Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Another year gone…but somehow this year I am looking forward more than back. Today I am 56 years old, but I don’t feel “old”, even though a friend told me I am getting there. I usually spend my birthday thinking about all the things I haven’t done, living in the past and in regret. Not today.
It started yesterday, when I received an unexpected birthday card from a Spark Friend. It really made my day that she took the time to pick out a card and send it. I just spent a week with two dear Spark Friends (we met for the first time ‘in real life’ but we’ve been friends for almost 5 years). This weekend I’ll be spending time with more Spark Friends at Just a Short Run, which has become an annual Spark event. A number of us met at this race for the first time four years ago and I am really looking forward to seeing them once again. I am not able to participate in the race (due to a lingering bout of plantar fasciitis) but I will be at the finish line cheering them on. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without my Spark Friends.
I am happy at my job. I am working my Spark plan again, and have lost 18 pounds since the beginning of February. My Facebook page has been flooded with birthday wishes all day long, along with several invitations to get together soon. Life is pretty good. I walked around all day singing “Happy” in my head (see my last log for a link to the video).
I am thinking about the future. My daughter and I have a dream of opening a nonprofit in the next few years and we are slowing moving forward. Last year at this time I started the paperwork for incorporating. Yesterday I mailed a package to the IRS to start the process of becoming recognized as a charitable organization. I would never have had the courage to move forward with this plan five years ago.
Of course, life isn’t perfect. I miss my grandson in Florida (and his parents) more and more with each passing day. A friend woke up this morning and found that his wife had passed during the night. My dad’s Parkinson’s is getting much worse – he couldn’t hold the phone for more than a couple of minutes to talk to me today.
But overall life is good. My attitude about myself is positive, not negative. This is a real change for me and one that I am going to make sure continues.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
My boss had a death in the family and just returned from the funeral. She was telling us that her uncle wanted a celebration of his life and although you often hear that, this was the first time she attended a funeral that really was a celebration. In one room they were playing "Celebrate" and in the other room, they were playing "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. I had heard the song before but I decided to check out the video. I really enjoyed it and want to share it with you - it's just over 4 minutes long:
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
I have to come to terms with the fact that I am a food addict. I will never be able to eat "normally". I cannot eat treats in moderation. There are some foods I have to give up and never eat again if I am going to gain control of this beast.
According to Authority Nutrition, the signs of food addiction are:
1. You frequently get cravings for certain foods, despite feeling full and having just finished a nutritious meal.
2. When you give in and start eating a food you were craving, you often find yourself eating much more than you intended to.
3. When you eat a food you were craving, you sometimes eat to the point of feeling excessively “stuffed.”
4. You often feel guilty after eating particular foods, yet find yourself eating them again soon after.
5. You sometimes make excuses in your head about why you should eat something that you are craving.
6. You have repeatedly tried to quit eating or setting rules (includes cheat meals/days) about certain foods, but been unsuccessful.
7. You often hide your consumption of unhealthy foods from others.
8. You feel unable to control your consumption of unhealthy foods, despite knowing that they are causing you physical harm (includes weight gain).
They say if you relate to 4 or 5 you have a problem with food and if you relate to 6, you probably have a food addiction. I hit all 8 on a regular basis.
I know that sugar (and salt to a lesser degree) are triggers for me. I know from past experience that when I cut these out, I lose weight, gain energy, and generally feel better. I have to get past the feeling of "being deprived". I have to care enough about me to really take care of me.
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