Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Yesterday was a really bad food day for me. I got caught in 3 old traps: social eating, free food, and impending snow storm, which we ALL know could leave me trapped in my home for weeks at a time with no food, much less any good food.
I feel very frustrated this morning. For one thing, my weight is up ~ frustrated but not surprised about this one. For another, I feel that I should have moved past these issues a long time ago. Yes, we have a house guest for an unspecified amount of time. That should not be a signal to my brain that anything goes, especially since she seems to eat less than I do. And yes, I got 'free' food, meaning hubby bought me cheese curls on his way home. Having him pick me up something is not really that common, so I was touched by the thought, but why did it have to be a food item that I can't seem to put down? And yes, we had snow - again. But we've had many snowy days this season. Why did it hit me so hard yesterday, especially since we only got a few inches? And why does that cave-woman instinct still kick in, after all these years of living in an area that gets snow every year? I know I won't freeze to death, nor will I run out of food, or more importantly, toilet paper! So why do I feel a need to pack on the pounds for protection?
I wonder how long it's going to take before I stop falling into these old traps? I'm really not sure if I can accept the fact that I'm going to have to fight these cravings for the next 40+ years.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Ok, so I'm one week into the new challenge, and my weight is actually creeping up instead of down. So I've looked back at the last few weeks, and noticed that sugar has made a big-time comeback into my life. That is sort of disappointing after I did so well with the sugar-free challenge I set for myself a few months ago.
But I've also looked back and remembered the time and place of these sugar bombs... and most of the time, they were 'extra' food circumstances. A piece of cake at a friend's house, a few donut holes at church coffee hour, a extra coffee because I was out driving around with Ed and he got an extra large so we could share, and chocolates and cheesecake, because I was upset or depressed about circumstances in my life. Shall I mention the cookies or salted nuts?
I have to keep asking myself why this happens ~ why I have to keep learning the same lessons over and over? I've been with SP for over two years now, and some days it doesn't seem like I'm any further ahead. I learned how to look at my food labels, eat more freggies than I thought possible, and cabbage soup is now one of my favorite foods. But I feel that I should be further along than I am, and I know the biggest issue for me is emotional eating. Boredom, sadness, anger, happiness, depression... I do not know why putting food in my mouth makes me feel that I can handle these emotions better. I have been better at shooting the emotional rapids lately, looking at what I'm feeling and why, having a good cry. But I still feel I can handle it more smoothly if I've got something in my mouth. (And some days, I'm very thankful it's food I'm addicted to, not cigarettes or alcohol...)
Not to say that food isn't going to continue to be a fight for me. I'm not suddenly going to become to poster child for a sugar-free life. But I CAN wait until I'm hungry before I eat, and I can remember that it won't kill me to feel my stomach grumble. remember my manners and say "No, thank you, I'm not hungry now". I might have to practice that a million times before it sounds natural coming out of my mouth, but it will eventually sound real. And maybe it will eventually become second nature, like reading labels or planning my food at the beginning of the day so I don't fall short of one of the food groups, or end up eating out because nothing is defrosted.
So here's to faking it until I'm making it... No, thanks, I'm not hungry right now!!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Just finished the Good Belly Reboot challenge. Not that I have a lot wrong with my digestive system ~ just wondered if I'd learn anything new. And I did, because there were a lot of articles I was directed to along the way. But the most important thing I learned is that the ONLY time I have tummy troubles is when I eat too much...
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Ok, I finally did the goal-setting worksheets. Can't say they were a lot of fun, but they did make me think...
My goal for this challenge is to lose 8 pounds. Doesn't sound like a lot, but considering how long I've been losing and regaining the same five pounds, I know it will take some work, some different ideas and inspiration.
So, my goal is realistic, at a pound a week. And my reasons are that I want to live a long, healthy life. Also, less weight would mean less pain in my knees and more mobility. In order to achieve this goal, I will continue to baby steps I've been doing the last month of eating cleaner and cutting carbs from on meal a day. That takes more planning than I'm used to, but it is do-able. I also am going to get back into the gym more often. Yes, I can work out at home, but it's not the same intensity as using the machines at the gym. And I will be doing what Jillian Michaels calls 'inspirational exercise', which means to do some sort of movement when I'm inspirited, like in the middle of reading about someone else's success, or dancing during TV commercials. The point is to not wait until the RIGHT time to exercise, but to sneak more movement into my day.
My reward for this goal is going to be a pedicure, something I have problems doing myself due to my knees not bending.
Here's to a challenging yet do-able session with the Biggest Losers!!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Four out of seven doesn't sound like much ~ it's barely half of what I had hoped to accomplish...
Started a new journal this year, and it has a space for weekly notes. So I decided to set a weekly goal for myself throughout the entire year. And last week's goal was to declutter one thing out of every room in my house for an entire week. Well, I made it four out of seven days.
I can look at this as having failed for 3 days... even though I did declutter those days, it wasn't from every room in the house. OR, I can look at it as getting more than half-way through my goal, AND I got more than 20 things to toss or pass along.
This week's goal will be do to yoga or stretching for 10 minutes each day. That is pushing myself a bit, but not enough to hurt anything. And while yoga won't get my house any cleaner, it is good for my body. Maybe I'll even meditate while I stretch out these tendons!
So the lesson here is a goal is just that: something to strive for, not the end all of my life. And it will be interesting to see what other goals I come up with during the year.
It's 'shaping up' to be a fun way to grow and learn!! LOL
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