Monday, April 22, 2013
Well, it has been awhile since I have spent much time on SP. I am still plugging away at my goals. Happy to say that I have not quit and I am not having a "do-over". I am still going at it slowly but surely.
April has been a tough month. I got sick at the beginning of the month and my workout streak came to a hault. I did get one or two in here or there but for the most part, the consistancy I had in March was sidelined. Usually I would have had the attitude "What's the point?" and just quit. Not this time. I just worked in a workout when I could. So, there is a small victory for me.
At work we had our state testing and my final evaluation. Two weeks of MAJOR stress. I did not sleep much, I had 5 serious migraines in that time and woke up teaching in my sleep several times...Glad to say it was all over Friday.
What does this chick do to relax after so much stress? We take 8 kids camping for the weekend. LOL yes, you read that right. 8. Each of my children were allowed to bring a friend. The weather was perfect and the kids were pretty well behaved. All in all it was a great time. Not relaxing, but fun.
Today we had a random day off. I worked out and then went to lunch with a friend I have not seen in a long time. I ate more than I should have but I don't do that too often so I guess I won't beat myself up about it.
I am going to keep plugging away at my goals. The next 6 weeks are going to be very busy so I have resided to just keep doing the best I can do. I will eat as well as I can and I will get in a workout everytime I can. I will check in more often. I should be sleeping better since there will be less pressure on me at work.
Thanks to all of you for your encouragement. (I just checked my spark page for the first time in weeks). I really feel like SP, my friends, and all the comments and the encouragement is the reason I was able to keep going and did not quit this time. I have felt bad for not following through with some of the challenges and for falling short of some of the goals I have set for myself and for not checking in with my spark friends, but it is becuase of you guys, I just pick myself back up and keep going.
Oh, and even though that stupid scale is still not moving, I was able to button a pair of jeans that I could not at the beginning of the year!
Sunday, March 31, 2013
You are not a friend to me.
A friend is supportive, encouraging.
You have manner in which you dictate to me my moods, my feelings of self-worth.
How I start my day depends on what you say to me.
How I feel about myself depends on what you say to me.
I am always judging myself according to what you do, what you say.
If I watched this relationship between two others, I would say that it was unhealty. I would encourage counseling or a split. "Go your separate ways" I would encourage. This relationship is not good for you, nor is it healthy. You deserve so much better.
Why would anyone let themselves be treated this way? This is the question I am asking myself. Why would I (we) give so much power to another? Especially the scale...
I know tomorrow, the scale will not be a friend to me, despite how hard I have worked over the last two weeks. I know because I have an unhealthy relationship with it. I step on it every single morning and sometimes everytime I walk into the bathroom. Regardless, it never seems to move. Did I drink too much water? not enough? Did I eat the wrong things? Was it that little smidge of cake? Did I eat 3 extra carrots? Did I do too much weight training? Is the darn thing defective? Heck, maybe gravity is just really strong in that particular spot in my bathroom. I don't know. The darn thing NEVER EVER moves.
And yet, I would NEVER let another person treat me this way. Push me around. Be the cause of how I feel and how I judge myself. Cause me to question everything I do...
I know that my hard work has paid off. I have seen progress.
I give myself a happy face sticker on the calendar everytime I workout. I have 2 weeks of happy faces smiling back at me . PROGRESS.
I have been eating healthy meals. PROGRESS.
I have been feeling better. PROGRESS.
I was able to ride my bike this weekend without much struggle and get up some pretty big hills too. PROGRESS.
I didn't nap my way through spring break because I was so tired I had too. (I took 2 naps, because I wanted to b/c I was on break). PROGRESS.
My children are making changes. Progress.
I have more energy! I feel great! I see some definition in my muscles! PROGRESS! PROGRESS! PROGRESS!
Wait a minute...
The truth... I know that I am beautifully and wonderfully made, unique, with my own special gifts. And so are each and every one of you.
The scale does not measure our purpose, our possibility, our potential. The scale cannot possibly reflect our ability to love or to be compassionate. The scale cannot measure our beauty (inside and out). It doesn't come close to measuring how we have touched a life. And friends, it is high time we stop letting it!
So, for awhile, that little bugger will be banished from my life. I will measure my progress other ways. I even humbled myself to have hubby dearest take my measurements. To my surprise, they were very much the same as they were in 2010). And, as hard as it will be, I will not step on that scale for at least 2 more weeks. Not when it tells me I should, but when I say I will.
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