Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I bought the Spark Solution book as soon as it came out and followed the plan for 2 weeks and lost 10 lbs in those 2 weeks. Of course I gained them back because I went on vacation. That was in July and I still haven't gotten my motivation to start back. I decided not to follow the Solution plan until I use up all of the food in my pantry and freezer. I planned on measuring diligently and tracking everything and staying within my calorie limit. Haven't done it once. I've been guesstimating how much I'm eating and sometimes logging but not most of the time. All of the bad habits that I need to break. I also decided to increase my exercising gradually and start by walking everyday. I've managed to walk most days but not all. I was pretty happy about that.
I've been walking around my neighborhood and there's a family that lives around the corner and down the street that is usually outside. The parents smoke so they are usually out smoking and the kids are wandering around at various times. ALL of them are seriously overweight. As bad as it sounds (it even sounds bad in my head), I've managed to walk most days because in my mind, I think I've got to lose weight before I have kids because I don't want to be the fat mom with a fat kid like the family around the corner. I know it's awful to get my motivation in such a horrible way but my heart hurts to see these kids so overweight and not playing just wandering around the yard and the overweight parents who probably don't think there's a problem.
And I also was thinking that I've got to lose weight so I don't get as big as so-and-so. I know that's awful too.
Then I was looking through the pics from my vacation and I realized "OMG!!! I am as big as so-and-so."
I think I found my motivation. I walked yesterday, ate fairly decent yesterday. Ate my oatmeal for breakfast this morning, walked, did my Zumba DVD and my Jillian DVD (both of which haven't been touched in months).
I know its awful to think bad things about others but is it awful if it motivates me to be a better me????
I don't think so. I didn't really think bad things about them as much as I pitied them and hoped I didn't become like them. Then I realized I am like them and now am trying to do something about it. I guess we all get our motivation from somewhere and as long as it motivates us to do something good its okay.