 
 
 
Again...Tuesday, December 15, 2009
LAst night i woke up at 330 am and couldnt sleep for 2 hrs. I tossed and turned..and like most women I know..a million thoughts roll thru your head when your trying to go to sleep. Your agenda for the next day, your to do lists, errands, cleaning, bills, husbands, kids, xmas plans, etc etc. Not very relaxing! Well in them thoughts was the usual "ok tomorrow im going to do good with eating and exercising" pep talk, same as every day....but then like the last month or so, i end up blowing it and give up till the next day. well last night i stopped thinking about my short term goals and remembered a long term one. Well...it WAS a long term 1 when I had made it..but now..its here..and i realized i had just wasted all this time and have gotten no where! My plan was to start thinking about having another baby when Morgan was 1.5-2yrs old....and i wanted...make that NEEDED...to lose ALOT of weight b4 I wanted to tempt fate again and deliver a healthy baby when I myself am not so healthy! I lucked out last time with morgan being perfect...but the pregnancy was long, tough, I had a scare with diabetes, a long recovery, csection, and now added weight in the stomach area that just wont budge...so it seems like a death wish to try and have another baby in this condition! 
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MAXBALLARD
12/16/2009 2:58PM
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You have some great motivations (health, future baby, husband, daughter) to get you through the tough days. You are so blessed to have one child and time to ensure another or more. I wasn't so fortunate - I squandered away my health and missed my chance to have biological children. Don't repeat my mistake! Keep your eye on your goal and reach it by living each day, one healthy day at a time. The fact that you keep Sparking tells me you are still in the game. You can do this. You have a big team of Sparkers cheering you on. |
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KIKI25GRACE
12/15/2009 4:29PM
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So what have YOU done today to make you feel proud? I'm proud of you Brandy and I'm right there with you on the baby thing. As we all know I've been wanting to have a baby FOREVER but my body is not cooperating. I think it's telling me to get off my bootay and get moving before it'll allow me to carry a child. So I'm with you on the lose the weight to get the kid thing. :-) |
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VERGE_OF_ME
12/15/2009 1:11PM
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(((HUGS))) I'm with you every step of the way! 
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JACBUTTER
12/15/2009 11:46AM
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You can do this! Having well defined goals is a good place to start, and will help keep you motivated. Also remember, you don't do this all at once, you do this one day at a time. 
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Week 7
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Yes Im late on blogging. Wanna know why? Im sure you can guess...When I have good news im right on the bulb..eager to share the news. When I fail...I go into hiding. Well lets just say this week was one hell of a major failure. Ever since the hospital with Morgan I feel WAYYY off track. Eating started to slide and laziness sunk in. Then with Thanksgiving here..I went completely over the edge. Gorging myself with everything and anything. Pie Pie Pie, turkey stuffing taters buns, dessert dessert dessert. Ok so I lived off that for a few days, still no exercise either. What do I do when its over and I get back home? Cookies and Icecream. And oh yes..more left over pie. And theres no food in the house...so lets go get mcDs and more frozen crap to make in a hurry. Maybe I should exercise...HA!
Long story short...I gained 8 lbs back in a week and a half. I feel sick and want to cry. It takes SOOO MUCH WORK to bust my @ss all week and eat perfectly for me to lose 1 lousy lb. But then I blink..and I can gain back 8 like that. I know that is so unhealthy and sooner or later Im going to develop something seriously wrong with my health if I keep doing this uncontrolable roller coaster to my body. It scares me...very much.
Ive got to stop..I need help..I dont knowhow I keep losing control like this. SOmething is terribly wrong with my brain I think.
Well..once again...starting over. This chaos ends today.
Member Comments About This Blog Post:
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KIKI25GRACE
12/2/2009 5:49PM
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Brandy my girl you have 2 choices: 1) You can give up and let the weight pile up until you're too unhealthy to play with Morgan and live an active life with her. OR 2) You can continue fighting and show Morgan that you are a fighter and someone to look up to. You choice.  Love you girl!
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BB1028
12/1/2009 8:22PM
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Oh Brandy ~ 1st thing, knowing & admitting what ya did wrong is something right there. Don't be quite so hard on yourself though. We've all been there. Whats done is done. Ya can't change it . . . let it go! Believe in yourself! You know you can do this, ya did it before & you can do it again. See each day as a new beginning. Think of this as a "lifestyle" not a diet. I know thats hard when your trying to loose wt., but this is what it is. . . if we don't, we're all likely to gain it all back if we go back to our old ways. We have choices every day & we have to learn to make healthy ones. This doesn't mean we can never have McD's or pie again. Just have to learn the healthier menu's, & or not go there too often, eat 1/2 the dessert etc. Moderation I think is the key. You can do this! 
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SHANTODD420
12/1/2009 7:14PM
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Brandy, You can do this just take it one day at a time and one step. You can have mcd but get a salad or yogurt parfait. Get a grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo. They have options you just have to make the choices. Remember this is a lifestyle change and not a diet. Make small changes and good choices each day. Start one day focusing on veggies or fruit not every thing at once. We are here to help anyway we can. Hugs, Shannon |
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POEKSTER
12/1/2009 2:39PM
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{{{{HUGS}}} Brandy, succes isn-t based in not falling, it's based in gettin g uo time and time again. Forgive yourself, get up and get going on. You will and can do this. |
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LUCKYDUCK2
12/1/2009 1:17PM
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Sweetie, you need to get off the diet mindset and doing everything perfect. That is something NONE of us can do and maintain that level. This really is ...REALLY IS...about making small changes and building on them and learning for a lifestyle change...something we can do for the rest of our lives and not feel deprived. By being on a diet...when we go off we BINGE and respond with all kinds of quilt that leads to more failure because we quit. You have been going on and off diets here for awhile and I have done the same thing. I was in the mindset of lose the weight and then all would be ok and it would stay off. the problem with this...I would lose , not learn how to keep it off and go back to the old me and then yes, the weight came back. Start with triggers. You just identified so many and how you responded to them. List them and come up with a plan to fight back with anything but food. This is where it all starts....triggers and how we use food to get past them. Start small and build with mini goals. You can't start at the top and you can't be perfect. I know I can't. Hugs Sweetie. You can do this if you take it one step at a time and develop new habits that don't let you feel deprived. No more diets and 100%. Baby steps. |
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VERGE_OF_ME
12/1/2009 9:29AM
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((((BRANDY))))) YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! I'll help in any way I can....accountability, challenge, good ol' fashioned whoopin', or just an ear to listen. Put this all behind you and look forward from here on out. You are a fighter and stronger than the food....I believe in you girl....I'm so proud of you for not going into cave mode....that is one heck of a start. I challenge you today....to just make good choices.....when your cupboards are bare and you're hungry that is difficult. If you go to McD's...get grilled chicken....if you eat pie....have a half serving. Small things lead to big results.....and you are going to make it!!!! |
Week 5
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Lost 4 lbs this week! Total in 5 weeks = 12 lbs! Yay...Im so excited!
I hit many goals this week!
1. Losing my 1st 10 lb loss!
2. 5 weeks in a row of losing
3. consistency in exercise and eating
4. staying motivated past the month mark
Yayyy! Usually by now Ive quit and am gaining back what I just lost, in a slump, no motivation, feeling yucky, etc etc etc. This time I feel like its working! Its tough..but its working! I DO have to work ALOT thistime then I did the first..but none the less..it ISSSS working! I'll take that! Im feeling pumped, happy, successful, and strong!
Dear Good Feelings,
Please dont go away!
Love, Brandy :)
Ok so lets keep up what was working here...goal setting! I still have my 20 lb goal by Jan 1st, which Im well on my way to. I had actually reset my ticker and goals to lose 20 by Dec 7th now. If I can push myself to meet that..great! If not tho..Ill stick to my Jan 1st goal and be happy! I gave myself extra room for error when I initially set that, and it seemed to impossible at the time because I had been trying to hit 10 lbs for the last 16 months...and failing! Now like I said..Im at 12..and going strong!
I did better tracking this week like I said, and I woke up early 2 days to walk. The other 2 days wasnt posssible, so Im proud to say I pushed myself to do what I hated...indoor aerobics! I did a 3 mile WATP one day and a Tae Bo the other. So Im sticking to my plan of 30 mins minimum, 4 times a week exercise. Most times tho Im doing 40-50 tho..bonus! I dont want to push myself too fast in that area cuz then I get tired and back out of it completely. I see what others do in my challenge for exercise and often compare myself..but thats where I get in trouble! They have also lost a ton more weight then me and have been consistant alot longer! So I got to keep reminding myself to not compare..I will get there when "Im" ready! I also did do a little more strength training this week. Not as much as Id like..but more then I was..so!
Goals this week:
Track! (atleast 5 full days!)
Exercise! (4 days, 40 mins)
Strength! (2 days, 20 mins)
Motivation! (keep it strong!)
Week 6......come and get me!!!!!
Member Comments About This Blog Post:
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VERGE_OF_ME
11/9/2009 6:14PM
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I adore your blogs Brandy!!! You are one special chica and I am so happy to be getting to know you...what a blessing! Super proud of you for so many reasons...but I know how hard it is to push yourself into those indoor exercise days...so KUDOS to you!!! Just keep doing what you're doing...it's obviously working gangbusters for ya!!! GO BRANDY!! |
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MAXBALLARD
11/8/2009 10:29AM
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Yipppppeeeee for Brandy! Job well done. You're right, don't compare yourself to anyone. We are all different, so you're special on your own merits. |
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CARIOLA
11/7/2009 12:04PM
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Go, Brandy, go! You're right, sticking with it is the hardest part--and it seems that you've got it down this time. AWESOME!
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COUNTRYDI
11/7/2009 11:50AM
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YOU are one heck of a great person! I'm so proud of you! I can see the change in your attitude, persistence and positive ways! You go girl!!! 
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BARBARA_G
11/7/2009 11:16AM
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You're doing great! It's a good idea not to compare yourself to others, you're very right. Everyone's situation is different. Congratulations for sticking with it, Barbara |
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KIKI25GRACE
11/7/2009 10:43AM
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I am so stinkin' proud of you girl! Not for the pounds lost, even though that's amazing, but for the sticking with it. You are an amazing person and you are showing yourself each and everyday that YOU ARE WORTH IT! |
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LUCKYDUCK2
11/7/2009 10:34AM
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Rock on!! Awesome.
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