Wednesday, April 09, 2014
So I know I really should write about how I had a success with my emotional eating but this isn’t that time. Nope.
I do so well during the day at work – controlled environment – but once I get home, I binge. I know it’s the transition from work to home and the immediate change of different stressors. I can at least acknowledge that one. But what happens when I get home is I have a thought of food in my head and once that is acknowledged my hunger switch is turned on and the mind goes blank and before you know it I have consumed 700+ calories before dinner.
Either I have my 2 year old crying because he wants to be held or I am scolding my 10 year old for something he should have done or shouldn’t have done (boy the teen years with this one will be hard so I better control my eating now). Then I have to get the house clean because no one other than me can put dirty dishes in the dishwasher or clean off the table or counter or even pick up the living room. Nope, they must not know how to do that – I will have to teach them. I can get my 10 year old to help but not without attitude. I just don’t want to deal with it so I do it all myself.
Last night I had chili in the crock pot and just had to make mac and cheese for my 2 year old. While the water was boiling I had a slight food thought in my head; “Chocolate chip cookies sound good.” So with out even thinking about the consequences of eating cookies I had my 10 year old run to the store across the street for me. I made the dough and baked some cookies and half way though the cookies we had dinner and I was so stuffed that I just didn’t even want to eat the cookies or bake the cookies.
I think it was a moment of boredom waiting for the water to boil. I should have done something else to keep my mind occupied. I could have played with the kids, cleaned up, or watched Paw Patrol with my 2 year old until dinner was done. But what made last night even worse was that I was so stuffed and tired because of being stuffed that I didn’t even do my work out. Ugh – ok double ugh!
Then this AM I woke up and had DH lay with my 2 year old and when he went in the bedroom I ate cookies. No wait – 5 cookies!!!!! So I told myself no breakfast, track it & move on, go on 2 walks today and get a strength work out in.
My weight has defiantly shown it on the scale because of these bad habits. My issue is keeping my goals in mind when the urge to eat comes up. That darn mind just goes blank and something inside me takes over and I binge. Ok well more of overeat than binge as the eating was much worse months ago.
What do I Do???????