Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Picture it...a large suburban filled to the hilt with a car carrier on top and 7 out of the 8 seats filled up and at 4:00am, into the dark....we roll.
Getting off of Long Island is a bit of an adventure in and of itself. Depending on the direction (north or south) dictates which route you will take you off the island....and that inevitable will involve a large (or small and narrow) congested highway and a bridge or two. Thus the reason why we usually leave even before the roosters wake up. Doing so can shave off HOURS on a journey, because if you get stuck in one of the 5 boroughs of NYC, well, you are stuck for the duration...there is no escape.
We got rolling and in 3 hours, we are through New Jersey and into Delaware and ready to pick up our next charge and the last occupant that will make us a completely full vehicle....our nephew.
I have 6th sense with certain things...I KNEW that the communication between my husband and our ex-brother-in-law was flawed. The info given to me via an email was not complete...and so I questioned it....and we pull off into the Delaware Welcome rest stop to call and confirm the drop-off location. And as soon as I notice my husband pump the breaks on the truck, I KNEW we blew a brake line.
Now, the brake lines were just redone less than a year ago, when, on a local camping trip, the coupling blew and we almost crashed into a pulled over cop car (I'm telling you, I have some seriously ridiculously unbelievable road trip stories) - it's a 2001 truck, we should have seen that one coming....but NOT this one. Same coupling leaking on a new line and coupling junction. Eesh.
Now....unbeknownst to me...I am PMS-ing WILDLY and there is a full-moon - I am usually good at knowing all this info, but the craziness of the last 2 weeks really threw me off my game. So, as you can imagine, I was just ready bag the whole darn thing and go home. It was the cherry on top of the uber-crappy Sundae that was the last 2 weeks.
But no....thanks to my mother-in-law's new iPhone and my father-in-laws AAA card, and me throwing up my hands to the whole situation and leaving to feed the kids breakfast in the rest stop....we eventually get a tow and a ride to a garage.
The ride to garage was interesting. Picture 7 people cramming into a flat-bed tow truck. There is the driver and my FIL in the front seats. In the back, on a bench seat that even includes a box blocking a good quarter of the bench....are me, my MIL, and my husband...each with a child on our laps....we were WEDGED in....literally. We were joking that #1 - it was probably VERY illegal that we did that and #2 - it's a good thing that me and hubby are practically half of what we were size-wise 2 years ago! or else that ride never would have happened!! But at least we were together...right?
5 hours later....one brake-line coupling looked at, replaced, oh, AND brake-pad, rotors, and calipers replaced....and about $800 put onto our credit card.....we are finally on our way again.
Moving right along right? Nope.
Gotta go back to the Welcome Center and pick up the nephew...oh, and eat lunch.
OK....off we go!
About a hour later.....we hit traffic in Washington D.C. Painful to say the least....it is now 2pm...and we crawl....and crawl.....and crawl. We even try to go onto a local route....which is dead stop....and we crawl some more....but with lights!!
Finally....we get back on to the highway and it starts to move and we get to Fredericksburg, VA and at 6pm, we get enough distance on the highway to say it's time to stop for dinner at Applebees.
7PM - back on the road.....clear sailing. FINALLY.
But hubby is now getting tired....and so am I. My FIL keeps asking if he wants him to drive. Nope - sorry man. No way in heck....you can barely move with arthritis, and thusly, we will not be letting you drive a truck load of people....not on our watch. But you can pay for gas which he inststed on doing during the whole trip....that and food. Nice huh? Very nice.
Long story short...and my irritation level on the whole day at a 12 out of a scale of 1 to 10....we finally arrive in Raleigh, NC........at 10:30pm. There is no dropping my nephew off at his house...there is nothing but getting us in our rooms and the kids (and us) to bed. Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it.....right???
What a first day....it's got to get better. But for me....I am STILL on PMS mode. BIG time. ANYthing and ANYone is pissing me off and all I can do, is silently roll my eyes behind my sunglasses and keep my mouth shut.
I'll skip further details about people....but let's just say this....sometimes there can be too much family togetherness, even when one is visiting family. That goes for my own kids and husband as well. Hubby and I got a night to ourselves in the hotel though, when my SIL had the kids sleep over on Friday night....best night of the week for me!
And then...I got "my little friend"....joy.
NO WONDER!!! With the moon STARING at me the last 2 days and my mood swings...of COURSE! it all makes sense now. And hubby and I can laugh at it now as we stand here in the living room folding the trip laundry.
That being said....and knowing that bit of knowledge on Saturday.....we turned around and had a nice visit. Lots of parks, a walk here or there. A dinner out with the whole gang. People catching naps left and right...I read instead of napped....and then....it was time to go. (I have to abbreviate here....OMG there are more stories of "as only we can experience" thrown in, but that...would be a novel! LoL
Yesterday...we left at 5:15 from NC and got on the road. I wanted to leave at 4am....the in-laws wanted to leave at 7am (because there is a free continental breakfast - gotta get the most out of our trip money you know...meh, I do NOT care of such things - GET me HOME!!! LoL) ...the 5:30am departure time was the compromise.
Thank heavens we left when we did because WE CRUISED!!!!
Well......until we hit the NYC borough of Staten Island. Were we see smoke....and some traffic...and a sign saying that the highway was closed due to a brush fire.
A BRUSH FIRE!!! Nature rears it's ugly head....teases us to no end!!! We all start laughing because it was too good to be true! (refer back to the "once you get stuck in NYC traffic you are screwed" section of this blog please)
As luck would have it...it turns out that we are at the VERY BEGINNING of the fire and the road, although slow going, is still open for us to get through - very slowly...in the dark of smoke....with hazards on....at 5 miles per hour....and we make it through to see the traffic coming the other way...at a dead stop.
We are now cruising toward Long Island...over the Verranzano Bridge, onto the Belt Parkway...moving...and passing the opposite direction traffic at a dead stop over the bridge and for MILES along the Parkway. They are stuck. and when I mean stuck....I'm talking for HOURS. No escape. Nada. Nothing. You just grim and bear it...and pray you don't have to use the bathroom. I felt bad....we were in traffic like that in D.C. I think here is worse.
Long story short....it's good to be home. It was nice getting a change of pace, but it's good to be home.
The house is a complete disaster. I have TONs of work to do...once again. Small detail stuff too....my faaaaavorite (please note the sarcasm). Looking at my calendar is giving me the hives! ROFL But it's all good. It's mine. All mine. And other people out there have it worse - I know that, so I will take my own chaos with a smile and a cup of coffee and a large, detoxing bottle of water.
OH - and before I forget....Lent is over...and I can drink wine once again. I had some wine too....and it was even paired with a great lamb osso buco my brother in law made - with truffle oil! (Fancy fancy!! LoL) And you knwo what???? I didn't over due it...I enjoyed it. I didn't NEED it, like I had thought I did. I drank more water than anything. Funny what you get used to NOT having.
Friday, March 23, 2012
I'm feeling compelled to write about this because I feel like it is always brushed aside...in people's lives and even here on Spark.
People focus on exercise as the be all and end all of losing weight....and the guilt that accompanies one's MISSING exercise can be mentally crippling and disheartening and since they aren't working out - well then, they think they WON't lose the weight.
Exercise IS important.
Moving your body IS important.
BUT it is ALSO a variable....which means, depending on your life, your health, your mindset, your situation in life, your family (another variable)....this can go up and down in intensity or become non-existent at all!
In order to lose weight - their must be a calorie deficit going on. ..which makes ???WHAT???? the constant factor now??? Every day....until the day you die??
Think about it. If you eat better, if you TRACK your nutrition to actually SEE, on paper or on computer screen, what you are consuming - even if you are in a somewhat sedentary ....you will most likely lose weight.
Nutrition is your constant, every day thing. You HAVE to eat to survive.
Make the conscious choice to change your eating habits today if you are not.
Make the conscious choice to actually TRY the Spark People Nutrition Tracker and GIVE IT A CHANCE...even though you think it takes too much time to do (guess what? in time, practice makes perfect and lessens the amount of time the more you do it.)
I'm begging you. Listen to me...
I have tracked for 4 years straight....I do NOT exercise every single day....I have lulls with exercise but I have educated myself on nutrition...it makes a world of difference.
Nutrition = constant
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
There is no other word.
Just came back from getting my taxes done...seeing people I see every year...for the last 10 years. Yup - they knew me as heavy Annie, pregnant Annie several times, then heavy Annie once again.
One of them happens to be the sister of my best friend from junior high...I haven't talked to the past bf since I left for another high school, but I send my warm regards to her every year anyway. Another is a long time local that I have known for years, another local mom - I like her, she's cool. Another is my tax guy. I am ANGRY at 2 of the three I saw today.
and to give you a hint, I'm not angry at the local mom I like.
The old bf sister made a comment....an observation put into words more like it. "You look so skinny! you are wasting away!"
"Nope," I say, "Same as last year. Same weight, same shirt. Maybe it's the makeup. Healthy as a horse"
"Really? Your face looks thinner" says the woman, quite the stick herself. In fact, her sister was quite the stick as well, and from fb pics I get to see, is still the same, even after 4 kids.
I DEFEND myself again, but chuckle and smile and change the subject to her own family.
On to the next encounter - my accountant.
"Hey lady, you look like you lost weight!" he says.
(I'm already on the defensive now) "Nope, same as last year...maybe it's the loose top and these new skinny jeans and these new flats I'm wearing." (the pants which, btw, are a size 8, just so you Sparkers all know that I am NOT wasting away into nothingness)
"Aww, I don't know about that honey."
whatever that is supposed to mean. Again, I get to business and change the subject.
The mom I like, we've known each other a long time, are friends on fb...she just says I look good...sheeesh, she sees me in pics all the time, she would know if I were "WASTING AWAY."
WHICH brings me to another pet peeve about a comment that I had received a while back. I wrote it in my planner, because I'm not the type to come on here and complain about being 132 pounds at 5 foot 2 inches tall. (Truly the vision of wasting away, don't you think???) but this was more to the fact about the wording and phrasing of another long time aquantaince in my community. Here is the quote that has burned in my brain:
"You are STILL thin! I'm so glad."
STILL. That one word made me grit my teeth, say a very nice "yes, it's hard work, but I'm determined" and say goodbye and walk away SEETHING - even though I am fully aware that it was meant to be nice....oh and I am SO glad you are glad!! Eeesh.
STILL - think about it. "STILL"
"STILL" implies that you probably thought at some point that I would fail and gain my weight back. (Don't worry honey, I will STILL being using Spark and doing what I'm doing a year from now.)
"You are so thin" means that me being thinner has upset your version of me in your head. (You think you have it bad. Trust me....even I have a hard time wrapping my head around it....it depends on the day, sweetie.)
Normally - overweight people want that recognition of being thinner really really bad....especially when you are trying and trying very hard to lose the weight. I get it. I lived it. It's this aftermath that can get a little weird.....years later, on maintenance, when you are STILL trying to wrap your head around JUST STAYING this way....to not obsess, to not over think...to try and live "like a normal person"...that comments such as this tend to tick you off.
And don't tell me that it wouldn't.
It gives all the hard work you have done a more NEGATIVE spin.
It takes all the fitness, the good nutrition, the time, the effort....it just takes all that and minimizes it into something much less proud....not humbling, more (oh I can't even figure out the word!)...more debasing....degrading...whatever...
What is it that makes people comment so "negatively" - especially people (not your family) that you rarely see?
I have had comments from people over the last year, sure...all put in a nice way: "I'm so happy that you are maintaining the way you are...it's wonderful." or "Looking good kiddo, working hard I bet." or I will even take "Hey skinny!" I take them graciously, I say thank you, I even blush because that is what I do....and there is no need to be defensive when a comment is said in a certain way. I get it.
but sometimes.....oooo, it really fries my fritter.
Did you know that 9 times out of 10 - it's my HUSBAND who gets the compliments, not me.
Did you know that 85% of time - I see myself as waaay heavier than 132 and that battle is something that I have accepted and that I know for a fact that if one doesn't change ones self image, it can lead to disaster and another eating disorder?
Did you know that IF I WANTED to - I could drop another 10 pounds in the blink of an eye? How?? Because I know how to with nutrition and exercise. Am I going to?????? No way in hell. You read that right. Some people would KILL to be 122...nope...not me.
But WHY NOT? you may ask. Because for me: I don't want to. Again, I'm smart...I know things ("Godfather" Fredo reference right there - LoL). Anatomy and physiology of the body was the best class I ever took. I want to be able to maintain and LIVE a life that does not mean counting every calorie of every single day of my life. If I were 122 - that would be my life. I want to NOT exercise every single day to maintain this weight. I want to be active and NOT be a slave to the treadmill or the gym. Fit but not fried.
This is what I want when I am 40.....45....50...55.....and yes, 60 years old.
Next year....I will be wearing this very same outfit to get my taxes done.
Monday, March 12, 2012
So here I am....and this time, I really think that I can contribute to this new 5% Spring challenge...in mileage, that is. The winter one was HAAAARD! My basement was cold...sure, I walked outside a lot more, but nothing like the spring! Ahhhh Spring!!!
So, everyone in the challenge is supposed to post what they are going to do for the challenge...and why, I guess (confession here: I am NOT the best at challenges...maybe it's because of this semi-lone wolf/hermit thing I got going on at times)
So here is the plan - get ready.....it's SUPER original.
Does this look familiar???????
I'll give you a hint: it should.
I'll give you another hint: it's taken from the Sparkdiet....step 2 to be exact.
OK , OK....that wasn't really a hint, but it's what I do when I want to refocus and get back on track. If I could have a dollar for every time I used the above to get back on track....well, I'd be swimming in some serious dough after being on here for 4 years!
I will admit, I have been a tad "naughty" in my life lately - but at least I haven't had wine...or bacon (thank you Lent)...but I have had more baked treats than ever before....Nope, another lie here....My first Spark Christmas was pretty hairy - lots of baked goods and chocolate while trying to feel out Maintenanceville. Maybe I just FEEL like I've been naughty right now for no reason....nothing like the ease of beating oneself up, right???
So back to the 5% challenge "goals" for myself:
Bike to work more often than not.
Get out and walk a bit more too....outside...in the air....especially on the days I am off.
My stability ball.....totally needs to be dusted off, plopped in front of the TV and sat on during American Idol....maybe even some crunches will get done!
Go to bed earlier!!!! I've been staying up horribly late the last 2 to 3 months....why??? I hate my bedding. Yup, silly as that. I need a new comforter or something...and I need to change the position of my bed too....yeah, yeah, yeah - sounds silly, but I am a little silly sometimes when it comes to the position of my bed in a room. It's time for a change.
Get out into the garden and WEED when I think of it...especially when the kids are playing ball!! Maybe I will make them have to bug me to do it...then it will really get done!
OK....that's enough. I don't expect perfection with these "goals". Sorry that goals keeps getting quotes around it. I am not a big fan of the word "goals" just like I hate the word "diet" . Sometimes people overemphasize "goals" and then get all bummed and down when they don't reach them. I think I prefer "Generalized achievements that are symbiotic with my lifestyle" (my own new phrase that I just made up btw) is more to my taste....because really....my lifestyle changes...day to day sometimes. It's better to learn to roll with the punches and do our best to live a healthy & active life. No? Goals are very important to have, but they have to be realistic too....just sayin'.
Ahh...now for some coffee and a walk around outside to break up for the mid-day sleepiness that comes around about now.
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