Tuesday, January 29, 2013
I was just sitting here thinking... well, actually on my drive around town today to get stuff done within an hour's timespan for personal reasons... and as I popped by the office to bang out some work real fast, it occurred to me that there can really be some wonderful clarity when you say "NO - that doesn't work for me" when it actually means something....and then to actually embrace it as such.
This can be in many scenarios when you think about it... at work, at school, with family, with organizations... especially if you constantly say "yes" - "yeah sure, no problem, I will figure it out" - but the detriment comes unto yourself when you are loading yourself with extra baggage that doesn't really belong there because you "are the fixer" or "it's just easier if I do it myself".
I am the classic "Yeah, no problem, I got it" person. I have great pride in the fact that I can fix pretty much everything you throw at me. I will FIND the answer if I don't have it. I will FIX you.
And I will also beat myself up if things don't go the way things are planned... especially when the group dynamic comes into play (more heads thinking sometimes throws logic out the window - in my humble opinion).
And I will also feel bad about not being able to help as much as I can.
Hold on a second here.... about the above two scenarios I just wrote about... I am much better than I was 5 years ago... I am going to give myself credit where credit it due on that point. If you don't want to listen to reason and logic, and do what you want, go ahead - it's on you.
AHA! See? Progress!!!
Anyway, back to saying "no" - well, sometimes, it takes the unwanted and unneccassary burden off your shoulders . . sometimes it frees up time that you didn't know you had . . sometimes it empowers oneself to actually move forward instead of holding oneself back . . sometimes it will disappoint another for a minute, but bring joy to you for an afternoon! . . sometimes it saves one from oneself (and we can throw in a foodie staying-in-range reference here if you like).
Why is this thought process coming out of my brain now? Well.... my very active son is home sick for another day - and it is the busiest day of the week, that would end at 7pm on a normal day....we have been going on and on for weeks, and I am a bit tired. Well, now, he cannot go to school or anything after school because he is sick.. the answer of "no" was given to the religion teacher, the orchestra teacher, the elementary school teachers that he could not go in to school...and on my end, it was a a bit freeing to say to my friends: You guys have to figure out carpooling this week..because I can't do it.
Normally, I have no problem with pitching in...trust me, I do plenty, probably more than ... but this little hiatus was unexpected... and freeing in many ways.
Saying "no" sometimes for the right reasons is what I am really talking about I guess... Saying "No" too many times in other areas is just as bad as saying "yes"... it's the balance of both, the yin and the yang, the homeostatis of peace and understanding that really needs to come about to be.. I don't know what .. a complete being.
OK - getting deep here. But you get my drift... or at least I hope you do.
So now to saying "yes" to me again...to tracking, to drinking that water (I cannot believe I have slacked on that part!) . . to things that make me... SMILE! A walk, playing piano, reading.. soulful things.
You never know how thing are until an "Aha" moment comes along....and what I am learning, is that there are many more that I ever thought!
Monday, January 28, 2013
and now is this the calm before the real storm???
Ugh, you guys have no idea how the full moon hit me last week! I'd say it was one of those rare collisions of choas coming together all at once that hit me in the work - family - extracurricular - school world...and I could do NOTHING but ride the wave until it passed.
was my face when I ended it and then decided to hide for the weekend!! LOL
Hey, sometimes, S-it happens like that! I don't like it to, but there it is...what are ya gonna do about it? Whine? Naaaaah....what good is that gonna do when you have absolutely no control over a situation?!? But I whine anyway I try not to, but hey, I am human....it happens!
So anyway...things here on Spark get uber quiet when things get hairy..I wish there were more hours in the day sometimes, to get to everyone in my sites when I come across them, but let's face it, somethings gotta give...and it's that. I'm sitting in a quiet house right now (I have a sick kid home today) and all I want to do really is take a nap to recharge...but instead, I am taking the few moments to give this quick update so you know that I am alive!
And let's face it, sometimes being absent from something that you KNOW works is NOT a good thing...so here I am...checking in, everyday...even if it's just a wee bit at a time. I think if I stopped sparking it would be way worse than stopping my cyclical exercising, which, by the way, should be kicking in aaaany day now...I feel it.
Weird huh? How I go through these cycles? I have gotten used to them now... things get crazy, I stop exercising - even though my brain is telling me to keep going because exercise helps stress - but do I listen? have I learned? nope. Maybe one day! I'm thinking when unicorns come and eat out of my hand on a warm winter's day. That would be the time for SURE! But I digress...tis how I am made I guess! Better than not exercising at all like BEFORE... ugh...that was a deeeezaaaaster!
Oh good god this IS a disjointed ramble blog...totally not my style.. but now you get how my brain is right now!
There is no pithy lesson here today, there is no rah rah rah sis boom bah either...just little ol' me telling you that I'm AOK and not gone...hey...maybe that is my pithy bloggidy message for today: Don't go away! Stay active on Spark! It's good for you!!!
There! You see?!?! I did it! Whew...thought I was losing my touch there for a sec!
Ok - I just heard the kiddo cough his head off and bark like a seal at the same exact time ...time for Nurse Nightinggale to attend the patient!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
OK... I just realized that the very first blog someone new will read on here in the last 4 days was about gas... my gas inducing Colon Blow goo. Lovely!!!
So yesterday, I had an awesome day.
It was totally not weightloss - maintenance - exercise related either (Hmmm or now that I think about it... was it?) Well, anyway.. It was work related.
I don't reallly talk about work on here, but let me just say this one thing: Change is a-comin' in 2013 and yesterday, my soon--to-be new boss, well, I impressed the SH** out of him! Oh yes...I said that. He came into the day thinking one thing, and my agenda was something completely different, and guess what, it was just what we needed to do! WOOHOO! Give this girl a gold medal! And it's not like it's going to get easy at all - I am UBER SUPER busy even more so now, but it's all manageable if we take things one step at a time.
So anyway....that was my awesome day. I was awesome. Work was awesome. New boss is awesome. I hope and pray it stays this awesome. Nope....no pressure at all, Pollyanna!
But I will say this: the universe always tends to balance things out because I walked into my house all smiles and everyone basically turned to me and was like "what?" "everything has been going nuts here.. so and so fell, this one is a pain with his homework... sorry to bust you bubble when you "galavant" in here, but we got things to do". Hmmmm, gee thanks family - way to kill a girls buzz.
So I shut up....and got to work... and eventually got an apology at dinner, and I didn't overeat (like I would tend to want to do), and then the day continued to progress into o.k-ness into the night.
Hey - just speaking the truth... awesome balanced out with other people reality is life! LOL Ups and downs are like "peas and carrots."- they just get along.
OK - back to my awesome day.
So my new co-worker was looking at photo's on the wall...past photos. I had already told him that I was maintaining 50 pounds gone..and he kinda didn't believe me.. until he saw the pictures. I also have this bracelet that OAKBORN sent me that says
UNBREAKABLE and he also saw that and realized that I'm dead serious about the whole weight thing.
He asked me if I was "stict" about my eating and I just told him - at 10am, I will be disappearing and cramming a granola bar into my mouth while I work, because I eat when I am hungry and that is the time I am hungry...every single day.
The look on his face was hysterical and he said, "hey, whatever you need to do".
And I told him about how I was laughing at all the cookies and crap they have at the office.. I told him that it would have been kryptonite years ago, but now it's AOK and I really don't care if it's there or not. Again, I got that pensive nod that indicated, 'Wow , this girl is determined". I just told him it is what it is...and that is it.
It's funny what other people see now that I am thinner and when they first meet me. They have NO idea what's going on in my head (and vice versa right? LOL)
OMG - I didn't think this blog was going to be about weight, and low and behold, here it is again! LOL Won't you ever go away?? No, I guess not, my dear old nagging little friend!
PS - Just wanted to say THANKS to all the friend-adds I got in the last 4 days - WHOA! is a word that comes to mind. I will try to get to visit you all soon... most likely tomorrow because right now.. oh, life is getting in the way! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Ok... so here's the deal. I had bought, more like overbought, 3 boxes of Kashi 7-grain Pilaf a few months back because they were on sale...and I make a soup with it that I lovingly refer to as "Colon Blow" , well, the the thing is, that soup is good for like, once a year thing or otherwise, you'd feel like this and then this and then this .. ALL THE TIME!
Unless you like that sort of thing... you sick twisted masochist!
So now I have hubby telling me every so often that there are still 2 boxes downstairs in the basement .. are we gonna use them or not ... (I was hoping that our occasional seasonal house guests, Mickey and Minnie, would find them as a mid-winter treat, but alas, they have not) ... blah blah blah. Now i gotta figure out what to do with them besides Colon Blow Soup.
Break out the crockpot! I read somewhere about overnight breakfast porridge... I look it up...and low and behold, there it is! I follow the directions (mostly) and whallah! breakfast is served.
And it sucked
Well, I ate it - OK, I forced myself to eat my half cup serving... it's GOOD for me! I MADE it! I HAVE TO EAT IT!!
But the kids, try as they may, they flat out tried it and hated it.
Exit 2 cups gone to the trash and 6 cups left in the crockpot.
and I HATE waste... so it's time to redoctor what's left! I will show them! This will be GREAT!
Enter butter, brown sugar, a banana - coat the bottom of a cassrole dish, add 2 cups mush on top and add more brown sugar. Oh yeah...and salt. Even wall-paper paste needs some salt, or so I have learned with this escapade in mush repurposing.
Baked it this morning . .. with not too bad results! I ate it.. again. Can't even count the butter and most of the sugar because the flavor only penetrated a small bit of the mush-brick that was in my bowl and the rest was laft behind in a liquid form back in the casserole dish.
So you see... I am SO good right? Colon cleansing goodness... repurposing.. bein' green and economical. Yeah... I got it goin' on!
Hold on a minute here.
What is all this gurgling going on.
You IDIOT! You forgot about the lentil soup you ate last night, didn't you!
You know what the kashi + the lentil soup is, genius? Don't you remember??
Silly silly girl!!! You inadvertantly made Colon Blow Soup in a 2 day process, but inside yourself!!!
To say that my insides are rolling, well, how can I describe this nicely... All of you who had kids, remember when they were moving inside your womb? stretching, having hiccups, flipping? Close your eyes, take a moment, think back. Well...um, they ya go... that is what is goin' on!
OMG!!! Where is my water?!?!?!
I need it! STAT! We need to get this stuff OUT ASAP!
Oh, WHAT HAVE IT DONE!
My family is going to HATE me later! There is no way around this.. there is no feminine delicacy when one consumes Colon Blow.
Oh the horror!!
This is a learning moment for SURE! and I cannot even blame anyone but myself! Suuuure, I can blame the hubby, but what good will that do??!?! Absolutely nothing.
Oh well... I am sure this too shall pass in due time (literally)... but in the meantime... such JOY! such FUN! This is going to be a fanTAStic day! I can feel it..right here, in my gut!
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