ANNIEONLI   47,648
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ANNIEONLI's Recent Blog Entries

Control

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Kind of a rough week for me. I am definitely PMS and the family being home & killing my routine did not help it at all...but on the treadmill this morning, I finally figured out what was off. It was CONTROL.

Control and it's lack thereof....or it's desire to have all...is an issue for a lot of people. I know it is for me.

I read somewhere on-line that Sara Rue, the new JC celebrity rep, finally had to relinquish CONTROL to someone else, her consultant and the food system to finally get a handle on her weight issues.

I read that on one of my friend's pages as well, as well as a Spark Article in Fitness about giving control over to a personal trainer.

It's a really big concept to finally reliquish control and physically BE controlled by another in order to move forward.

And then there are the CONTROLLERS - the ones that NEED to be in control in order to feel (insert psychobabble line here). Controlling ones food intake (or lack-thereof) is a power trip. Think about it: if you feel like you have no control over other aspects in life it is EASY to control that part. And if your unhappy about something or depressed, subconsciously, the eating control can be a wicked combination.

And then there are those that just want to have control relinquished for a bit in order to just BREATHE for a minute to find themselves...because all of the control that they have is a burden at times. Mom's, Dad's, Caregivers, bosses...etc...etc...so many fall into THIS category it's not funny.

Anyway....you get my drift...treadmills thoughts at work once again.

So where do you fall in the line-up?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECKYAD 2/28/2011 8:37PM

    This is what I'm working on at the moment...
So far it seems to be working...I just figured it out when I started tracking my food here on Spark People and Weight Watchers...It's an eye opener...That's forsure.

Thanks for the walking info...I need all I can get. Becky


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AMJSATURN 2/27/2011 10:27AM

    emoticon, I really need to take more control over what I am doing.

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DWEXCEL 2/27/2011 8:09AM

    I am with you there, my friend! The best thing I ever did was start tracking my food, so I can really see what's going on!

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ANITA_NM 2/26/2011 9:37PM

    I discovered that I had to take control. Otherwise, it didn't matter how much I worked out - I was letting my eating get out of control. By logging everything I eat, I've now been able to control my calories, and thus, control my weight loss. emoticon

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OAKBORN 2/26/2011 7:27PM

    Ah, such sage thoughts as always. Control freak is definitely one of my things! I want to control myself so I can deal with the chaos that goes on around me. Getting back in control of my eating, my exercise, my emotions makes me feel safer and healthier.

A former boss of mine once nailed me to the wall when she said, "You try to do everything perfectly so you don't have to face any confrontations." Yep, just a symptom of my control problem, but so accurate it burns.

So I am a self controller, sometimes way too much control. I have a very very hard time letting myself relax and let go. This is one reason I barely drink and don't do drugs, I fear losing control.

Wow... just wow... you are wow!

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VENISEW1 2/26/2011 6:02PM

    Sometimes controller sometimes breathe. How about you?

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Houston, we have a problem

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I finally did it.

I finally - passionately - opened my mouth to be heard.

Did it work....weeeelllll, I have no idea. But I have said my piece and now I am done.

If I did NOT know what I was talking about, then he could seriously have told me to shove off, but the fact is that I DO know what I am talking about, so all he could do was stand there and try to defend his actions and past behavior.

I have said my piece and now I am done.

What is this about???

I will tell you.

It is about losing weight and NOT increasing one's calorie intake to STOP the weightloss. It's as good as being obese and not stopping the eating.

You work out...you eat "nothing "to help your body heal or fuel itself. ..guess what? Some people will stall or plateau...others who are successful in weightloss because of ther "ironwill mindset" and who are so strict on their routine...they, will continue to lose. It might not be 2 pounds a week - it might be a quarter pound - but over months and months - those quarter pounds will add up to some serious pounds.

Now add weights and cardio to the mix almost everyday. Now add the same exact lo-cal eating routine in the past. WOW! You'd think it would be GREAT! Think again.

What happens when a body does not get enough calories to fuel itself? On a person with no body fat to burn...guess what the body starts to break down? Muscle. Protein. It needs protein to fuel itself and repair itself. You won't build anything without proper nutrition....your body will not respond to thing properly after a while...it will get sick because it is literally eating itself to survive.

But do not listen to me.

I do not know ANYTHING at all, ESPECIALLY about diet/nutrition/maintenance.

There is a time to seriously throw away the scale and concentrate on nutrition. This is one of those situations.

I don't think I'd be so empassioned about this if I didn't understand the drive and desire to lose and the fear of the gain. Trust me, I understand completely...but I am also real about how things are in the long run. My vision IS the long run.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANITA_NM 2/26/2011 9:40PM

    Ya mean those diets where you eat 500 calories a day and take HGC are a bad idea? ;)
I could have killed the person at the supplement store when she recommended that to me - our bodies need fuel, and 500 calories a day will cause us to go into starvation mode.

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SUZYWM 2/24/2011 12:53AM

    Wooo - thanks for posting this! It's confusing sometimes, and your point is important, we need good fuel. Hope you get validated for sharing your expertise.
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FULLOFFAITH 2/23/2011 6:03PM

    emoticon a lot of people do not understand!!!!

I know exactly where you are coming from.

Lisa

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OAKBORN 2/23/2011 5:13PM

    I think my favorite analogy about the calories in vs. calories out and the human metabolism was this one. Think of your metabolism like a camp fire: if you give it too little fuel, it can't burn, if you give it too much, you drown it. So you need to eat enough to fuel yourself but still lose weight.

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YAMINOKODOMO 2/23/2011 3:36PM

    Well said!

I need to show this blog to my boyfriend! lol He is starting his weight loss journey and he is doing great so far, I have made meal plans for us but he is burning A LOT of calories, so I am like ok you need to eat more then what I am feeding you... lol At first he was like "but I shouldnt eat more if I want to lose weight." And then I was trying to explain to him exactly what you just wrote but I think your blog sounds better then the way I was explaining! I just want to show him this because I dont want him to think, in the back of his mind that I am making this up cause it be true!

Its good to let out how you feel by the way, if its especially something you DO know!

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ANNIEONLI 2/23/2011 3:01PM

    I think being empassioned and open with him helped a ton. It cleared the air once and for all...but thanks for the offer though TASO!

I think sometimes finally saying what other people are thinking opens people eyes to their behavior. We've already had a few jokes pass between us about the subject today and noone is worse for the wear...and I was not the initiating jokester for once...which means that I was heard.

Today was like an episode of Dr. Drew! ROFL!!!

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TASOGAREBAN 2/23/2011 8:33AM

    Oooooohohohohoho! Who do you want me to take out?? *brushes up on her karate skillz* I'm a bit rusty but I'll get the job done. Also, if successful, I only accept payment in McDonalds cones and sundaes. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe fries. emoticon

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OAKBORN 2/23/2011 8:15AM

    Part of the choir here girl! Preach away!

That is the sort of dialogue I've had internally and with those that understand how it all works... and what I would like to say to people around me... and it's so frustrating...



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Who is this? It must be a podperson

Friday, February 18, 2011

Seriously, where is Annie? What have you done with her???

Who is this person who woke up 2 days in a row, put on her sneakers & hat and actually looked forward to exercise?? Who actually PLANNED to exercise in a specific time and then executed that plan??

What happened to the cyclical exerciser known as Annie?? She was here a month ago...where is she now?

She must have been body-snatched by The Spark again...it's always there...just waiting for someone to set a goal or a streak and then see if they actually do it...that's when The Spark knows that it's got them.

Did she know that when she set up her plan a month ago to just do a measly 30 minutes every other day, that she would honestly do it...and like it...and then **GASP***look forward to it? I don't think so. Is it helping that her husband is doing the same thing? yeah, I think it helps her alot....less mom-guilt. She's been known to have LOTS of that in the past.

This podperson has started craving a certain feeling too...I think it's called an "endorphin" or something like that. Annie not a druggie or anything, but this feeling she likes, it's better than food or wine, and she can get it from her heart beating and her body moving and working hard.

Sheesh...that Spark did it again. Not surprised at all really...it's like trying to resist The Force from Star Wars.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YAMINOKODOMO 2/18/2011 6:59PM

    I am trying to let The Spark snatch ME up right now! lol I love that feeling of loving to workout and lately I havent had that feeling so tell Annie to tell The Spark to send a little snatching my way emoticon Thanks!

Good for you! I hope this feeling lasts fo EVA! Its such a great feeling and the fact that your husband is doing it with you will definitely keep this feeling pumpin!

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ASUPERCOOLCHICK 2/18/2011 5:28PM

    not resist, the force you must! HA I know though isnt it crazy... I'm not a morning person (at all) and this morning - up before the alarm in my tennis ready to hit the treadmill for longer than normal. It can be addicting so you may feel like your on drugs and need your "fix" but its all good. I think I love this feeling and I never want it to go away!!
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SUZYWM 2/18/2011 12:23PM

    A body in motion is a happy body - you're proof positive!

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 2/18/2011 11:52AM

    Great blog - love the title too!

Glad you love the new pod-bod you have become!!

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OAKBORN 2/18/2011 11:00AM

    Yay Podpeople!

I so get what you are saying! My body gets grumpy with me when I don't work out. It will bug me until I do... it's a strange compelling feeling.

Keep up the running!

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Valentine scars

Monday, February 14, 2011

Yup.....Valentine scars...I've got a TON of them.

Why?? Well, it all goes back from year & years of many many things....the main thing being that I was pretty shy & self-conscious for - ummm...forever.

I was the girl in high school who got the white "secret admirer" carnation freshman year from the school because they didn't want the left-out girls to feel.....left out, when all of the other girls were getting tons of colored carnations in homeroom from boyfriends. Yeah, Freshman year I actually thought I had a scret admirer...what a dummy. I figured it out eventually...call it scar #1. Thank heavens sophomore year was not that bad - my group of friends made a point to all buy each other carnations and write special notes to one another....thank heaven for friends. ...but still, I had my heart on my sleeve for someone every year, and every year...nothin'. I always joked I was the marrying kind...even at 16 years old. LoL I think up until I met my husband...the day always left a bad taste behind....even chocolates could not erase.

Looking back every year, I can honestly say that it is one of my least favorite holidays. If there could be a poster child fro a Grinch that Stole Valentines Day - I would be IT!

Mind you I am married to a great great awesome guy too....it's just that he is not a romantic, buy me flowers type of guy. Fancy restaurants have never been in our repertoire because he feels like a bull in a china-shop. Over the years, we just have this undertone of acceptance of who we are...and that love in our world does not require flowers, candy , stolling violins, and clinking china...although I think I'd at least like a Mariachi band once in a while. emoticon

So now that I have kids, I had to make about 60 valentine's day cards for the kids to hand out in school. Thank goodness they are old enough to write stuff for themselves or I would have had writers cramp! add the schoebox mailbox for my 6 year old, and I'm a crafty little cupid! Even so, I woke up today in that same old mood....the Valentine Grinch was making heart shaped pancakes, adding wine to the potroast in the crockpot and making sure everyone had their stuff for school....all the while grumping.

MAYBE we need to spice things up....MAYBE I need to LET him spend money on the overpriced flowers, but really, I'd rather save that for a trip to Disney....MAYBE he needs to just buy me flowers for "whenever" instead of this particular day....MAYBE if I weren't so scarred from the past disappointments/crushes I'd feel a bit happier about this particular holiday.

You'd think I'd be over long lost crushes from my shy/heavy/quiet days...yeah, not so much. It's something to work on...that is for sure. Maybe that is why I am blogging it out...to finally be rid of those thoughts that come into my head every year.

In a few minutes, I have a very romantic appointment scheduled...a trip to my gyno!!! SO romantic!! I keep laughing to myuself that I'm getting a tune-up today! I'll post that funny thought here, because I think on facebook, people might just be like "hey TMI!" ROFL

In honor of my real love who is always by my side...who saw me for me years and years ago..we were both very very heavy too...I'm wearing the very first piece of jewelry he ever bought me - a gold bracelet with a heart on it. When we married....it was for better or for worse, in sickness and in health....and it seems like we have to add in thickness and thinness to those vows. We're both the thinnest and healthiest we have been in years.

In looking back - I will take my unromantic love anyday over those silly Valentine scars I carry around. He's awesome...and I am lucky to have him.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASUPERCOOLCHICK 2/14/2011 5:12PM

    I know those scars. Anytime I think back to school days I feel like I’m Drew Barrymore from the movie Never Been Kissed, but without the hopeless romantic fairy tale ending… ya know it always works out so perfectly in the movies...

I am thankful for the wonderful man in my life who doesn’t get all mushy over this holiday, but what are roses anyway… just money not very well spent and in about 1 week - garbage. emoticon (Disney would be much more fun!)

I was just tickled to death reading of your special appointment for luv day, I laughed and grinned from ear to ear… I don’t know why but it just totally made my day! (Not that I’m happy or bursting over your predicament just tickled reading about how lovely you put it) Now for some strange reason I cant quit wondering how busy those doctor’s offices are on these festive of days… I can never understand my brain and sometimes wonder if I should even try :))
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YAMINOKODOMO 2/14/2011 11:33AM

    I totally get you, I have some scars myself. My boyfriend and I dont go overboard on valentines. Last night we went to dinner to my all time favorite restaurant that we go to all the time lol I dont really care about the fancy restaurants on this day, and like you said, we get eachother stuff during the year, not just on this particular day.

SO valentines day is a very.. I guess.. cute day! lol But for me its just another regular day! I have a date with my new workout dvd/kit tonight that TASO got for me! Looking forward to that! lol

Hope you have a WONDERFUL time at the gyno! lol

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OAKBORN 2/14/2011 10:48AM

    To my ever honest and thougtful friend:

Thanks for making me reflect on with gratitude my un-Valentine's day this year. Hubby is making us a cheesecake for dessert after our taco night dinner.... with raspberry sauce.

Just knowing that you are loved on Valentine's Day is a gift that not everyone can boast of.

So here are some girlfriend Valentine's hugs from MO: emoticon emoticon

Because you are emoticon



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NIKKIG3 2/14/2011 9:18AM

    emoticon

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3 year Sparkiversary - today's ironic pic

Monday, February 07, 2011

3 years ago today I looked like this

I weighed 187 pounds because that is what the scale said that day....and I cut off all of my curly hair that I was hiding behind and I had the hairdresser blow it out straight. This is my first official before pic in regard to my Spark journey. It was a day of rebirth. A day of taking control and not looking back at who I was before, but who I WAS going to be.

Today is my 3 year Sparkiversary.

Ironically...I blew out my hair myself yesterday, just for a change to see it's new cut & color from the week before...and I realized that 3 years ago I had the "same" hair! So in homage to the day - I took this picture in the same exact spot I took my first official Spark before picture. I weigh 131 pounds today.

I don't know why, but this Sparkiversary is hitting me like a ton of bricks. Not only did I hit my original goal of 150 and maintained that and other weights along the way, but I am almost 20 pounds LESS than that original goal weight. Did I ever think that I would be "thin" like this?? No way. The numbers I see on the scale today are quite surreal at times...because it is still a daily battle to forget the number 187 and the image in my mind that I mentally connect with my self-image. Slowly, I bring that number down to 167...then 150...then 137 which I maintained for a long time....the current body self-image has been the hardest part to grasp for me. I think it always will be there in the back of my mind, but maybe that is what keeps me going forward to keep it off in the way that I am doing it.

In honor of today, I treated myself to a really great workout. I got some great tunes on my iPod and off I went. I played some that I started out with 3 years ago...some made me cry just thinking about how hard it was to do 3.5 mph on the treadmill. Today, with a new song - I ran 5.5 for 5 minutes straight with a huge smile on my face the whole time. Feeling my heart pound with that energy running through my body was exhilarating!!! It was SO good to run and remember where I was and how far I had come.

As for the future...I'm hoping I keep up my exercise that I have going on. I don't have any great plans to run a marathon or anything...at this point in time getting outside for a walk or a bike ride with my kids now that they are older would be something to strive for in my world. I plan on eating and tracking the same as I have been doing the last 3 years....it keeps me on point and accountable. I don't plan on hitting the 120s, but if I do, I will embrace those like all of those other unexpected numbers in my life. I plan on continuing my education so maybe, one day, I will be a registered dietician....now THAT is my marathon...it might take years, but I will do it.

In the meantime...it's time to get back to my reality of being a happy, healthy active mom...a mom who can run, dance, sing, laugh and love without thinking...because while I look back at the past and get a bit sad and teary...the present makes me so very happy...and the future is full of wonderful possibilities.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 2/14/2011 10:51PM

    What a beautiful post! I love that you are so successful - not just on SP and with weightloss, but with your attitude! Thanks for sharing this - and congratulations!

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DWEXCEL 2/14/2011 6:42AM

    Love your story, and I Love You too! You truly are amazing and the Best! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Donna

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ANITA_NM 2/13/2011 2:09PM

    That's amazing! :) You are an inspiration!
BTW, I love the hair!

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FULLOFFAITH 2/12/2011 1:57PM

    Look at my SP Buddy. emoticon.That is a incredible accomplishment!!! I hope you never get tired of hearing it YOU LOOK emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Did I say emoticon emoticon

Lisa

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SUCHAHOOT 2/11/2011 8:36PM

    Jiminey Cricket, Girlfriend! 131?? You look mahvelous!! Love the 3 yr update of the pic, same place, etc.

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AMJSATURN 2/9/2011 7:01PM

    YOU LOOK AWESOME emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I just love reading youR BLOGS Annie. I can't believe it has been 3 years. I think I have know you that long.
I am looking positively at this milestone as another one for me.

Thanks for keeping me encouraged yet again !!!!!

Love Peace and Chicken grease
nope not really chicken grease)

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JJENZSLIM 2/9/2011 2:25PM

    Great blog...cograts on 3 yrs!

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SASSYSACY 2/8/2011 11:05AM

    You are amazing.

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OAKBORN 2/7/2011 2:08PM

    You are always so thoughtul! Inspiring reflections!

And I like looking at Maintenanceville as my marathon, great inisights as always.

Embrace the future, you changed it and your past!

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SWEETNEENI 2/7/2011 2:03PM

    LOVE the positivity! HAPPY emoticon!!!

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 2/7/2011 12:26PM

    You might have the same hair, but that's definitely not the same YOU. You look fantastic. What an inspirational, amazing story you have. And the fact that you are maintaining BELOW your original goal weight, WAY below, is completely amazing to me. I can't even imagine getting to my goal, since I never have before. And to stay there for a long time---WOW---just incredible!

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YAMINOKODOMO 2/7/2011 12:23PM

    HAPPY 3 YEAR SPARKVERSARY! Wow it seems like a lot of peoples sparkversary's are around this time! Its so great to think back on how far you've come and you have definitely come a long way.

You look beautiful! You looked beautiful 3 years ago and you look beautiful today! I am so happy to have you as one of my spark friends! You such a great and fun person!

Cheers to another year of sparking, joking, and sticking to this journey of ours emoticon

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LUCKY89071 2/7/2011 12:00PM

    what an inspiring and beautiful post :) i almost cried :O I am so glad that you are enjoying life! keep on encouraging others! thank you!

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MICHELE0008 2/7/2011 11:35AM

    Wow! You look wonderful! Congratulations on your success--losing and maintaining! emoticon

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