ANNIEONLI   49,372
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Old demons

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

everyone's got them
emoticon emoticon emoticon
They tend to come about during the most inopportune times too: when you are overtired, overstressed, overworked.......just done over like a big hot mess!

I'm not just talking about me in particular this time around....I've noticed hubby working like a dog and his old habit of snacking late at night while working come back a few times, here and there, on occassion. First, I noticed the cake box gone from the top of the fridge....he "confessed" that he had a bad night, and I just told him I noticed...and he immediately knew that he had to reign in the demon before it got out of control. Now add last night's Monday Night Football guys gathering with the cheese dip, wings and donuts....and the poor guy never stood a chance to get back in the saddle like he wanted to! He will though....all it takes is a few days of calm and he is right back into the swingof things - - well, that is what MY plan for him is....and because we share a brain, I know that it is his plan too.

My personal demons have reared their ugly head as well...except instead of eating - I am yelling and just a big ol' beeeotch to everyone I love (I don't think PMS helped the situation either - this month was a bad month in that respect). Me & hubby, who rarely argue or fight, had a great yell-fest that wound up being a good stress reliever for both of us....funny how that happened. But still....who likes yelling???? I sure as heck don't want to be like this all the time, so a conscious effort is being put forth on my part to make a decision and live by those decisions - whether or not people like them or not.....if they do not like them, well, then they can step up to the plate themselves and take on the role that I had chosen to take on. Note the word "chosen".....I did not say "thrust upon" even though it really is the way it is...when noone steps up, I fill in like a good little girl so that everyone is happy. Ha - you might be wondering what it is I am venting about.....what do you think? my one volunteer organization: Cub Scouts, of course! Making a conscious effort to just make a decision and live with any 'haters' that come with it is somewhat liberating. If they don't like it - then they can take over the next campout.

Anyway....those are the gremlins that are bouncing around our house lately.....I wish they would just leave. The good news is that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - either Thursday...or Sunday is the rain-decision to go camping on Thurs...the other is the day we come home on Sun if we DO go camping in a slight drizzle.

This too shall the meantime, I am going to do my best to make the best of an annoying situation.

Now - onward and upward....going to get my walk in and then tackle the next thing on my list: to make a list of camping stuff!! What's the saying? "A boy scout is always prepared!"

Yeah.....whatever.... emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DWEXCEL 9/27/2011 7:12AM

    OMG....Did I write this blog???? LOL! What I love about it, is that you've already made the decision that you're leaving these demons behind. When I read this, it just let's me know that you are human too! Everybody has their obstacles, and you really know how to handle yours, and your husbands too. Sounds like he does too.
I had a cook out on the 17th, and then went to another one on the 24th, and ever since I let myself eat the goodies there, that's all I want. Trying to teach my brain, that it's time to turn that thought off, and get back on track.
You are such a good example!

Luv ya!
Donna emoticon

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OAKBORN 9/20/2011 12:43PM

    Hang in there girly girl!

You are one of the most amazing people I know... you rise above so much with your great attitude so often, sometimes the demons will come out to play. I so understand that!

I am so fighting my own gremlins lately... the ones that make we want to just ball up and wall off the rest of the world and slap out and say "leave me the &*@#*^% alone!" But the world goes on and my good little Camp Fire Girl is there still trying to fill in the holes and be miss cheerful and positive despite the fact the rest of me is long past done.

You are doing the right thing in doing what you can and not stressing on the rest! The demons may have their day today, but you'll wrassle'em back into their box until the next time they escape.

Pobody's Nerfect and you have friends!

(I had another dream that we met again... your husband is very nice, btw.)

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TASOGAREBAN 9/20/2011 10:42AM

    I don't think you have anything to worry about. Everyone has a time where the bad side rears its head. I went through a period like that not too long ago (early September) and even this morning I was a little bit pissy. But then I started to think about some shopping I'm doing this weekend in PA and my good mood slowly coming back. I told my coworker to shut up (which she really enjoys, I don't get it...), she laughed her butt off and I'm back to good, LOL. Weird how things are, huh?

Shrug it off, wipe it away and everything will fall right back into place. emoticon

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    Those gremlins do make life such a fiesta huh... and those haters can suck the fun out of anything. I like your outlook that if someone wants to be snippy or think their ideas are better let them take over the reigns a few times they will surely realize its not all about the fun and games some times and it can be actual work.
Hubs situation I can definintely relate to (the yelling part anyway lol) but ya'll sound very good together and sometimes it can be a good stress reliever just to lay it out so theres no buildup of harsh feelings.

You have a great outlook and situations are never permament so make the best of things and you will always come out ahead!


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STSCOTT11 9/20/2011 9:25AM

    YOUR RIGHT...we all do!
I understand COMPLETELY.
I have been "checking myself" more and more. Really trying to CONNECT with feelings MORE OFTEN...and not let them get too far ahead of me. Recognizing them...acknowleding them...
I am forgiving myself and trying harder to do better.
That's all we can do.
The more we don't hide or pretend and face up to them it only releases us from the strong hold.
Its great that you and your husband even are on the same page about CARING AS A COUPLE about health & fitness. WHAT A BLESSING! And you know...built into life are THOSE DAYS we are "off the wagon" and we have our little fall outs...but THANK GOODNESS for being on THE SAME WINNING TEAM! You get back in the saddle and you CONTINUE THIS WONDERFUL JOURNEY...TOGETHER!
Doesn't get any better THAN THAT! emoticon
Spark on! emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/20/2011 9:28:43 AM

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Walking update a day early - week 2

Monday, September 19, 2011

Yeah, it's a day early, but meh, does it matter?

Ooopsie, I didn't weigh myself today...I think it is 132 - got the that TMI? lol

But I DID try on the dress again...looser around the hips and after contorting like a contortionist in a side-show...I got the zipper zipped up again. That zipper really is a pain!

It's fun playing dressup like this every week! So much so that I tried on some dresses that I have in contention for my 20th reunion after Thanksgiving. A few I have worn before, so I already know what to look for in fitting better....and thank heavens they all fit -- and they fit better too!!! I don't know why I have this fear of things not fitting....must be the inner-fat-chick rearing her ugly head again....but she shut up pretty darned fast today! Let me tell you that!

I really don't know which dress I am going to use....or maybe I'll just go out and get a new one! All are very nice....a basic black sheath dress, an off the shoulder kimono-inspired sheath-type dress (that one needs a hem and this one I am not very confident in...yet), and a snug pencil skirt dress with a blousy A-symmetrical satin houndstooth top attached (that one needs a new belt).....decisions, decisions, decisions! So far, the simple black sheath is #1 on the legs are smokin' and it is just classy looking.

Anyway, back to the walking update!

I really have been stressed lately - and under the weather as well. I did NOT get all of the days of walking in like I wanted for a few reasons (here you go - confession time): I had to work and then go to various scout recruiting functions at the elementary schools...then there was work and a Knights of Columbus doowop dinner dance (I danced, so there was some cardio) and then there was the scout car wash on Sunday where, you guessed it - I washed cars for 2 hours! So it's not like I didn't get exercise in! LoL Just not what I planned to do!

Anyway - I felt pretty good today after finally getting a really good night's sleep - I didn't feel good enough to go walking outside any great distance, but rather I did a LS video and it felt really good to get back to it!! After doing a large variety of exercised the last few days, I could totally feel which muscles needed some attention, and which ones could have used more rest!

On a non-scale sort-of victory...I had a few people at work ask me if I was doing something I answered honestly and said I was doing Leslie Sansone and trying to walk outside more...yadda yadda yadda. So in turn, I asked them what they thought changed? Well, one sticks out in my head - she said I looked really toned! Ha! Imagine that! So I asked where did she see that? (Location on the planet, not my body) She said she saw me walking the other day and she noticed how toned I was....(flashback in my head going on: when and what was I wearing?? only 2 times walking and one was without sleeves - so there ya go!) Giving credit to LS on this one!!! I really haven't done any serious armwork until now with these videos! Too funny!!!! So see....they do work arms as well as the heart and legs!

Doing the arms with the video today was different as well....Felt more powerful in general, more in control of my whole body movements. Hmmm....empowered?? Yup, a little bit.

Now off I go to the rest of the day..."Supermom" is my hat today, lots to do to get things righted after a cookoo weekend.....later I get to put on "Scout leader" hat and do another school visit & then tomorrow I have to get ready for a Friday cub-scout family camping trip....praying for no rain!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DWEXCEL 9/20/2011 7:47AM

    Love it! You crack me up. Can't wait to see pictures of you in the dress. and I know you'll knock 'em dead at the reunion! I've been a little bit of a slacker these days, but will be pulling in on the reins here!

Have a great week!

Luv ya1

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NIKKIG125 9/19/2011 10:40PM

    You must be so proud of yourself!! I would love to be called "toned" someday!

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OAKBORN 9/19/2011 3:12PM

    I liked this blog, well of course I did!

Sounds like a fun but busy weekend! Yay you! You are the toned smokin' mama! emoticon

Keep up the walking and don't forget to take off the SuperMom cape from time and time and rest! emoticon

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FIORENZA 9/19/2011 2:58PM

    Never give up! Even slowly you'll reach you goal!

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my walking update - 1 week

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

So Leslie and I have been meeting pretty consistently for the last week! 5 out of 7 days is a record for me! LoL and today I will be getting my workout in sneakers are ON baby!

The majority of the workouts have been a brisk intermediate 2 mile workout that lasts 30 minutes....on one ambitious day, I did another 1 mile in 20 minutes video...and I was wiped!

Last week I was 135.3 and that bridesmaid dress was barely getting zipped up by myself...let's face it, it was not going up the last 2 inches and was a bit tight when and if I got it...not to mention the back spillage....thus the experiment was born!

This week...after watching my nutrition and faithfully tracking and doing Leslie's walking workout, I weighed in at 132.1. Yesterday the dress zipped up all the way without any help at fact it fit pretty much the way it did when I was 130. I know, I know...oooooo 2 pounds. I get it, but as this experiment goes, that is pretty neat because I was NOT working out at the time of the wedding and I was definitely stress eating and bloated when I was 130. Just sayin'.

Now...on to week 2!

What I hope for:
- to be consistent for another week....the videos are comforting to do at this point - I know what to expect on 2 of them...and I know I sweat like the bajeezuz (more than the treadmill) so I know I am burning calories.
- to maybe see some more tone in my arms/chest/back area...if not tighten the under arm back area....the videos really do work the arms - it's what you put into it and I am giving it 100% to see a change happen...we shall see.
- to make the back of the dress fit even better. I'm not going for this dress to fall off either - just to fit bettter on a more fit body.

As a side note: It is 20th high school reunion is set for the day after Thanksgiving! I am totally going. So far 3 out of the 4 hs besties are going (fingers crossed) and I have to say, my bff Steph looks fantastic! and she is doing triathalons now! and kicking butt and taking names too!!! So proud of her!

I have a few dresses to pick from in my closet - all were like the bridesmaid dress size though...and now that I am doing this, it is just an added bonus and goal to strive feel good in the dress - whichever one I wear!

Ok all!! Back to work!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FULLOFFAITH 9/14/2011 11:34PM

    Ok you have me ready to give the treadmill a break and pull out my Leslie Tapes. I know they are here some where emoticon.

What a inspiration you 20th high school how cool!!! You will have a blast!!!!


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REBECCATKD 9/13/2011 5:29PM

    Your classmates are going to be in awe of all your accomplishments (including your family!). I'm glad to hear your walking workouts are kicking your butt. I may need to look into these...

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STSCOTT11 9/13/2011 8:34AM

    emoticonSO HAPPY FOR YOUUU! emoticon
That's FANTASTIC considering your size already. It is usually much harder to get off the weight at that point.

Leslie is OUR FRIEND! emoticon
I can't wait to hear about the wedding and reunion! I am excited for you.

I went to mine...FAT. emoticonIt was difficult on that level because I was a tiny person in HS. But I wasn't alone because most of the women were around my size. My BFF was a single size and still could DANCE LIKE CRAZY. I was happy for her.

I am going to get back into Leslie when the weather gets cold...which won't be too long.
Keep up the good work. emoticon

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OAKBORN 9/13/2011 8:28AM

    Just keep it up girl! Log those miles!! I always counted my miles with Leslie!!

Report Inappropriate Comment I HAVE to???

Saturday, September 10, 2011

We are having fish for dinner tonight...the frozen fillet kind that my hubby only cooks 2 ways since he discovered this fish a year ago....honestly - I absolutely HATE the frozen fish, but it is cheaper and more ready to use if we keep it frozen than if we did not...another good protein for us to eat....yay. emoticon

I feel like my kids right now. You know kids - some will turn their nose up at the most delectible of foods (according to an adult's palate) and would rather starve than eat what you lovingly cooked for an hour just for their growing bodies.

But still....this fish....ick.

Do I HAVE to eat it?

I really don't want to. emoticon

The thought of it is making me sick...just the texture of it is unappealing...and no, it is not bad fish at's just frozen...and then thawed...and then tough.

Maybe I will pull one of these moves emoticon like the kids do!

Nah...that will just irritate him.

Maybe I will suggest something else...another cooking method maybe!

Hmm...tough thing, because the only other option I can think of is frying the sucker.

Now...if it were shrimp...or scallops.....oh Mmmmm emoticon let me at 'em!! That is what I'm talkin' about!!! These sea creature are such a rare occurance in my life that every time I see them on TV's food network....I drool!!!!

Seared scallops over angelhair pasta in a light wine-lemon-butter sauce garnished with parsley...there really should be a drool emoticon, but this emoticon will have to do.

Why not this drool-inducing dish? A clash of tastes is why. We don't buy stuff unless we both eat it. Yes, very economilcal. Notice I did not include the children - heaven forbid! they try anything new!!! I know...I know....exposure is important and key...but spending money on expensive seafood is not an option if it wil inevitably be thrown away because of picky eaters.

emoticon ***sigh**

More on the list of unpalatable husband foods is pesto....and raw tomatoes...and sundried tomatoes.....some of my most loved things that I forego.

But I do have some solutions - when we eat out at a nice place - I order from my "solo food love" menu....for example.....I had pesto with angel hair twice in a month!!! On vacation I had a citrus mahi-mahi sandwich that was killer! the cheescake factory has this shrimp & angel hair that used to be good....not so great the last time I had it though....hey, you can't win them all!

So now...I guess I am on the restaurant hunt for seared scallops!!

As for the fish....I guess I will just have to eat it tonight since it is defrosted....but I think I will be making a new side dish of curried lentils to go with it....I think it's time to spice things up a bit in the food department!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRUANGEL1 9/10/2011 3:43PM


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CHAOSTHEORY635 9/10/2011 3:42PM

    you might try making a spicy mango salsa and flaking the fish apart into it--this always turns out tasty when i cook it, and the fish texture/taste blends in with the salsa and is pretty undetectable. the salsa freezes really, really well, you can thaw out a little every time your husband makes fish ;)

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My walking experiment

Friday, September 09, 2011

So I have decided to come up with my own experiment for the month of Sept. I use the term "experiment" because this will entail a bit of logging that I usually do not do on a daily basis.

My last blog was about a Leslie Sansone video that I tried out on the free fitness on-demand section from my tv provider. Free is good & the video worked me harder than I have been, so I have decided to make this experiment happen.

Spark will call this a challenge...I like experiment better...because with an experiment, there are serious trials and errors...and since I am more of the scientific experiment it is!

Ok - on to the details! If I get too bogged down in the specifics, I think I will go nuts, so here is just what I am planning off the top of my head.
- on my exercise days I will do her videos...changing things up here and there since there are a few different ones to choose from I won't get bored (I increased my days as well...should be interesting)
-push myself to the max when doing get max benefits....I mean, she is doing this a lot and looks great, so I WILL be channeling the woman as much as possible.
-in the back of my head, I can totally see being able to do this when I am 60 - so this is right up my alley in terms of long-term health and weight-loss/maintenance....which is what I am really going for....running is great, but I'm very practical about long-term exercise sustainablility
- try on one piece of clothing (that recent bridesmaid dress) and see how my body changes while wearing it - week to week. I have to go put it on now...hoping it fits since I gained a few pounds since the wedding. It's a good starting point nonetheless.
- try to get the kids doing this with me...ambitious...very very ambitious, but really, I am thinking about the winter months and we need to be more active as a whole...hoping they can do this simple video and have fun with me at the same time :)
- prove that a simple in-home video is the way to go, especially if one is terrified of the gym or cannot afford it (both for me), is terrified of video's (like I am/was), is feeling like there is nothing out there for them that they can do, is feeling like they have to pay for videos (which 9 times out of 10 never get used and collect dust - totally guilty on this one)
-things I would like to see tone up: arms, back shoulders (yes, from a walking video! LoL) and I would also like to see how my core reacts too - will the waistline shrink? toneup more?? Hmmmm......

So far, in comparison with my usual treadmill workout that I have done forever, I can tell you this:
- I sweat more
- I definitely use more muscle groups that ever before
- my heart rate is definitely higher and sustained longer than when I do some of my treadmill workouts - which I thought were AOK, until I did this video.
- I don't have to think anymore...maybe that is a good thing for an overactive brain :)

I know this is not knew, but since I have this little thing in my head, I figured I'd make it official. There are a lot of people who are also shy about joining Sparkgroups or just starting out, so maybe if someone like that sees this, it will give them a different perspective on the whole working out thing. As many of you know, I'm in this for the looooooong haul and I want to teach people to be moderate and purposeful for their lifetime, and in the end, see results they might not have thought could happen with just a simple video.....whether you are 334 pounds or if you are 134 pounds...change can happen in a month with a simple walking video.

Am I being to ambitious to think that I will be very surprised in how I look by the end of the month? I mean, c'mon, it's not like I am tackling P90X here (props going out to all who do though! Goodness gracious! Mad credit to you guys! but's a video...I am a self proclaimed video-phobe...maybe I will work up to that level! LoL) But am I being too ambitious to expect major changes? I don't know, but really, this is worth a shot to keep me more consistent, especially during this crazy time of year. Speaking of which, why am I doing this now? It IS the crazy time of the year! LOL Maybe - just maybe - I will also be less stressed.

If you want...feel free to join me, especially if you happen to find the free on-demand walking stuff....and let me know how you are doing!

Happy walking!

OK - Here is a P.S./edit - that bridesmaid dress in the pic on my page....OK I tried it on. Originally back in May, it fit like a glove - literally! Let's just say it had no room to spare. I got it zipped up back then, but it was when my exercise was waning off & not perked up a bit - and I weighed 130 or so. A mushy 130. Today, the fit of the dress IS tighter, and I can get it zipped up mostly & with some dificulty by myself, but realy if I had to wear it for a night, well I would be uncomfortable. Ick.

So I am starting this more around 134-135 - my upper maintenance range, and I would LIKE to get back down to the 130 mark...just because this is what maintenance is about....when you creep up into that upper range, you have to reassess and get back on the band wagon to cease the bad habits from creeping back in (why oh why do they always have to peek in and ruin a good thing?!?!) Anywhoooo - this is where we are starting.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FULLOFFAITH 9/10/2011 1:51AM

    Wow!!!! we are on the same page even with me MIA. LOL.... I occasionally do the on-demand exercise and I promised my son who was told by his Dr. he needs to lose 20 pounds that we would commit to evening workouts either on demand workouts or walks after dinner anything to get us moving. I have no clue what I weigh I am scared to go near a scale right now I do know that my favorite jeans still fit (size 14) but not as cute as they did when I went out for sushi 3 weeks ago.

Keep us updated


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REBECCATKD 9/9/2011 11:11PM

    I love the plan, especially getting the kids into it. Maybe you can create a Challenge Poster where they can earn little perks for logging workout minutes with you.

BTW, you COULD handle P90X. Here's the little secret: everybody modifies...shhh...

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OAKBORN 9/9/2011 1:19PM

    You can do EEETT! I know this, you know this!

Leslie got me going and I saw results, real results. She helped me form my fitness foundation without killing me. She is still good to go back to on a rainy day to be sure.

Maintenance range is fun, isn't it?

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STSCOTT11 9/9/2011 12:30PM

    I couldn't go out last night due to heavy ran...for a 3rd day. So I pulled out my Leslie Sansone 4 Fast miles DVD. It was SO MUCH FUN! It was like seeing old
It was a good workout. In that one she "boosts" the walking up to a light jog. emoticon emoticon
In the past I have used the videos mostly and THEY WORK. You do have to keep adding intensity in some form: get down low...exaggerate the movements...use the bands and weights and other things because it doesn't take long for your body to adjust.
GOOD LUCK. emoticon

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