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Me & My low expectations

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

I laugh sometimes at my new found "low expectations"...and maybe it's why I continually surprise myself. I just don't expect too much anymore...and you know what? I don't think it's really a bad thing.

Let's get a back story of me and my HIGH expectations. I'm a Pisces - a dreamer, a daydreamer, a believer in all that is good and pure - magical even! If you have a definition of Pisces - well...I am it. I have grown up with this belief that there is good in every single person and situation - even when there is absolutely no hope at all - yeah, yeah, yeah - trust me, I know now that it's a fairy-story and I have been burned, crushed, beaten, diappointed, etc. etc...over and over again....so much so that I have learned to curb the higher expectations and lower them down a bit....life isn't all sunshine and roses....I get that. Trust me, I get it. I can daydream up any fancy scenario you want for anysituation...and guess what? it never really comes out the way I plan! LoL So, therefore, you can see how I had to change my expectations a little bit.

Sooooo....I have lowered my expectations a bit. I'm happier because of it. Here's some examples:

I love doing things more spontaneous - can't daydream about something if you just do it, right? no expectations to live up to.

I don't (never have & never will) post the rock-hard ab pictures on my wall as a motivator because....you know what??? I'd just get depressed looking at it - whatever I do is WAY better than what I wasn't doing at all before. Get it??? I get it - I'm NEVER going to maintain that kind of committment of training as a mom of 3. Sure, there are people out there who can do that, but I'm also a realist - that person is NOT me. emoticon

I like my concept of "Maintainability" - basically defined as as life that I can live and be happy with, without killing myself at the gym and still have a glass of wine and a chip when I want to...without guilt, because the next day, I will go back to doing my maintainable routine I have grown to love, honor, and cherish up until this point in time.

When I get to workout and sweat - it is ALL good. It's NOT consistent...because it is LIFE! Depending on the month, I can go hog wild and be steady, and then there are the nutty/crazy months, where all I want is to sit and be still....because in some way, shape, or form....my workout consisted of running around like a loon prepping this or that or whatknot for some function or other. I might not have "worked out" per se, but in reality - I never sat down either! Active....is good. Active still burns calories!

Quick story: today, I had my workout gear on with the BEST intentions of getting some sort of walk in - my legs are still sore from Sunday's impromptu/spontaneous run I got in during my son's lacross game - so I figured, why not stretch them out at the very least (note my low expectation). Hey, sometimes I put on my gear & never get on the treadmill - depending on what pops up...I used to have these high expections and all...and got bummed pretty good too when I didn't get to workout.(See? high expectation bummer = not good)

So I noted on the kid's school calendar that they were doing a "Mileage Walk" to kick off Healthy Habits month...walk around the field as many times as you can in a half hour & they tally up the miles. Cute idea. And I had no intention of going if it were raining. In fact, I didn't even tell the kids about it...because then, if we didn't, then THEY would be bummed. So after the lunches were packed, the backpacks ready, the kids' showered, fed, and dressed...and even I was fed at this point...and it was time to go to the busstop...and it wasn't raining either...well.....I just drove right past the busstop and went right to the field with the kids! All of them were: "Mom???? What are we doing?" and then I explained to them the Mileage Walk and they were all excited to do it! YAY!!!

There, we saw a bunch of kids they knew, mom's I knew...and being I was in workout gear with a hat on my head - noone knew it was me until the last second! LoL (that was pretty funny) And so we started the walk....I had no intention of running, and then....I did. I ran to catch up with this kid...and then that kid...and then this one and that one again....and before I knew it, 20 minutes and 2 miles flew by in the blink of an eye! No joke!!

It was the coolest thing too. I was a bit in schock when I asked the gym teacher how long we were there doing this and he said "20 minutes" ... my kids all logged over a mile and a half - my oldest ran a bunch and almost made 3 miles himself!! Everyone was smiling and glowing too..and they felt great being apart of something they didn't think about doing!

My low expection became a grin on my face...Anything sometimes is better than nothing....and all of those little "anythings" grow into bigger "somethings".

I don't think I will ever claim myself to be a "runner" - I am timid at best because I don't want to get hurt....but I will say that I am a "tryer" - moreso than I ever was in my life.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBECCATKD 5/15/2012 7:24PM

    Yes, you are a runner!

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OAKSHAVEN 5/8/2012 8:28PM

    I think your low expectations are just high enough to walk over, but not so high you have to climb laboriously up a mountain to reach them. And the mileage thing sounds like a fun and inventive way to get everyone moving.

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OAKBORN 5/8/2012 7:50PM

    Maybe we can "try" a 5K in the future sometime!

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STSCOTT11 5/8/2012 12:40PM

    GREAT BLOG!
I like what you said...about low expectations. I am a dreamer too...but I have some hard core realist ways about me.
I don't feel bad about never having a six pack or being a size 2...I didn't have one as a young woman. I certainly AM NOT going to have one after 3 children and being OVER 200 lbs. At least not naturally. lol But I TOO am far better off TODAY than I was a year ago. I FEEEEL SO MUCH BETTER and THAT is just as good as a six pack in my book.
I read and felt your spark in that blog. Your postitivity is GREAT. I look for inspiration DAILY...and throughout the day.
Keep up THE GOOD WORK!


Comment edited on: 5/8/2012 12:41:30 PM

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Lose vs. Loose - definitions

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Hey there...it's time for a little "educamation."

This is big, GINORMOUS pet peeve of mine...and for some reason, people either do not know or care to know the difference between the 2 words listed above, nor how to use them correctly....it's as good as the pet peeve of people not using the correct they're, their, or there in a sentence for me....and your or you're for that matter (while I happen to be on the subject) It's in the same vein of annoyance for me.

So to help you all out, please, read on:

WORD: lose

Definition of lose - pronunciation (looz) VERB
1. transitive verb have something taken away: to cease to possess or have something such as a job or home
2. transitive verb make somebody forfeit something: to be the cause of somebody's failure to obtain, win, or maintain something
"a mistake that lost us the game"
3. transitive verb mislay something: to be unable to find something, often only temporarily
4. transitive and intransitive verb fail to win: to fail to win a victory at something, e.g. in a contest, argument, war, game, or in court
5. transitive and intransitive verb earn less money than you spend: to be worse off, or worse off by a particular amount of money, as the result of a financial transaction or through expenditure exceeding income
"lost millions when the stock markets crashed"
"will lose on the deal"
6. transitive verb experience reduction in something: to experience a reduction in something such as weight or heat
7. transitive verb cease having quality: to cease having a quality, belief, attitude, or characteristic
"He's lost the will to live."
8. transitive verb cease having ability or sense: to cease having an ability or sense, e.g. through illness or an accident
"lose your sight"
9. transitive verb not use something to advantage: to waste or fail to take advantage of something such as time or an opportunity
10. transitive verb be unable to control something: to be unable to control an emotion or to maintain composure
"He loses his temper easily."
"He finally lost patience with them."
11. transitive verb have loved one die: to suffer the loss of somebody through death, e.g. a loved one, a patient, or a baby before term
12. transitive verb leave somebody following behind: to escape from or leave behind somebody who is in pursuit
13. transitive verb no longer see or hear somebody: to be unable to see or hear somebody or something any longer
14. transitive verb confuse somebody: to fail to make somebody understand something
"You've lost me there."
15. transitive verb dispose of something: to get rid of something or somebody that is unwanted or undesirable
"Lose that extra space on the left."
16. transitive and intransitive verb run slow: to be or become slow by an amount of time (refers to timepieces )

loose
Definition loose - pronunciation: (looss)

ADJECTIVE
loos·er comparative
loos·est superlative

1. not firmly attached: not firmly fastened or fixed in place
"a loose floorboard"
2. slack: not fastened or pulled tight
"a loose knot"
3. not tight-fitting: not fitting closely and thus baggy
4. free: allowed to move around freely without any restraint
"broke loose"
5. not packaged: not enclosed in a container or bound together
"loose tea"
6. not firmly packed: not compact or dense in texture or arrangement
"loose soil"
7. imprecise: not exact, literal, or precise
"a loose translation"
8. flexible: not strictly controlled or organized
"a loose arrangement"
9. available: not earmarked for a particular purpose
"loose funds"
10. irresponsible: lacking restraint or a sense of propriety
"loose talk"
11. too fluid: too fluid in consistency
"characterized by stomach cramps and loose stools"
12. accompanied by phlegm: accompanied by the production of phlegm or mucus
"a loose cough"
13. relaxed: relaxed or free from tension ( informal )
14. promiscuous: having many sexual partners ( dated ) ( disapproving )
ADVERB
loos·er comparative
loos·est superlative
1. freely: freely or without restraint

VERB
loosed past and past participle
loos·ing present participle
loos·es 3rd person present singular

1. transitive verb set somebody or something free: to release a person or animal from restraint or confinement
2. transitive verb untie knot: to undo, untie, or unfasten something
3. transitive and intransitive verb make something less tight: to make something less tight, or be made less tight
4. transitive verb release somebody from obligation: to release somebody from an obligation or pressure
5. transitive and intransitive verb fire missile: to fire an arrow, bullet, or other missile

(12th century. Old Norse lauss, Germanic)
loose·ly ADVERB
loose·ness NOUN
be on the loose

1. to be free from confinement, e.g. a prison

2. to be free from responsibilities and having a good time (informal)
let loose to obtain relief from tension or worry (informal)

(now THIS NEXT PART is the best!!!)

WORD USAGE
loose or lose? Lose is a verb only, meaning variously "to mislay," "to fail to win," etc., as in Don't lose [not loose] possession of the ball, or you'll lose the game. Loose is an adjective, adverb, and verb. As an adjective it means variously "not firmly fixed," "not restrained," etc., as in loose [not lose] floorboards; loose [not lose] dogs running through the alley. As an adverb it means "freely," as in dogs running loose [not lose]. As a verb it means variously "to untie," "to make less tight," and "to fire a projectile," as in loosed her grip; loosed the taut anchor line; loosed a volley of arrows.


emoticon There...my pet peeve is out in the open for all to behold. Millions of times a day, these 2 words are written incorrectly by millions of Sparkers/people worldwide - I get it, but maybe if 5 people read this, then maybe 1 will be corrected. At least I did my part to fix the issue at hand! LoL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 6/6/2012 9:48PM

    OMG - (kinda hate that silly term but . . . ) - Thank You Thank You Thank You!

These errors drive me crazy, and I try to just bite my tongue, but it's painful. It's a different issue from a typo, it's a bsatardization of the English language, and it bugs.

OK. Time to move my rant on down the road.

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OAKBORN 5/8/2012 7:51PM

    I soooooooo understand what you are saying!

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TXGRANDMA 5/8/2012 12:52PM

    I agree, but there are many more words that people don't use correctly that bother me more, I guess the pet one of mine is to and too! Why don't people get it that too means too much, and to means to go somewhere? It is simple to me!

Also, few and less. Less refers to "less water", etc., something that can't be counted. few refers to a few people or fewer people, something you CAN count. I hate it when it is written "less people" (?????)

Also, your, which shows possession, such as your hat, and you're, which is a contraction for you are, such as "you're really doing well" NOT "your really doing well" There are a lot more, but just can't think of them, now!

I can sympathize! emoticon

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NUOVAELLE 5/8/2012 12:07PM

    To be honest, I thought the blog would be totally different! I thought you would talk about all the things that become "loose" once you "lose" too much weight!!! See what happens when the mind is preoccupied?
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Anyway, I'm always a big supporter of the right use of languages - written and spoken - and, since English is not my native language, I try to be very careful. So, I'm with you!
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CAPTHAMMER 5/8/2012 10:06AM

    emoticon emoticonKnew exactly what this blog was going to be about just by reading the title...though I was not expecting a mini-Mirriam Webster of information.

I agree with you on all points and find that I have to be careful of your and you're if I'm writing too quickly (and can we also through too and to into the mix, just sayin').

Have you ever noticed where the folks live that use 'loose' the most? I'm on teams with a good number of Canadians and British and they seem to frequently use loose instead of lose. I've begun to believe that it might somehow be correct Queen's English usage for them. Otherwise I have no explanation.
Good luck with your campaign emoticon

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Hey, soccermom's...I so get it now, but I'm not giving in....

Sunday, May 06, 2012

I have 3 sons....and with that, I have been warned that when they are all in sports (like now), well, then, all the free time that WAS yours is now gone and you are the taxi service from the hours of 5pm to 7:30 or 8pm at night.

And you know what? They were right.

I was a Doubting Thomas too, saying "It can't be that bad!" but oh, yes.....it is.

First, the menu planning went out the window....and that first week, we ate like crap - even did a few fast food/frozen pizza nights there. Vegetables???? Um, what are those?!?!?! The only color I ate was from pizza sauce. So gross.

That first week - there WAS no exercise for me....but there was me sitting on my butt reading in the karate studio and sitting in the car waiting for lacrosse to end....here's the excuse I loved the most on that first week: "OH the weather is just so horrible, I can't stand being cold...I'll just sit here and read some more." (That darned Kindle is like my new crack by the way...had to charge the battery in 3 weeks, not the 2 months like they said - do the math, I read fast and a lot!)

The epiphany came at the end of the first week when hubby & I looked at each other...sitting on the couch, each with viscous gas pains from the bad diet all week long....and we said, "We cannot do this....we cannot go down the evil path of where we were before...we gotta get a grip!!!"

So that is what we did.

First item tackled: THE WEEKLY MENU.
Problem #1: what to eat.....oh we know, we just have to plan getting it made better...so that was done - and I used my time more efficiently.

Problem #2: WHEN to eat - before or AFTER the games/pracices. Eating late was just TERRIBLE for us. It's kinda sad to sit with your youngest after he gets home from practice and keep him company while he eats a bowl of cold cereal (Oh yes, we had sunk that low) and then when he said "Mommy, why aren't we eating as a family anymore?" (AHHHHH!!! Stab me in the heart, why don't you!) That was the point I knew something was terribly wrong. SO - we all agreed to eat EARLY....and when I mean early, I mean 4:30 or 4:45 before we headed out the door for 3 hours. Again....the solution worked because we snacked less in between, felt satisfied, and then we'd have a healthy snack when they got home - if they wanted it.

So the second week was much better and the third, even better than the second! Of course now that the routine is down, the sports will shift again in a few weeks, but hey, we managed a new plan of attack!

Now, the other matter was exercise. What exercise? Well...I also tweaked my mindset. I got on the treadmill more on the days I could. I mowed the lawn TWICE now (Yay me!!!) and today, at the lacrosse game - the school had a field and I purposefully wore my sports bra and sneakers in order to get in a quick mile. Which, I wound up doing a mile and a half and running here and there...with my other 2 kids too on some legs!!! Heart rate up! You betcha! Run in front of complete strangers because I could? yup, you betcha!! In fact, if felt freeing that I even COULD run a bit, because for years, I could not/would not even attempt a track!!! So BIG Yay me today!!! BIG YAY!!

Which brings me to some other missed opportunities that will no longer be missed by me. For example: While waiting for the practice to end: Time to walk the perimeter of the field - let the kids play on the playground, I can see them fine...and I can run there pretty fast now too if I had to get there quick...why coffee clotch when I can get my heart rate up??? Hey, I might tell a mom to come join me! Why not?

I could give in to the whole: "Gee, it's so hectic, I have no time for me, it's all about the kids" garbage, but no, I don't think so. Not me. Not now. That's "old me's" baggage. Trust me, I get it. I get the craziness of it all. I get the tiredness that comes from the endless planning. I get it. I get the lethargy and the dontwannas...but if my kids are all smelly and stinky and SMILING after their practice....WHY NOT ME TOO?!? We are in this together right?

Right.

So next time the "Soccermom's" are all standing around and talking about the latest "50 Shades" book...ask them to join you on a quick walk around the field while you all wait. You might get a taker or two! Surprise them and yourself with your actions..why not?!? You just might start a trend...I'm hoping I do.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUZYWM 6/6/2012 9:41PM

    You are too too fabulous! I so need to do this type of adjustment, and I love your ideas. Great job!!!
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OAKSHAVEN 5/6/2012 10:05PM

    Wow. Now YOU are a soccer mom I might vote for if you were running for vice president. :) Such an intelligent, adult approach. Gives me something to strive for.

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REBECCATKD 5/6/2012 4:38PM

    Love it! You're right: it's crap that we moms "just don't have time." There's a heck of a lot of downtime involved in chauffering kids to sports, classes, etc. You rock for taking advantage of it.

Even a 10-minute workout is a workout!!

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OAKBORN 5/6/2012 2:24PM

    There you go! Being all sensible again! Good for you! Finding a way to not have excuses and just do it! emoticon

You are wunnerful! emoticon emoticon

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Dah-dada-daaa!! It's Supermoon!

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Yup - Supermoon....and no, that is not a typo....I did not write Supermom (although...I am) emoticon I am talking about the SuperMOON that is coming up this Saturday night.

If you don't know what it is, give it a little web search and find out...bascially, it's when the moon is closest to the earth.

Which ALSO means that if you feel a little bit "off" or "wacky" (more than normal for some of us, I am sure! LoL) or were wondering why the kids are absolutely bonkers or were wondering where everyone else's brain went....well - there is your answer!! The SUPERMOON!

So now that I've edumacated you on that little tid-bit....how about this little teeny tiny, itty bitty tip...I'm inclined to give one because GOD KNOWS I could use it and implement it myself, especially this week: BE POSITIVE!!

oh....and drink your water...

oh...and track your calories....

oh,..and hugs someone ....that is always good to do....people don't hug enough anymore.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FULLOFFAITH 5/5/2012 8:21PM

    Supermoon that explains it emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Lisa

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OAKSHAVEN 5/5/2012 11:06AM

    My granddaughter and I were standing outside last night looking at it. No wonder everyone responds to it in bizarre ways. So bright and fat, bathing us in moonwaves. Take care of yourself until the craziness wanes.

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OAKBORN 5/5/2012 10:10AM

    OMG... you used "edumacated"... we use that turn of phrase! I've never heard anyone outside our circle use that...

I knew there was a reason I liked you!

And you are right on with the hugs!

Comment edited on: 5/5/2012 10:12:35 AM

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NUOVAELLE 5/4/2012 2:09AM

    Oh, yes, I've heard! And all of the catastrophe talks that come with it! In my country, it's our election weekend and you can imagine all the bad scenarios that have been made due to the Supermoon!
I agree, people don't hug enough anymore. And it's the most beautiful way to show your love and affection!
Thank you for all the great advice!
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AEROBISAURUS 5/3/2012 5:01PM

    Woooo, I can't wait. I emoticon the Supermoon. So cool! :) Also good advice. emoticon Lol

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Me? Athletic? Awww, shucks...really?

Monday, April 16, 2012

Yup..I am in a little bit of a shock here.

I was called "athletic"...well, not really, but close enough for me.

A soccer ball ran out onto the lacrosse field and I ran out and got it...so a mom I just met and another lax mom I already knew, both said, "Boy, look at you lookin' all althletic out there!" I started laughing b/c I can't take a compliment...and joked that maybe it had something to do with my sneakers, black OldNavy cargo pants and red half-zip fleece I had on that day...I sure looked very sporty.

It got me thinking though...I guess I have BECOME more athletic over the last few years because before Spark....I sure as heck was NOT!

I have no problem wearing the tight running gear in public now....I have no problem playing lacrosse or soccer with the kids in an open field. I even have it in my mind to gear up in my exercise clothes at the next lax game - just in case there is a track to walk on prior to the game (we usually wait a good half-hour before the game starts for the kids to warm up and practice a bit...why not use my time wisely, right?)

Another funny thing was that I was recognized by someone on the lax field whom I had met about 2 years ago...I've been steady for a while in appearance, so I don't know why I was a bit shocked at being recognized, but I was. When you originally come from a place where a) you don't want to be recognized because you are hiding or b) you don't consider yourself worthy of being recognized or c) you have changed so much in appearance that some people don't recognize you right off the bat or sometimes at all....or d) all of the above.....it was kinda weird to be sought out and said 'Hello!' to. (LOL - self-image baggage coming through loud and clear captain!)

Which also bring me to another realization that people notice me waaaay more than I realize...my bff has said that for yeeeeaaaars, but alas, I have never believed her. I've been noticing it more and more for some reason....makes me a bit wary in some ways, empowered in others.

Anyway....it's all about growth isn't it....things never cease to amaze me, especially when it comes to self-realization. Call me overly humble...call it emerging self-esteem...whatever it is takes time, that is for darn sure.

OK - gotta get my "athletic" butt on the road and walk to work today...it's a beautiful day out and there is a ton of stuff I have to do.

TTYL Sparkbuds...hoping tonight is a night to visit some of you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 4/16/2012 6:58PM

    I hear you as usual. Such great comments.

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BUTTERFLY-1976 4/16/2012 11:49AM

    emoticon

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