Thursday, September 29, 2011
I have about 2 minutes to type this...I have to go back to work...but I just got off of the phone and the last thing I said was "Imagine that, I have a backbone!" and then I started to get teary-eyed.
Even now I am a bit while writing this.
I have finally made a decision on where I stand with scouts...and I even verbalized it to the head of the pack...I WILL NOT take over as the leader of this organization. Period.
The last few weeks have been horrible when it comes to stress about this organization. The stupid misconstrued emails. the drama over organizing things and keeping people happy, the crazy blow-ups that the cubmaster has because she is who she is and she is a stressed hot mess herself. I understand where people come from - and I also understand that sometimes...things are just not worth it.
That being said, I drew my line in the freshly poured concrete and that is where it is staying.
- if the organization folds- even as early as Decemeber, then so be it.
- a volunteer organization is just that...and should NOT make people stressed out.
- if the organization folds, then guess what? people will get over it. Oh yes, they will. A couple of "Awww, how sads" and "Awww, too bads" will be muttered, but hmmm, I think that is about it.
-if someone happens to step up, then great, I might stick around to support them under MY terms.
I spoke up today. I am standing firm in my decision, because this is MY life. I have other things that take precedence over this...and you know what? they deserve more respect than what I have been giving them, as of late.
My soul rejoiced yesterday when I made this decision. I am so happy that it is made.
In the meantime, I will continue to be supportive, but also with the focus that OTHERS should step up and NOT JUST ME. If someone wants to do something for this organization, then guess what - well, just do it, because this woman is not crossing that line that she just drew....with a big giant smiley face right next to it!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Ahhh....I have been blogging a bit haven't I.
Anyway, this isn't about stress (which has decreased) or venting about a particular group (that I am setting up distinct boundaries with).....this is about me & Leslie and walking....and a silly dress that I try on every week!
So the weight today was 131.2 - not bad.
The dress I tried on after I exercised for an hour - a little bit of circulation puff going on for sure, but over all, as soon as I adjust the 'girls' in their pushup bra that I wore with the dress in the first place....the thing zipped up once again, maybe even easier than last week....less contorting for some reason.
Trying to figure out if there was any difference from last week. Hmmmm....maybe the back spilllage (which we all have) was lessened a bit? The arm pit area was definitely a bit better. so there ya go.
It was a rough week for exercising and walking - I will not lie. There was one day that I was just NOT in the mood to do ANYTHING. But on a good note, I still got 3 days in...which is very consistent for me - even when I am not trying to be consistent. Does that make sense?
I am happy about this week because I am now officially on the precipace of "blowing my usual streak of 3 weeks and then life getting in the way" - as per my lovely cyclical exerise past. So, as you can see, for me, THIS upcoming week is a big week to get though.
One thing Leslie has taught me is that it is just important to keep moving...and since I have taken up walking outside (yeah baby....I even did it again today! The confidence of being alone on the road is building!) I am really looking forward to going camping and boogying around the campsite with my headphones on for a half an hour a day at least! I did Leslie today as well....a new video that included toning - how exciting!!!!! LoL
So that is about it......this week is about keeping up the consistency. I would like to see my walks become a habit that I "need" instead of "want". Again, does that make sense? LoL
OK - I am off and running....lots to do today!
Be well everyone!!!
Friday, September 23, 2011
So the outcome of all my stress this week was that I made a final decision that canceled a camping trip for our cub scout pack that I was basically in charge of....I think God intervened with a hail-mary pass because inclement weather has made me decide to cancel it officially.
Lots of lessons learned on this one:
#1 - if you SAY there is a minimum needed to go...then MEAN it. If I had just stayed firm on that one point, I would have saved myself a TON of aggrevation and stress. BUT I did not say NO because I am too nice....and then it all went downhill from there. Needless to say, some rules for camping are now going to be set in stone if I am to be in charge of this section of the program.
#2 - Redundancy of trained leaders is needed...not wanted...NEEDED. Why? because with only me & my husband as trained leaders for an event such as this, there is a TON of unnecessary stress put onto our shoulders because if one of us cannot go on the campout - then the whole campout has to be canceled. I started praying that I didn't get the flu a week ago...that is ridiculous to even think, but I thought it. If there were 2 more trained parents in separate families, then this would not even be a concern....AND it would help out with other decisions as well.
#3 - If, for any reason, a family/scout does NOT get the requirements done in time and the opportunity is/has been offered....it is THEIR responsibility - not mine - to fulfill them or figure out how to fulfill them.
#4 - If parents cannot get it in their heads after X amount of YEARS in this group that email is the most effective communication device that is used by its VOLUNTEER leaders to use...and if they do not check it regularly and MISS deadline because of it....IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM! Grow up people...use your computer, buy a new computer for $400 if you have to - it's an investment for chrissakes, use your crackberry ad nauseum...I do not care....but if I say 'reply' in an email, I mean it. If I say that this deadline is firm - I mean it. I will NOT hunt you down for anything....EVER. End . of. story.
Those were the major lessons learned from this experience...this might end up in an email to the pack, I do not know. I do know for sure that these points will be brought up in the next committee meeting....and written down on paper for the group to see. A post-camping review of the whole experience so to speak....hey, BSA wants that kind of thing done anyway...from now on, I am going by that book.
So that being said, and vented, i am happy to say that I am sitting here in my workout clothes and am going to go on the treadmill for a leisurely stoll today while listening to some new tunes I downloaded yesterday.
Next week is my own family's camping trip in our popup that has been sitting for months unused and lonely...in fact we are going with some friends we made while in scouts - they just bought their own camper! With all the stress of this new school year starting and this whole snafu I descibed above, a change of scenery will be very welcome! Now THIS is a campout I cannot wait to go on!!!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
everyone's got them
They tend to come about during the most inopportune times too: when you are overtired, overstressed, overworked.......just done over like a big hot mess!
I'm not just talking about me in particular this time around....I've noticed hubby working like a dog and his old habit of snacking late at night while working come back a few times, here and there, on occassion. First, I noticed the cake box gone from the top of the fridge....he "confessed" that he had a bad night, and I just told him I noticed...and he immediately knew that he had to reign in the demon before it got out of control. Now add last night's Monday Night Football guys gathering with the cheese dip, wings and donuts....and the poor guy never stood a chance to get back in the saddle like he wanted to! He will though....all it takes is a few days of calm and he is right back into the swingof things - - well, that is what MY plan for him is....and because we share a brain, I know that it is his plan too.
My personal demons have reared their ugly head as well...except instead of eating - I am yelling and just a big ol' beeeotch to everyone I love (I don't think PMS helped the situation either - this month was a bad month in that respect). Me & hubby, who rarely argue or fight, had a great yell-fest that wound up being a good stress reliever for both of us....funny how that happened. But still....who likes yelling???? I sure as heck don't want to be like this all the time, so a conscious effort is being put forth on my part to make a decision and live by those decisions - whether or not people like them or not.....if they do not like them, well, then they can step up to the plate themselves and take on the role that I had chosen to take on. Note the word "chosen".....I did not say "thrust upon" even though it really is the way it is...when noone steps up, I fill in like a good little girl so that everyone is happy. Ha - you might be wondering what it is I am venting about.....what do you think? my one volunteer organization: Cub Scouts, of course! Making a conscious effort to just make a decision and live with any 'haters' that come with it is somewhat liberating. If they don't like it - then they can take over the next campout.
Anyway....those are the gremlins that are bouncing around our house lately.....I wish they would just leave. The good news is that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel - either Thursday...or Sunday morning....one is the rain-decision to go camping on Thurs...the other is the day we come home on Sun if we DO go camping in a slight drizzle.
This too shall pass.....in the meantime, I am going to do my best to make the best of an annoying situation.
Now - onward and upward....going to get my walk in and then tackle the next thing on my list: to make a list of camping stuff!! What's the saying? "A boy scout is always prepared!"
Monday, September 19, 2011
Yeah, it's a day early, but meh, does it matter?
Ooopsie, I didn't weigh myself today...I think it is 132 - got the TOM...is that TMI? lol
But I DID try on the dress again...looser around the hips and after contorting like a contortionist in a side-show...I got the zipper zipped up again. That zipper really is a pain!
It's fun playing dressup like this every week! So much so that I tried on some dresses that I have in contention for my 20th reunion after Thanksgiving. A few I have worn before, so I already know what to look for in fitting better....and thank heavens they all fit -- and they fit better too!!! I don't know why I have this fear of things not fitting....must be the inner-fat-chick rearing her ugly head again....but she shut up pretty darned fast today! Let me tell you that!
I really don't know which dress I am going to use....or maybe I'll just go out and get a new one! All are very nice....a basic black sheath dress, an off the shoulder kimono-inspired sheath-type dress (that one needs a hem and this one I am not very confident in...yet), and a snug pencil skirt dress with a blousy A-symmetrical satin houndstooth top attached (that one needs a new belt).....decisions, decisions, decisions! So far, the simple black sheath is #1 on the list....my legs are smokin' and it is just classy looking.
Anyway, back to the walking update!
I really have been stressed lately - and under the weather as well. I did NOT get all of the days of walking in like I wanted for a few reasons (here you go - confession time): I had to work and then go to various scout recruiting functions at the elementary schools...then there was work and a Knights of Columbus doowop dinner dance (I danced, so there was some cardio) and then there was the scout car wash on Sunday where, you guessed it - I washed cars for 2 hours! So it's not like I didn't get exercise in! LoL Just not what I planned to do!
Anyway - I felt pretty good today after finally getting a really good night's sleep - I didn't feel good enough to go walking outside any great distance, but rather I did a LS video and it felt really good to get back to it!! After doing a large variety of exercised the last few days, I could totally feel which muscles needed some attention, and which ones could have used more rest!
On a non-scale sort-of victory...I had a few people at work ask me if I was doing something different....so I answered honestly and said I was doing Leslie Sansone and trying to walk outside more...yadda yadda yadda. So in turn, I asked them what they thought changed? Well, one sticks out in my head - she said I looked really toned! Ha! Imagine that! So I asked where did she see that? (Location on the planet, not my body) She said she saw me walking the other day and she noticed how toned I was....(flashback in my head going on: when and what was I wearing?? only 2 times walking and one was without sleeves - so there ya go!) Giving credit to LS on this one!!! I really haven't done any serious armwork until now with these videos! Too funny!!!! So see....they do work arms as well as the heart and legs!
Doing the arms with the video today was different as well....Felt more powerful in general, more in control of my whole body movements. Hmmm....empowered?? Yup, a little bit.
Now off I go to the rest of the day..."Supermom" is my hat today, lots to do to get things righted after a cookoo weekend.....later I get to put on "Scout leader" hat and do another school visit & then tomorrow I have to get ready for a Friday cub-scout family camping trip....praying for no rain!!!
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