Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Confession time: I have a tendency to start things and never finish them.
Well, except for this weightloss/maintenance thing. I finally found something I am good at after all these years! LoL
But in general, I am not very good at starting what I finish. I have GREAT intentions, I do research, I go go go until I burn out....and then....I stop dead in my tracks.
This is in regard to my schooling - I started 2 online courses in March 2010 in Microbiology and Organic Chem and was so burnt by June, I took 2 months off, that went into 6 months....that is now over a year and a half over due in it's completion.
Do I even give myself credit for finishing and getting an A in another course last Sept on Anatomy & Physiology?...no, not right now...I am too upset with myself for delaying these other 2 courses.
Today I ripped off the bandaid and logged into My Blackboard that holds my courses. On one was an email from August saying that time was running out. On this course, all I have to do is cram and take the final for pete's sake!!!!!! As you can imagine, I sent off a fast email right back begging for more time....I hope I get a positive response back. In the meantime, I guess I will dust off the textbook and get to reading & relearning right? eeesh. right.
I am SO mad at myself for putting this off. It seems that I can only focus on one big thing at a time....and when the other course with it's lovely scheduled tests came along, that was a beautiful thing for me to do (I like being told what to do sometimes, it requires less effort to think I guess).....and then I took another break after that ended and scouts came along and I was once again distracted.
I have only myself to blame if I just threw away a few thousand dollars and hundreds of study hours all due to my scatterbrain.
Another confession: I am scared to take the final exams. Imagine yourself teaching yourself organic chemistry??? and microbiology??? Scary stuff even within a classroom setting at the age of 18 or 20 or 24! and at 37/38 years of age to boot...am I nuts? I'm scared that I have lost it. The A from the other class mean bupkiss when faced with these 2 subjects.
See how my excuses come out of the woodwork??? I'm great at justifying my weaknesses aren't I.
I need to finish what I started this time around. 2 years ago, I have never wanted anything so much as a career in nutrition! The passion is still there, but my fire has dimmed. I need a career that will take me into my 60s for pete's sake! I need to help people because darn it, I am really good at it. You know the commercial from way back when, when a job interviewer asks the applicant's strong points and every answer was "I'm a people person." over and over again....well, that is me. I'm a people person, I need to be around people. But I need to be proficient in another profession....and that means to go back to school....and finish.
Well, the first step towards finishing these 2 courses has been made.
Now to calm my nerves, gather my scatterbrain, and make a daily study plan so that I can balance everything and not burn out. It can be done....others I know have done it, why not me??
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
So this week's update is a weird one....another camping weekend was upon us - and a BEAUTIFUL one at that!!! OMG what a great weekend!
So as some of you may know - camping = movement....LOTS of movement for me this time around, for I was with 4 little boys on the beach a lot of the time and walking them constantly to the bathroom from our camper to the loo at all hours of the day...up a flight of stairs no less!
We went looking for shells and I think I stood in many a yoga pose, contracting my middle, for at least a full hour during the length of the weekend....and then walking on the sand, making sand castles, etc...etc....and then bike riding....well, you can only imagine the soreness I felt the day we got home!!! Oh, my inner thighs!!! Oh, my shoulders! I forgot about those muscles!
The flies were horrendous by Sunday (probably due to the higher temps), so after dinner, we decided to quickly pack things up and head home...and we rolled out just as the sun was setting. This decision was a blessing...yesterday was a true day of rest (aside from doing 10 loads of laundry) and I actually read a real book! Nothing like a good read to calm one's brain. I missed reading for pleasure.
Anyway - my camping pants were ridiculous - old 6's that kept needing to be pulled up...and I finally have decided to retire my most favorite pair. They will stay in the camping bag one more week, but after that, they are hitting 'the pile'. This means that I need to go shopping for new favorite jeans. Eesh, not my favorite thing to do, but a necessary thing because I live in my jeans!
But I digress.....
Back to Leslie - I have not turned the tube on to visit her this past week, but my activity level was ok...once again. I do miss her, so I think a visit is in order. Right now, as I am typing this, I am wearing my workout gear and I KNOW I should get moving, but I'm just not in the mood. So that being said, on the headphones will go and I will take a quick walk around the block...no excuse not to....maybe I need to get out of my house and out of my own way! LoL
As for my dress....I will try it on tomorrow.....post camping bloat it still in the process of going down - ah, knowing one's body cycles is truly a blessing....after a while, it's clockwork. For example: It takes 2 to 3 days for camping bloat to go down.
OK - time to pull of this bandaid and get moving!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
I almost forgot to do this today!!!!
130.9 on scale - feeling uber-thin the last 2 days...post-camping de-bloating is a good thing!!!LoL
Just tried on dress ( a true vision - with pulled down jeans and sneakers on underneath - what a look!) - no contorting once again to zipper it, went up slightly better than last time (lots of pleating makes for a tough zip - I don't care who you are! LoL)
As for walking with Leslie Sansone....um, not so much this week because we went camping on Wednesday (tried to at least - the rain was terrible that night). Previous blogs also shows a cathartic day of backboniness and a reduced level of stress. Glad to say that THAT level of stress is still low (nice huh?) and even though there are a ton of scouty things involving meetings of the future of certain people..I am happy to say I am maintaining my backbone and stress level nicely. I have ideas for the pack....whether or not they are implemented is up to a larger group...we shall see.
Anyway, back to Leslie....so not realy Leslie stuff going on - but camping yields constant moving and walking and bike riding! SO YAY!!!! As a family, we walked a mile & a half on a hike and we also BIKED over 2 and a half miles! THAT is a victory all OVER the place according to me! The kids were constantly on their bikes riding and since we were far from the bathrooms, there were numerous times to take walks back & forth when the bikes were not the mode of transportation to get there quickly.
Not only was I moving constantly...my family was too!!!!!!! Sweet huh?
As for eating....so help me.
Not a great eating weekend.
- Vegetables? What are they???
- Meat? Oh I got to eat enough of that to last a long while! Oh the gassiness that came about!!!! between my hubby & I...eeesh. the tears right there....use your imagination! Goes to show you what an overabundance of something will to do a person!
- Got Goodies? donuts, and bagels, and wine - oh my!!!! chips, and pie, and more - oh my!!
Yeah - it was one of those weekends.....hey - they happen.
Honestly, I can look back over YEARS now and see the same thing happen each year. Cyclical eating events show that they are just a drop in the bucket...the key to losing and keeping it off is getting right back on track when you get back to your normal reality...whatever that is! LOL
So I am back on track...water, exercise, freggies (oh how I missed them!).....at least for a few days until our next camping trip this weekend! LoL This weekend is tradition at this point - we have been going there for 4 years straight - on the beach, apple picking, pie baking on a camp oven, listening to the football game on the radio, riding bikes, walks....all good things that we are looking forward to as a family.
So Leslie - you might be visited only once or twice this week....sorry about that. But I am moving it in other ways! Have no fear of that!!! and I GOT OVER THE HUMP!!! I can honestly say that my activity is AOK to say that I have gotten over the 4 week hump!!! Yaaaay!!!
Now...time to get this day started!!!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
I have about 2 minutes to type this...I have to go back to work...but I just got off of the phone and the last thing I said was "Imagine that, I have a backbone!" and then I started to get teary-eyed.
Even now I am a bit while writing this.
I have finally made a decision on where I stand with scouts...and I even verbalized it to the head of the pack...I WILL NOT take over as the leader of this organization. Period.
The last few weeks have been horrible when it comes to stress about this organization. The stupid misconstrued emails. the drama over organizing things and keeping people happy, the crazy blow-ups that the cubmaster has because she is who she is and she is a stressed hot mess herself. I understand where people come from - and I also understand that sometimes...things are just not worth it.
That being said, I drew my line in the freshly poured concrete and that is where it is staying.
- if the organization folds- even as early as Decemeber, then so be it.
- a volunteer organization is just that...and should NOT make people stressed out.
- if the organization folds, then guess what? people will get over it. Oh yes, they will. A couple of "Awww, how sads" and "Awww, too bads" will be muttered, but hmmm, I think that is about it.
-if someone happens to step up, then great, I might stick around to support them under MY terms.
I spoke up today. I am standing firm in my decision, because this is MY life. I have other things that take precedence over this...and you know what? they deserve more respect than what I have been giving them, as of late.
My soul rejoiced yesterday when I made this decision. I am so happy that it is made.
In the meantime, I will continue to be supportive, but also with the focus that OTHERS should step up and NOT JUST ME. If someone wants to do something for this organization, then guess what - well, just do it, because this woman is not crossing that line that she just drew....with a big giant smiley face right next to it!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Ahhh....I have been blogging a bit haven't I.
Anyway, this isn't about stress (which has decreased) or venting about a particular group (that I am setting up distinct boundaries with).....this is about me & Leslie and walking....and a silly dress that I try on every week!
So the weight today was 131.2 - not bad.
The dress I tried on after I exercised for an hour - a little bit of circulation puff going on for sure, but over all, as soon as I adjust the 'girls' in their pushup bra that I wore with the dress in the first place....the thing zipped up once again, maybe even easier than last week....less contorting for some reason.
Trying to figure out if there was any difference from last week. Hmmmm....maybe the back spilllage (which we all have) was lessened a bit? The arm pit area was definitely a bit better. so there ya go.
It was a rough week for exercising and walking - I will not lie. There was one day that I was just NOT in the mood to do ANYTHING. But on a good note, I still got 3 days in...which is very consistent for me - even when I am not trying to be consistent. Does that make sense?
I am happy about this week because I am now officially on the precipace of "blowing my usual streak of 3 weeks and then life getting in the way" - as per my lovely cyclical exerise past. So, as you can see, for me, THIS upcoming week is a big week to get though.
One thing Leslie has taught me is that it is just important to keep moving...and since I have taken up walking outside (yeah baby....I even did it again today! The confidence of being alone on the road is building!) I am really looking forward to going camping and boogying around the campsite with my headphones on for a half an hour a day at least! I did Leslie today as well....a new video that included toning - how exciting!!!!! LoL
So that is about it......this week is about keeping up the consistency. I would like to see my walks become a habit that I "need" instead of "want". Again, does that make sense? LoL
OK - I am off and running....lots to do today!
Be well everyone!!!
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