ANNIEONLI   50,691
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All things pass/volunteer vent

Friday, September 23, 2011

So the outcome of all my stress this week was that I made a final decision that canceled a camping trip for our cub scout pack that I was basically in charge of....I think God intervened with a hail-mary pass because inclement weather has made me decide to cancel it officially.

Lots of lessons learned on this one:
#1 - if you SAY there is a minimum needed to go...then MEAN it. If I had just stayed firm on that one point, I would have saved myself a TON of aggrevation and stress. BUT I did not say NO because I am too nice....and then it all went downhill from there. Needless to say, some rules for camping are now going to be set in stone if I am to be in charge of this section of the program.

#2 - Redundancy of trained leaders is needed...not wanted...NEEDED. Why? because with only me & my husband as trained leaders for an event such as this, there is a TON of unnecessary stress put onto our shoulders because if one of us cannot go on the campout - then the whole campout has to be canceled. I started praying that I didn't get the flu a week ago...that is ridiculous to even think, but I thought it. If there were 2 more trained parents in separate families, then this would not even be a concern....AND it would help out with other decisions as well.

#3 - If, for any reason, a family/scout does NOT get the requirements done in time and the opportunity is/has been offered....it is THEIR responsibility - not mine - to fulfill them or figure out how to fulfill them.

#4 - If parents cannot get it in their heads after X amount of YEARS in this group that email is the most effective communication device that is used by its VOLUNTEER leaders to use...and if they do not check it regularly and MISS deadline because of it....IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM! Grow up people...use your computer, buy a new computer for $400 if you have to - it's an investment for chrissakes, use your crackberry ad nauseum...I do not care....but if I say 'reply' in an email, I mean it. If I say that this deadline is firm - I mean it. I will NOT hunt you down for anything....EVER. End . of. story.

Those were the major lessons learned from this experience...this might end up in an email to the pack, I do not know. I do know for sure that these points will be brought up in the next committee meeting....and written down on paper for the group to see. A post-camping review of the whole experience so to speak....hey, BSA wants that kind of thing done anyway...from now on, I am going by that book.

So that being said, and vented, i am happy to say that I am sitting here in my workout clothes and am going to go on the treadmill for a leisurely stoll today while listening to some new tunes I downloaded yesterday.

Next week is my own family's camping trip in our popup that has been sitting for months unused and lonely...in fact we are going with some friends we made while in scouts - they just bought their own camper! With all the stress of this new school year starting and this whole snafu I descibed above, a change of scenery will be very welcome! Now THIS is a campout I cannot wait to go on!!!!

  
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OAKBORN 9/23/2011 10:38AM

    Honey,
Rest assured that you have done what you needed to do, by the letter of the law, so to speak and for your own sanity.

I understand what it is to be a "fixer"... to want to fix everything for everyone, but you have to have your boundaries too... and when you aren't used to drawing them, it's a very hard skill to learn. And sometimes we have to practice a lot to get it down, ie. RELEARN and RELEARN and RELEARN... (I know this from personal experience).

It's sort of like learning that it's okay to ask for a little time by yourself or to do nothing once terwhile... find your space and claim it to keep yourself healthy and on a lower level of stress.

This asking for & occasionally taking what we need is part of the journey here, I think. To lose the weight, you have had to take time from family, but you have paid them back for their sacrifice in so many ways.

Also, if you make the rules & expectations clear, and they aren't followed, then it's not your fault if they aren't. That is perfectly okay. If they get pissed at you, then they really should look in the mirror, point at it, and see where the majority of their fingers are really pointing.

Take care and enjoy the weekend campout with your family and newfound friends! Sounds like you got some lemonade from the lemons you have gotten pelted with!

emoticon

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STSCOTT11 9/23/2011 9:51AM

    Enjoy your new tunes AND your stroll. Its just what you need.
Your doing the best YOU CAN and that's all you can do.
And don't feel bad...cause perhaps what the other parents MIGHT SEE is they need to be MORE INVOLVED and lend a hand and not leave it all on the shoulders of one willing body.
Is the weekend BAAABY!
Let the stress of the week ROLL OFF your back like sweat does.
Things always work out AS THEY SHOULD even if we don't agree with it. lol
emoticon

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Old demons

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

everyone's got them
emoticon emoticon emoticon
They tend to come about during the most inopportune times too: when you are overtired, overstressed, overworked.......just done over like a big hot mess!

I'm not just talking about me in particular this time around....I've noticed hubby working like a dog and his old habit of snacking late at night while working come back a few times, here and there, on occassion. First, I noticed the cake box gone from the top of the fridge....he "confessed" that he had a bad night, and I just told him I noticed...and he immediately knew that he had to reign in the demon before it got out of control. Now add last night's Monday Night Football guys gathering with the cheese dip, wings and donuts....and the poor guy never stood a chance to get back in the saddle like he wanted to! He will though....all it takes is a few days of calm and he is right back into the swingof things - - well, that is what MY plan for him is....and because we share a brain, I know that it is his plan too.

My personal demons have reared their ugly head as well...except instead of eating - I am yelling and just a big ol' beeeotch to everyone I love (I don't think PMS helped the situation either - this month was a bad month in that respect). Me & hubby, who rarely argue or fight, had a great yell-fest that wound up being a good stress reliever for both of us....funny how that happened. But still....who likes yelling???? I sure as heck don't want to be like this all the time, so a conscious effort is being put forth on my part to make a decision and live by those decisions - whether or not people like them or not.....if they do not like them, well, then they can step up to the plate themselves and take on the role that I had chosen to take on. Note the word "chosen".....I did not say "thrust upon" even though it really is the way it is...when noone steps up, I fill in like a good little girl so that everyone is happy. Ha - you might be wondering what it is I am venting about.....what do you think? my one volunteer organization: Cub Scouts, of course! Making a conscious effort to just make a decision and live with any 'haters' that come with it is somewhat liberating. If they don't like it - then they can take over the next campout.

Anyway....those are the gremlins that are bouncing around our house lately.....I wish they would just leave. The good news is that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - either Thursday...or Sunday morning....one is the rain-decision to go camping on Thurs...the other is the day we come home on Sun if we DO go camping in a slight drizzle.

This too shall pass.....in the meantime, I am going to do my best to make the best of an annoying situation.

Now - onward and upward....going to get my walk in and then tackle the next thing on my list: to make a list of camping stuff!! What's the saying? "A boy scout is always prepared!"

Yeah.....whatever.... emoticon

  
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DWEXCEL 9/27/2011 7:12AM

    OMG....Did I write this blog???? LOL! What I love about it, is that you've already made the decision that you're leaving these demons behind. When I read this, it just let's me know that you are human too! Everybody has their obstacles, and you really know how to handle yours, and your husbands too. Sounds like he does too.
I had a cook out on the 17th, and then went to another one on the 24th, and ever since I let myself eat the goodies there, that's all I want. Trying to teach my brain, that it's time to turn that thought off, and get back on track.
You are such a good example!

Luv ya!
Donna emoticon

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OAKBORN 9/20/2011 12:43PM

    Hang in there girly girl!

You are one of the most amazing people I know... you rise above so much with your great attitude so often, sometimes the demons will come out to play. I so understand that!

I am so fighting my own gremlins lately... the ones that make we want to just ball up and wall off the rest of the world and slap out and say "leave me the &*@#*^% alone!" But the world goes on and my good little Camp Fire Girl is there still trying to fill in the holes and be miss cheerful and positive despite the fact the rest of me is long past done.

You are doing the right thing in doing what you can and not stressing on the rest! The demons may have their day today, but you'll wrassle'em back into their box until the next time they escape.

Pobody's Nerfect and you have friends!

(I had another dream that we met again... your husband is very nice, btw.)

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TASOGAREBAN 9/20/2011 10:42AM

    I don't think you have anything to worry about. Everyone has a time where the bad side rears its head. I went through a period like that not too long ago (early September) and even this morning I was a little bit pissy. But then I started to think about some shopping I'm doing this weekend in PA and my good mood slowly coming back. I told my coworker to shut up (which she really enjoys, I don't get it...), she laughed her butt off and I'm back to good, LOL. Weird how things are, huh?

Shrug it off, wipe it away and everything will fall right back into place. emoticon

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ASUPERCOOLCHICK 9/20/2011 10:06AM

    Those gremlins do make life such a fiesta huh... and those haters can suck the fun out of anything. I like your outlook that if someone wants to be snippy or think their ideas are better let them take over the reigns a few times they will surely realize its not all about the fun and games some times and it can be actual work.
Hubs situation I can definintely relate to (the yelling part anyway lol) but ya'll sound very good together and sometimes it can be a good stress reliever just to lay it out so theres no buildup of harsh feelings.

You have a great outlook and situations are never permament so make the best of things and you will always come out ahead!

emoticon

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STSCOTT11 9/20/2011 9:25AM

    YOUR RIGHT...we all do!
I understand COMPLETELY.
I have been "checking myself" more and more. Really trying to CONNECT with feelings MORE OFTEN...and not let them get too far ahead of me. Recognizing them...acknowleding them...
I am forgiving myself and trying harder to do better.
That's all we can do.
The more we don't hide or pretend and face up to them it only releases us from the strong hold.
Its great that you and your husband even are on the same page about CARING AS A COUPLE about health & fitness. WHAT A BLESSING! And you know...built into life are THOSE DAYS we are "off the wagon" and we have our little fall outs...but THANK GOODNESS for being on THE SAME WINNING TEAM! You get back in the saddle and you CONTINUE THIS WONDERFUL JOURNEY...TOGETHER!
Doesn't get any better THAN THAT! emoticon
I am cheering YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ON!
Spark on! emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/20/2011 9:28:43 AM

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Walking update a day early - week 2

Monday, September 19, 2011

Yeah, it's a day early, but meh, does it matter?

Ooopsie, I didn't weigh myself today...I think it is 132 - got the TOM...is that TMI? lol

But I DID try on the dress again...looser around the hips and after contorting like a contortionist in a side-show...I got the zipper zipped up again. That zipper really is a pain!

It's fun playing dressup like this every week! So much so that I tried on some dresses that I have in contention for my 20th reunion after Thanksgiving. A few I have worn before, so I already know what to look for in fitting better....and thank heavens they all fit -- and they fit better too!!! I don't know why I have this fear of things not fitting....must be the inner-fat-chick rearing her ugly head again....but she shut up pretty darned fast today! Let me tell you that!

I really don't know which dress I am going to use....or maybe I'll just go out and get a new one! All are very nice....a basic black sheath dress, an off the shoulder kimono-inspired sheath-type dress (that one needs a hem and this one I am not very confident in...yet), and a snug pencil skirt dress with a blousy A-symmetrical satin houndstooth top attached (that one needs a new belt).....decisions, decisions, decisions! So far, the simple black sheath is #1 on the list....my legs are smokin' and it is just classy looking.

Anyway, back to the walking update!

I really have been stressed lately - and under the weather as well. I did NOT get all of the days of walking in like I wanted for a few reasons (here you go - confession time): I had to work and then go to various scout recruiting functions at the elementary schools...then there was work and a Knights of Columbus doowop dinner dance (I danced, so there was some cardio) and then there was the scout car wash on Sunday where, you guessed it - I washed cars for 2 hours! So it's not like I didn't get exercise in! LoL Just not what I planned to do!

Anyway - I felt pretty good today after finally getting a really good night's sleep - I didn't feel good enough to go walking outside any great distance, but rather I did a LS video and it felt really good to get back to it!! After doing a large variety of exercised the last few days, I could totally feel which muscles needed some attention, and which ones could have used more rest!

On a non-scale sort-of victory...I had a few people at work ask me if I was doing something different....so I answered honestly and said I was doing Leslie Sansone and trying to walk outside more...yadda yadda yadda. So in turn, I asked them what they thought changed? Well, one sticks out in my head - she said I looked really toned! Ha! Imagine that! So I asked where did she see that? (Location on the planet, not my body) She said she saw me walking the other day and she noticed how toned I was....(flashback in my head going on: when and what was I wearing?? only 2 times walking and one was without sleeves - so there ya go!) Giving credit to LS on this one!!! I really haven't done any serious armwork until now with these videos! Too funny!!!! So see....they do work arms as well as the heart and legs!

Doing the arms with the video today was different as well....Felt more powerful in general, more in control of my whole body movements. Hmmm....empowered?? Yup, a little bit.

Now off I go to the rest of the day..."Supermom" is my hat today, lots to do to get things righted after a cookoo weekend.....later I get to put on "Scout leader" hat and do another school visit & then tomorrow I have to get ready for a Friday cub-scout family camping trip....praying for no rain!!!

  
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DWEXCEL 9/20/2011 7:47AM

    Love it! You crack me up. Can't wait to see pictures of you in the dress. and I know you'll knock 'em dead at the reunion! I've been a little bit of a slacker these days, but will be pulling in on the reins here!

Have a great week!

Luv ya1
Donna

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NIKKIG125 9/19/2011 10:40PM

    You must be so proud of yourself!! I would love to be called "toned" someday!

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OAKBORN 9/19/2011 3:12PM

    I liked this blog, well of course I did!

Sounds like a fun but busy weekend! Yay you! You are the toned smokin' mama! emoticon

Keep up the walking and don't forget to take off the SuperMom cape from time and time and rest! emoticon

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FIORENZA 9/19/2011 2:58PM

    Never give up! Even slowly you'll reach you goal!

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my walking update - 1 week

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

So Leslie and I have been meeting pretty consistently for the last week! 5 out of 7 days is a record for me! LoL and today I will be getting my workout in too...my sneakers are ON baby!

The majority of the workouts have been a brisk intermediate 2 mile workout that lasts 30 minutes....on one ambitious day, I did another 1 mile in 20 minutes video...and I was wiped!

Last week I was 135.3 and that bridesmaid dress was barely getting zipped up by myself...let's face it, it was not going up the last 2 inches and was a bit tight when and if I got it...not to mention the back spillage....thus the experiment was born!

This week...after watching my nutrition and faithfully tracking and doing Leslie's walking workout, I weighed in at 132.1. Yesterday the dress zipped up all the way without any help at all....in fact it fit pretty much the way it did when I was 130. I know, I know...oooooo 2 pounds. I get it, but as this experiment goes, that is pretty neat because I was NOT working out at the time of the wedding and I was definitely stress eating and bloated when I was 130. Just sayin'.

Now...on to week 2!

What I hope for:
- to be consistent for another week....the videos are comforting to do at this point - I know what to expect on 2 of them...and I know I sweat like the bajeezuz (more than the treadmill) so I know I am burning calories.
- to maybe see some more tone in my arms/chest/back area...if not tighten the under arm back area....the videos really do work the arms - it's what you put into it and I am giving it 100% to see a change happen...we shall see.
- to make the back of the dress fit even better. I'm not going for this dress to fall off either - just to fit bettter on a more fit body.


As a side note: It is official.....my 20th high school reunion is set for the day after Thanksgiving! I am totally going. So far 3 out of the 4 hs besties are going (fingers crossed) and I have to say, my bff Steph looks fantastic! and she is doing triathalons now! and kicking butt and taking names too!!! So proud of her!

I have a few dresses to pick from in my closet - all were like the bridesmaid dress size though...and now that I am doing this, it is just an added bonus and goal to strive for..to feel good in the dress - whichever one I wear!

Ok all!! Back to work!

  
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FULLOFFAITH 9/14/2011 11:34PM

    Ok you have me ready to give the treadmill a break and pull out my Leslie Tapes. I know they are here some where emoticon.

What a inspiration you 20th high school how cool!!! You will have a blast!!!!

Lisa

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REBECCATKD 9/13/2011 5:29PM

    Your classmates are going to be in awe of all your accomplishments (including your family!). I'm glad to hear your walking workouts are kicking your butt. I may need to look into these...

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STSCOTT11 9/13/2011 8:34AM

    emoticonSO HAPPY FOR YOUUU! emoticon
That's FANTASTIC considering your size already. It is usually much harder to get off the weight at that point.

Leslie is OUR FRIEND! emoticon
I can't wait to hear about the wedding and reunion! I am excited for you.

I went to mine...FAT. emoticonIt was difficult on that level because I was a tiny person in HS. But I wasn't alone because most of the women were around my size. My BFF was a single size and still could DANCE LIKE CRAZY. I was happy for her.

I am going to get back into Leslie when the weather gets cold...which won't be too long.
Keep up the good work. emoticon

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OAKBORN 9/13/2011 8:28AM

    Just keep it up girl! Log those miles!! I always counted my miles with Leslie!!

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eesh..do I HAVE to???

Saturday, September 10, 2011

We are having fish for dinner tonight...the frozen fillet kind that my hubby only cooks 2 ways since he discovered this fish a year ago....honestly - I absolutely HATE the frozen fish, but it is cheaper and more ready to use if we keep it frozen than if we did not...another good protein for us to eat....yay. emoticon

I feel like my kids right now. You know kids - some will turn their nose up at the most delectible of foods (according to an adult's palate) and would rather starve than eat what you lovingly cooked for an hour just for their growing bodies.

But still....this fish....ick.

Do I HAVE to eat it?

I really don't want to. emoticon

The thought of it is making me sick...just the texture of it is unappealing...and no, it is not bad fish at all....it's just frozen...and then thawed...and then tough.

Maybe I will pull one of these moves emoticon like the kids do!

Nah...that will just irritate him.

Maybe I will suggest something else...another cooking method maybe!

Hmm...tough thing, because the only other option I can think of is frying the sucker.

Now...if it were shrimp...or scallops.....oh Mmmmm emoticon let me at 'em!! That is what I'm talkin' about!!! These sea creature are such a rare occurance in my life that every time I see them on TV's food network....I drool!!!!

Seared scallops over angelhair pasta in a light wine-lemon-butter sauce garnished with parsley...there really should be a drool emoticon, but this emoticon will have to do.

Why not this drool-inducing dish? A clash of tastes is why. We don't buy stuff unless we both eat it. Yes, very economilcal. Notice I did not include the children - heaven forbid! they try anything new!!! I know...I know....exposure is important and key...but spending money on expensive seafood is not an option if it wil inevitably be thrown away because of picky eaters.

emoticon ***sigh**

More on the list of unpalatable husband foods is pesto....and raw tomatoes...and sundried tomatoes.....some of my most loved things that I forego.

But I do have some solutions - when we eat out at a nice place - I order from my "solo food love" menu....for example.....I had pesto with angel hair twice in a month!!! On vacation I had a citrus mahi-mahi sandwich that was killer! the cheescake factory has this shrimp & angel hair that used to be good....not so great the last time I had it though....hey, you can't win them all!

So now...I guess I am on the restaurant hunt for seared scallops!!

As for the fish....I guess I will just have to eat it tonight since it is defrosted....but I think I will be making a new side dish of curried lentils to go with it....I think it's time to spice things up a bit in the food department!

  
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TRUANGEL1 9/10/2011 3:43PM

    I USED TO FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT FISH PERIOD. WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT FROZEN FISH I FOUND A NEW LOVE. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS YOU CAN MAKE WITH IT, AND DIFFERENT WAYS TO COOK IT. YOU MAY HAVE TO HELP HIM TO BE CREATIVE WITH THE FROZEN FISH.


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CHAOSTHEORY635 9/10/2011 3:42PM

    you might try making a spicy mango salsa and flaking the fish apart into it--this always turns out tasty when i cook it, and the fish texture/taste blends in with the salsa and is pretty undetectable. the salsa freezes really, really well, too...so you can thaw out a little every time your husband makes fish ;)

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