Thursday, April 03, 2008
Today is a great day. I weigh 168. My halfway mark was 168.5 and I punched through!
I'm a little bit in shock. My brain's body image is still in, what I like to call, "fat mode" - but the mirror and clothes say different. It makes me happy and proud that I made it this far.
I can actually see my goal weight as possible. I'm going to just keep doing what I'm doing and keep thinking thin.
Quick note: I'm still sick with this lingering cold. Colors are changing, but it's still hanging on, and now my hubby has it. From what I gather - it's more of a 2 or 2.5 week cold than a 1 week one. I have not worked out in 1 whole week and it is killing me, but I guess my metabolism has changed enough to continue weight loss, and that makes me happy even though right now I am sick.
Monday, March 31, 2008
What I say is true. First thing this morning after my blissful night's sleep last night (thank you Nyquil) was the greeting of the phlegm!
I know - that is SO gross to write about, but the awful truth is that it's a sign! My cold is on its way out!! HOORAY for phlegm!
I'm showered, fully dressed in my workout gear, makeup & hair done, shoes on and ready to start the day!!
Laundry, babysitting, laundry...that's the MO for the day and I am very happy to be doing that! Oh happy day!
Phlegm, I love you!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Gotta love family gatherings. Easter. The whole in-law family got the sniffles/ear infections/upper respiratory infections. A few individuals from each family in complete and utter misery.
We had a Christmas like this one year, except it was the flu!
I've been off my exercise routine since Thursday. I figured a couple days off would be no problem. I feel like I'm missing something now. Who'd have thunk it!!
I've been drinking water, keeping within calorie range - if not on the lower end of the spectrum range most days. Message boarding is at an all time low. My attention span is short because I am so tired. 3 hours of sleep last night.
Hopefully this shall pass this week.
The Pop-up is loaded 90% and almost ready to go!!!!!!!!
So much room in this thing!! I can't wait to go!
Today's blessing to be counted:
- The popup is in great condition and closed well
- hubby cleaned out the shed, tossing a couple ancient cabinets
- we got the kids outside for some exercise and air
- the kids fell asleep fast
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite ;)
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I want to delete the previous blogs, but I won't because it's the truth of where I was recently and it shows that I am human
But being human is also showing compassion and empathy for others. I always try to count my blessings, and in reading some blogs and threads tonight, and then meeting a few new people in the last 2 days, I've felt the need to reflect.
I'm counting my blessings right now, and sending well wishes to everyone who needs them. I hope they realize that they are worth something, are loveable, and strong. I hope they find in their hearts the place where they love themselves. I hope they, in turn, count their own blessings and realize that there is always someone else in the world who has it just as bad, or maybe worse.
When you look at the world in the larger scope, even counting your blessings may seem futile...but they are all yours. to cherish and to hold, and sometimes it's the little things that make the day all worth while.
I met a woman today who's in her 40's, with no insurance at all, who has put her family and kids first her entire life. Now that she's at a turning point with her health, she's going to a clinic to get help. I commend her for her courage. She's embarassed about certain things, but she wants to put herself first now because she has to...from head to toe she want to change. A spark was in her - a little pilot light that was glowing steady, but not yet a steady flame. I reached out to that light in her and got a smile. I hestitated at first to do this to a complete stranger, but I think that the wheels were turning in her head already. If I can help her out, I'll try my best. The ball is in her court.
So sometimes, the little things in life are the best blessings to count. Whether it be a smile from a stranger, or a message board response you needed for affirmation. The scale can say all it wants. We are not made up of what the scale says, we are made up of much more.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Nothing like a slow day at work to keep you going crazy!
I wanted my routine back, instead, I got 2 kids with me at the office!! One has no school and the other is not himself - I think allergies are hitting him. The baby is in daycare, thank goodness. The office itself is SLOW today. Last week was busy and hopping, this week uber slow. And with the kids hanging out, it does not make the time fly by.
My stress eating is creeping up on me. I weighed myself on my dad's new digital scale...you'll never guess what I was looking at. 183!! Do I believe it? Is my scale that wrong at home? I weighed myself this morning and it was 171. I was so happy that I didn't gain, and then I went on that space age thing and I am so pissed off. I LOST 16 FREAKIN' POUNDS ON MY SCALE AT HOME!!! What the hell do I do know?? Change everything I know and logged in??? I know, I know...I've given the advice before. Keep going with what you know and use. But 13 pounds difference??? Was I 200 pounds when I started SP???
All I want to do is eat eat eat. I blew a ton of calories on lunch today, and I'm supposed to be on the TM right now, but I don't have the heart. My size 16 pants are big. I'm determined to get the one size 16 pants that are shrinking along with me to be loose one day. The size 14s are snug, 5 more pounds and I'm in them. The 1X jacket I own is huge. The XL clothes are fitting a little big now. I'm lost and confused as to the scale thing. 16 pounds is 16 pounds on any scale, right?
I am trying to listen to the calm sane side of my brain that gives advice to other people. It's hard when it's so close to home, you know? My logical side is pissed off, that's why.
OK, lunch break is over and I have to move. Dinner tonight is a salad. treadmill is tonight as well. I will overcome this battle. I will win, even if I feel defeated right now.
After Dinner addition:
So things are smoothed out now - I feel like I've been thru hell and back mentally. I'm sticking to what I know. That scale at home is my friend, the others - from the Devil himself. Talking with my sis helped a lot. My husband thinks I'm a loon right now - "duh, the scale at home is what you use, no matter what."
Good news - I didn't blow the whole day calorie wise after all...I had a salad and sweet potato for dinner and just made my calorie range at 1200. Talk about redemption. Now for penance for being an idiot...treadmill here come! (just kidding - I missed the thing today)
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