ANNIEONLI   47,510
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
ANNIEONLI's Recent Blog Entries


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Fear can be debilitating.

You stand there... thinking.

You know you should do something... act out... but you can't.

Instead of moving forward, you take the whole situtation, crumbling it up into a tiny wad, and shove it back into your pocket, where you secretly hope it will be forgotten about, or fall out of your pocket, or even better, it will just get destroyed in the wash.

But it doesn''s still there in some form, even after the wash.

After the wash, sometimes it stays whole, just a little morphed, but most of the time, it breaks up into undistinguishable little pieces, but now it's all over everything else... onto your favorite thing, like little tiny blobs of goo that even the dryer won't be able to sort out.

Getting it back together is hopeless at this point... it's time to chuck the whole lot.

And just think, if you actually took the fear out of your pocket - faced it head on right there and then... well, you'd have something completely new in your hand instead of a useless ruined thing.


Here are my 2 worst fears:

1) I have not put in my name or my story into Spark Success Stories "officially" because I am scared. Scared that I will gain the weight back and be a hippocrite in my own eyes once I do that. The same goes for the National Weight Control Registry and a recent survery I was sent by the Maintenance Group. I don't want to jinx anything...silly,I know, but there it is.

2) I am scared to put into words several businesses plans because every time I have said something to someone - the "devil's advocates" come out and all I need is support, the pros, the "you can do it, that's a great idea!"... not the cons. I don't need the cons right now. The cons will come in time - and get ironed out in time...that's part of the learning process. I know I have said stuff and failed before too (really, that is what bothers me the most - I bite off way more than I can chew and then crash and burn) but then again, I started Spark without support, without homefront fanfare - I can be successful at this too if I just try and believe in myself... If I just get brave and set attainable goals.

There it is - I need to be brave. I need to face the fear. I did it before, I can do it again. I cannot let fear hold me back.


So what is your fear...what is holding you back?

PS A friend on FB just posted this...had to share

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REBECCATKD 5/22/2013 11:17AM

    Maintenance is hard work, too. When you decide to submit your story, perhaps you can alleviate your fears by admitting that it's not over; it's never over. A healthy, fit lifestyle requires dedication and commitment (just like a healthy marriage!) You could inspire many people by including your thoughts on maintenance because, unfortunately, many of us lose weight, gain it right back, and then give up. Your maintenance is a HUGE part of your success story!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOLOPTIOUS 5/22/2013 11:06AM

    You're a success story to me whether you put your name and story anywhere. You are one of my motivators. And you know what? Even if you were to gain weight back I know that you would never give up on yourself and you'd keep improving and that in itself is a success.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 5/22/2013 8:55AM

    Behind the fear, there is the fear of failure. I am trying to accept myself as not being perfect in weight maintenance. I joined the National Registry to define myself as a maintainer and to hopefully give input to study maintenance. Half of the people on the registry are trying to lose up pounds. Obviously lots of people are not perfect.

You are right about facing the fear and acting on it, being the way to go. You have shown such strength in your life, maintaining your weight all of these years. I know you will figure out this business fear..and find yourself where you want to be.


Report Inappropriate Comment
DWEXCEL 5/22/2013 7:06AM

    It's funny, (but not funny ha ha), but you just don't seem like a person to be paralyzed by fear. You are always so strong and positive, that is just doesn't seem possible that you would be a "real person" and have fear(s) just like real people do.

I totally relate to your metaphorically story describing fear. One thing I do know is that, all that CRAP that we put ourselves through WORRYING about and STRESSING about the issue is 9 out of 10 times much worse than the issue turns out to be.......Just think about that

Now I know "That's easy for me to say" I am one who even though I know it, I still worry and stress and make things worse by doing that. And sometimes, I just go....OMG.....that was it.....that's all there was to it.....after I've put myself through the wringer sometimes for days!!!!

But, at any rate, We know you are a strong woman who has come a very long way! You have tremendous support, and from what I've read about you, you have it at home now too!

So, wouldn't it be better to just meet your fear HEAD-ON.....get it over with, and use all that worry/stress energy right then.....rather than letting it eat you alive.

Well, I hope I will take my own advise too! But you can do this Girl!!!! You can do anything!!!

Love you, my Friend!

And, BTW....."Don't ever let Anyone (or Anything) Dull your Spark"!!!!! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 5/21/2013 10:31PM

    Currently my fear is my boss leaving to Israel and leaving me 'in charge' of the business he started. I didn't sign up to be in charge, I wanted to start at the bottom of the food chain and mill around there for a bit. emoticon I'm not ready for a real grown up job.

Here's me being your pro: emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRISKECK 5/21/2013 1:59PM

    One of my favorite recent blog posts is entitled "Avoiding fear by indulging in our fear of fear" . It was written by Seth Godin, and his premise is that we paralyze ourselves by not facing the things that we are afraid will inspire fear in us. "Every day, we make a thousand little compromises, avoid opportunities, actions and people, all so that we can stay away from the emotion of fear." Not staying away from the things we fear, but from the very emotion. I think that's so true for so many of us, and so limiting. I printed it out and hung it on the wall and am trying to face the emotion of fear when I feel it in the vicinity. Your blog reminded me of that. Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NUOVAELLE 5/21/2013 1:40PM

    Fear of failure.
Fear of letting ourselves down.
Fear of failing in the eyes of the people in our lives.
No matter how you call it, it's always the same fear. And it's rooted deep inside us since our early childhood - at least in my case. And we can really find the strength inside us to overcome it. And someone who believes in us and is always there to remind us of what we've achieved is a great help.
I believe in you, Annie. And I know you'll face your fears. Because if you think about it, that's what you've been doing successfully for a long time. You just never took the last tiny step towards proving it to yourself.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Found a cute pic

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DWEXCEL 5/22/2013 6:46AM

    Love it!


Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 5/17/2013 3:10AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
SASSYSACY 5/16/2013 4:24PM

    Great pic and great attitude!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NUOVAELLE 5/16/2013 2:06AM

    Nice! Keep on spark(l)ing, Annie!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WATERMELLEN 5/15/2013 10:03PM

    Cute indeed! And thanks for your kind comment on my four year blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE1221 5/15/2013 6:39PM

    So very true!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 5/15/2013 6:06PM

    Lovely picture to keep the sparkle in spark!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONCEUPONABOD 5/15/2013 2:17PM

    Good advice!

Thanks for keeping all your posts on your SparkPage! I just skimmed through and feel inspired. Once again, I'm trying to fan my spark into a flame. The good news this time around is I think my husband is on board. Yippee!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BROWNCOFIDDLER 5/15/2013 11:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 5/15/2013 11:18AM

    Awesome! Very apropos for this site!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATIEM929 5/15/2013 11:12AM

    Super cute! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment

NSV - Perfect blood work results

Friday, May 10, 2013

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

To say that I am happy and smiling is an understatement.

I am ELATED to the 15th power!!! emoticon

I will not lie...the last time I had blood work done I was pregnant with my 3rd (he's almost 7 now) and I was heavy...and even then it was pretty good for my weight...maybe a little on the higher side for cholesterol (I think I remember a 190 or 209 number somewhere)..maybe that was from my pre-second 3rd baby bloodwork. I forget. All I DO know is that is was a long long time ago.

So why did I go to the doctor now and get this done.

Simple. I turned 40.

And that is what you do when you turn 40. You go for a physical and get blood work and tests, and all sorts of things as a base line now that things are going to fall to pieces. emoticon

Well, really it's because I needed to because I haven't and I should, and we found a new doctor, etc. etc. etc..... and I was curious too.

I was curious as to how all this "lifestyle change" was working for me besides me feeling great and looking better than I ever have in my life (hey, that part is going to be gone soon enough, might as well live that part up a little! LoL)

When I started Sparkpeople, what I wanted first and foremost was to be healthy and to FEEL better...everything else that came along with it was going to be just an added bonus.

Well, I can honestly say that the mission and main goal has officially been accomplished!!!!!!!
emoticon And I have the paperwork to prove it!

Perfect cholesterol levels.
Perfect blood pressure.
Perfect white blood cell and red blood cell and all those good things.
Perfect liver enzymes.
Perfect thyroid numbers.
All in range for everything else doctory and confusing if you don't have a physician's desk reference. emoticon

To say I was happy to hear the doctors report...well, it's an understatement.
It's physical proof that I am doing something right.

I can't imagine what those numbers would be today if I didn't take the reigns of control back in 2008. I seriously cannot wrap my head around it....because I remember acutely how crappy I felt for the previous 20 years..and how sad I was... and how shy, and how just plain icky things were even though life was happy and good and blessed. All that needed fixing really was my health...and noone could do that except me.

I'm glad I helped me.

I'm glad my sister sent me the Sparkpeople link and told me to check it out.

I'm glad that I finally found a place to work it all out.

I'm glad I stuck with it, made Sparkfriends (good heavens, you know who you are! and there are many many to name!) and built up a support system within the support system.

I'm glad I recorded everything ... every step of the way.

I am so frickin' glad it's not funny.

So a big shout out to Spark once again...for being here to help everyone who needs it.

Thanks Chris Downie... emoticon from the bottom of my healthy emoticon


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINAJANE76 5/14/2013 7:09PM

    Great stuff! THIS is what it's all about!

Report Inappropriate Comment
OAKBORN 5/14/2013 9:42AM

    If nobody has told you this today: You are emoticon !!!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SASSYSACY 5/13/2013 1:02PM

    Youv'e worked so hard and you deserve it! Good for you!


Report Inappropriate Comment
DWEXCEL 5/12/2013 4:38PM

    Well, there you go! You have proven what it takes to get healthy, and that exercise and eating right are the best medicine for anything:)

Awesome job! So Proud of you!


P.S. Mine is always good too!

Comment edited on: 5/12/2013 4:40:08 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 5/11/2013 1:22AM

    I want perfect paperwork too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BROOKLYN_BORN 5/10/2013 7:13PM

    That's wonderful news!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MILLIE5522 5/10/2013 6:16PM

    emoticon emoticon Fantastic!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NUOVAELLE 5/10/2013 2:41PM

    Congratulations Annie! That's great news!
You've been definitely doing something right and you've been inspiring others to do the same. Keep up the great job! I'm asking this from the bottom of my healthy heart! (I liked this one!)

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOSE4LIFE47 5/10/2013 1:30PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
GERARLAUR 5/10/2013 1:29PM

    Excellent job!

Report Inappropriate Comment

The wine fairy

Thursday, May 09, 2013

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a fair maiden who was tired and low because day in and day out, all those she loved and cared for did not say thank you as much as they should... and the humdrum monotony of life was starting to take its toll.

Distraught, she turned to the her mystical online friends and typed in her plight...that all she wanted was a hug and a nice glass of wine.

Little known to her, a friend saw her need and grabbed a bottle of wine out of her cupboard, plopped it in a pretty bag and literally, within minutes, was ringing the fair maiden's doorbell to deliver the wine and give her a hug!

The wine fairy was born emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Yesterday...I did just what the fair maiden in the story did...and all I typed in was:
"Wine. Need. Badly"

The fair maiden took her turn and was the wine fairy for me yesterday.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

This "wine fairy" has sort of become a little running joke in our elementary school/facebook community...there are many out there now since the wine fairy was brought into light because of a few (I am happy to be one of those few).

Maybe you can be a "wine fairy" to someone in your community.

Honestly...the key to being a good wine fairy is to first listen, then act randomly...because when it is most needed and least expected, that is when it means the most.

Pay it forward....and make someone smile

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DWEXCEL 5/10/2013 8:05AM

    Love it! Sounds nice........And Fun too! No to mention, extremely thoughtful, and did I say fun..... emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 5/10/2013 2:00AM

    I love this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MKELLY72 5/9/2013 1:18PM

    Oh I love this!! I could sooooo be a wine fairy!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CELIAMINER 5/9/2013 12:58PM

    Love it! I'm a virtual beer fairy for a classmate from high school...that's our running joke.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BONOLICIOUS2 5/9/2013 12:36PM

    Random acts of kindness - LOVE IT! And it could be anything, not just wine! A cup of coffee/tea, a magazine. This is awesome, thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
YAMINOKODOMO 5/9/2013 12:33PM

    I love that! I would totally be someones wine fairy if I new people in my neighborhood lol!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 5/9/2013 11:22AM

    I could be a wine fairy, I have a few bottles and I don't drink! Maybe for mother's day I'll pick random mother's to gift them to!

Report Inappropriate Comment
REBECCATKD 5/9/2013 11:09AM

    My neighborhood definitely needs a wine fairy. Thanks for the idea!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NUOVAELLE 5/9/2013 10:45AM

    What a lovely running joke, Annie! I want to borrow it! And I'm also jealous of the elementary school facebook community. Too bad we're too far away and I can't be part of it....
I love the way your story was told. Inspiring, as always.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENSTRESS 5/9/2013 9:58AM

    I would like to start this lovely tradition. Thank you for the inspiration!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Where I go when I am quiet on Spark

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Not anywhere really. emoticon

I think a lot...and I "lurk" instead of interact... I read things...but I don't comment.

I a sponge...and I try to figure people out, like I'm on CSI.

As in "figuring out", I try to see where people are, how they got there, etc. etc. and their plan of action and how or why things are working or not working for them.

I also look around all those Sparkfriends in my list. ** sigh** emoticon some have been missing for over a year. emoticon I wonder how they are doing...where they had gone to. Hey...if you are reading this: update your status so I know you are alive! Thanks, much appreciated.

I read the ads that pop up on Spark now. I remember when the first major one was "laughing cow ice cream" ... and now there is a Sensa add. Really? Sensa? Whatever. Ad money is ad money - gotta keep Spark free for people right? but Sensa? I get the Weight Watchers ads, but Sensa? Yeah, I'm a Sparkdiet-snob I guess.

Like everything, the quiet is cyclical...things are going around and around - mainly in my head on the future... yup, still knocking that old chestnut around trying to crack it. Soon.

Speaking of which: What I'd love to do is work for Sparkpeople. There. I said it out loud. I think I'd be great on this team...I just don't know how to go about doing it. Maybe I will figure it out eventually. Heck, maybe, just maybe Sparkguy will see this and say "hey, that girls got something to offer! I wanna get her resume!"

But then again, I don't have thousands or even hundreds of Sparkfriends (on purpose really - I wanted the list to be manageable) and I have yet to have a featured blog or anything....well, except I have the tag "motivator".

I love that title by the keeps me on the straight and narrow - to be upheld to a higher standard. A higher standard for myself. That's just me and my pride in my work that I've done. I'm steady. I am still here. That is got to be worth something... for someone... somewhere.

See? I told you. I go quiet on here because I am figuring stuff out.

Hey...funny story.

I was at a wake (that is not the funny part - but the wake was pretty jovial considering) and I was talking to people who have known me for at least 20 years...and always as "heavy" (a nice way of saying "fat" huh?).

Well.... wouldn't you know - one lady did not recognize me at all!! and her friend turned around and then patted my stomach in disbelief that I was so thin! LMAO!!! These ladies are all in the 70's, and honestly, look pretty good for their age...they said when I get to there age, I will probably look 40 because right now I look 20! LMAO!

THANKS Ladies!!! You made my day! I must be doing something right!

Anyway...I have Spark to thank for that....and my Sparkfriends over the years.

OK - back to the dungeon I go... Oh, the dungeon is my basement that I am reorganizing and cleaning up a bit. Cluttered house - cluttered mind!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DWEXCEL 5/10/2013 8:12AM

    Oh my Gosh Annie......You would be Perfect on the Spark Team!!!!! Somebody who has lived it, used it, done it, and you're already a great Friend to many and Motivator!!

What are you waiting for Girl!!!!! Send him your resume......don't wait for him to find you......!!!!!


Luv ya!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 5/8/2013 8:13AM

    I think you would be a great on the Spark Team. You write well and are an excellent motivator with your honesty and your humor. That was a lovely NSV from those ladies!
Good luck with your cleaning.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLISCIOUS 5/7/2013 9:02PM

    I think you would be an awesome asset to the SP Team!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BONOLICIOUS2 5/7/2013 4:29PM

    I am suchhhhh an ad snob on here. Some of them are so ridiculous! There are a few ways to block them if you want tehe.

Good luck with the basement!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 5/7/2013 4:27PM

    I lurk too. And I'm with you as a Spark-diet snob, I don't even like the WW ads, I see them and react the way you did about Sensa lol emoticon (my sis is on WW so my dislike for them is a bit personal)

Report Inappropriate Comment
KACEYSW 5/7/2013 3:21PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 Last Page