50# of gear for 3 weeks with the Army... so you could try to procure some combat boots, a molle vest, 2 full canteens, an assault pack (HUGE back pack) crammed full, and an M16 and try that for a workout!

Put all that on and run up & down hill... or walk 5-10 miles a day with all that on! You will tone up!

I honestly love the way Jillian Michaels looks at it... those are your battle scars that show you have lived a life!

Big hugs!

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YAMINOKODOMO 11/29/2010 12:53PM

    I totally agree with you! Once you except that one little thing that bugs you for some reason it feels like a weight has lifted off your shoulders and you just love yourself even more!

You look hot and be proud of your stretch makes! They tell a story about a beautiful mother who has had three wonderful kids and has worked hard to get her body to where she wants it to be, and she made it!

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SMITTY35 11/29/2010 9:27AM

    Nothing wrong in wanting a tummy tuck - though it's better that you can accept yourself the way you are. Congrats to you and your husband for making it to skinny! I'll see you there some time next year ;)

and I *LOVE* your background photo!


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CARRIE1948 11/29/2010 9:24AM

    Words to live by

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A silly thankful

Monday, November 22, 2010

I had no intention of doing my makeup today....or even showering...until maybe later in the day, but not this morning. I figured I'd get the kids to school as usual, hit the grocery store, as is my routine, and then come home and shower up....but today, I jumped in the shower real quick, and my makeup turned into a test for my little sister's wedding next year...AND to try and cover this huge GINORMOUS ZIT that decided to say hello this week on my cheek. I played up the eyes mostly to distract people from the zit...and then I decided to try on my little sister's purple shirt she gave me in a bag of hand me downs (yeah, I need clothes and I am not afraid to try even my thin sister's stuff on now!) ...anyway, it fit! So that just made my day start even better!!!!

It's nice to start off a day feeling pretty (even despite a mammoth zit) and to be in a de-stressed and happy mood. I admit that it's been crazy around here, and today just felt different....less crazy, and you know what? I'll TAKE it! It's been a looong time to feel this way! LoL

Well, I am glad I looked pretty today....the produce guy certainly was attentive today! ROFL!!! and the young man in the book store certainly was as well...I think...or maybe me giggling over an Amy Sedaris cookbook caught his attention. Either way, I felt eyes on me all the way to check-out. ROFL!! Once in a blue moon, it's nice to feel like you got "it" took me a long while to feel this way, so why not enjoy it...just a little bit. In fact, last week, my son's friend's grandparents tried to guess my age.....27!!! ahhhh....THANK YOU!!!! ROFL Maybe that is why I feel so darned UP right now!!

I know that these relaxed days are few and far between with the onslaught of the holiday the perfect buzz from a favorite beverage, and it's nice to acknowledge the universe for such a nice gift like today. So thanks, powers that be....Thanks! Even for something as shallow as a stroked ego....thanks must be given! LoL

On a more serious and less shallow note: my other thanks to the universe is to my Guardian Angel, for preventing an accident this morning....someone ran the shoulder and almost crashed into me because they were hurried to turn was a near miss. I'm a lucky girl.

Ying & Yang -Makes the world go 'round.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YAMINOKODOMO 11/24/2010 12:56PM

    I am glad you didnt get hit. Yes definitely thank your guardian angel!

It IS nice to feel pretty every once in a blue! I feel like I look like poop today... my hair is knotted and frizzy and I have been feeling bloated lol I am in dire need of a little makeover.. So tomorrow I am going to where a nice top, do my makeup, fix up my hair, and feel pretty! lol

Hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving and guuuurl you know you still got it!

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JENSHAWN 11/22/2010 6:37PM

    It always the little things (shower) that can be the most rewarding!

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PARKERB2 11/22/2010 3:38PM

    It is a blue Moon this month. Three full moons in a month, so that's a lucky sign for you. Have a good Thanksgiving and keep Sparking. emoticon

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The light at the end of the tunnel

Monday, November 15, 2010

With the advent of Thanksgiving....I FINALLY see the end of the tunnel!

Soccer is almost over. (secret squeal of delight!)

This class I have right now will be over in early December, (I'm rocking it so far!)

The other school stuff is routine now, and scouts (while I seem to have a committee meeting every other week) is managable as well.

So where is my Spark?????

As you can all see, I have been on a Spark hiatus. In the last 2.5 years, I have seemed to take, ohhhh, about one big one a year....and it is usually when I am NUTS with life in general.

Yup, same old chestnut on that front - exercise: nil, tracking food: nil, eating: meh, and as for the last 2 weeks - horrible according to my usual. My horrible might seem healthy to some people's horrible...but it is still not great from what is my usual maintenance boring...and maybe that is why I take these breaks - because maintenance is just that: boring.

Maintaining the weightloss has been fine, but like I said, when the activity is lower, the mush takes over! and lately, I went up into my upper maintenance range....which means that I HAVE to take back control of the runaway cart.

Taking back that control means that it's time to track again....and time to move again....and time to get inspired again. For me, that means loading up some new tunes into the good ol' iPod! Katy Perry's "Firework" was released at the perfect time for me....I needed that boost and that song has got "it" in that department.....check it out and you will see what I mean.

In my world now, I am also constantly talking maintenance with my husband, who is where I was mentally, about 2 years ago. You've lost this weight and now what??? The diet mentality is clinging on for dear life, and the maintenance brain is trying to just...breathe andmake it's own foothold. It's a hard struggle. You don't want to go off track too much because you think you will sabotage all those efforts and never get back on track...then the weightgain comes back on with a vengeance. It is a fear that I deal with every day in my own brain, trust me, and that voice calms down to a whisper, but it is still will always be there. It's LIVING with that small voice that you have to work on, and learning from those past mistakes enough to stop the cycle from happening again.

Living and learning...and keeping one's eyes open to the reality of our immediate world at hand.

The reality of the immediate world will soon be tons of food and baked goods: my nemesis. In general, I don't keep any in the's my rule of thumb, but now is the season for strength of MIND.... to have a treat and move on and not have 2 or 3 or 5 repeated treat performances! And let's face it - I have sons, and those sons will eventually want to EAT and EAT and EAT and to NOT have stuff in the house because of my weaknesses is just plain silly. A new mental thought process is going to be this "I would rather bake for them, know WHAT is in the baked good and what is going in there body, than deny them the moderation, of course" and I love to bake, so guess what?? Mental strength comes in to play once again...and to teach THEM that you can have your cake (once in a while), and eat it (or not) too.

Back to the tracker I keep it all on the healthy choice road until the times when I get to have some more culinary fun!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENSHAWN 11/22/2010 6:41PM

    I only have one son and he EATS AND EATS AND EATS. I can't imagine what it would be like with three! Hiatus or not seems like what ever your doing is working!!

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 11/15/2010 3:36PM

    ... and it is all called maintenance!


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SASSYSACY 11/15/2010 3:35PM


I always find so much strength in your blogs. Way to continue to keep things in perspective, and as always, in such a clever way!

You've been missed so regardless of the reason your back (I'm sure necessity won't last long) I am glad!

Happy Sparking to you, get out those oven mitts and push up your sleeves!

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