Sunday, February 23, 2014
Actually, in the overall scheme of things, I'm doing well. I am keeping my calories within range and, many days I'm on the low end! Proud of that! And, I've even done it on days when we've gone out to eat. YAY for me. I am very consistent with my exercise. Rarely miss a day and have increased number of reps for each exercise and have added a couple of new exercises. YAY for me again. I am tracking everything and weighing/measuring.
Still using "proactive" as my word. My enthusiasm, however, has waned a bit. I'm not surprised. Nobody can maintain that enthusiasm and energy day in and day out. I continue to make myself do some of those "extra" chores/jobs and, obviously, I am pushing myself in the food and exercise areas. The enthusiasm will return and that will make it so much easier. It's just a matter of staying on track until that excitement returns.
I feel better! I look better (I think)! I seem to have more energy. All good things. However, I have not lost any weight. Not an ounce and I have been at this since January 6th! What is up with this?? I know I shouldn't focus on that number. I have lost some inches (not in my lower sized jeans yet). I don't think I have gained that much muscle. Why will that stupid scale not move? It's like having all of your colleagues compliment you on a job well done while one does not or says something negative. You focus on that one negative instead of all the positives. That's how I feel about the scale. It just sits in my bathroom taunting me, daring me to get on. I try to resist; I get on---well, I can almost hear it laughing at me. I often curse!!! So frustrating!!
I'm trying really hard to stay positive. Focus on those positives; try to ignore the negative. I think this is part of my waning enthusiasm. If I would just lose one stinkin' pound, I would be on cloud nine!
Sunday, February 02, 2014
It's been a busy, birthday weekend! My daughter's birthday was yesterday and her husband sent her shopping so I went along. It was fun! Like the days when she was young. Lots of laughs and chatter. Then hubby and I went to dinner the family for her big day. Today is Connor's 4th birthday (yes, she was in labor on her birthday having him!) Party is at 1:00 with pizza, cake and lots of fun with the family. Son and daughter in law will be there, too. I love it when we're all together!
This has been a pretty good week for me. Stayed in calorie range every day (yes, even yesterday!). And most days I was at the low end!! WooHoo!! Exercise? I missed one day. But, I have still not lost a single pound since January 6 when I started. However, I did lose ONE inch around my waist, half inch off hips and half inch off thighs!! I am psyched about that!!
Feel better, starting to look better. Guess I'll go eat some birthday cake.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
And I've done a pretty good job at following through with that mindset. (Except, maybe with blogging ) Last week I hit a bit of a slump with exercise but fought my way through it. I even worked out in the late afternoon since I hadn't in the morning. Typically, if I don't work out in the morning, it just doesn't get done. So I'm proud of that achievement! Tracking all of my food and staying in range--I need more days in low range instead of the higher end of the range. But, I'm now aware of this and can only imagine how many calories I was eating before I started PROACTIVE plan! Not a pretty thought; hence, here I am!!!!
I'm getting a lot of little jobs done around the house. Amazing even myself. I just keep pushing and repeating my word. I had one day when I just couldn't do it--so I didn't and I accepted no guilt for that one day. I needed it and got right back to plan the next day.
Even with all the positive, I still feel a little out of balance. I want to focus on proactive; getting this accomplished; eat healthy; exercise; feel healthy and energetic. That is all happening but.........I still worry about the scale. Since January 6 when I started this plan, I have lost nothing. Not one pound!!! I get so frustrated!!!! I pray and try to remember that I'm not about losing weight and if I keep my focus the weight will come off. I think in the back of my head, I still hear that little voice telling me I can't lose weight; I've never lost weight before without Jenny Craig plan. It doesn't matter what I do or eat, I can not lose weight on my own. I fight this little voice every day. My husband continues to reassure me that if I stay on track the weight will come off. And, if not, I will feel better, look better, and be healthier with more energy. I love him!
So that voice is my nemesis right now. Fighting that voice; ignoring that voice; talking back to that voice, etc.
I have also gone through a couple of obsessive days of trying to figure out how many calories I need to lose some weight. SP calculator confuses me. I seem to be giving them a date--I don't have a date. I just want to lose weight. I have to tell them how much. I don't have a set number. I just want to lose weight. I've been to a number of sites and have been given a range of minimum calories to lose weight---1300, 1800, 1500, 1200. Of course, I like the idea of 1800 but I bet I don't lose weight with that! LOL!! Anybody have an easy calculation I could use. I've read you have to decrease calorie intake by so many; taking into account output with activities and exercise. I just don't get it. If you can help, I'd be grateful!!
This has nothing to do with this blog but I wanted to remember my dad today. He passed away 2 years ago today and I miss him so much!! I just wanted to share that he was a wonderful man and a great dad!!!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Geez! Haven't written for awhile but things have been bouncing around in my head. I finished that book from my last blog. I learned a number of interesting things that I can use but nothing that really "struck" me as being me. Interesting enough that I finished the book.
A couple of things keep "rattling" around in my head. One of my Spark friends posted a blog asking people to post the word that they will pursue this year instead of a resolution. Immediately I thought of "consistency". Umm, not quite but close. Thought about what I think my issues are; what frustrates me in my life: I see things in the house that I need/want to do. I put them on a list and do nothing. Soon, I'm feeling totally stressed because that "to do" list is so long and I'm not getting any of those things accomplished. WaaWaa! Poor me. Duh..... many of these tasks will take 5-30 minutes at most but I find a number of ways to procrastinate!! So maybe my word isn't "consistency". What is the opposite of "procrastinate"? Well, one word is "proactive". YES!!!! That's my word. That needs to be my focus and goal this year. I need to be PROACTIVE in all things. If something needs to be done and it is a minor job.....DO IT!! Do it right then!
Same thing with the exercise (which I see as my weak link). I think about it; I make my rotations and times but then don't follow through. I "worry" that I should be doing something else or more or less. Instead, I just need to DO IT. Food? Think about it! Do I really want/need to eat that? Again, be proactive, Beth!!! Make a conscious decision!
Write a blog? Stop mulling it over and thinking you need to do it. Just write what you need to.
So, that's where I've been the last week or so. Realizing that I need to be PROACTIVE. I have completed a number of little tasks that have been hanging around. I have tracked food all week. I have made better food decisions. I have exercised 5 out of 7 days. I have also realized that I need to rely more on God (Higher Power, if you choose) to help me make these decisions.
I have a long road. To be honest, I 've never lost more than 5 or so pounds without being on Jenny Craig plan. I lost 30. I am apprehensive that I can lose 20 "on my own". But, I will be PROACTIVE. I am optimistic and hopeful.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
This blog is not going to really be about me specifically and my day to day issues. I am at my all time highest weight. Had no idea my scale went that high! I've never had a fat butt -- I mean NEVER -- until now. I'm in the largest size I've ever worn. I'm not asking for sympathy or pity or whatever. I'm just stating the facts as they are today. I have, obviously, totally fallen off the wagon (and then some). Eating too much and not healthy enough. Absolutely no exercise of any kind--why, I'm too busy with Christmas, don't ya know??? Yeah, this is all my fault. I take full responsibility.
But, here's what this is really about. I've started reading Marianne Williamson's "A Course in Weight Loss--21 spiritual lessons for surrendering your weight forever". Now, I will admit I'm not quite halfway through this book so I'm definitely not an expert. But, this book has raised some questions for me and I'd love your thoughts and insights.
Her theory is the reason we don't lose the weight or it keeps returning is that we haven't really healed what our issues are. Now, I know I carry a lot of baggage (as do most, dare I say all of us do). But, I've never really thought this impacted my weight. Now, I see it in my son--low self-esteem, etc. But, I don't think that's me. I think I don't like to exercise and I do like to eat. Could there really be more to this weight issue than that? Could it be a matter of soul searching and healing some of those old demons before you allow yourself (she talks about asking God to help us break through) to lose the weight forever?
I am a Christian. I am a "non-practicing" Catholic. So I'm not offended or put off by this theory. I've gone to counseling for some issues. I try to be honest with myself and work through the things that bother me or make me less than I would like to be. But, I've never felt like my negative feelings, old baggage, old perceptions were holding me back. I thought it was simple--like I said; I don't like to exercise and I do like to eat.
Could I be doing this to punish myself? Down deep I don't think I deserve to lose weight? I don't lose weight because it's protecting me from ???? what, I don't know.
Has anyone else read this book? I would love some input, insight, thoughts.
Get An Email Alert Each Time BETHGILLIGAN Posts