ANNIEONLI   50,691
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Comfort zone issues & getting over it.

Friday, July 01, 2011

I've been reading a lot of blogs about the battle between body image and what our body's actually look like now after exercising and dieting (EWWW! I hate that word 'diet' but in this case, I will leave it alone.) I've touched on it before...but it really is a subject that I don't think will ever go away.

I think the thing to do is to confront it head on an really look and say "Hey, I look AOK." in the mirror every single day, and take those before pics out to remind oneself of where you were and where you are now.

Here's a recent something that happened to me in this regard to throwing those comfort zone issues right out the window:

When I went to the beach with my youngest last, he literally TOLD me to take off my coverup...I basically had no choice in the matter! He can be quite the persuasive stinker, that one! So...I did.

The next time we went to the beach (it was last Sunday) and we went as a family. We had a great time (without coverups & t-shirts on over our suits) and around noon....DH & I were talking while the older 2 were behind us throwing a ball....when only the oldest came back alone.

"Hey,where is your brother?" I ask.

"He said he was coming back here...he was babbling about Pokemon and I wasn't paying attention to him so he came back here."

Well, a long, stressed out, panic-y drama saga later...with the help of a bunch of mom's, lifeguards, and cops....we found our middle guy wandering a few lifeguard stations down looking for us!!!! emoticon

Thank GOD for the photo I took of him a half hour before that I showed these mom's...the teenage daughter got a good look and walked down the beach, and found him within 20 minutes of us starting the search. I sure gave HER a huge hug...after I hugged my son of course and told him I loved him but that I was then going to kill him for worrying us like that! emoticon

ANYWAY - my point comes to this. I was in my swimsuit THE ENTIRE TIME!!!! Not ONCE did I think, "I've got to put my coverup on!" I ran - BAYWATCH STYLE - from the boardwalk to the towel - goodness knows how my swimsuit and with flip-flops throwing sand everywhere and beating the lifeguard who was with me...went back up to the police station to fill out a report with the cop....yup, all in my swimsuit.

Talk about a forced way to get over one's hangup!!! emoticon

On the way home, I realized that I was totally AOK with my body image at the beach...probably for the very first time in my life. For goodness sake, for a 38 year old mom of 3 who is not a work-out-aholic per se....yup, I am A. O. K.

Sure, there is always room for improvement...but right's all good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUPERMAMA82 7/13/2011 2:18PM

    Look at you, MRS. CONFIDENT! Way to go!
I'm glad you found your son safe & sound. =)

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SUZYWM 7/10/2011 1:19AM

    So sorry you had that scare - it makes my heart just race to think of it. I'm glad your son is safe and sound.

It is significant that you were able to take care of your situation without worrying about your body. You've come a long way baby! Keep rockin it!


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DWEXCEL 7/6/2011 7:01AM

    Hey Girlfried!

I am superglad you found your son! I can only image the panick and fear you must have been going through at the time.

#2, I'm still looking for that picture of you in your bathing suit.....No Seriously, I am so proud of you. Isn't it funny how we overcome our hang-ups in the most unpredictable ways.

You are the best. And who knows, maybe you could try out for the part if they do a remake of Baywatch!

Love to you!
Donna emoticon

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YAMINOKODOMO 7/5/2011 9:07PM

    First of all I am really happy you guys found your son! Scares like that are not cool!

But I love how you said you ran baywatch style to the boardwalk lol! You are definitely one hot mama and you should definitely be AOK with your body!

Even though I do like the way my body looks I still get a little embarrassed at the beach in my bikini. I might need a little scare to get me to run around in my bikini and not care!

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SLENDERELLA61 7/1/2011 7:28PM

    So glad you found your son. Scary minutes....

But YOU DID IT ALL IN YOUR BATHING SUIT!!! Whoop! Whoop! I am so impressed. Not sure I'll ever get there, but I recognize that is a huge step; a huge accomplishment. You are now comfortable in your own skin, in your own body. What a great way to live!!

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School is officially OUT for summer!

Saturday, June 25, 2011


Well,, yay...hey kids, please pick up the family room.....please stop wrestling, someone is going to get hurt....can you pleeeasse stop repeating everything that he is saying?....Did you hear me??...Do I need to come in there??

I think, depending on the day, I am going to need to don a whistle and a black&white ref shirt.

Boredom = whining

Boredom = constant snacking (I'm talking about the adults too here) emoticon

Rain = boredom which = all of the above

So with the less hectic schedule comes the evils of summer.

So hubby and I are trying to get an economical (ahem, handle on this summer. To keep things busy enough on OUR terms instead of other's terms (aka teams, religious ed, school & scout schedules). We do so much during the year on what other's need us to do...this is what we need to do for ourselves this summer.

THAT is our challenge for this summer....for our sanity.

On our to do list:
- Do some home improvements - paint the outside wood parts mostly.
- start piano lessons for my middle guy...possibly my oldest if he is interested. (I hope they will listen to my teaching or else that is a no go...we shall see)
- speech lessons 2x a week for my youngest (much needed for kindergarten prep - worth the money to keep it going)
- impromptu lacrosse practices on Tuesdays....we don't HAVE to's optional & free
- set up playdates....I STINK at them. Self-proclaimed bad playdate-setter-upper here. I have to work on that and THIS is the summer to do it.
- go to Boston to visit my sister (ROADTRIP!!!)
- go to the wineries out East

I'm setting out my calendar today in between loads of laundry and getting to the planning!

It's time to RECHARGE these batteries!!!!!
WOOHOOO!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 6/26/2011 9:47PM

    Wow, you guys are out LATE! I thought my son was out late in that first week of June! Sounds like your work is cut out for the summer.... now just to buckle down and get it done! Hope it's fun, productive and CHEAP!


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TASOGAREBAN 6/25/2011 1:29PM

    Oooh girl, talk about recharging your batteries. Life with kids sounds so complicated. I am wishing you much patience, much luck but most of all, a TON of fun! emoticon

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CRAZEE4MARIAH 6/25/2011 9:39AM

    i know my sons only been home 2 days and im stressed lol thank god he goes back 2 school on july 11th counting down the days lol:) emoticon

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A beach visit...and on the 1st day of summer too

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

as rare as sighting a unicorn!! emoticon

I don't know what possessed me to get my gear on early and actually go to the beach with my 4 year old. Sure, I live 15 minutes from the beach, but really....I never ever go. Part of the reason was the whole heavy/bathing suit factor issue, another part is that I really don't like sand, another part still is that I don't like to get sunburned (and I am one of those that does not tan..I am red, then pale, then red, then pale - so why bother)...and another part is that I happened to spend a LOT of time at the beach as a kid on the family boat and I just never really was like "Yeah, this is awesome!" - the part I really liked best was sitting in the bow of the boat when it was flying through the waves ( at a whole 20 knots) and pretending I was flying...but I digress.

So today I went out of my comfort zone and went to the beach.....and as soon as we got there...then sun went in and the cool breeze picked up. "Really??? C'mon!! I'm asking for a nice beach day here Mother Nature...this is a rare thing going on...please let the sun come out for an hour."

Me and the peanut had some lunch first, then we played in the sand....and since we are alone, there is no Mommmy read a magazine time....there is Mommy come and play with me time. So it was time to hit the waves and play tag and chase with them, just like I used to do as a kid.

The sun was still hiding..and the breeze was still cool. emoticon

And then.... emoticonThe angels sang and the sun appeared!!! emoticon

At this point, I still have my coverup dress on...but my son, well, he is NOT having it.

"Mama, take that off! We are going to get wet now! Take it off!" says he.

"But honey it's still cold out to me, just a few minutes more, I promise." says I.

"No Mama, I don't like it on. Take it off. I want to sit and get a gogurt." says he.

So we go sit down...he eats his gogurt, and I, yes, I take off the Barney-colored purple sundress.

He sees this action and he is GONE! Right back down to the water! The little stinker!!! He KNOWS he cannot be down there by himself!

I wave him back....he waves ME back with this HUGE $hit-eating grin right back at me and takes 2 more steps to the water. emoticon emoticon emoticon

I start laughing....he's got me.

So I went down to the water and we played, and noone noticed me in my suit...because I just blend in now. Well, not in my head, but I blend in more on the outside now. Really, the only thing people could criticize me of was being an active mom, playing and laughing too hard with my son in the waves.

I got us there and he got me out of my comfort zone...and we had fun...and even though it was only 2 hours, it was still a moment that I will not forget for a long time.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 6/26/2011 9:43PM

    He knows instinctively what you need... while you are wrapped up in your stuff! Kids can teach us so much!

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SUZYWM 6/23/2011 11:07AM

    Fabulous! Kids and the beach can be a great combination, and can make you feel carefree. I love to go, and used to take the kids when we were all crabby, worked like a magic elixir. I'm glad you got out there with your little one, and it sounds like he had some great mommy time. Bravo!

p.s. - I'll bet you looked mahhvelous!

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DWEXCEL 6/23/2011 6:54AM

    I think a picture would be in order! I'm so glad you had a wonderful day with your son! And I have a feeling, you will be going back again, soon!

Luv ya!
Donna emoticon

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TASOGAREBAN 6/21/2011 2:21PM

    Why would ANYONE criticize you for being a great mom?! Forget all that. YAY! I am so very jealous. I've been dying to go to the beach but if I'm not working then I have errands to run or the day is cruddy. I have not had a single chance and I am DYING to go!

Hope you had tons of fun!

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Getting back on track

Friday, June 17, 2011

Yuppers! I have been SO off track and off the radar is NOT EVEN FUNNY!!! Things are slowing down a bit now that school is ending so, WHEW! I think I can finally breathe a bit easier!

I hate it when things get crazy, but crazy is what it has been for the last 2 months straight!

Anyway, back to the tracker I went today...feeling icky for a bit makes me think of my nutrition, and although it hasn't been horrendous, it certainly hasn't been stellar.

A Sparkbud asked me how I keep things in check a few blogs back...and my hubby is now figuring it out on his own as well now too. Getting back on track is just that...when the weekend/event/party/drama is over....well, it's over. Whatever you ate (& drank) is now finished....there is no beating up, there is no OMG I shouldn't have. You accept it as LIFE, and you get right back on track with water and exercise and eating your "normal" the very next day.

I described this lifestyle change to another person as being a really really looooooong string of yarn.

The yarn, from far away, looks pretty darned good. Staight, clean, true.

Now come in close and really look at that yarn.

Up close, the yarn looks way different: there are knots, pills, crazy loopies that stick out, it's fuzzy and not so pretty....but it's still straight and keeps on going.

This lifestyle change is that will have those knots & pills and crazy loopies, but in general, if you keep going according to the nutrition & exercise trackers....things will, in general, stay straight and true and things will keep going your way towards the healthier lifestyle that you want.

Be the yarn ....just don't tie yourself up in knots, that would be bad emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 6/26/2011 9:41PM

    Again and again you pull out the best analogies and deep wisdom. Hats off to you!

I looped yesterday... it was quite the fuzzy... but it's okay.

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 6/18/2011 10:06AM

    great analogy.

like your yarn, life is loopy but we stay on track!

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REBECCATKD 6/17/2011 9:11PM

    Be the yarn...I will be the yarn.

Yarn it up with me, kiddo!

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LOOKINFIT1 6/17/2011 12:04PM

    We've had two crazy months as well. End of school and two ball teams to manage. Nutrition and exercise and home cooked suppers went out the window. It hasn't caught up with me until now, but my reserves are spent. I have reached a point though where I don't fret, I know this will pass and just the desire to get back to my old self helps. Thankfully next week should slow down.

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TASOGAREBAN 6/17/2011 10:41AM

    Interesting that you mention yarn up close being knotty and loopy, fuzzy and not so pretty! I actually think yarn up close is very pretty. I guess I'm one of those, "Finds pretty in disorder," types, rofl!

Well back on the wagon we go! I've been on it straight but this weekend is going downhill. BBQ food with the family for Father's Day! Tons of food, I'm making drinks and sangria for Yami plus probably junk food! But in the middle of it all I'll still be running around like crazy so I guess it kinda evens out? Or maybe I'll just choose to believe that.. emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/17/2011 10:42:15 AM

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MRST92207 6/17/2011 10:36AM

  I have been struggling with leaving the "I cant believe I" in the past and moving on. My goal for this week is to just move forward.

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You get what you NEED

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Yesterday was a rough day for me...not disasterous, but rough as in the "hectic" sense of the word rough.

On Monday I noticed my right front tire for some looked a little flat, so I checked out the treads...pretty worn down & the sidewall/tread was starting to split a bit. I should have taken the car in to get tires right then and there...but I didn't...too busy (a mom's life excuse).

So yesterday, I had to drive out east on Long Island to attend my 1st grader field trip to a the split in the forks if one wanted to look on a map...I'm in central LI, so this drive is about a half hour doing 70 mph. I was running late, I had to get gas, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, I made it out there on time! Yay.

We all had a great time, and at 1pm, it was time to get the kids on the bus and the moms to go home in their cars. Why I didn't car pool was beyond me! Everyone was from the same town! Well, I knew why, it was because I had to jet home to pick up my other son from the sitter's/my friend's house.

Well, I don't know what possessed me after I started up the car and pulled out....but I hopped out to check the tire. It looked was starting to shred. All I saw was a ticking time bomb on my car....and I was alone....far away from my house! So I figured to start heading toward the main business/retail strip in the area where there were car dealers...good thing I knew the area. On the way, I was trying to call my sitter, but I instinctly dialed my mechanic and I was a bit shocked when I heard their voice on the phone - so....I asked for advice! They said to hit a tire place near where I was and have them switch it to the spare tire & then bring my car right to them. Done....I got this...I can do this.

I never found the 2 places they told me to find....Instead, I saw a Toyota dealer and since my car is a I went! I drove right around to the back garage, I got out and walked in...and I pleaded Damsel-in-Distress!! to a mechanic, who took a look, confirmed my fears & told me to run to the front for a work-order so he could swap it out.

Prayer was answered!

I did as I was told....within 30 minutes, the tire was swapped out and they only charged me $10!!! Thank you Riverhead Toyota!!! Thank you kind mechanics!!!!

So now I have to drive....max 62 mph on the highway to get home, so I called my friend before I left and she said that my son's leg still looked a bit puffy and red and hot to the touch......this is Part 2 of my hectic day........

My 4 y.o. son was run over by a shopping cart (thanks hubby!) at the wholesale store on Tues...he said his leg hurt, but he was running on the thing right after so we kinda shook it off and a bit of a sprain. He even went to the beach on Wed with no problems or complaints. By Thurs we noticed it swelling up and getting red and hot to the touch....on Fri (yesterday's rough day) my friend and her Fireman hubby gave me their opinions and one said infected bug bite and the other said sprain & get an xray. Needless to say I called the doctor once I got to their house....and my cell phone battery died. I redialed from their phone and the office said to come right over! Done!

And off I my spare tired mini-van with a swollen ankled kid to the doc in the next town over...and at this point, I need a snack, and water, and a nap, and a box of wine, and a backrub, and a vent.....because this day did not want to seem to end.

So I started praying out loud.

(Here's a clue on me & religion....
- I respect ALL religions
- I don't TALK about religion openly because it is a private matter between one and that organization
- I expect people to respect mine in the same way I respect theirs
- it's too touchy a subject across the board to address 99% of the time - same goes for politics
- I was raised RC and am doing the same for my kids...tradition is strong with me
- I don't necessarily agree with everything in the RC church
- I DO believe strongly in right and wrong and a higher power....and I believe this is the same vein that is in 99% of all religions.
OK - enough said....don't come and attack me on anything....I will delete it as fast as you wrote it. Thanks)

OK - That being said, I started praying out loud as I got caught behind my 10th SLOW person en route to my pediatrician's was a sign from above to slow down.

"God....I really need a break here. I'm a good person, I pay things forward constantly, I don't ask for much, but I really need a break here. I openly know that the whole tire thing was my fault and that I figured it out just in time. Thanks for those mechanics by the way. But now, I really need for this doctor to tell me that it is a bug bite and all I need is a perscription for antibiotics and cream....because a trip to the radiology department really is going to throw me over the edge. I still have to get back home and pack for camping...and it looks like I am going to be late getting out there, so just have a nice weather weekend for hubby because he really needs a nice break with the guys this weekend.....(as you can see- I ramble pray - but you get the drift)

Anyway...that was the gist of it for about 5 minutes which let me calm down enough to drive through town behind the ancient driver in front of me.

Long story short - another prayer was answered...the leg thing was a bug bite and I got the antibiotics and cream answer I wanted....or rather, needed.

I got home....completely exhausted and frazzled...and I got home before hubby, who upon greeting him, saw my face when I was telling him to go ahead with the camper & that I was not ready & that I just needed some time to pack and rest & then I would drive out to meet him for dinner and the one night out....well, he stopped me and said "You don't have to go. I will be fine by had a hard day & need to veg out. Stay home with the boys and go in the pool. I feel bad about leaving you alone with them for 3 days."

Another prayer answered.

So this morning's hair and makeup musing was this. I was in a bad mood from yesterday's nonsense still...and I have to get out of this funk because my girlfriend and her son are coming over this afternoon....this is a long time coming, and this has had it's gliches too, but THAT is another story entirely! But I digress, I have things to do to make this a nice afternoon for us all!

My main gripe yesterday with God/the universe was that I don't ever get what I "WANT" necessarily, but when I look back.......I always get what I "NEED".

Each instance of yesterday's craziness was handled by me...and a universe that happened to smile upon me. Things could have been waaaaaaay worse. I know that...and I am blessed to have guardian angels watching over me....and my family.

Sometimes, when we look at things from a different perspective or at the larger picture, it is easier to see WHY we have our individual hardships throughout our lives. Some hardships are worse than others....others have harder crosses to bear...but I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Over the years (and it may take years to figure out the WHY of the situation), I have seen that the strongest always survive and come out on top...because of sheer self will-power and belief in a higher power or something bigger than ourselves.

The other thing I know is that all of it starts from within. Figuring out what you need....will sometimes get what you want....but really, what you NEED is that baseline to move forward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANITA_NM 6/12/2011 12:57AM

    Yikes! Glad I'm not the only one who thinks her Hubby becomes a menace with a shopping cart inside Costco!
You had a ton of stressful things going on all at once, and you dealt with them all beautifully! You rock!

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OAKBORN 6/11/2011 1:18PM


You are a kind and thoughtful person... as you sow, so shall you reap. The flow of the universe, so to speak.

I am also so glad you saw that tire... and glad that you were led where you needed to go. Glad that you are all safe, sound and healthy.

Keep it on sistah! You are amazing with all that you do for everyone around you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUPERMAMA82 6/11/2011 12:02PM

    Thanks for sharing, Annie! I often find myself feeling like I'm the only one that has to deal with craziness and things going exactly opposite of how I'd want them to go. But, I'm not! Everyone has those days. I'm so glad that God gave you what you needed to get through your overwhelming situations. I hope you have a more relaxing weekend and that you can get a little bit of what you want, too!

emoticon emoticon

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YAMINOKODOMO 6/11/2011 11:22AM

    Its always hard to look at the brighter side in things when you are having such a hard and terrible day but I sort of have that same mind set as you. I dont practice religion but I was raised being taught by my aunt, and a family friend. SO I do believe there is a higher power out there and if you are a good person you will get the help you need like you said! You rairely get what you want but you do get what you need!

I am sorry you had such a hectic day and i am sure it took all your strenth not to just bug out and have some sort of mentally break down! Those days when things are so fustrating one little push and your over the edge is the hardest but thankfully everything turned out well in the end.

I definitely hope you have a much better day today! Enjoy the time spent with your friend and her son. Even though its a bit gloomy, make this YOUR bright and sunny day!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RITA_7856 6/11/2011 10:25AM

  I agree with You, always there is higher power [GOD] is present to help on his own way
at the time which surprise us :)

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TASOGAREBAN 6/11/2011 9:56AM

    You made me tired just reading this blog entry. But at least I got to this one before you deleted it, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, I went there. WHAT. emoticon

My brother believes a lot in the same vein as you, that God doesn't give him what he wants but he gives him what he needs. He's always told me that God has never gifted him with the winning lotto but that whenever he seems to be broke beyond all means, he still comes through everything ok. And then another friend once said to me, never to ask for strength because God will make you work for it to BUILD up the strength yourself. LOL.

Also, since I'm sure you don't watch Doctor Who, I'll tell you about this one scene where the Doctor is talking to his time machine whose essence was placed in the body of a woman. And he complains to her about how she never takes him where he WANTS to go and she replies, "But I always took you where you NEEDED to go." Best line ever and it still sends goosebumps down my arm.

I don't know where this blog comment was going but suffice to say that I hear you and while I can't exactly say I know what you are going through, I've had days where I have felt the same frazzled way and we're still alive! So that's a plus, right?

Comment edited on: 6/11/2011 9:58:03 AM

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