BLACKROSE_222   69,184
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BLACKROSE_222's Recent Blog Entries

Clinical Depression and Anxiety Disorder

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Those are some scary words to hear. I have been diagnosed, and know it is largely due to my work (plus some added points from my Family). I'm attempting to get through right now without medication, but that might be coming here soon. I've called in sick for the last 2 days, and am going to the doctors this afternoon to get a note so I can take the rest of the week off - to try to catch up on some sleep if nothing else.

Hubbie has been extremely supportive, and has even started the discussion on whether I need to take a leave of absence. That might be coming next - but we have a friend coming to stay with us for 3 weeks at the end of the month, so not the best time to be testing a leave off of work. So I'm going to go back on Monday and then work until the friend leaves - and see how that goes. if nothing has gotten any better, then I'll be either taking a leave, or just quitting.

Hard day. Hard words. Time to put some good habits to use and hit the gym to workout frustration. Might as well do something with my day off, just for me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNINGWILD 10/22/2014 12:01AM

    Come running with us!


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THETURTLEBEAR 10/21/2014 10:15PM


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JAXMOMMY 10/21/2014 6:20PM

    A dianosis means plans of action. If things at work are so bad that they are causing or at least contributing to the 2 diagnoses, then it may be time to quit. A job should enhance your life, not take away joy!! Sending positive vibes! Do what it takes to stay healthy!! Emotionally and physically as you really cannot have 1 without the other!

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/21/2014 3:13PM

    I'm so sorry - please take care of yourself!

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KCSMOM9 10/21/2014 3:02PM

    Take care of yourself! emoticon

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JSPIN74 10/21/2014 2:47PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/21/2014 2:17PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope things improve for you soon. emoticon

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CIPHER1971 10/21/2014 2:00PM

    With a diagnosis, you at least have a plan, sending good vibes your way,

Have a good rest

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JTREMBATH 10/21/2014 1:53PM

    Hope you can beat this it will take time emoticon

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Morning Gym is Dead to me

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I'm having a funeral. Seriously, I've been setting my alarm for 4am for almost a year. 2 years ago I got up 99% of the time, and now I think I can count on one hand how many times I got up in that year! I have become an un-morning workout person.

And that is ok. I've realized that this just means that I need to be more flexible with my schedule in the afternoon/evenings - and I get er done.

So, goodbye morning gym. I am the night. I am Evening gym girl.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN633 10/20/2014 7:18AM

    Great Attitude

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    Some of us will NEVER be morning joes! emoticon

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CIPHER1971 10/18/2014 6:39PM

    I like that you are moving with what works for you emoticon

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IDICEM 10/18/2014 2:23PM

  If it works for you, do it! emoticon

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KCSMOM9 10/18/2014 1:28PM

    You know what works for you. emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/18/2014 12:48PM

    You gave it a try and it didn't work long term. Change can be good. I hope this change is the right one for you.

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JERICHO1991 10/18/2014 12:32PM

    Whatever works. Getting the exercise in is what counts.

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LOSE4LIFE47 10/18/2014 12:32PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BLC 26 - Mini Goals

Monday, September 15, 2014

Hi all -

I'm not going to do the fancy goals this time, because I want to try something new. (I'll be updating my sparkpage tonight, I think - add some of the World Cup pictures).

Mini goal 1 - Admit to myself that my current lifestyle isn't working, and I can make the changes I need to.

I have gained back all the weight I've lost, and I need to realize that I'm the only person who is capable of making the changes that are needed to get back to where I want to be. This is a serious commitment, and a goal I have is to remember it - not give in to temporary temptations when I REALLY do need and want to do this.

Mini goal 2 - Daily Baked goods, be gone. Make a plan for these.

Where the hell did this one come from? Jenn, you rarely liked baked goods - it was one of the things that didn't need tweeking before. Now, you are eating cookies and donuts, and you don't even know why. Every time you think of having one, I want you to remember your BEFORE pictures for BLC 26 - and why you are making this choice. At the very least, have a back up plan in the car/back pack/house for this temptations. An apple a day keeps the cookie away. emoticon

Mini goal 3 - Freggie streak gets priority.

You joined the streak for a reason - you don't really have problems with the Fitness one (albeit, you need to be running more and on the bike less - but that isn't measurable). But the Freggie one gets priority, because you DO have a problem. Every time you reach for something at the office or on a menu - remember the streak and what you can do to help it along.

Mini goal 4 - Tracking Honestly.

You always do the best when you are tracking, and when you are tracking honestly. This means evenings count as well as breakfast/lunch. You don't need to count calories, but at least acknowledge and track what you are eating for the remainder of BLC 26. Get back on track and on a purpose.

Mini goal 5 - Strength Training.

While fitness isn't a problem, you getting your ST is and always has been an issue. Time to take charge of that problem again. 2X a week, minimum. No excuses.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTCHELLE75 9/20/2014 10:51AM

    I think these are very good and doable goals. Great job

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DRAGONBRAU 9/20/2014 10:29AM

    Great goals!!!! I really agree with tracking, when I am tracking fully and honestly, I tend to ask myself "do I really need this"

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MICYWALTON 9/19/2014 4:27PM

    Your goals look great! Totally doable! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CIPHER1971 9/15/2014 3:59PM

    Great goals that will give you good results in 12 weeks.

Have a great round

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    Great goals!! I am starting over too. We can do it!

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MADZEEE 9/15/2014 3:38PM

    Nice batch of mini goals there. Inspires me to come up with 5 mini goals of my own. Thanks.

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Goal Setting - BLC Round 24

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Goal Setting

Goals are put down in writing
If it’s not written down and recorded, it’s not a goal; it’s a wish or a dream. Although wishes and dreams are nice, they usually don’t come true without a written plan of action.

My Goal:
I need to start slowly doing things for myself again. This week I have given myself a goal to just do something for me that takes 15 minutes (I've done it 2 days in a row now). I also wish to state a goal of losing 10lbs on BLC challenge. I am aiming high, as I have no free time to myself right now (work, hospital for my mom, work, sleep, repeat), but I'll see where I can get with diet alone.

Goals are Specific and Measureable
Toning up, bulking up, and getting healthier are vague notions, not goals. Losing 4 lbs of fat, building 4 lbs of muscle, and dropping your cholesterol by 40 points are goals. If you can’t measure it or be specific about what it is that you want, it’s not a goal.

My Smart Goal:
Do some strength training twice a week. Do cardio 5x a week... even if it is just a walk. Bring BF percentage down 2%

My SMARTS Goal: why do you want it? Ask yourself the “5 Why’s”
1. Because I want to be the Healthiest me I can be.
2. Because I enjoy doing things for myself.
3. Because I've done it before and I know I can do it again.
4. Because I'm worth it.
5. Because one day it will matter.

Table 1: Assessing “reasonable progress”
Fat Loss
Muscle Gain
0.5 to 1% body fat every 2 – 4 weeks
1 to 2 lbs. of lean mass every 2 – 4 weeks
0.5% body fat every 4 weeks
1 lb. of lean mass every 4 weeks
Less than 0.5% body fat in 4 weeks
Less than 1 lb of lean mass in 4 weeks

Outcome goal: You can’t directly control the accomplishment of this type of goal. It’s the end result of a series of other things you have to do. This is the smart goal
Example: I want to lose 10 lbs. in 10 weeks

Behavior goals: You can directly control this type of goal; it’s an action you can choose to do every day.
Example: I will eat vegetables and or fruits at each meal for the next 10 weeks
Example: I will miss no more than 10% of my scheduled exercise sessions for the next 10 weeks
Example: I will exercise 5 hours per week for the next 10 weeks

Behavior goal 1: I will eat vegetables and or fruits at each meal for the next 10 weeks

Behavior goal 2:
I will do some strength training twice a week for the next 10 weeks.

Behavior goal 3: Every single day I will do something for me - even if it is only 15 minutes.

More Strategies for Successfully Achieving SMART Goals:
Spread the word – who will you tell? My husband.

Be accountable to at least 1 other person – who is your “accountabili-buddy(s)”? My Spark team members and my husband.

Set up a reward system – what will you get if you do your behavior goals? What will you do if you don’t do your behavior goals?

Example: If I miss no more than 10% of my scheduled exercise sessions for the next 10 weeks I will give myself $100 to buy a new workout outfit. If I don’t, I will donate that $100 to charity.
What is your reward system? My reward at the end of the 10 weeks will be a spa day. I've never had one, and I don't know if I like it - but I intend to find out.

Commit to less –
Our natural tendency is to OVERPROMISE and UNDER DELIVER. Do the opposite.

Consider every promise you’re about to make to yourself a rough, first draft. Before truly committing, ask yourself, “On a scale of 1-10, how confident am I that I could do this every day for the next 30 days?” If your gut reaction is anything other than “9″ or “10″, find a way to make that promise smaller or easier.
Examples: turn “I’ll cut out sugar every day” into:

“I’ll stop eating each meal when I’m 80% full.”
Eat what you’re already eating, just slightly less.

OR: “I’ll eat one (more) home-made meal a day.”
Focus on mindfully creating a single meal.

OR: “I’ll eat one big salad a day.”
Focus on eating one more well-chosen meal, even if you have to buy it. Even fast food chains have salads with chicken these days.

Often this is both a humbling and liberating experience for people.

It’s humbling, because we often kid ourselves into thinking we can do much more than we actually can. (And that’s both normal and entirely okay.)
It’s liberating, because when we realize that the only way to make a big change is to make a series of small ones like these, “consistency” and all that it brings finally become possible.

The question most people have is here, though, is: will that actually work? Will such small changes actually do anything?

The answer is yes, when done in sequence. Once the first one is done, the second one is even easier, and so on. It’s amazing how powerful “making things easier” actually is.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NITTINNANA 1/19/2014 8:29PM

    Great goals, Jenn! Go for that spa day; it sounds like fun!

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SHANTODD420 1/17/2014 7:41PM

    Those are some great goals Jenn good luck and hope you can find some free time.


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MALAMI518 1/17/2014 3:54PM

    Great goals, Jenn! I hope that you can find time for yourself again. You definitely deserve it!


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    Great template. I need to do this. I am stealing it too. LOL.

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THETURTLEBEAR 1/16/2014 2:56PM

    Nice one!

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RUNNINGWILD 1/16/2014 1:54PM

    stealing this template ;)

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24/7/365 - Blog

Friday, November 08, 2013

Hi all, I have not been doing too well these days. My mind has been on everything except myself, and I have just not been 'with it'. Even the good habits I've been keeping up the last year have started to slide. In short, I think I'm just... done.

I'm struggling with keeping afloat in a life full of other people's problems and they are starting to cause depression and anxiety. I'm so tired and don't know what else to do with myself.

But the catch is to start focusing on myself. And keep focusing on myself - I'm worth it, I deserve it, and others can handle their own lives without me.

This week's challenge with the BLC is a bit of a hodge-podge - but I am actually quite excited about the hodge-podge, since I need help with... well, EVERYTHING. LOL.

Some of the things that I'll be keeping track of are: Fitness each day, Tracking my food each day, Making a plan for 1 weeks worth of snacks, 3 goals to achieve, and taking the time to walk 6 flights of stairs each day... plus visiting my fellow BLCers to say GREAT WORK!

So in this blog I'm composing, i'm going to add my 3 goals to achieve this weekend, and 1 week worth of snack plan:

This one is actually the easy one, as I tend to stick to the same snack - Raisin Bran (still love my Raisin Bran) with Skim Milk. I usually pay attention to my body and if it says I'm hungry, I eat it. But in this case, I need to make sure that my calories are still within goal - so I need to keep track of whether I DO need it or not. So, can do. I would also like to start drinking more V8 as a snack, since I really do find it a quick way to get some veggies in, and I do like it... just never think about it. I'll also make sure to cut up some fruit and have it ready in the fridge.

3 MINI GOALS for this weekend!

1. Get your 60 minutes of Fitness in EACH day this weekend. Minimum - Jenn you used to have to force yourself to stop after 180 minutes on the weekend... now you can barely get out of bed. Get yourself back into it, before you get completely out of it.

2. Get your Freggies in. You have been eating within calories, but not working out - and then also not getting those Freggies in. So, each day - ensure you have what you need to get 5-7 in. And Track em!

3. Strength Training - get it in each day, at least 30 minutes. Even if it is stretching - you have gotten out of this, and that is not acceptable. Get back into it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PARASELENIC 11/12/2013 12:01PM

    Your snack attack is very sensible! One of the ways that I ensure that my snack attacks are almost always tracked is that I invest in a cheap digital scale and baggies, lots of em. Whenever I go grocery shopping, I always partition my cereal/pretzels/ snacky things into single serving baggies (not my f/v, just the processed, higher calorie foods). It makes hunger that much more manageable, so that when I'm peck-ish, I just grab one baggie-- it has a finite amount, is easy to track, and makes over eating more mindful (I have to grab another baggie, open it, etc.)

How did you do on your goals?

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JJ4493 11/10/2013 11:36PM

    emoticon realizing that you have to come first! It's so easy to take care of others and make ourselves take a backseat to life. It looks as if your goals have you heading in the right direction. One day at a time!

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PEGGYO 11/10/2013 1:13PM

    good goals

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SHANTODD420 11/9/2013 11:27AM

    Those are great goals Jenn and you can do it. Take it one day at a time and one step at a time. Have a great weekend.


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CHOCOHOLIC2276 11/9/2013 8:00AM

    You can do it Jenn!! I know you've been dealing with a lot of things but you also have to take care of yourself. The whole put on your oxygen mask in order to help others with theirs analogy.

You've set some great goals, start working your way back- you've got this!! Also note that you are still trying and THAT is emoticon emoticon

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    Ohh honey, this has been a really tough year for you! Big hugs! This a great weekend plan, allow yourself this!

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CIPHER1971 11/8/2013 4:09PM

    Good attainable goals emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 11/8/2013 12:52PM

    I agree, Life provides too many distractions. Don't get discouraged. Focus on your goals. emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/8/2013 3:39:30 PM

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LJCANNON 11/8/2013 10:48AM

    emoticon The Key is catching the Bad Habits before they become Strong again. You know what to do, and you have the Plan in Place. It is NOT "Selfish" to make Your Needs First on your Priority List. Everyone from Firemen to Flight Attendants to First Responders are Trained to Take Care of Themselves FIRST in an Emergency Situation so that they are ABLE to take care of Others.

emoticon You've Got This!!

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