Friday, August 15, 2014
Today's Sparkcoach lesson was about Diet Saboteurs; those people in your life who are less than supportive of your healthy efforts for various reasons. This is a hard one for me, because I have one who is very close in my life and one who is 'out there', but distant enough that it's pretty easy to develop a strategy ahead of time, then stick to it.
I'm supposed to blog about identifying Saboteurs and my plan for dealing with them. Over the years, I think I have developed pretty good strategies for dealing with Saboteurs on most levels. There's only one aspect I need to work on, and that's more to do with me than them.
First - identifying. Using the information from today's lesson, the close person is definitely a "conscious" Saboteur (jealous of my motivation, afraid if I'm successful, they will lose me). The far away person is more unconscious (tries to be a good host; loves people with food).
I've tried many strategies with the close one. Staying away from this person completely is not an option at the moment, though overall, I do try to limit contact. I am consistent in my responses to food pushing. This always results in more pushing, and responses like, "Great, so what you're making for dinner is poison for the rest of us, and you're not going to eat it." It's not possible to 'get this person on my side' because we have fundamental differences in our thinking. I have attempted to find things that we can do together, but that has ended up blowing up in my face because then I have to listen to excessive complaining and the whole experience becomes some weird competition on an unhealthy/not fun level. I've tried finding things we could do together that don't involve food, but frankly, the less time I spend with this person - the better. The toxic thinking is not my responsibility to fix, and it is so concentrated that it ends up tainting the beautiful crystal clear pool of positive thought that I've worked so hard to create and maintain. I can (and do) act graciously whenever possible and make great effort to compliment them in front of others.
So - here's my strategy going forward. Keep my mouth shut, and continue to lead by example. When I am questioned, or grilled, or challenged as to why I'm doing something (going for a walk, eating baby carrots for a snack instead of chips, passing on the bread at dinner, following through on my scheduled exercise), I will smile and say, "It's my choice." and leave it at that. Many times, if I say anything more or respond defensively, I am treated to a litany of 'education' as to why whatever I'm doing is completely against this person's strongly held beliefs of what I 'should' be doing. No thanks. Or, I get a sort of guilt trip, "Must be nice to have time to do whatever you want, whenever you want to." A short response (so as not to completely ignore) is best. The Bible warns over and over against arguing with/indulging Fools. I'm going to take that advice.
In terms of dinner. I am responsible for the menu. I try to accommodate everyone's pickiness and make sure that there is at least one item that will appeal to most everyone. I will continue this strategy because it mostly works. I make healthy meals that include vegetables and/or fruit. And, I want to set a good example for others in my family as to portion size and healthy variety. So, when I am under interrogation about my passing on the bread, I will smile and say, "It's my dinner, and it's my choice."
The part I need to work on is the stress that builds up after multiple ongoing instances of these toxic interactions. Sometimes I just want to run away screaming and hop on a plane to some remote island where they serve ice cold (healthy) fruity drinks with festive umbrellas. It has helped me greatly as of late to be consistent with Sparkcoach and Sparkpeople over all. I also need to just pray more, in the moment.
I can not fix the crazy in other people's heads. All I can do is let it be, work around it when I'm able, and continue on my present course.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Today's Sparkcoach session was about defining your vision. Sparkguy didn't use those words, but that's what popped into my mind.
I've got exactly two minutes or I won't have time for Yoga before my shower, waking the kids up, and rushing off to the last 50 cent movie (Peabody and Sherman) of the summer.
I type fast, so I can do this.
Here's what I hope to achieve by reaching my goals:
- I want to feel as if a small chunk of my daily life is MINE
- I strive to have lots of energy to keep up with my young kids
- I want to be a healthy role model for them, and the two Girl Scout troops I lead
- I want to feel fit and have confidence to try daring, new things
- BALANCE in my life
- I want to go to the store to try on clothes without having to have a camouflage strategy (hide the flabby arms, look for vertical stripes or black because they're more slimming). And ultimately, leave the store happy rather than empty handed and disgusted because nothing looked good on me
Monday, August 04, 2014
Sheesh. The last time I posted anything beyond a status was in January. That's bad.
I'm on a roll with Sparkcoach, though. I started taking notes on the sessions. That seems to help me pay attention/remember/internalize the information better. Otherwise, I have a tendency to let the video run in the background and then go check my e-mail. What's the point in that?
So, today's program session was about exercise excuses. I'm supposed to list my main excuses and what I will counter them with the next time they come up. Here they are:
E: I exercised yesterday and today my "fill in the blank with a body part" is sore
C: So, we're still going to work out, just not that part.
E: Don't have time.
C: You're creative. Just 10 minutes. Make it count.
E: Don't feel like it.
C: Feel less, do more.
E: Seems like an uphill battle, I'm not seeing results here. WAAAAHHHHH....
C: Shut up. You know you're not a cry baby. That's just dumb. Think less, do more.
That's all I can think of for now.
Friday, January 17, 2014
I got the letter in the mail today. The one from my husband's employer, informing me of how lucky I am to have the great opportunity to improve my health by working with the care management team this year to set some goals. My "health issue" listed on the letter? WEIGHT.
Thanks, yeah - I knew that. Now, there will be a financial consequence for failing to meet my goals. Somehow...I'm not feeling so 'lucky'.
Nevertheless - I shall press on.
Monday, December 30, 2013
I need one more point for a bonus spin on the Sparkpoints wheel. So, I'm posting this blog. Lazy, I know. Tomorrow's will be better.
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